Chapter Five

Sophie spent her morning cooking, as she often did when she was upset. Some days the noon meal was simple. A stew, or vegetables from the garden, or cheese and her special bread. When she was agitated the meal was more likely to be a finely seasoned and perfectly roasted meat, three or four vegetables—fried or boiled or both—her special bread, and a choice of two desserts. This morning as she cooked, she only sniffled once or twice, and only two or three tears actually fell. She allowed herself this luxury because she was alone in the cabin. Neither Isadora nor Juliet would understand why she was upset. She wasn’t sure she understood herself.

The magnificent noon meal was almost prepared when a knock sounded on the front door. Sophie wiped her hands on her apron as she hurried to answer. It was probably someone who’d come to see Juliet for an herbal medicine or medical advice, she decided as she blinked to make sure her eyes were dry. No other visitors came to Fyne Mountain. Sophie flung the door open and, surprisingly, saw Kane standing there.

Kane Varden filled the doorway, tall and broad and seething with anger. He didn’t wear a fine suit today, but had clothed himself in a plain black shirt and trousers and those fine leather boots. His long hair was down, not restrained as it had been yesterday.

He had not been armed yesterday, either, but he was certainly armed today. A silver-handled dagger in a new-looking leather sheath hung from his belt, and a short-bladed sword with a slightly curved blade was suspended from the other side in a scabbard that also shone with newness.

“What do you want?” she asked sharply. “You shouldn’t be here. Oh, this isn’t a good idea, not at all. If Isadora sees you she’ll...she’ll...”

“She’ll what?” he snapped.

She stepped forward and glanced past Kane to the barn where Isadora worked. “I told you I’m sorry. What else can I say?” A horrid thought occurred to her. “You don’t still want to...” She stepped back.

“Marry you?” he finished for her, and then he gave her a grin that was so unlike yesterday’s smile, she was momentarily shaken. There was no warmth or good humor in that tilt of the lips. “No, Angel, I’m not here to see you and I most certainly don’t want to get married. I’m here to look in on the baby. Ariana is my daughter, after all.”

“You want to see the baby?”

Kane nodded his head.

Her mouth went dry. Well, this was an unexpected development. “She’s asleep.”

“I’ll wait.”

“If Isadora finds you here—”

“I can handle your sister.”

Sophie licked her dry lips. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“You already said that.”

“I’ll bring Ariana to town this afternoon as soon as she wakes up.” It was a perfectly logical solution.

Though Kane didn’t complain, she knew his headaches had not subsided. There was a telling wrinkle to his forehead, and she could actually see the pain in his eyes. She could also see how he fought the pain.

Tired of waiting for an invitation, he stepped into the house. Sophie backed up a few quick steps.

“I want to see where my daughter lives. Where she sleeps.” The heels of Kane’s boots clipped on the entryway floor, sharp and loud. It had been years since the sound of a man’s footsteps had been heard in this house.

Sophie spun around and walked toward the bedroom where Ariana slept in her cradle. “Fine. If you insist you can look in on the baby. Then you have to leave, and you can’t come back. Not ever.”

“Why not?” He followed her, his steps slower than hers, longer and louder.

“Because Isadora—”

“This has nothing to do with Isadora.”

“But she—”

“I’m not afraid of your sister.”

Sophie screwed up her nose as she stepped into her bedroom and tiptoed to the cradle. Kane stood right beside her, his green eyes fixed on Ariana.

Everyone was afraid of Isadora. And after what she’d done to Kane, he most definitely should at least be worried. But he wasn’t. Maybe he didn’t think things could get any worse.

He was wrong.

His entire body relaxed while he looked down at Ariana. The tense muscles in his face eased, and his anger dissipated visibly. He didn’t smile, exactly, but at least Kane looked like a man who could smile when the moment was appropriate.

“Is she a good baby?” he whispered.

“Oh, yes.” Sophie smiled. “She’s started sleeping through the night already.”

“Really?”

“And she has a very sweet disposition.”

One comer of Kane’s mouth twitched. “She must get that from you.”

“Perhaps.”

He studied Ariana as if she were a work of art or a priceless treasure.

“She has your mouth,” Sophie said softly.

“Do you think so?”

“And your chin,” she added. “I wasn’t sure about that until yesterday, because before...” Oh, she should not remind him of what had happened a year ago! “The beard,” she said quickly.

Kane just nodded.

They looked down at Ariana for a moment, silent and maybe even content. It was Sophie who broke the silence with a whisper. “You shouldn’t have come back.”

“I didn’t have any choice.”

“I wanted you to be happy, and you would have been if only you’d stayed away.”

Kane no longer stared at Ariana. He looked at Sophie so hard her knees wobbled.

“Why?”

“If you hadn’t come back Isadora never would’ve known about the spell, and you would still have your good fortune and your happiness...and...”

“That’s not what I meant,” he interrupted. “Why did you want me to be happy? Why did you care?” Such a question should not sound so fierce, but there was undisguised ire in Kane’s soft voice.

“I’m not sure,” Sophie whispered.

Three things happened at once. Kane wanted to kiss Sophie so much he could almost taste her; the baby woke up; the front door of the cabin opened and closed.

Sophie went pale. “It’s Isadora and Juliet,” she whispered. “They’ve come in for the noon meal.”

“You go on,” Kane said. He wasn’t nearly as concerned about the eldest Fyne sister as Sophie. “I’ll take care of the baby.” He didn’t intend to hide, and even if the thought had crossed his mind, his horse was hitched out front. The sisters would know someone was here.

“You can’t take care of the baby,” she said.

“Why not?” If he was actually considering taking Ariana with him when he left, he’d have to get accustomed to taking care of her. Not that he’d seen anything thus far to indicate that the child was not being well cared for. The cabin was very nice. Solid outside, well-furnished and clean inside. And Sophie obviously loved her daughter. But that didn’t mean she’d make a good mother.

“She’s hungry,” Sophie said simply.

“Oh.” It was true, he couldn’t very well feed the baby. Not yet. How long before the baby would be weaned? And could he stand to wait around here until then?

Kane reached into the cradle and wrapped his hands around Ariana. She made him feel so big and awkward. So crude and unrefined. So...unworthy.

“Hold her for a moment while I get Juliet and Isadora situated. I’ll be right back. If she cries, bounce her a little. She likes that.”

Sophie dashed from the room. Did she think she could feed her sisters, feed her child, and sneak him out the front door while no one was looking?

Kane held Ariana to his shoulder, where she settled in quite nicely. The baby squirmed a little bit and mewed. It wasn’t a cry exactly, but was certainly a prelude to one.

“There now,” he said softly.

Immediately she went still and quiet. Was it the sound of his voice? Did she recognize him as her father, or would any man’s deep voice soothe Ariana?

“You’re so pretty,” he said as he bounced her gently, as Sophie had instructed. “And your mama says you’re a good baby, too. Can you say ‘Papa’?”

The answer was a soft “goo” but a moment later Ariana began to cry. He bobbed up and down a little more vigorously, but it didn’t do much good.

Kane stepped into the hallway, bouncing a crying Ariana as he walked toward the sounds of three distinct female voices. He wouldn’t leave until he knew his child was safe here, and he couldn’t take Ariana with him until she was weaned or he made arrangements to hire a wet nurse. If he was going to stick around for a few months, he wasn’t going to hide. Not from Isadora, not from anyone.

“You’re right,” he said as he carried his daughter into the kitchen. “She’s hungry.”

The two sisters were seated at the table, and they both stared at him. Isadora’s stare was impressive.

“You said the horse belonged to someone from town who wanted to see Juliet, and that this someone went for a walk to pass the time until we returned.”

“Kane does need to see Juliet,” Sophie said defensively. “He still has headaches.” She looked at him, silently pleading him not to ruin her story, even as her face turned an unnatural shade of red. “And he did go for a walk...to Ariana’s room...”

“Which is also your room,” Isadora pointed out sourly.

“He came to see the baby and Juliet, not me,” Sophie insisted.

“That’s true,” Kane said.

“The headaches are no better?” Juliet asked.

“They’re fading, but not gone.” He’d tried to ignore the pain; he’d tried to push it deep. At least the headaches didn’t blind him today.

“Do you feel like eating?” the redhead asked. “We have more than enough. Sophie outdid herself in the kitchen today.”

Isadora shot her sister a censuring look, but it was too late. Kane, only partially out of spite, accepted the offer and took the fourth chair at the kitchen table. There was indeed more than enough food for three, and it all looked good. Was it possible that Sophie was not only beautiful and passionate and sweet, but was a good cook as well?

Sophie was by far the most beautiful of the Fyne sisters, but the other two were certainly striking women. Isadora was all angles, and she would never be called pretty. But she was attractive, and there was something almost regal about her. Juliet was pretty. She tried to appear staid and prim, but her unruly red hair and the sparkle in her warm brown eyes undid that design.

But it was Sophie who caught his eye and held it. Sophie who was so beautiful she should inspire paintings and grand novels and the undying affections of every man she met. Why was he her first lover? Why had there been no others?

Erasing Sophie Fyne from his mind was going to be much more difficult than seeing to Ariana’s well-being. Perhaps if he could discover her flaws, he could forget about her more easily. Surely she had flaws. Lots of them. Beautiful women always did. They lied, they stepped on the feelings of those who were less beautiful, their vanity could be grating. They were unfaithful.

“I’ll eat later,” Sophie said as she took Ariana from his arms. Immediately the baby stopped crying and began to root around for her own noon meal. As Sophie turned away from the table she was already unbuttoning her dress. Kane watched her walk away, until she rounded the corner and disappeared from view.

When Sophie was gone, Kane studied her sisters; Isadora and then Juliet. One was angry, the other skeptical.

“You don’t belong here.” Isadora spoke in a lowered voice.

“Now, sister,” Juliet said. “Mr. Varden is a guest, and he’s Ariana’s father. The least we can do is feed him before he leaves.”

He wasn’t sure if she meant before he left the cabin or before he left Shandley altogether. Not that it mattered.

“What makes you think I’m leaving?”

No matter what happened with Ariana, Kane knew he needed to discover who had betrayed his unit more than a year ago by leading them into the ambush. Only then could he safely return to his place in the revolution. He was far away from the fighting and had been for the past year and two months. In all that time he hadn’t run into anyone who recognized his name or his face—friend or foe.

It was Sophie’s gift of good fortune that had protected him, he knew. Now that his good luck was gone he would have to be more careful. Judging by the expression on her face, he would do well to be very careful around Isadora Fyne.

All of a sudden her face softened. She almost smiled. If anything, Kane was more wary than ever. “I have a proposition for you, Mr. Varden,” she said in a deceptively sweet voice.

“I know what you want from me,” he said. “You want me gone. What do you think you have to offer in return?”

“Did you enjoy your good luck in the past year?” She kept her voice soft, no doubt so Sophie couldn’t hear. “I took it away, and I can give it back. I can give you all you had and more. The pain—the headaches and the memories—I can take them away, too.” She waved her hand. “Just like that, Mr. Varden.”

He had no intention of taking the offer, but he asked one question anyway. “Would I remember Ariana and Sophie?”

“Of course not,” she replied, thinking that she’d already won.

He wasn’t that easily taken care of.

“No, thanks.” Kane stood without taking a single bite, and followed in Sophie’s footsteps. One low, caustic word drifted to his ears as he walked away from her sisters.

Trouble.

Kane could be very quiet, when he chose to be. Sophie didn’t hear him coming down the hallway, not until it was too late. She shifted the blanket on her shoulder so that it covered her breasts and Ariana’s head.

“What are you doing here? You haven’t had time to eat.”

“I came to this house to see Ariana, not to eat an awkward meal with your sisters.”

Sophie dipped her head so she wouldn’t have to look at him. In all her imaginings, it had never occurred to her that Kane might be interested in his daughter. She had never known her own father, and neither had Isadora or Juliet. Were they decent men who would have wanted to know their children? Until now she had never even considered the possibility. “It’s not proper for you to be here.”

“I thought you didn’t care about being proper,” he said as he walked into her room. He didn’t hesitate, but reached out without shame to move the blanket that offered her some privacy. “Besides, I’ve seen this before.”

Kane sat on the edge of her bed, since Sophie and Ariana occupied the only chair in the room. He made himself comfortable there, as if he belonged in this room. The sun that poured through her window caught the golden streaks in his hair and made them glimmer.

It was actually very pleasant to sit in her chair and look at him. There were so many nice things to admire. Strong hands, muscled forearms, those long legs and broad shoulders, all so decidedly male and deliciously potent. That strength was tempered with expressive green eyes, and extraordinary hair, and the most lovely pair of lips...

Kane was, she knew, the finest example of manhood she would ever see. Determined, strong, scarred and sinewy...and still beautiful. How was that possible? How could a man be so very male and still be pretty?

“I never thought I’d have children,” he said.

“Why not?”

He gave her a bitter smile. “When I met you last year, I didn’t have anything to offer a woman or a child. I thought my life was over.”

“Over?” she whispered.

“My family is gone, all dead. The farm where I grew up was taken over by the emperor’s men years ago. They gave the land to the sheriff and burned the little house that wasn’t nearly good enough for him.” A muscle in his jaw twitched. “The woman who was supposed to become my wife got tired of waiting. I’d been gone a long time before she gave up on me. Maybe she figured after three years I wasn’t ever coming home. Whatever the reason, she married someone else. Just as well.”

There was more, she knew it instinctively, but Kane had said all he intended to say. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said sharply. The way he furrowed his brow, she knew the headache was bothering him more than it had before. “I don’t need your pity.”

“What I feel isn’t pity, it’s sympathy. There is a difference, you know. You’ve known much heartache, and for that I am sorry.”

The tension on his face did not ease. “Everyone dies eventually. We all lose the people we love.”

Sophie opened her mouth to respond but Kane stopped her with a quick, “And please, don’t try to soothe my pain with ridiculous tales of other worlds.”

“I hope they’re not ridiculous,” she said. She really did like to think that her mother and Willym both lived on—somewhere other than the land of the dead.

“As for the land, I was never a good farmer,” Kane said, ignoring her declaration. “My heart was not in it. And the other...well, women are fickle. I just learned that lesson later in life than most men.”

“All women are not fickle,” Sophie said defensively.

He did not look convinced. “Look at you. You say you’ll take other lovers when the time comes or the mood strikes you. No one man is good enough for you. No one man could ever be enough for you.”

“Yes, but I’ve always been honest about the plans for my life.”

“Angel, that’s not a plan,” he said sharply. “It’s a convoluted whim.”

She looked down at Ariana so she wouldn’t have to see Kane’s face. How could she explain to him that the life’s plan he considered distasteful and shocking was her only option? The family curse made a normal life impossible for her. There could be no husband, not for her. The idea of living all her years without being touched, without being held—it made her cringe and shrivel, deep inside. She needed to be held, the way the earth needed the sun.

“I wouldn’t make a good wife,” she said softly. “Not for you, not for anyone.”

The room was so quiet, she looked up to make sure Kane was still sitting on the bed.

“Why would you say that?” he asked.

“I can’t deny who I am. What I am.”

“A witch.”

Sophie nodded.

“If you’re a true witch, if you can do magic, why are you hiding on this forsaken mountain? Why aren’t you sitting in a palace somewhere, dressed in silk and draped in jewels and being waited on hand and foot by those who adore or fear you?” There was so much anger in his voice and in his eyes. Those green eyes that had haunted her dreams, then and now.

“This is my home. I wouldn’t be happy anywhere else.”

“Have you ever been anywhere else?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know you wouldn’t be just as happy?”

His attempt at logic did not sway her. “I have no especially useful talents. I can’t read minds or manipulate objects, and my abilities with traditional spells are, well, less than impressive. One out of ten might work as it should. I make things grow, that’s all. And even if I did have a more imposing talent, I wouldn’t want to be some man’s puppet or weapon. Here I am my own woman, and...” And Isadora’s spell kept unwanted men away. Usually. “You should not have come back here. We would all be much happier if you had never returned.”

“Then I never would’ve seen Ariana. I wouldn’t even have known she existed.”

Her heart thudded, her mouth went dry. “It’s hardly a fair trade. You’re still having headaches, and there won’t be any more good luck coming your way.” She hoped there wasn’t a glut of bad luck to balance the scales she’d thrown out of whack. It was too soon to tell. “And you remember—”

“Yesterday I lost something I shouldn’t have had in the first place,” he interrupted, “Does it hurt? Hell yes, it does. Do I wish I didn’t remember some of the things that happened to me in the past? You bet. Ask me if I’d go back, if I had the choice. Ask me if I’d trade finding you again and seeing the baby for a return to the mindless bliss of my past year.”

Sophie swallowed. Kane couldn’t do this to her. He wouldn’t sit here and make her like him all over again. He wouldn’t actually tell her that he’d rather be in physical and mental pain than lose Ariana, a child he hadn’t even known of until yesterday. He had no idea how dangerous this could be.

“Ask me,” he said again.

Sophie shook her head.

“Fine, I’ll tell you anyway. Ariana’s real and she’s mine.”

“Ariana’s not yours. She’s...” Sophie started to say mine, but realized that was wrong. “Ours,” she finished softly.

Kane shook his head. “When I saw the two of you yesterday, there was no question in my mind. We’d get married, we’d have more babies, we’d...” He wisely did not finish.

“You don’t still think—” Sophie began.

“No,” Kane answered quickly and without trepidation. “Even if I didn’t remember everything from before, I certainly don’t want a wife whose intent is to take lovers as she sees fit.”

Sophie felt a blush rise to her cheeks. "It never occurred to me to be your wife.”

“I understand that.”

It surely wasn’t wise to talk about the morning they’d met. Keeping Kane at a distance would be so much easier if she didn’t remember, so vividly, what his body had felt like against and inside hers. But having him here, sharing a moment with their child—she couldn’t make herself pretend that what had happened didn’t mean anything to her.

“I didn’t know with certainty, when I went to you that morning, that we would make a child, but later, it seemed as if I had always known.”

“I didn’t even believe that you were real for a day or more.”

She switched Ariana to the other breast, and Kane watched closely. Talking about their first meeting seemed to make him uncomfortable. It certainly didn’t help her to relax.

“How long are you going to stay in Shandley?” she asked. He lifted his head, and when their eyes met Sophie’s heart leapt. She could not allow a man, any man, to have this kind of effect on her!

“I haven’t decided,” he answered. “I need to rejoin the rebels, but there’s some work to do before I can reclaim my place.”

“What kind of work?”

After a short pause he said, “I don’t think I should tell you.”

She tried not to be hurt that he didn’t trust her. After all, why should he confide in her? They were strangers, still. Lovers, parents, and strangers. “In any case, you really shouldn’t stay long.”

“Worried about what people will say?”

Sophie smiled. “I ceased to care what people said about me when I was eleven years old. When your mother, grandmother, and two older sisters are impressive witches, people don’t exactly say kind things about you.”

“What about you?” he asked. “Aren’t you an impressive witch, too?”

She shook her head. “No. I do have some newly discovered abilities, but I am nowhere near as capable as my sisters.” She didn’t tell him that those powers had been increased a hundredfold while Ariana had been growing inside her.

“Why do you stay here?” he asked, his voice lowered so no one else in the house could overhear. “You’re so beautiful, any man in the world would be happy to have you as his wife. You could leave this place, find yourself a wealthy man, make your own family—”

“And deny who I am?” She didn’t tell Kane that the very idea of leaving Fyne Mountain terrified her. “No. I’m satisfied here. I have a home and my child and—”

“Our child,” he corrected her.

“Our child,” she said reluctantly. “And I have my sisters. I don’t want or need anything else to make my life complete.”

He didn’t argue with her, but she could see very clearly that he didn’t believe her. Unfortunately, she didn’t truly believe herself.

One question had been nagging at her for the past couple of days. The answer was not important, since she had no intention of falling in love, and still...she had to know.

“How old are you?” she asked, her eyes not on Kane but on Ariana.

“Twenty-eight.”

Her heart hitched a little. When she began to like Kane too much, she’d have to remind herself that if she made the mistake of loving him, he wouldn’t live another two years.