The cottage.
Off-stage sounds of a storm.
Soaking wet, Gareth is wearing civilian clothes and a baseball hat. He puts the hat on the hook.
Menna, wearing gloves, is pacing around soaking wet also.
Gareth What’s all this about? In this weath – have you got a towel?
Menna indicates a towel, Gareth towels his hair and sits down.
Gareth You’re soaked / too.
Menna Had to walk to the phone box. Where’s your stuff?
Gareth What / stuff?
Menna Uniform / all that stuff.
Gareth I was in my / pyjamas.
Menna I thought you’d come with all your stuff.
Gareth Why? You said it was an emergency?
Menna A police emergency.
Gareth I got here as quick as I can.
Beat.
So.
Beat.
Menna Will you, will you, arrest my Mam?
Gareth What for?
Menna You said it was against the law, to help Iola well they plan to help each other. They’re both going to do it, so I want you to arrest them both. It’s a crime you said. Assisted.
Beat.
I can, testify. They plan to commit a crime you need to arrest them both.
Gareth There’s nothing I can do to stop them.
Menna You can arrest them.
Gareth sits down.
Gareth This; isn’t a police thing.
Beat.
If you can’t persuade / them then I’ve …
Menna I’ve never persuaded my Mam to do anything.
Beat.
Please?
Beat.
So that’s / it then?
Gareth They’re not going to listen / to me.
Menna They will if you arrest / them.
Gareth I am not arresting two women in their seventies.
Beat.
Why don’t you take them home? Peter’s in all day; he can keep an eye on them.
Beat.
You need to be a bit more, delicate about stuff.
Menna Really.
Gareth I’m just saying.
Menna No, thanks that’s good advice.
Menna goes to a box and pulls out some crockery.
Gareth You’re welcome.
Menna Eirwen made Mam some casseroles, here’s the plate.
Gareth I can get them another –
Menna drops it on the floor so it smashes.
Menna Take it now.
Gareth What are you doing?
Menna goes back to the box and pulls out another dish.
Menna Showing my appreciation.
Gareth startles towards her.
Menna Don’t you come near me.
Stepping back Menna holds the crockery in the air.
You …
Menna holds the crockery threateningly.
Gareth Men?
Menna What kind of people see an old lady get hit by a poker, and don’t tell anyone about it?
Gareth Well.
Menna What’s the matter with you?
Gareth It’s not as simple / as that
Menna Yes it is simple! / You pick up the phone.
Gareth She didn’t tell me / for ages.
Menna Why didn’t she tell you? / Isn’t she the biggest gossip around?
Gareth We’re not together anymore. Okay?
With crockery over her head Menna lowers it.
We’re sort of; not … Doctor Matthews told me about the poker so.
Menna You’re not together?
Gareth We sort of are. She’s still living at home. She’s started seeing someone else; / from church.
Menna I don’t understand.
Gareth Hoping it’s just a fling.
Menna You’re still living together?
Gareth I don’t know Men. Hoping it’ll fizzle out. That was a good dish / that was. Deep, for …
Menna My Mam wants to kill herself!
Pause.
My Mam wants to kill herself.
To deflect the silence, Gareth gets his hip flask out and takes a swig.
Menna Who is it?
Gareth The fucking organist.
Silence.
There’s a joke there somewhere about the size of his organ and mine but …
Gareth exhales.
Silence.
I don’t know. She’s so nice about it. And thoughtful. It doesn’t seem so bad. I think it’s just a little. Funny little thing and / it’ll go away.
Menna She’s a fucking …
Menna is exasperated.
Gareth She still cooks and we eat together, most nights. Pretty much the same. It’s not too bad really. It’s not as if, I don’t see her.
Beat.
Sometimes, we watch ‘Strictly’ together.
Beat.
Gets us chatting.
Beat.
That and the dog.
And it seems like it’s fine really. You know.
Beat.
And then I go to work, and I see some. I see some horrible. I see some really sad stuff you know? People’s homes burned, stuff like that. It’s really sad. I’ll get a call, like someone’s home has burned and, find myself, sort of looking forward to it.
He takes another swig.
Can’t all be like you and Peter.
Menna He’s not. He’s not easy to live with.
Gareth He’s not shagging a fucking choir leader is he?
Pause.
Menna No, he wouldn’t do that.
Gareth Exactly.
Menna He couldn’t.
Gareth Because he’s got an ounce of decency that’s why.
Menna Every couple of months, he’ll gather up our clothes in an oil drum in the garden and set fire to them. And I watch from the kitchen. He burns my clothes, that’s how scared he is of germs. He could never have an affair.
Waves gloves.
This is him.
Beat.
Forgotten what clothes I like. I just look at price tags.
Beat.
Spend a fortune on bleach.
Gareth Fucking hell.
Menna He’s so scared of contaminating me, he never touches me, ever. That’s how I know he loves me. He can’t leave the house, even when I had Iola’s letter and I was going out of my mind, he said; ‘I’ll hold the fort’.
Long pause.
You know what? I can’t be fucking bothered.
Gareth offers his hip flask to Menna who takes a swig from it.
Gareth You want to get a dog. Down the beach with the dog, nothing better.
Menna We were there today. Got the pair of them to play hopscotch.
Gareth Bet that was interesting.
Menna It was.
Beat.
Couldn’t stop thinking; I was watching them hop scotching and I couldn’t stop thinking even if Iola dies; at least I’ve had a break.
Gareth So; shall I go home and get my handcuffs?
Menna laughs. Gareth pats her thigh and takes a swig of his whisky.
Keep, buggering on.
She sees his hat on the hook. She picks it up and presses it to his chest.
Menna Go home Gareth.
Beat.
Gareth Yeah.
He hangs his head and looks at his shoes.
I don’t want to.
Menna gives him a kiss on the cheek and Gareth pulls her tight to him for a hug.
He holds her tightly before letting her go.
Gareth wipes his tears, puts his hat back on and exhales loudly as he tries to gather himself.
He takes a moment; straightens himself and heads back into the storm.
Menna stands alone – with a new purpose.
Blackout.