Chapter 28

Kate offered a sincere thank you and goodbye to Logan, extremely grateful he’d taken her on her rounds in his wagon. Trudging through the muddy streets had proven difficult at best. Yesterday, after she’d returned to town and taken a short nap to give her leg a rest, she’d gone out and visited as many of the women as possible who had left messages in the wooden box. Today, with Logan’s help, she’d managed to visit and attend to the remainder of those who’d written in her notebook.

Exhausted, and her leg sore from walking with her cast, she dragged herself up the stairs, the light and warmth of day fading fast with the early setting sun of late November. The day had been tiring, but nonetheless very rewarding. She looked forward to tomorrow, now having caught up on her visits. If someone were in need of her services, they would hopefully come to her office or send Logan to fetch her.

After unlocking her door, she lifted the lid of the wooden box to see if anyone had stopped by while she had been out. A new, lengthy message had been scribed in the notebook. She grabbed it and stepped inside to get off her leg. As she settled into the chair, she noticed the note was from Lucas. A wave of sadness engulfed her at having missed his visit. A second, stronger surge hit her as she contemplated the disappointment he must have felt. She let out a frustrated breath and read.

My Dearest Katherine,

I’ve waited here on your doorstep as long as I dare. I had so longed to see you today—

A full line had been erased. Smiling, Kate could imagine the deleted words, knowing what she longed for herself. She would have erased them too.

but alas, our meeting is not to be. I need to head back before dark. I shan’t be able to visit you tomorrow. I shall be at the Circle J. The marshal will be with me. Pray that all will go well, for then I will visit you and stay all day. And forever.

Love, Lucas

P.S. I have high hopes, so start planning our wedding.

P.P.S. I cannot bear to wait until Easter. Please, I beg of you, choose an earlier date. May I suggest this Saturday or next?

Kate grinned at his last line. Oh, how she loved that man—and would definitely pray for all to go well out at the Circle J.

She also loved being a doctor.

Sleep refused to come that night. Kate tossed about in her bed. Though her body lay there exhausted, her brain refused to quit churning. One moment she was wondering if she should call off the wedding and the next she was shuddering beneath her covers at the thought of breaking Lucas’s heart. And her own.

By the time the sun rose, she’d managed to get a few hours of sleep. She pulled herself out of bed, got dressed, and set to the task of cooking herself a bowl of mush.

A rapid knock sounded through her door.

Kate hobbled toward it with concern. She opened the door to see Mary Tucker holding her little Caroline in her arms, a cloth with bright-red blood seeping through lying across the child’s forehead.

“Kate, I’m so glad you’re here.” Mary rushed inside. “I’d heard you’ve been gone for quite a spell.”

“What happened?” Kate ushered Mary to the exam table and motioned for her to sit the girl upon it.

“She stood on her chair after breakfast. I told her to sit down, but she held out her hands instead, like she does when she wants me to catch her in my arms. She loves that game, but I wasn’t ready. She jumped. I couldn’t catch her, and she hit her head on the corner of the table. I feel just awful. What kind of mother am I?” Mary let out a sob.

The whimpering four-year-old on the exam table followed suit. From the redness of her eyes and the tear-streaked little face, Kate surmised the child had done plenty of crying since the incident. But other than that, she appeared to be all right.

“It’s going to be okay,” Kate assured the little girl as she carefully laid her down on the table. “I’m going to take care of you,” she said calmly and removed the blood-stained rag from her forehead. She turned to Mary. “Pull up a chair, sit down, and try to relax. Everything is going to be just fine. Caroline is going to need a few stitches, that’s all.” She placed a hand on Mary’s trembling arm. “And you’re not a bad mother. You’re one who plays with her children and obviously loves them immensely.”

After having her hands batted away and the child refusing to lie still despite her mother holding her down, Kate knew she had to try something else. “I’m going to have to give her something to anesthetize her for a little while.”

“Ann-what?” Mary’s eyes opened wide.

“Put her to sleep while I stitch up that nasty laceration. Hold on to her while I get what I need.”

Kate went to her medical cabinet and returned with a drip inhaler and a bottle of chloroform. She’d never used this on such a small patient, but she knew there was no other choice. The cut ran deep and would be painful to stitch properly. She placed the mask over the girl’s mouth and nose and carefully dropped a small amount of the chemical onto its porous surface. In less than a minute, the little body relaxed, and Kate was able to tend to her wound.

When Kate had finished, she had Mary carry her child to the overstuffed chair and hold her close. “I’d like you to stay here until Caroline wakes up fully.” Kate sat down next to her on a kitchen chair. “So just sit and relax for a while and tell me how you and your family have been doing.”

Mary chatted about her children, how she was expecting another one and looked forward to Kate delivering it rather than old Mrs. Watson, who’d served as a midwife in Craig since it’d been settled. The old woman had been going blind for the past year and had told everyone she was giving up midwifery.

Kate’s spirits slumped. It must have shone in her eyes, because Mary stopped and gazed into her face.

“What’s wrong, Kate? You look as though someone’s just knocked the wind right out of you.”

“It’s nothing. At least nothing I can’t handle.” Kate knew it was a lie the moment it fell from her lips.

“You don’t sound very convincing. And it’s not at all fair coming from the person who told me to open up and share my woes with her.” Mary reached out her free arm and took Kate’s hand. “It does help to talk about it. Promise.”

Kate told Mary about the time she’d spent out at the McCurdy place, how Lucas had proposed, and about their plans for marriage as soon as conflicts with the Circle J were resolved. She found it therapeutic to open up. Continuing, she poured out her heart concerning her desire and need to be a physician.

“Those are two wonderful stories.” Mary shifted the groggy child on her lap. “I must be missing something though, ’cause I’m yet to understand the reason for your long face.”

“You don’t see the problem?” Kate stared at Mary.

Mary shook her head.

“I can’t give my whole heart to Lucas if I insist on putting it into my practice. On the other hand, I can’t give my all to being a doctor if I want to give Lucas the attention he deserves—and that I want to give him.”

“Who says?” Mary’s words came out boldly.

Kate felt as though truth had just slapped her in the face.

“I know you, Kate. You’re one who could do both—and do them just fine!”

It sounded like encouragement Kate would have rendered the day she’d stepped off that stagecoach, determined to succeed in her dreams no matter what—and help others succeed in theirs. “You really think so?” Though she could feel the cogs of determination stripping away the rust, she thirsted for the affirmation.

“Absolutely. You’ve just got to learn to balance and juggle. I did that after you challenged me to pursue my dreams. I love my kids, but I love to sew and decorate, and I realized I did need a creative outlet. So I started sprucing up the hotel with my homemade decorations. Then I started myself a little sewing business. I found I could do both—as long as I was organized and set limits. And now I’m a better mother and a better seamstress. Campbell’s happier and letting me have more input with the running of the hotel, and I’m a whole lot happier.”

Little Caroline awoke, but Kate and Mary continued talking. For the next hour, they discussed plans of how Kate could come into the office twice a week—as long as the weather permitted—and see to patients whose ailments could wait a day or two. If there was an emergency when Kate was home tending to her home and family, Doc Greene was still here. They both agreed that where Kate was really needed was in taking on Hazel Watson’s role as the town midwife. With all the young families flocking to the area, there would be more babies born than ever before and a need for someone with more training in that area to deliver them. Kate wouldn’t be busy every day delivering babies or taking care of women’s health problems, but it would be enough to satisfy her desire to serve as a physician while giving her plenty of time to be a good wife. And mother. When she and Lucas were blessed with children, Mary had volunteered to babysit them the days Kate came into her office. She’d also offered to sew Kate’s wedding dress if Kate brought her the fabric.

By the time Mary left, Caroline was ready to dance around the room and get back to being a little girl. Kate too was tempted to dance around the room. She was ready to get back to being a girl in love. There was white fabric to buy and a wedding to plan. She grabbed her coat and purse and followed Mary down the steps and then headed to Decker’s store, hoping Lavender could help her do more than pick out lace.