Patience knocked on my door the next morning.
“Care to go for a walk?” she asked. Patience didn’t like winter and usually wanted to sit in front of the fireplace when she visited. I thought it odd that she wanted to be outside in the wind and cold.
“Certainly,” I replied. She waited in the doorway while I threw a long cloak over my shoulders.
She hooked her arm in mine while we walked. I finally asked her why she didn’t want to stay in my house where the fire was burning.
“I suppose I’m feeling restless today,” she replied, casting a long sideways glance at me.
“Patience, tell me the truth. Something is wrong and you don’t want to share it with me. But really, you do want to discuss it, or else you wouldn’t have asked me to go walking with you in this frigid weather.”
Patience sighed. “You’re right, Sarah. I don’t want to tell you what I’ve learned, but I have to.” She lowered her voice. “It’s about Captain Eli.”
Immediately all my senses were alert. My breathing quickened. “What about the captain?” I asked, pressing her arm a bit more tightly against my side.
“Father overheard Captain Eli talking to men down by the water. He said the captain was filled with drink, his lips flapping. He was in quite a state, according to Father, and he was talking about your mother and father.”
It took all my power, but I remained still. My voice quiet, I asked, “What did he say about them?”
“He said that your mother didn’t know enough to come with him when he asked her to go. He said he was a better man than your father.” My fists curled when I heard what the old man had said about my father.
But those men at the tavern had been right. Captain Eli had asked my mother to go with him somewhere.
“Where did he ask her to go?” My voice betrayed my frantic thoughts.
“I’m not sure, exactly,” Patience replied. She looked at me sadly. “I wish I knew.”
“What else did he say?” I asked, exasperated.
“Like I said, he was drunk,” Patience said, as if warning me not to give credence to what she was about to say. “But there was one interesting thing he said before my father had to leave to go to the tanner’s. The captain said that the moment your mother refused him, he was seized with such a rage that he could easily have killed her.”
“What? So did he hurt her? Did he kill her? Refused him what? I can’t bear this, Patience!” My voice had risen several notes and my breath came quickly. It seemed less and less likely that a chance encounter with wolves had been responsible for my mother’s disappearance. I buried my face in my cold hands, dropping Patience’s arm from my side.
“We’ll figure it out, Sarah. We’ll talk to Captain Eli when he’s not been drinking and we’ll demand to know what he was talking about.”
“And how are we going to do that? What could he possibly have meant?” I asked, now wringing my hands.
“My father asked him what he meant, but he just shook his head and kept talking to the other men. Sarah, it’s possible that he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Father says the captain has been declining from drink. But he’ll ask him again, of that you can be sure.”
I can’t be sure of that, but I can be sure of one thing. I am going to find out what happened to Mamma, even if it means seeking out Captain Eli and confronting him by myself.
Patience took my hand in hers. “I probably should have waited to tell you what Captain Eli said until I had more information, but I thought you would want to know.”
“I appreciate that, Patience. Thank you.”
“What will you do now?” she asked.
“I’m going to talk to a friend to see if he can find any more information.”
“What friend is this?”
“His name is Richard. He was present when my father passed. You must have seen him at my house when you arrived that night. He’s helping me to find out what happened to Mamma. He is … he knows certain people who might be able to give us more information.”
“Be careful around him, Sarah. He looked disreputable to me.”
I chuckled for the first time in what seemed like days. “I’m being careful, I promise. He’s not disreputable. Really. I trust him.”
“Very well, as long as you’re sure,” Patience said with a sigh. “Now that I’ve told you what I know and I’m far less anxious, shall we turn around? I’m frozen.”
“Yes. Let’s go back to my house. It’s almost noonday and you can eat dinner with me. I still haven’t gotten used to cooking for just one person, so I have too much food.”
We turned around and went back home, where the room was warm and comfortable. Patience sighed as she walked through the door. “Ah. This is much better than being outside.”
We ate dinner together while she told me that her mother was starting to show signs of improved health. She was holding the baby now, which she had refused to do for several days. She was also getting out of bed and helping Patience prepare meals for the family. Patience was thrilled with her mother’s progress, not just because she wanted her mother to be well, but because she was ready for some help taking care of the house, the meals, and the rest of the family. When she was ready to go back home, I went to the apothecary and gave her some herbs I had read about in the physick book that were supposed to help in healing.
She left with a promise to see me again at the church service on Sunday. I spent the rest of the afternoon working in the apothecary and reading the physick book. I was finding more and more useful information that I hoped to put to use as patients came in.
The next day I went into the village early in the morning in the hope of seeing Richard. I wanted to talk to him about the things Patience had discussed with me. I didn’t want to go as far as the bay and set tongues wagging about why I might be there again after having been told so many times not to go there by myself, so I lingered on the street closest to the water until I decided Richard was not going to show himself that day. When I returned to the house, I found two people waiting for me at the apothecary door.
When I had provided them with a remedy for sores inside the mouth and a cough, I was surprised to find two more people coming into the shop. And so it continued throughout the day, with a trickle of customers that left me pleasantly busy and thankful that people weren’t staying away because a woman was the apothecary now.
I tried going into the village even earlier the following day. I had a strong sense that Richard might know what to do with the information Patience had given me, so I needed to find him. And this time I saw him leaving the tanner’s shop, long before anyone else was about on the street.
“Richard!” I called, hastening to catch up with him. He turned around and looked at me, his eyebrows raised. His eyes darted this way and that, and I realized he probably didn’t want anyone to know he had been at the tanner’s shop.
“I’m sorry for calling your name aloud,” I said when I caught up to him.
“That’s all right,” he replied. “You see, the arrangement I have with the tanner is similar to the one I had with your father and now with you, so I do much of my business with him when people aren’t around.”
I lowered my voice. “My friend Patience told me something interesting about Captain Eli and I wanted to relay it to you.” I waited for him to respond, because I was sure he didn’t want to discuss Captain Eli out on the streets of Cape Island.
“Come with me,” he said, taking my elbow and leading me away from the tanner. He didn’t say anything else until we were standing on a plot of land at the end of the street, a goodly distance away from any other buildings and where we could see any people who might be coming toward us from any direction.
“This is fine,” he said. “No one to overhear us. So tell me. What did your friend have to say?”
I repeated my conversation with Patience while Richard listened, nodding his head once in a while and not interrupting.
“And you have no idea what the captain might have been talking about?” Richard asked when I had finished. I shook my head in reply.
“Let me think about this, Sarah. Maybe I can gather more information.”
“I would be very grateful,” I said.
“I will be in touch with you. Now, it won’t do to have a young lady such as yourself seen with a rogue like me, so let us go away separately. I will go to the bay, and you go that way,” he pointed to the west, “to get back to your house. Are you all right by yourself?”
“Certainly. And thank you, Richard.”
To my great surprise, he reached down and took my hand lightly in his. He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it gently, then bowed toward me. I turned around and practically fled toward my house, not daring to look back to see if he was watching me go. My hand tingled where he had kissed it. I was not accustomed to such a feeling—I had certainly never felt anything of the sort when I was with Arthur.
I finally slowed my pace when I was no longer in sight of the village. I directed my steps toward home, but I was barely conscious of where my feet were taking me, so lost was I in my own confused thoughts.
By the time I was home I had talked some sense into myself. Of course Richard had kissed my hand. That was something gentlemen did in parting. It was ridiculous to have such fanciful thoughts about it. The tingling had probably been nothing more than my freezing skin. But then, it hadn’t tingled before he kissed me …
It was with great impatience that I waited to hear from Richard with news of Captain Eli. I couldn’t be still. In the apothecary I rearranged bottles and packages I had already organized. In the main room of the house I swept the already-clean floor. In the bedchamber I washed the bed linens that were already clean. I tried reading the physick book, but I couldn’t concentrate long enough to retain anything I was supposed to be learning.
Finally I could stay at home no longer. I prepared a basket with bread, cheese, and a few packets of herbs and set off toward Widow Beall’s house. It had been a while since I had heard news of her, and I wanted to make sure she and her children were well. I shuddered to think she might be too embarrassed to ask for help if she could not afford remedies for sickness or injury.
When I arrived at Widow Beall’s house, she and all her children came to the door to greet me. She seemed pleased to have a visitor, and after I had handed the basket to the children to look through, she shooed them away and invited me to sit down. She poured tea for both of us and we sat talking.
She told me of different times my father had been kind enough to help her, and she even spoke to me about her memories of my mother. Though I would rather not have talked about either of my parents, it seemed to bring her joy to remember them to me.
“Why, I even remember the day your mother—” she began, but there was a loud knock on the front door. “Excuse me, Sarah. I don’t get a visitor for weeks, and suddenly I have two!” I sat in front of the fire, gazing into my tea, when I heard raised voices. I jumped up and ran to the door.
To my great surprise, Captain Eli stood in the doorway. He was listing to one side, his eyes unfocused, and Widow Beall was giving him a talking-to.
“You know better than to come to my front door with your dirty clothes and your dirty mind and your filthy habits. Now go on back to Town!” She slammed the door as he turned around, but not before he saw me inside and opened his mouth as if to say something.
She turned to me. “I’m sorry about that, Sarah. He’s drunk as a sot.”
“Is he bothering you, Widow? We should report him to the authorities.”
“No, my dear. Let him be. He’s a harmless old fool, but I don’t want him in my house.”
I had the sense that I need not worry about Widow Beall. She was a strong woman.
“He scares me,” I said. I hadn’t meant to say anything, but the words escaped my mouth.
“And rightly so,” she said, ushering me back to the table where our tea was getting cold. I glanced at her, wondering if she was going to elaborate.
“I miss your mother, Sarah. Do you know how much you look like her?” The widow looked out the window at something far away that I couldn’t see. She sat that way for several long moments, then turned her attention back to me. “And because you look like your dear mother, I’m afraid the old captain might get some unseemly ideas.”
My hand went to my throat and I was keenly aware of every sound in the house. I stared at the widow, waiting for her to continue. She looked at me sadly.
“Captain Eli is always influenced by drink. And he spews hatred and lies, which is why I’m going to tell you something.”
I held my breath, still waiting.
“The captain had a dark obsession with your mother, Sarah. I know it because I’ve heard him talk about her many times.”
“What kind of obsession? Did he hate her? Did he love her?”
“I rather think it ran to lust, if you want the truth.”
I blushed. I couldn’t bear to think my mother might have been the subject of Captain Eli’s lusty thoughts. The very idea of it was enough to bring waves of nausea washing over me. I gripped the armrests of my chair.
“I know this isn’t womanly talk, but I think you deserve to know how miserable the captain can be. I would hate to see his ugly obsession turn its attention to you.”
“I thank you for telling me, Widow. I should be … I think I should be going.”
“Now, don’t you worry about what I said. I don’t think the old man has the gall to bother you, with you being so young and all. You just make sure your doors are locked up tight at night.”
“I will, Widow, I promise.”
“And you let me know if you need any help.” She laughed. “I do believe the old man is afraid of me.”
“Thank you, Widow. I’ll let you know if I need help.”
I walked home briskly, checking behind me every so often to make sure Captain Eli wasn’t in the vicinity.
I was mending later that afternoon when there was a knock on the door. I jumped, upsetting the mending basket and dropping my needle on the floor. I walked slowly to the door while the person outside knocked again. My throat was dry and my hands sweating.
“Who is it?”
“Richard.”
A flood of relief washed over me. I slid the bolt aside and opened the door to let him in.
He looked at me and immediately I could see the concern in his eyes. “Are you all right, Sarah?”
“Yes. I feared someone else might be at the door.”
“Who?”
“The captain.”
“Eli?”
I nodded. “The widow told me today that she fears he might turn his dark attentions to me because I look so much like my mother.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I started gathering up the things that had spilled from my mending basket while I talked. I didn’t want him to see my face. “He said, that is, he felt, uh … inappropriate things about my mother.”
Richard nodded, seeming to understand what I was talking about.
“Has he come near you again?”
“No. But I visited the widow today at her house and he called on her while I was there.”
Richard frowned. “What did he say?”
“I didn’t hear him, but I heard her yelling at him to go away.” I smiled at the memory. “He did as she told him.”
Richard chuckled. “He needs to hear that more often.”
“Especially after talking to her, I am convinced he had something to do with Mamma’s disappearance. ‘Obsession’ was the word the widow used to describe the captain’s feelings toward my mother.”
“And you look like her? In that case, you need to be especially careful about bolting the doors when you’re not in the house or the apothecary.”
“I will, Richard.”
He stared at me for a moment, smiling.
I found myself squirming under his intense gaze, so I asked him, “What brings you here today?”
He frowned again. “I’ve heard something that I believe I need to share with you.” His voice sounded ominous.
“What is it?”
“I had occasion to speak with one of the captain’s old mates. He mentioned a place where Captain Eli used to meet certain women,” Richard said. He shifted on the stool, not meeting my eyes.
“What women?” I asked. Then realization dawned on me and I gasped. “Captain Eli? With women like that?”
“I’m afraid so,” Richard said. “The man I spoke to did not know where Captain Eli took the women, but I gathered it wasn’t far from here.”
“I can’t believe there are women like that in Town or anywhere on the cape!” I exclaimed.
“There are women like that everywhere,” Richard said. “Some of them have no other way to support themselves.”
I hadn’t thought of those women that way. I nodded, ashamed of having passed judgment on them. “How awful,” I murmured.
A terrifying thought seized me and I gave a start. “Richard, you don’t think anyone believes my mother was a woman like that, do you?” I could hear my heart’s anguish in my words.
“No, not at all,” he said in a soothing voice. “Your mother was a well-respected woman. We need to learn more about the captain and I would like to be able to find this place the men talked about.”
“I have no idea where it could be,” I said, raising my hands and letting them fall back into my lap.
“I’ll see if I can gather any more information. In the meantime, stay alert to any mention of a place that might be useful to the captain for such purposes.”
“I will. Thank you, Richard.”
“I wish I could be of more help to you, Sarah. I hope we are able to solve the mystery of your mother’s disappearance before I set sail.”
Before he sets sail? “Do you know when that will be?” I asked, my heart giving a little jump.
“I do not have the exact date, but it will not be long now.”
I saw him to the door and opened it for him. He stepped out into the cold, then turned back. I gave him a questioning look and he responded by reaching for my chin and bending his head toward mine. He tilted my chin upward and kissed my lips ever so lightly. I was astonished, but not so much that I pulled away. My toes tingled and my heart thumped in a wild rhythm. When he straightened up he smiled.
“I hope I haven’t offended you.”
“Not at all.” I was more breathless than I would like to have admitted.
“I have grown very fond of you, Sarah. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, but I didn’t want to do it before you made your decision about helping me with the medicine chest. I didn’t want it to influence you in any way.”
I nodded, still trying to catch my breath. I had never felt like that before, even when Arthur asked for my hand in marriage. It was a strange, delightful feeling.
He walked down our path toward the road, his hands swinging jauntily at his side. He turned to wink at me and I waved to him, then shut the door. I felt like I was flying as I bustled around the room, trying to find something to keep me busy. My hands were shaking, but not from fear or nerves. They were shaking with happiness, a happiness such as I had never known.