He was a beast. Except he wasn’t.
For three days Adeline had stewed about her neighbor. Well, some of that time she’d simmered and a time or two she’d sizzled. But no matter when or how she’d thought about the man, heat was always involved.
Which was ridiculous. What kind of gentleman simply assumed the worst about a neighbor he’d never met and barged into their home? And, it had taken him far too long to tell her who he was and express his regret for thinking her the madam of a secret brothel. Even then she had her doubts whether it was a sincere apology.
She would never forget how he boldly took in every detail of her face as if taking a thorough inventory of something valuable before letting his gaze skim down her neck, across her breasts, and over her bare shoulders. Remembering it now, her breaths deepened. She’d never seen any man peruse her so openly and show such real, unadulterated appreciation of her beauty in his expression. A thrill of something akin to desire had raced through her.
It was unexpected and heady.
She was horrified that she’d slapped the earl. Not that he didn’t deserve it. He did. Invading the privacy of her drawing room. No matter that he thought he had good reason. Assuming she was … well. Suggesting he would like to … But neither of those things had disturbed her nearly as much as the fact that she’d thought about kissing him. That was where her true anger lay.
With herself.
How could she have even considered the possibility of his lips on hers? And why wouldn’t thoughts of him go away and leave her in peace as had every other man she’d seen and had discussions with since becoming a widow?
At night Lyonwood plundered her dreams. Every morning she’d sworn she wasn’t going to think about the dastardly earl anymore, and every day she’d failed.
Today would be different, she promised herself. She had reason to celebrate and be joyous with much more important and wonderful matters to occupy her mind than a brazen rogue. Except for a few minor details yet to be settled by their solicitor, Mr. Clements, everything about the school had been properly negotiated and signed. Even though she and her friends were now freer to carry out their own choices concerning every aspect of their lives than when they were married, it was still almost impossible for a lady to make her own business decisions without the aid of a male to negotiate for her. Thankfully, Mr. Clements was a young, forward-thinking man who’d allowed them to lead the way in how they wanted the school organized and managed.
The girls had arrived yesterday, and Julia and Brina would be joining her soon. The three of them were going over to the school together to welcome everyone.
Adeline stood in the small portion of her back garden that separated her house from the plain, white, three-story building that used to be a servants’ quarters. It had been quietly transformed into The Seafarer’s School for Girls. The name hadn’t been her choice, but now that she saw it written in small simple lettering posted over the entrance, she knew it was the right one. At first, Adeline thought it carried too many sad memories of the people lost in the sinking of the Salty Dove. Now, looking at the name, she saw it more as an honor to all the sailors and workers who went down with the ship. It showed how something good was coming from an event that had been so devastatingly horrific for so many.
She could have waited inside for her friends to arrive, but she was anxious to be out in the morning sunshine and underneath a rare flawless blue sky so early in the spring. There was something comforting and satisfying about it warming her shoulders and the back of her neck while the chilly air cooled her cheeks. It always gave her an inspiring feeling of renewal to see the trees and bushes budding with tiny bits of green after the last vestige of winter days had passed.
An errant wind fluttered across Adeline’s face, causing a few strands of hair to find freedom from the side of her wool-covered bonnet and tickle the side of her face. She continued to stare at the school sign and slowly, unbidden and unwelcomed, Adeline’s thoughts started clouding with memories of how the idea for the school took shape. It was as if her mind had been a void waiting to be filled with recollections that suddenly wouldn’t be shut out.
She wasn’t in London when news arrived that the Salty Dove had broken apart and gone down off the coast of Portugal in a ferocious storm that took the lives of almost everyone on board.
When Adeline heard her husband wasn’t among the few survivors, she was where she’d spent most of her married life, at Wake’s country estate in Sussex. She left for London immediately and took up residence in their Town house, which she realized had, in the blink of an eye, become her brother-in-law’s—the new Earl of Wake’s—house.
Over the next few weeks, he had gone about doing the things that were necessary for him to officially assume her husband’s title and possession of all its entailed properties. Adeline had begun to heal her body and spirit. The new earl and his wife were kind, insisting she stay with them during her mourning—the mourning that only she knew never took on the deep sorrow a wife should feel. She couldn’t find a place in her heart for that, but she understood and respected his family, friends, and others grieving over his loss. That was all she could do.
It was months after the ship sank that Adeline’s new, freer life truly began. She’d renewed her acquaintance with Lady Kitson Fairbright and met Mrs. Brina Feld. Their husbands had also lost their lives on the Salty Dove. Neither the place nor the reason for the widows meeting was a pleasant one, but she’d never forget that fateful afternoon. It was where the root of her idea for the girls’ school was planted.
Before that day, Adeline had never been anywhere near London’s docks. It wasn’t an area for ladies.
Unsettled swirls of fog had drifted in off the water. Nestled between the occasional distant squawk from a seabird were irreverent shouts and sometimes-raucous laughter from men working on lines, hulls, or decks of the boats and ships. She was close enough to hear the continuous clank of riggings tapping against wooden masts and water lapping at seawalls. The smells would be forever etched in her mind as well. Dank water, dead fish, and putrid waste were mixed with faint, vagrant traces of salted, muggy air.
A large square near the waterfront and down from the shipping channel had been chosen to display what few belongings had been recovered from the passengers aboard the Salty Dove. The items were lined up in rows, available for family members who wanted to wander through the collection and retrieve their loved one’s final possessions.
Adeline’s brother-in-law had asked her to join him for the heartrending but necessary task since she would know better than anyone what personal items her husband had with him on the voyage. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
She had learned early in her marriage that she didn’t know her husband at all. And the awkward truth was that he wasn’t a man she wanted to know or to mourn. She was grateful for the generous allowance he’d left for her, but she would never return to the estate where he’d forced her to live, and demanded to know day after day after day why she wasn’t in the family way. He didn’t seem to care that Adeline wanted a babe, too. A child would have given her someone to love.
Near the waterfront that sorrowful afternoon, the three widows were drawn together because none of them had the need to sift through the articles that had washed ashore. They couldn’t watch the few who did.
Off to the side and down the boardwalk, Adeline noticed another group of people huddled together. Mostly women and children. She heard gentle crying, sniffling, and softly spoken words from some of them. All were poorly dressed, but there seemed to be a special bond among them as they hugged, talked, and comforted one another.
Adeline found herself drawn to them because they seemed to be experiencing the true mourning she’d never felt for her husband. She overheard a red-haired, freckle-faced little girl asking, “Mum, what are we going to do now that Papa is gone?”
“I don’t know, my little one,” the mother had whispered desperately, brushing through the girl’s tangle of long, red curls with a shaking hand. “Ye know I don’t have a delicate hand when it comes to a stitch and that yer Papa was only being kind when he said I made the best bread he ever ate. I can find someone who’ll pay me a wage to clean their shop for ’em. Don’t worry yeself, lassie. I’ll find work somewhere.”
“I won’t worry, Mum. I’m big now. I’ll help take care of you now that Papa’s gone.”
Adeline watched the mother smile and then kiss the top of her young daughter’s head with dry, trembling lips. She hugged the little girl with such tightness, Adeline felt as if her own chest were being squeezed. The woman looked up and saw Adeline watching her. Tremendous anguish and deep confusion showed in the woman’s face, causing Adeline to wobble on her feet. That’s when she realized that death, grief, and fear respected no one. That’s when the first tears of loss rushed to her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. The woman gave her a comforting smile and a curtsy. Adeline was profoundly touched by the woman’s show of respect even while bearing the weight of her own immense tragedy.
Wanting to help ease her pain in some way, Adeline stopped a worker and asked about the small group. He told her they were the family members of the ship’s workers. They would be allowed to go through the belongings only after the members of Society had finished.
She spoke to her brother-in-law regarding the insensitivity of the rule, but he brushed aside her concerns about how unfair it was to make them watch and wait their turn to search for their loved ones’ possessions until after they had been picked over and disturbed by others. The new earl considered her anxiety a part of her grieving and suggested she wait in the carriage for him. That’s when Adeline knew she wanted to do something to help the wives, the daughters, and the sisters of the men who’d worked on the Salty Dove. At the time, she didn’t know what it would be, but with some thought she realized the best way to help the families was to educate and teach their girls a skill so they could one day earn a wage. There were boarding schools where boys were educated and learned skills. Why couldn’t there be one for girls, too? Learning to sew would be a respectable way for them to earn a living.
After coming to that conclusion, she hesitantly mentioned it to Julia and Brina. To her delight they were eager to be included. Like Adeline, neither was interested in marrying again, and they were intrigued by the idea of doing something more useful and worthy than simply reentering Society after their time of mourning ended.
It hadn’t been easy. None of it had. Not finding the place for the school or the families of the workers. Her solicitor, Mr. Clements, had been a tireless advocate from the moment she mentioned her plan to him. With more diligence than she ever expected, he secured the large property from an elderly gentleman named Mr. Bottles. The house had a separate building that had housed the servants. It was situated in the middle of a privately secluded cul-de-sac near the business section and not far from the park. Everything about it suited their needs perfectly for the school.
Mr. Bottles finally agreed to sell after they agreed to let him name the school. That was the easiest thing about starting the school. It took time to find the families, explain to them what the widows wanted to do, and talk them into allowing the girls to come live at the boarding school, a way of life that was usually made available only for boys. The girls would be taught to read and write as well as learn the seamstress trade. With Mr. Clements’ invaluable assistance, it had been accomplished. Adeline, Julia, and Brina realized they couldn’t help the families of all the workers on the Salty Dove who had perished that day. That task would have been impossible. But they could help some of their young daughters and sisters who would be nearing the age to learn a trade.
The nine girls who would be attending the school wouldn’t have to worry about not being prepared to find employment one day as had their mothers near the docks that foggy afternoon. They would be taught the differences between fine threads for sewing and embroidery and thicker threads for darning and knitting. They would learn the distinctive textures and costs of fabrics. The way to pleat, gather, and rush them. How to cut and sew them into clothing and draperies. Some would learn how to cover hats in a decorative fashion with feathers, beads, and ribbons while others would learn to make the delicate silk roses, fancy knitted lace, and perfect satin bows that decorate the gowns ladies of Polite Society wore. At the school, they would each be free to go in the direction their talents took them. Once they accomplished their skills and came of age, Adeline would see to it they gained employment at a reputable shop so they could earn a wage and help take care of themselves and their families.
“Lady Wake?”
Startled from her pensive thoughts, Adeline immediately knew that masculine voice coming from behind her. The earl. Despite her intentions to remain unaffected when she next encountered him, her heartbeat faltered. Her throat thickened. Her breaths became shallow and fast. Didn’t he know he was the last person she wanted to see again? Ever. He’d insulted her. Angered her. Caught her in a weak moment indulging in a young lady’s fantasy. Worst of all, he’d made her want to think about the actual possibility of warm embraces, sweet kisses, and soft touches.
Slowly, she turned. Her gaze fell on a wide chest and strong-looking shoulders covered by a crisp white shirt and neckcloth, dark green waistcoat, and chocolate brown coat. Lifting her lashes, her gaze rose up to the clean-shaven, handsome face of Lord Lyonwood, standing on his property just beyond the waist-high garden wall, staring intently at her. Oh, he was a splendid-looking man. Whoever invented the word dashing must have been looking at a painting of the earl. Yet, there was something more than just the build of his body or the handsomeness of his face that conveyed his strength. Something she sensed inside him that she couldn’t yet decipher.
It was maddening that just the sight of him made her think about being cuddled against his chest. And the intensity in his expression made her wonder if he might be sensing some of the same feelings that affected her.
Not that either of them wanted it. Adeline was dismayed he’d seen her so openly displaying her womanly longings, and though he’d hid it well that afternoon, she knew he must be angry that she’d slapped him even though she had just cause. It certainly wasn’t the sort of action anyone would welcome. But it was as if none of those things seemed to matter when they looked into each other’s eyes. The yearning for something more was there between them. She couldn’t deny it and had no idea what to do about it.
“What are you doing here?” she asked a little more abruptly than she’d intended, but he unsettled her in a way that made her wary.
“I came outside to see if you were all right.”
“Yes, of course,” she answered, her tone returning to normal. “You can see I am. That is, I was before you startled me. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” he said, walking closer to the withered vine-covered border between them. “That’s why I came out. I noticed you standing here and wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.”
It seemed strange hearing genuine concern in his voice and seeing it in his expression after their last meeting. There was a long moment of silence as each took in what the other had said. His eyes were as gray as she remembered. She tried to stop the fluttering in her chest with a deep breath, but it wouldn’t cease. When her gaze met his it was as if she couldn’t control her senses or feelings. Feathery wisps of sensual awareness curled through her and made her even more curious about him. It made her want to forget the disaster of their first meeting, especially his ungentlemanly behavior, and indulge in all the experiences her sensations offered.
“You can see, I’m perfectly fine,” she insisted softly. “What made you think there is anything wrong with someone standing alone in their garden on a beautiful spring day?”
“You hadn’t moved.”
She thought about that. “Really? I mean, surely not.”
“You’ve been in the same place, looking at the same spot for a very long time.”
He was watching her. For a fraction of a moment it seemed a heavenly thought that he was interested enough to do so, but her rational mind quickly returned. With it came the memories of when her husband had her monitored each day so she wouldn’t do anything strenuous. She hastily brushed aside those unpleasant feelings and asked, “How would you know that? Were you deliberately observing me, my lord?”
“Do you really think that?” he asked skeptically.
“Shouldn’t I? First you invade my home and now it appears you have been watching me in my garden.”
He grimaced for a moment or two and then his features relaxed into more of an amused expression. “You think I’ve been spying on you from afar?”
Did she?
“That’s what it sounds like to me,” she suggested, trying to sound outraged or at least serious, but wasn’t sure she had because her body and mind betrayed her again by thinking she wasn’t so sure she would have minded if it had been true. Confused by her own scandalous thoughts and irritated by his amusement over the idea of her assumption, she quipped, “I discovered the other afternoon the sort of things you are capable of doing, my lord, and they aren’t gentlemanly.”
“Let me put your mind at ease. No,” he said emphatically, placing the palm of his hands on the top of the wall and leaning toward her.
The strength of his grip on the stone communicated his message more than the words he spoke. Though he was still some distance from her, it was almost as if she felt his heat, caught his scent, and sensed his power as surely as she had when he held her front door shut and was so close his breath fluttered against her cheeks.
“What happened in your home was a regrettable error, Lady Wake, and I wasn’t watching you earlier. There was nothing intentional about noticing you standing so still for so long. Every morning I tie my neckcloth where I can see out the window to this section of your garden. It’s natural for me to look out.”
Adeline glanced over his shoulder in the direction of his house. The first and second floors could be seen clearly from where she was standing. Oh. She swallowed hard, believing his explanation.
After all, he was her neighbor. That wasn’t something that was going to change in the foreseeable future. It would be best if they forgot the past and were civil if not trusting of each other. He’d obviously made the first move toward that end by coming over to inquire about her well-being, and she would do the right thing and meet him halfway.
“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll remember that whenever I walk outside, my lord. And again, I’m perfectly fine and need no one checking on me when I’m in the garden enjoying the day.”
She’d had enough of being watched almost every moment of the day the two years she was married.
“Good. I’m glad to know it wasn’t a snake or a spider in a web that stopped you for so long,” he said with a twitch of a grin.
After a shiver at the thought of such creatures being in her path, and much to her consternation, Adeline gave a hint of a smile, too. That seemed to satisfy him.
“I’ll leave you to enjoy your morning in the fresh air.” He nodded and turned away. Adeline looked down at the pathway and then scoured the air space in front of her for any telltale signs of a web.
Maybe the earl was a beast after all, and he was certainly one who knew her fears.