I said. ‘My googlewhack was an 
, he insisted that I visit the 
of 
before he gave me my next ‘whack. We went out for the night and he introduced me to a 
who licked my 
.’
Langur |
noun: any of various arboreal monkeys of South and South East Asia having long hair surrounding the face, a slender body, long tail. Genus: Presbytis. |
Dandelions |
noun: a plant, native to Europe and Asia, having yellow rayed flowers and notched basal leaves. They can be used in salads or wine. Taraxacum officinale. |
‘So how come you’re back in Washington?’ asked Danielle.
‘Yeah … I don’t get it,’ said David scratching his head.
‘Well,’ I said, pausing to take a sip of coffee and compose my words. Kramer’s Bookstore was the kind of place you could take a long pause in and no one minded. ‘I’m going for it: ten googlewhacks in a row before my 32nd birthday.’
‘But I thought you were supposed to be writing a novel,’ said David. ‘Last time we saw you, you definitely said you weren’t accepting the challenge.’
‘That’s a bit rich coming from you!’ I said, taking playful offence. ‘You’re the one who found me Coelacanth Sharpener! I didn’t ask you to. You’re the one who said I should go to Boston!’
‘Yeah but—’ started Danielle but I cut her short.
‘And don’t you start,’ I said. I was on a roll. ‘He only found me Coelacanth Sharpener because you bought me that Teeny Christmas Google!’
‘What?’ she asked. ‘So it’s my fault?’
‘Yeah!’ said David and I in unison, making each other laugh. Danielle skewed her mouth to one side in a mock sulk that quickly gave way to laughter too.
‘Right,’ she said, ‘but the point is you are going for it and you’re back in town so I presume your next googlewhack is in Washington?’
‘I think so,’ I said.
‘Think so?’ asked David, the surprise catching him mid-sip and forcing him to spit some of his coffee back.
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘I think so. Number seven in a chain took me to China to meet Yoyo Triptychs and he found…’
‘China!’ said David, recycling his coffee for the second time. ‘You went to China? What was that like?’
‘Oh, it was absolutely I said. ‘My googlewhack was an , he insisted that I visit the of
before he gave me my next ‘whack. We went out for the night and he introduced me to a who licked my .’
‘That sounds amazing!’ said Danielle.
‘Yeah, it was,’ I agreed. ‘But most importantly he found two googlewhacks: Langurs Nasturtium and Langur Dandelions.’
‘He likes a langur,’ said David.
‘He certainly does. But that’s two ’whacks that can take me to eight in a row. Langurs Nasturtium leads to KathysCritters.com. Kathy lives in LA and she’s agreed to meet me. I’m flying out later on today.’
‘And Langur Dandelions?’ asked Danielle.
‘The website was about a TV show. A documentary about a country called Bhutan. It was written and produced by a man called Harry Marshall. I couldn’t find an email address or a phone number but the production company are based in Washington. They’re on Connecticut Avenue NW.’
‘So you’ve come to Washington on the off-chance that Harry Marshall is working at their office?’ asked Danielle, a little incredulous.
‘Well, the website says they’re the production company and he’s the producer so it’s not that far-fetched,’ I said defensively. ‘And besides, it’s on my way.’
‘What?’ said David and Danielle in disbelieving unison.
‘I’m going from London to LA,’ I said. ‘Washington is on the way. It’s going to cost me half a day at most. If Harry’s there I get him and then I go to LA and meet Kathy. If it works out, I’ll have two people in the number eight slot; if it doesn’t, I’ve still got one. Two number eights means four potential number nines means eight potential number tens. It gives me a far better chance of getting to ten. I’ve had chains fall apart and it could easily happen again. It’s only costing me half a day so I think it’s a risk worth taking.’
‘Makes sense to me,’ said David with a shrug, before a look of concern flashed across his face. ‘Oh my God. That made sense to me. You’re making sense to me. This is very worrying.’ He took a big gulp of coffee, and this time he managed to swallow it down. ‘Come on,’ he said, ‘I’ll give you a lift.’
*
Devillier Donegan Enterprises were based in a dark, dull, plain 1970s office building with ugly green plastic detailing that did nothing to soften its edges. It looked more like an underfunded public library in Croydon than the home of a savvy TV production company. In the lobby of the building a notice-board informed me of the various companies that were renting office space within. Most of them appeared to be in the financial sector but in among them, I saw DDE, so I took the elevator up to their floor.
‘Hi ... can I help you?’ asked the receptionist. From her tone of voice it was clear she suspected I’d got out of the lift on the wrong floor. I clearly wasn’t dressed for a power meeting and looked like I didn’t belong.
‘Hi, I’m trying to find Harry Marshall,’ I said confidently
‘I don’t think there’s anyone here of that name,’ she said looking down at the notes on her desk, shattering my confidence in one fell swoop.
That wasn’t good news. Harry obviously wasn’t a full-time employee; he obviously wasn’t in the building.
‘He wrote and produced a show you made for PBS,’ I said.
I was hoping that would jog her memory, that she’d suddenly say, ‘Oooohhhhh, Harry! Why didn’t you say? He’s just next door!’ but instead she said, ‘O ... kaaaay?’, pausing mid-word, teasing me with the prospect that it was just a long and confused ‘oh’. Oh well, at least she slowly seemed to be coming round to the idea that I had a legitimate enquiry.
‘The show’s called Bhutan: Land of the Thunder Dragon,’ I said, still hoping to jog her memory.
‘Well, if you wait here I’ll see what I can find out,’ she said, before disappearing into the office beyond. I crossed my fingers.
Maybe he was in town and I’d still be able to meet him before heading to LA and my meeting with Kathy. Then again, he worked in TV, and in America that meant it was odds on that he lived in LA. That would be an amazing result! I crossed my fingers.
‘I have an email address for him if that’s OK,’ said the receptionist as she returned, a Post-it note hanging from her finger. She gave me the address and my heart sank. I immediately knew that Harry wasn’t in Washington or LA because it was clear that he wasn’t in America. Four letters and a couple of punctuation marks told me that: the email address I had for Langur Dandelions ended in .co.uk. He was in Britain!