A few days later, I was lying on my bed with Domino curled up on my feet. I was in the middle of a really good book, when Mum came into my room.
‘Sorry for disturbing you, darling,’ she said. ‘But I’m doing some baking, and I’ve run out of organic quinoa. Would you mind running down to the shop for me, please?’
I wanted to argue, but there was no point. Arguing with my mum is a total waste of time – she always has an answer for everything I say.
I got up from my bed and stroked Domino. ‘Won’t be long,’ I said. ‘Keep the bed warm for me.’
‘Thanks, love,’ said Mum as she handed me the money. ‘And it’s cold outside – be sure to wear your coat and scarf.’
‘But Mum ……’
My mum can move like lightning when she wants to. Before I could finish the sentence, she’d opened my wardrobe, pulled out my jacket, and found the scarf that I’d hidden under a heap of old school-books. She wrapped the scarf round and round my neck like she was wrapping up a wriggly human present.
‘There,’ she said. ‘Now put on your jacket and you’ll be ready for anything.’
I loosened the scarf in an effort to breathe. It was the scarf Mum had knitted for my thirteenth birthday, and I have to admit, it was soft and warm. It was also brown and ugly. Worst of all, that scarf was like a Melissa-magnet. Every time I wore it, she showed up as if by magic, all ready to give me a hard time for having a mother who wants to save the world.
As soon as I had put on my jacket, Mum pushed me towards the door.
‘Off you go,’ she said. ‘Organic quinoa, don’t forget.’
* * *
I made it all the way to the shop and most of the way home without meeting anyone. I was starting to feel confident as I came up to the last corner before my road. Two more minutes and then I’d be safely back on my bed with my cat and my book.
And then I heard it.
‘Hey, Megan, how’s it going?’
I recognised the voice before I turned around.
Melissa.
Why hadn’t I run all the way home?
Why wasn’t Alice with me?
Why was I wearing the ugly scarf?
‘Hey, Melissa,’ I said, as I continued to walk towards the safety of my home. ‘I’d love to chat, but I’ve got to bring this stuff home for my mum. I’ve got to––’
But Melissa put her hand on my arm, stopping me.
‘Before you go,’ she said. ‘There’s something I …’
Reluctantly I turned around to face her.
‘That’s the scarf your mum made for your birthday, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘It looks totally––’
Suddenly I didn’t want her to finish. It was like my brain was a pinball machine and all Melissa’s old insults were rattling around inside it, making me feel sick and dizzy. I had to make her be quiet.
‘Stop right there, Melissa,’ I said. ‘Don’t say another word – not a single, solitary word. You’ve been picking on me and insulting me for years and years, and now I’ve had enough. I don’t care what you think about me, or my mum or my clothes, or … anything. I’m not going to let you bully me any more. It’s over. Forever. Now, you should probably close your mouth, I think you might need a licence to catch flies around here.’
Melissa slowly closed her mouth and stared at me like she’d never seen me before. In a way, she hadn’t ever seen me before. She’d only ever seen the scared Megan, the one who wasn’t brave enough to stand up to her. I smiled to myself. I liked the all-new Megan.
‘So anyway, Melissa,’ I said. ‘Sorry for interrupting you. What were you going to say about my scarf?’
‘Actually,’ she said. ‘I was going to say that it looks totally soft and warm.’
Now it was my turn to be speechless. ‘I’m not sure I believe you,’ I said, when I finally found my tongue.
She gave a big sigh. ‘It’s the truth, but I don’t blame you for not believing me. I know I’ve been kind of mean to you in the past.’
‘Kind of mean?’
‘OK,’ she said with a small smile. ‘I’ve been totally mean. I think I’ve worked out why, but I’m not sure I can explain it properly.’
I was confused.
Was she playing some kind of mean trick on me?
Or was my timing all wrong?
Just when I was learning how to to cope with the old, mean Melissa, why had this new, nice one shown up?
What was going on?
I needed time to think. I put the organic quinoa down on the wall next to us, and folded my arms, trying to look like I was calm, like I was in control.
‘So go ahead,’ I said. ‘Give it your best shot. See if you can explain why you’ve been picking on me ever since you’ve known me.’
Melissa took a deep breath. ‘It’s just that … I think … you see … and I know this sounds kind of weird … but … I’ve always been kind of … jealous … of you.’
I was wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, when I realised that she hadn’t been joking. She was standing there, patting her shiny hair and looking as confused as I felt.
‘I don’t get why that’s so funny,’ she said.
‘You jealous of me?’ was all I could say.
‘Yes,’
‘But that’s crazy. What exactly were you jealous of?’
‘It started years and years ago, when we were little kids,’ she said. ‘When your mum used to wait outside the school for you every afternoon.’
I remembered those days. Mum used to stand right outside the school gate, and when I came out, she’d run towards me and hug me like she hadn’t seen me for six months. Even though I was tiny, I used to be totally embarrassed.
‘Your mum always looked so happy to see you,’ she said. ‘Like you were perfect. Like you were the centre of the universe. Mostly, I was picked up from school by a babysitter.’
‘Yeah, but your mum had a job. She probably found it hard to get away in the middle of the day.’
Melissa shook her head sadly. ‘Lots of the other mums had jobs, but still they found time to come to the school. Mine was the only one who never showed up.’
‘But I remember your mum coming to pick you up one time,’ I said. ‘She had a briefcase and a laptop and she looked like someone important. I think that was the same day that my mum was in such a hurry, she’d forgotten to take her apron off. It was totally embarrassing.’
‘Occasionally my mum did come,’ admitted Melissa. ‘When she had a day off from work. But when that happened she was usually late, and we had to run all the way home, so she could ready for some really important meeting. I always felt like I’d messed up her day, just by needing to be picked up.’
‘Oh.’ I couldn’t think of anything else to say to that.
‘And when you were little, your mum always had some special treat for you. I often heard her say, ‘Look Megan. I’ve brought you a surprise.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Those treats were never a big deal. It was usually a bird’s feather or a sugar-free cookie, or a chopped-up carrot or something pathetic like that.’
‘Maybe,’ said Melissa. ‘But those treats were for you. Your mum had brought them especially for you.’
All of a sudden I remembered the heart-shaped stone my mum had given me one afternoon. It was still on the locker next to my bed. It’s not exactly pretty or useful, but I like knowing that it’s there. For the first time, I could see where Melissa was coming from.
She leaned across and touched my scarf. ‘I remember the first day I saw this scarf,’ she said.
‘I remember that day too. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. You mocked me and said it looked like a snake.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just that …… my birthday had been the day before. My mum was in London on business and it was very late that night when she called me. I think she’d forgotten until then that it even was my birthday. The next day, a courier showed up with a dress for me. It was really expensive and pretty, but it was completely the wrong size – I think Mum might have sent her assistant out to buy it or something. And then I heard Alice saying that your mum had knitted you a scarf, and I thought about how long that must have taken her.’
‘Not that long really – she’s a really fast knitter – and she doesn’t get out much.’
‘Whatever. She did it for you. She made you something special, and my mum …… well my mum would never, ever do something like that.’
‘Oh,’ I said again.
‘And your mum is forever doing amazing things for you,’ she said. ‘Like the welcome home banner she made for you when you were in Lanzarote with Grace.’
‘You saw that?’
Melissa smiled. ‘Everyone saw that. It was there for most of the week. I think your mum put it up half an hour after Lorna and Eddie picked you up to bring you to the airport.’
‘That’s totally embarrassing,’ I said.
‘Maybe it is a bit,’ said Melissa. ‘But mostly it’s cute. It was really sweet of her to make that banner for you. It shows how much she loves you.’
‘Your mum loves you too,’ I said, hoping it was true.
‘I know she does,’ she said. ‘It’s just that she’s not very good at showing it – and that’s kind of a problem.’
I felt sorry for Melissa, but I still didn’t understand what she was saying. How did all this explain why she felt it was OK to bully me?
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘But what’s all this got to do with me?’
‘I think I gave you a hard time – because I felt so bad. I know it’s stupid but it was like, if I couldn’t be happy, then I didn’t want you to be happy either. Can you understand?’
I thought I could. Mum always says that when someone does a mean thing, it says more about them than it says about you.
‘And then there was Alice,’ said Melissa.
‘What about Alice? What’s she got to do with this?’
‘I’ve never had a friend like Alice. Every time I saw you two together, it made me feel bad about myself.’
‘But in primary school you had lots of friends.’
She shook her head. ‘They weren’t real friends. Mostly they just hung out with me because they were afraid I’d thump them if they didn’t.’
‘But …’ I stopped when I remembered that Grace had said pretty much the same thing.
‘You and Alice have this perfect best-friend thing going on,’ she said. ‘It’s like, no matter what happens, she’s got your back, and you’ve got hers. And I was totally jealous of that.’
I tried to imagine life without Alice, but I couldn’t.
‘And the other day, you and Alice and Grace did that really, really nice thing for me. Because of you, I won’t be going back to boarding school in September. And it was so kind, and I’m so grateful, but I feel totally bad too, because I’ve always only ever done mean stuff to you.’
Maybe I should have argued, but how could I? Everything she said was true.
‘I’m really, really sorry, Megan,’ she said. ‘Can you forgive me?’
I looked at her for a long time before answering.
She was the girl I’d hated for years.
She was the girl who’d made my life a misery.
She was pretty and cool, and her clothes were so nice, and thinking about her being jealous of me was just weird.
‘Sure,’ I said in the end. ‘It’s fine. Everything’s just fine.’
Melissa gave a little squeal and then she leaned forward and hugged me. Her hair brushed against my face. It was totally soft, and it smelled like coconut and lemons.
OMG! I thought. I’m hugging Melissa.
And I couldn’t quite make up my mind if it was a dream or a nightmare.