part0009

So, we understand that we have these abilities, but how do we learn to control our sensitivities? We will go through theories and techniques to learn how to understand and control our empathic abilities because we don't harness them until we learn to manage them. To learn to control your abilities, you need to know where your problems are coming from, your most vulnerable moments, and how you can become stronger in navigating your mental landscape. Successfully confronting your weaknesses and basic needs will give you unshakable resilience and a solid foundation for your abilities.

You must take control of your mind and emotions by understanding them. You must understand that emotions are clues of our internal landscape. All our prior life experiences shape this inner landscape and, in turn, affect and form our ideas and feelings.

As a trained empath, my first reaction is not to react in rage or squash down the anger if someone says something to make me angry. I ask myself questions: why am I mad? Am I hurt because of his opinion of me? And why should I care about his opinion?

You begin to shape and understand your internal and emotional landscape when you can take your time and find sincere, non-judgmental answers to those questions. We can reason and intentionally choose our actions.

It is your responsibility to know yourself genuinely. We must be very vigilant, as empaths who pick up others' emotions from time to time. We must understand what makes us tick and understand ourselves deeply to act peacefully and objectively. To have a better self-understanding, sincere self-examination and meditation are required.

Make out a moment you will have no distractions, where you can have privacy. This meditation will become faster and come more naturally to you as you practice it. With time, you can start doing it before or after moments of stresses to help you act objectively instead of just reacting. Now, close your eyes and breathe deeply.

Allow the darkness behind your eyelids and coolness of the air you breathe calm your mind. What exactly are you feeling now at this moment? What feelings and emotions float to the surface of your consciousness? Tease apart the tangled emotions that are normal for most people and do not let it stress you out.

Remember that you're not here to judge yourself or regret; instead, you're here to look at who you are and what you can become. Examine your emotions as you would the clear evening sky. What's in there? There will likely be one or two emotions that pull your attention, allow yourself to be drawn, and sift through them.

Examine if any physical sensation like tightness in your throat or chest is associated with those nagging feelings. Are there any memories associated with these feelings? Remember to relax and keep breathing deeply as you continue to explore your mind.

Next, go a little deeper - what sparked those emotions, and why are you feeling them right now? It could be something specific. Do not judge yourself. Merely trace the source of the feelings. What is this emotional reaction based on? Our emotions are often responses to our fundamental needs that are either filled or not.

Has someone challenged a fundamental belief? Are you feeling boxed in OR insecure somewhere? How can you stabilize the need if the emotion comes from a lack or need? Make a note of everything you've learned and give yourself time to feel and recognize your emotions.

With more practice, you will start to understand yourself in a new way and will be able to take control of how you react to situations based on subtle signs your mind and body give you.

This meditation is for unbiased self-understanding to help shape your actions in the future. You have to make this meditation a routine and learn to do it efficiently so that you can be able to identify if an emotion you feel out of nowhere is rooted in your psyche or if it belongs to someone else. This is the first step you should take in the process of separating your emotions from those around you.

As you have taken the first step by understanding your emotions, it's time to step up your progress. Empaths give too much space to other people's emotions, sometimes at the expense of their energies. To avoid depleting your energy stores, you need well-defined boundaries. Boundaries are rules or fence lines set up to protect yourself sensibly.

They may apply to different people differently, and they are often emotional lines you set that say what you will and won't allow. You have to learn to communicate without guilt the energy you are taking up and make sure you choose intentionally the emotions and mental energies you dole out. This is not only satisfying but will help you avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed, depleted, and exhausted.

Creating boundaries is not only a matter of mental discipline. It also entails you being aware of yourself. Knowing the limits of your energy, you can give out without hurting your own emotions. The 'know yourself' exercise is one of the key ways to bring this self-awareness to your body.

Imagine going to work and forgetting to lock your doors and windows. Anyone can enter. When you leave the door to your emotions unguarded and unlocked as an empath, you give room to all sorts of negative energies that will continue to drain and overwhelm you.

To experience someone else's direct experiences without training and control may result in abandoning your sense of self and your boundaries. You have to bring awareness to your body through meditation, exercises, affection, and self-care. Get to know who you are and feel rooted and confident in your own space. This will help you build healthy boundaries with those around you and avoid emotional noise, abuse, and exploitation.

Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths to relax, and focus on the space inside yourself, between the molecules in your body. Expand that space in every direction - expand the atoms in your body and fill your entire body with it. Continue growing, fill the room you are in, continue to fill the building, then your town. Continue expanding and fill your country, then the whole earth.

Continue this expansion until you fill the solar system and the entire universe. Just expand, breathe, and don't hold onto anything; stay here as long as you like while not holding on to anything to keep sensing what is there. You will notice a sensation of matter stuck between the spaces as you expand.

They may be physical or emotional such as the tension between your eyebrows or in your lungs or a feeling of stress or distraction. Slowly breathe into these areas of pressure and gradually let anything stuck inside you dissolve and float away. Slowly come back together, ensuring you remain aware of yourself both physically and emotionally.

Take one last deep breath and exhale slowly, pushing any emotional debris you might feel outside of your skin or aura off into the air.

I know from experience that empathic ability can be stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting, but the gift is not the problem. Pain is a symptom of a problem that needs to be fixed, and if you stop the pain, it doesn't solve the problem; it only hides it.

Many empaths regularly resort to cleansing their aura, successfully treating the symptoms instead of the cause. While it can make you feel better, it's not all that you can do. Meditations like 'emotional spring cleaning' should be done when necessary and are a part of routine maintenance, but a real solution treats both the cause and the symptoms. Another common technique is shielding or blocking out extra emotional input.

I do not encourage it as a regular or permanent strategy because it can make the empath seem cold, insensitive, and create unhealthy emotional distance. It is only recommended in an emergency like to prevent a panic attack in the short term. Use it like you would use an umbrella in a rainstorm.

Feel the energy around you and find a metaphor that makes you feel protected from harm - it may be a memory of hiding under the sheets as a kid or any imagery that feels strongest and most appealing to you at the moment. Use your ability to embody that feeling by really exploring and visualizing what that would feel like. Pull your energy around you to solidify your vision and hold it in place - make the image stronger by using any sensory information you can imagine.

Remain in this protective bubble for as long as you need to, focusing long enough to get through your crisis. Be careful to remain grounded as shield takes focus to maintain. Ensure you take care of yourself afterward by showering, taking coffee or tea, washing your hands, or eating.