Alex Goldberg
Comic
AMBER, early 20s
AMBER records her latest entry in her VLOG, a video diary she uploads to the Internet. In previous VLOG entries she talks about her plan to move to Hollywood and become a famous celebrity. This is her first entry after making the arrangements to make it to Hollywood.
AMBER I have some very exciting news. So, Mr. Producer man . . . well, he begged to see me, and guess what?
[She beats out a drumroll on her leg.]
He’s taking me to Hollywood! Yep, the big city and me! The next time I film this VLOG, I’ll be coming to you from my glamorous new digs in sunny Southern California. This week will be my last here in this town, so don’t panic if I go a few weeks without updating. I won’t be staying with him, of course, but I’m sure his guest house will do nicely. I couldn’t have done it without all your help. I want you all to know that you are my closest friends, and I cherish all the time I’ve spent talking to you, and reading your responses. Your support has been wonderful, and it’s on the strength of your backs that has enabled me to stand so tall. I’d also like to thank my agent and everyone at the studio, who were all very helpful in getting my career going. Let’s see, all my wonderful costars, who made me look better every day. Of course, I made them look great from day one! Oh, I had so many more people to thank, but now that I’m actually up here, I don’t really remember everything! Ugh . . . my acting coach would kill me for blanking. I must thank the loves of my life, of course, my dogs Bipsy and Nipsy. Boys, mama’s bringing you steak tomorrow! And lastly, I know, the music is kicking in, but just give me a few more seconds please, thanks . . . And lastly, all of you, because if none of you had watched me, if none of you had tuned into my early days of having a VLOG, then I wouldn’t exist. Without you, I don’t exist.