It was ridiculous, but Adeline had been smiling all day. And it wasn’t because Mrs. Le Roe had delivered the first four of Adeline’s new gowns for the Season bright and early that morning or simply because it was a beautiful spring day. No, she’d awakened with no doubts, no concerns, and no regrets about the few passionate minutes she and Lyon had shared last night. She had finally felt wanted for who she was. Desired. Not used for a purpose. Their time together was indescribable and she wasn’t going to try to understand why or how it all came about. The only thing she wanted was to enjoy how she was feeling today.
Wonderful. Joyous. Free.
And, in some ways it might be selfish, but she felt deserving of everything she’d experienced with the earl.
She hadn’t been sure what exactly she’d expected or wanted when she’d left her gloves behind at his house. But Lyon had left her no doubt that he’d known exactly what to do and how to accomplish it. She laughed lightly. As far as she was concerned, their coming together couldn’t have been any more perfect for her.
Many times throughout the day her happy mind had betrayed her and turned to thinking about the possibility of a next time with Lyon. She would immediately shut down the thoughts. Those were for another day. She didn’t want to think about the answers. For now, she only wanted to enjoy reliving the memories of every embrace, kiss, and stroke of his hand. Tomorrow would be soon enough to worry about the future and what it would hold for her.
Adeline stood beside her bed, one arm folded across her chest and tapping a finger on her chin as she looked down at the gowns draped across the bedcoverings. Amber, midnight blue, a faded mulberry, and a deep forest green. The dark colors were sedate enough to satisfy the harshest critiques for what was acceptable for her status in Society now. The sheer overdresses had enough trim, beading, and satin bows and ribbons to be formal enough for a candlelight ball.
Married ladies could be flamboyant, extravagant, and push the boundaries of fashion beyond the pale as far as color, fashion, and showing off their bosoms. Young unmarried misses and widows were not given the same freedoms.
They had rules to follow.
Adeline had topped each gown with three pairs of gloves, several decorated combs, and more than a few pieces of jewelry to match each one. Now all she had to do was make the decision as to which gown to wear first and what adornments she would settle on for each ball. She should send notes to Julia and Brina to find out if either of them had decided on a color. But what would it matter if they were all in the same color? In fact, it might be entertaining if they all arrived in the same shade of widow weeds. The talk that would start made Adeline smile, too. It had always been their plan to be companions for one another and attend the first ball together. They’d decided that more than a year ago when they were meeting once a week and making plans for the school.
Adeline sighed softly and looked at the gowns. After last night, she really didn’t care which she wore. In truth, all the dresses looked alike. Demure because her station in life required it. But what she had on couldn’t change what she felt inside. Lyon had shown her what she’d always thought. She was filled with uninhibited fire and passion, and she knew how to share it and accept the same from him.
It had always been a battle of wills between them until they came together, each wanting the same thing. Each receiving. They came together as equals with the same goal in mind. He had fulfilled her long desire and brought lovemaking to life for her. He’d left her no doubts she’d satisfied him as well. There was a time early in her married life when she’d longed for Wake to look at her, touch her as Lyon had last night. That desire perished when time after time he treated his union with her as no more than doing a business deal.
Lyon showed her the difference and gave her hope it might happen again. That gave her much to smile about.
Adeline kept all her clothing simple. The fewer things one had to worry about, the fewer servants one needed. The still-fashionable high-waist shift was easy to slip on without help. Simple was good for Adeline. When her required period of mourning was over, she’d left her brother-in-law’s house and moved into a small, leased house in Mayfair where she’d lived until buying Mr. Bottles’ property. Adeline had hired Mrs. Lawton and quickly discovered the housekeeper was so efficient she needed no other fulltime staff. Two women came early in the mornings to help Mrs. Lawton with laundry, building the fires, and other such duties that required more help, but they were usually gone before midday.
Within a few tries and failures, Adeline had learned how to skillfully pull up her own hair, shape it into an acceptable chignon at her nape or sometimes the top of her head, and secure it with combs and pins. She found she needed no help deciding what dress to don for the day or someone to lay it out for her. Managing the clasps on necklaces and earrings was really quite easy, too. Most of her stays and bodices were made to fasten in the front or to crisscross and tie in an easy string bow at the center of her back. And Mrs. Lawton was always available for clothing that took more effort.
A light knock on the doorframe sounded. Adeline turned and said, “Ah, Mrs. Lawton. How did you know I was just about to call for you? I’m thinking I should wear the amber-colored gown for the first ball. What do you think?”
The woman walked over and glanced down. “That will go very nicely with your hair, but—”
Adeline frowned. “But what?”
“You know buttercream is my favorite color, my lady. Whether it’s a man’s shirt and neckcloth, an apron, or a lady’s fancy gown.”
Smiling, Adeline said, “Yes, I do remember. And I love the crisp clean look of it, too. But it’s not suitable for me. What do you think about the blue? It’s really dark, isn’t it?”
“It looks black to me, my lady, but I suspect I best leave the decision to you, and tell you that Mrs. Tallon sent Miss Peat over with a message for you. Asking if it might be possible for you to come over to the school for a minute or two.”
“Now?”
Mrs. Lawton nodded. “She mentioned that the girls wanted to give you a proper thank-you.”
“I don’t mind going to the school, but heavens, they should know a personal thank-you isn’t necessary. Besides, they’ve already been here almost a month. If anything, I should thank them and their families again for having made the sacrifice to come here.”
Doing this for the girls was really the only thing she’d ever done in life that was of any consequence and she was grateful they’d given her the chance to do something so worthy. It made her feel useful. Happy. She needed no thanks.
“They’re learning to sew, aren’t they?” Mrs. Lawton asked. “Maybe they made a handkerchief for you. Or now that they are learning to write, they could have written something for you. Best you go there rather than all of them come over here.”
The worried look on Mrs. Lawton’s face made Adeline chuckle. “You’re right, I’ll go.”
She looked back at the gowns. The amber it would be. She removed the white-and-beige gloves, the long strand of pearls, and the large teardrop amethyst that hung on a gold chain. She would go with the dark brown gloves, the choker of amber beads and matching dangling earrings, and combs for her hair.
“Prepare these for the first ball. I’ll choose the things for the other dresses when I return, but at least I’m set for one evening. Thank you for helping me make up my mind, Mrs. Lawton.”
The sky was blue and the day not so cold so Adeline didn’t bother with bonnet, cape, or gloves. Once she was down her back steps, it was hardly more than fifty or sixty steps to the front door of the school. A spirited walk would do her good. Her gray woolen dress should be sufficient enough for a quick, though completely unnecessary, thank-you from the girls. However, it would be lovely to see them close up again, and to look at their shining eyes and rosy cheeks.
The short brisk walk added to the invigorating disposition Adeline had felt all day. It was simply amazing what a few minutes of passion could do for one’s temperament. Nothing seemed as bleak and dour as it once had. And she owed it all to Lyon. The usually ornery earl had turned into a blessing in disguise. Now she was looking forward to the first ball of the Season when before she’d dreaded it.
Within a minute or two, Adeline opened the door of the school and walked inside. An eruption of noise exploded, startling her. In the far corner Miss Hinson was seated at a grand-looking rosewood pianoforte, playing a lively tune. The girls were gathered nearby smiling from ear to ear and clapping and squealing. Mrs. Tallon and Miss Peat stood behind Miss Hinson with even bigger smiles. The usually serious teachers were clapping, too!
Everyone curtsied and yelled out, “Thank you, Lady Wake!” The students then started jumping and cheering loudly as only kids could do.
All Adeline could think was who in the world had something as large as the pianoforte delivered to the wrong address? She hadn’t bought that glorious-sounding, beautifully carved instrument for them and neither had Julia or Brina. Whoever had was going to come looking for it and take it back! What was she going to do? The girls were so excited and happy.
“I can play it, too,” Mrs. Tallon was saying when the girls quieted down and Miss Hinson switched to a softer, more subdued score. “Though not as well as Miss Hinson.”
“I’ve never heard one before,” Fanny said, stepping closer to the pianoforte and running her hand along the side of the wood. “How does it make that beautiful sound?”
“You never mind about that,” Mrs. Tallon said, reaching over and gently taking hold of the little girl’s wrist with her thumb and forefinger and removing her hand. “And don’t you be touching it, either. Not any of you,” she added looking at the other girls.
Adeline could understand Fanny’s natural curiosity about the pianoforte. When played correctly it could be as soothing as warm water washing over your shoulders and back. It was sobering and heartbreaking to realize that most of the girls had probably never heard music other than the voices of their mothers or fathers humming or singing.
But her heart ached. What was she going to do? She wouldn’t let the pianoforte be taken away now that the girls had been exposed to it.
“Not that either of us will try to teach any of the girls how to play, of course,” Mrs. Tallon continued with her conversation. “They are here to learn more beneficial things, but it will be such a wonderful luxury for all of us when we have our singing lessons in the mornings and in the evenings while everyone is getting settled for bed. We are grateful for such a generous gift to the school, Lady Wake.”
Adeline swallowed hard. She would have gladly already purchased one if it had once crossed her mind the girls might enjoy hearing melodic music. She had been so focused on what they needed to learn, the skills they needed to find work that she hadn’t given enough thought to what they needed to enjoy in the present. Mrs. Tallon was right. Playing an instrument wouldn’t earn them a wage like sewing a fine stitch, cutting a straight pattern, or making fancy bows from silk and satin, but she could see it was going to add great enjoyment to their lives at the boarding school.
But Adeline had work to do.
There couldn’t be many businesses in London that sold pianofortes. She’d have to find out which ones did and discover who had made this mistake. It was doubtful, but she would be hopeful the school could keep this one and the company have another just like it delivered to the rightful owner. If not, she’d have to come up with a good reason why the pianoforte was switched out for a different one. But she couldn’t stand the thought of the girls watching that pianoforte being carried from the school.
“I’m glad everyone is so pleased,” Adeline said and then smiled. “It’s important to have something lovely to look forward to each day. But now, I must bid you good day.”
Adeline started to make a hasty retreat but noticed several of the girls still staring at the rosewood with awe. It was indeed a rare refinement for a charitable school. She turned to Mrs. Tallon and added, “Why don’t you let the girls line up and take turns coming by one at a time to touch the pianoforte? Let them press the keys if they want to. Their small hands won’t harm it.”
The headmistress gave her usual frown when she didn’t like what Adeline said. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, my lady. It might encourage them to touch it at other times.”
“Maybe. I think it’s more likely that it would satisfy their curiosity about it and keep them from wanting to look it over when you aren’t nearby. Better they do it now when you can control them.” Refusing to take no for an answer, she added, “Don’t be stingy with their time. Give each of them plenty to give it a once-over.”
“Of course, if that is what you want.”
“It is,” she said, feeling delighted the girls had this opportunity.
Adeline said goodbye to everyone and walked out. There was no time to waste in getting to Town and finding out where the beautiful piece came from. At any moment it could be snatched away from the girls, leaving them heartbroken and wondering what was going on, and that would make Adeline feel absolutely wretched. Hurrying under the trellis, her gaze strayed to the back grounds of the earl’s house. She saw he was standing near the low garden wall between their properties, looking at the school. She stopped and then he noticed her, too. He quickly backed out of sight as if he hoped she hadn’t seen him.
Why?
Did he not want to see her after last night? No, that didn’t feel right. He wouldn’t hide from her because of what had happened between them. From her husband she knew that men handled dalliances very well. Had he heard the pianoforte playing and thought to stop it as he had the girls playing outside? Now that wouldn’t surprise her but somehow that didn’t feel right either. The noise might have caused him to come outside but it wasn’t the reason he hurriedly tried to blend into the afternoon shadows to avoid her.
Another possibility leapt into her mind, causing her heartbeat to quicken, and her chest swelled at the thought. That explanation felt right. It would be just like him to do something so roguish.
Without taking time to really consider the likelihood or viability of what had entered her mind or what she would say to him about it, Adeline changed direction and marched alongside the tall yew border that separated her grounds from the school. She hurried across the small patch of garden and over to the vine-covered wall between her house and the dashing earl’s. As she rounded the corner, she saw he was about to disappear into his house.
“Don’t you dare go through that door until you have spoken to me,” she called to him. When it came to Lyon, she was always compelled by emotions, not sensible reasoning. If last night proved anything, it was that.
Lyon turned toward her. “If you insist.” He smiled innocently and headed back down the steps, saying, “And good afternoon to you, too, Adeline.”
Adeline?
Of course, he would now feel familiar enough with her to call her by her first name. And she familiar enough with him that the informality of it didn’t bother her. Without considering the violation of invading his privacy, she followed the wall down to the wooden gate that had been mounted at the end of the stone wall, opened it, and went through to his back garden and met him at the bottom of his portico.
“It doesn’t appear as if you are surprised to see me,” she said, trying to subdue the tingling awareness of desire that always assailed her whenever she was near him.
“Why should I be?” His gaze swept up and down her face, making her feel as if he were looking at the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “We are neighbors.”
She met his gaze without flinching and said, “I believe you know why I’m here.”
“That’s not entirely true.”
His answer caught her unaware and for a moment she didn’t know how to respond. A crisp wind blew a strand of hair across her cheek and she brushed it behind her ear. “What do you mean?”
Apparently sensing her caution, he said, “There is more than one reason you could be here. I have no way of knowing on which to bestow the honor.”
Unable to deny the truth of his words, she said, “One of them we decided not to talk about.”
“Did we?” he asked in a husky voice and with an attractive quirk of his head. “Or did you?”
“Both of us,” she answered firmly. “I asked that we not discuss what happened between us, and because you are a gentleman you agreed and it was settled. So that can’t be the reason I’m here.”
“All right,” he said, moving over a few steps and leaning his rump against the back of a marble bench in an attractively easy manner. “Another reason you could be here is because you are returning the umbrella you borrowed yesterday, but it’s not in your hand.”
“No,” she admitted guiltily. Because of how it came to be in her possession, she hadn’t even remembered she’d used it. “I’ll see it’s returned later.”
“Then you must have come over because you wanted to see me again.” He gave her a gentle smile. “That would be a sound motive for us to meet again.”
Adeline’s heart pounded. So he did want to be with her again. She hadn’t wanted to think about that today and she couldn’t think about it now. She could play this cat–and-mouse game with him the rest of the evening, but if her instincts weren’t right, she was wasting valuable time. Trusting her intuition, she said, “You sent a pianoforte to the school.”
He took in a long breath but remained silent.
So it was true. She walked closer to him. “I want to know why.”
“Perhaps I grew tired of hearing the girls sing off-key each morning and thought some softly played music might be a welcoming respite.”
She swallowed a shivery gasp of chilling air before saying, “You are every bit the beast I thought you were.”
He smiled. “Do the girls like it?”
“They love it,” she said, and flew into his arms so quickly she almost knocked him over the top of the bench.
Lyon caught himself and her to keep them from falling backward. He laughed. Adeline laughed.
He spread his knees, and in an unthinking response she stepped in intimately close to him as he settled against the bench again with his feet firmly planted on the ground. He gathered her up against his chest, closed his thighs around hers and pressed her tightly against him. The warmth of his body, the tightness of his embrace, the humor in his face, instantly soothed her ruffled spirit and delighted her. She rested against his body, letting him hold her up.
Adeline slid her arms under his coat and around his waist. Reaching up, she placed her lips against his and gave him a long, soft, and gentle kiss. It was relaxing, heavenly. Natural and right. Savoring. His response was all she could want it to be. When she thought to break the kiss and pull away, his hand slid up her neck to hold the back of her head.
“Not yet.”
She willingly accepted the pressure of his grasp, not caring that he wasn’t ready for their embrace to end. She didn’t mind that he took control. It kindled and enhanced all she was feeling for him.
“I needed to thank you.”
With his lips hovering just above hers, he whispered, “Then go ahead and thank me again before I let go of you.”
Their kisses weren’t frantic, searching and demanding as they’d been last night. They were languorous, cherishing but with no less feeling of wanting and needing to be closer. She felt as if she would be happy to never stop kissing him. It was magical how her lips pressed to Lyon’s, her breasts flattened against his chest, could stir up and awaken the most wonderful spirals of sensations in her body, making her feel totally agreeable to being possessed by him.
When his lips finally moved to the corner of her mouth and then across her cheek to nuzzle around the warmth of her ear, he whispered, “We shouldn’t be doing this out here but I can’t seem to stop.”
Adeline leaned away from him and asked, “Lyon, I need to know, did you purchase the pianoforte because of what happened between us last night?”
He questioned her with his eyes, “What exactly are you asking?”
“Why did you give the school the pianoforte?”
His arms tightened around her. His body stiffened. Slowly, he lifted his head and looked at her. Anger crinkled around his eyes and mouth. “Do you think it was a thank-you for giving me something I’ve wanted since I first saw you? Do you think the pianoforte was an apology for that or a recompense for guilt? Is that what you think?”
“I don’t know,” she answered, wanting him to see the concern in her expression and hear it in her voice. “I don’t want it to be for any of those reasons.”
“Then why would you ask?”
“Because it crossed my mind. It was an expensive gift.”
He slid his hands under her arms, picked her up, and gently set her away from him and straightened to his full height. His gaze lingered on hers only a moment before saying, “The truth? Yes, it was guilt that made me do it, but it had nothing to do with you. It was the girls. It was guilt because I yelled at them and I shouldn’t have.”
Relieved and pleased that his gift had nothing to do with her or what happened between them, she swallowed a deep breath. She jerked her hands to her hips, but instead of giving him a disapproving scowl, she gave him a bit of a grin. “So, days later, you finally admit you raised your voice to them?”
“Yes,” he said disgustedly as he turned away from her but just as quickly turned back and pulled her into his arms once again. His silvery gaze burned right into hers. “Don’t make light of it. They deserved better from me than they got. So did you. I yelled at you that day, too.”
“I remember.”
“I also will admit I have never held anyone in my arms that I wanted more than I wanted you last night. I’ve never been with anyone who had more passion and eagerness for my touch than you had and I want to be with you again. Right now is not soon enough for me, Adeline. No guilt, no apologies, and no regrets for that. Can you say the same?”
Adeline sucked in a deep yearning breath. She’d needed to hear that from him, too. “Yes. You have me feeling things I shouldn’t feel, saying things I shouldn’t say, doing things I shouldn’t do. I don’t know what makes me want to kiss you every time I see you but I do. I have no guilt, no apologies and no regrets either.”
“So we understand each other?” he asked, his expression still serious.
“We do.”
His arms squeezed her tightly and claimed her lips in a long passionate kiss. All he had to do was touch her and she wanted to be with him again.
“We are taking too many chances out here even if we are in the back garden.” He let go of her and stepped away. “There’s always a chance someone may see us.”
“Yes, of course. You’re right. We must be more careful. I seem to lose all reasoning when I’m with you. Thank you for your gift to the girls,” she said hastily and turned to go.
“Wait, Adeline.”
“Yes.”
“I should let you know there may be gossip about your visit to my house yesterday. Someone will talk and it will get discussed.”
“I’ve expected as much and I’m prepared. Should the staunch pillars of Society show up at my door and forbid me to attend any of the parties or simply shun me when I attend one, I think I am strong enough to survive it.”
“I believe that, too. I don’t think anyone would dare say anything to you, but they will be looking at you. You and your friends have already created great interest with the school and now this is bound to cause more gossip.”
Adeline hugged her arms to her chest, suddenly feeling the cold of the afternoon after Lyon’s warm embrace. Once her husband had told her she was the subject of tittle-tattle because she hadn’t given him a son. “I have endured much worse, Lyon.”
He walked closer to her. With the backs of his fingers he brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “What?”
She looked into his dreamy eyes. The concerned look on his face and in his eyes had her suddenly wishing she could tell him, and share her burden. It wasn’t just idle curiosity that made him ask. He cared and wanted to help. That made her throat thicken and her gratitude run deep. Adeline knew she was feeling way too much for the earl. Against her wishes, against her best efforts, her heart was involved in what she felt for him. It was difficult for her to say no to him.
Her hesitation prompted him to say, “Tell me. I want to understand.”
His voice washed over her as silkily as an embroidery thread pulled through a delicate fabric. For reasons she couldn’t understand she was tempted to tell him what she went through, but where would she start and where would she end?
“No.” She stepped away from his touch. “Nothing in particular.”
“All right.” He slowly lowered his hand and accepted her words. “There’s something else I should tell you. Our neighbor across the street, Mrs. Feversham, saw me enter your house last night.”
That concerned Adeline more than her verbally accosting the gentlemen. That was done in daylight and she had good reason for entering his house.
“She saw you come inside? How could she see in the dark? Mrs. Lawton had already extinguished the outside lamps. Only one small light burned inside the house. Did Mrs. Feversham tell you this?”
“I’ve never met her. My aunt let me know this morning when she came over. Cordelia said she took care of the lady’s concerns and there will be no more talk about it.”
“Are you sure?” she asked more breathlessly than she would have liked. “I’m not fearful for myself but for the school. I wouldn’t want anything to happen that might cause someone to think the school needed to be closed because I behaved inappropriately.”
“I don’t believe there is any chance of that. If Cordelia Carbonall says she has it under control, she does.”
“You trust her that much?”
“I do. She can be fierce when she needs to be. Mrs. Feversham would listen to Cordelia because she’s the only one who has consistently visited with her since she fell. She wouldn’t want to lose such a good friend. It’s troublesome that Mrs. Feversham doesn’t have much to do other than watch her neighbors.”
“Like you,” Adeline said with a sudden smile.
“Me?” Lyon grimaced.
She lifted her chin and tossed out, “You admitted to watching me from the window of your bedchamber, my lord.”
“That was different.” He smiled, too. “I did, but I didn’t have a spyglass.”
“Oh my,” she said, her lighter attitude fading as quickly as it had arrived. “Truly?”
He nodded.
“That is troublesome. Do you suppose it can see around the side of your house to where we are now?”
Lyon laughed. “No, I’m sure of that, but there are still risks to being out in my back garden together. You should go.”
She knew he wasn’t trying to get rid of her. He was sincerely worried about her reputation, but she couldn’t say it was worrying her overly much—except where the girls were concerned. Gossip about her might in some way endanger the well-being of the school. And while it hadn’t happened so far, she could be taken to task about it at any time. For the school she needed to be as proper as possible—when she wasn’t in the privacy of her own home.
“Yes, I agree. I probably shouldn’t have come over. I wanted you to know the girls are very happy.”
“I’m glad. And, Adeline?”
“Yes,” she said hopefully.
“I don’t want the girls to know the pianoforte came from me.”
“Why? They should know that—”
“That’s the way I want it, Adeline.”