WHICH was all well and good, but Ally found it incredibly hard to justify her decision to herself during the long afternoon that followed. Whatever had brought Raul to England—and she couldn’t believe he’d travelled all this way just to see her—it would still have been good to see him again.
So good, she mused wistfully, grateful when the clock on the office wall crawled round to five o’clock and she could leave. Coming back to England, having to deal with Jeff’s thwarted ambitions, even returning to work and the day-today routine she was used to, had helped to assuage the anguish she’d felt when she’d left San Cristobál, but it hadn’t lasted. As each succeeding week went by, it got harder and harder to sleep at night. Images of herself and Raul together, their naked bodies hot and sweaty from the heat of their lovemaking, dampened her body and quickened her pulse. Some nights they totally refused to be dislodged and the memory of how he’d looked when she’d sent him away was a constant torment.
Of course, she’d believed that she’d never have the chance to see him again. She’d assumed that, whatever they’d shared, he would eventually marry Julia and produce the grandchildren his parents craved. She guessed he’d think that she and Jeff would get back together again, too. That, however much she’d denied it, the fact that she’d taken her ex-husband’s part over his, was proof that she hadn’t meant what she said.
But now all her preconceived ideas of the future had been thrown into confusion. She didn’t know what was happening any more and, despite what she’d said to Sam, the temptation to see him just one more time was almost irresistible.
There was a note from her daughter waiting for her when she got home. Ally was aware that her hands were trembling as she picked it up, but it wasn’t about Raul. Sam merely said that she’d be working until seven o’clock and then she was going to her fiancé’s home for supper. She didn’t know what time she’d be back, she’d added, but Ally shouldn’t wait up. Mark would see she got home safely whatever time it was.
Ally gave a rueful sigh. Lucky Sam, she thought wryly. Her daughter was so sure about her future. There’d be no unplanned pregnancies for her; no marriage based on need rather than love.
She dropped the note again and turned away. So she had the evening to herself. She was disappointed, really. She had hoped Sam would come home after she finished at the restaurant. She’d wanted to talk to her; to ask her more about Raul, if she was honest. But Sam evidently thought her mother had said all she was going to say and had decided to leave the subject of her relationship with Raul alone.
Tactful, Ally supposed gloomily. She had been rather impatient about it at lunchtime and she had only herself to blame if her daughter had taken her at her word.
Compellingly, the thought of Raul, dining alone at the Post House Hotel, popped into her head. She wondered what he was doing at this moment, whether he’d taken the chance to explore the city or was sitting in his room, waiting for her to call.
He’d wait a long time, she told herself fiercely. How could she call him? How could he expect her to pick up the phone and speak to him as if his turning up here in Newcastle was a perfectly natural thing for him to do? She wasn’t like him; he knew that. Therefore he should know that she was too practical—too old—to play fast and loose with other people’s lives.
Yet he was here…
She forced that thought back into the recesses of her mind, trying to tell herself that she mustn’t fall into the trap of believing he had come all this way just to see her. He wouldn’t have. He couldn’t have.
So why was he here?
Ally dropped her coat over the back of a chair and made her way upstairs. She was not going to think about it any more, she decided. All she was doing was tearing away the small veneer of normality she’d achieved during the past three weeks. All right, she didn’t sleep well and she suffered a lot of stress, but eventually—eventually—she would be able to put all this behind her. She had to. She had to.
She paused in front of the mirror in her bedroom. God, she looked a mess, she thought. The highlights in her hair were beginning to fade, and if she wasn’t careful she’d begin to see herself as she was before she went to San Cristobál. Even her face was pale, and the flattering suntan she had acquired on the island had lost its glow.
Shaking her head, she turned away, and as she did so, an idea occurred to her: perhaps she ought to agree to see Raul, after all. Here, without the deceptive trappings of sophistication her holiday had given her, he would see her as she really was. Not the sun-tanned temptress he’d pretended she represented, but a harassed housewife, with little claim to either sophistication or beauty.
She swallowed the sudden constriction she felt in her throat. The idea of ringing Raul and arranging to meet him at some neutral location was terrifying. Despite what she kept telling herself, she was very much afraid that if she did see him again, she wouldn’t be able to hide how she felt about him. And it would be too humiliating if she gave herself away…
She couldn’t do it. Knowing herself for a coward, Ally went into the bathroom and turned on the taps. Then, going downstairs again, she rescued the solitary bottle of German white from the fridge, opening it and collecting a glass before going back upstairs again.
She wished she could get drunk, she thought miserably, stripping off her clothes before stepping into the tub. That way she might be able to silence the clamouring voices in her head that warned her this might be her last chance for happiness.
She was on her third glass of wine when the doorbell rang.
Determining to ignore it, Ally nestled down into the foamy water, only to feel a twinge of anxiety when the bell rang for a second time. Damn, she thought uneasily. Had she left her key in the lock? She remembered locking the door as she came in, but she didn’t remember taking the key out of the lock again. Both Sam and Ryan had keys, of course, but they couldn’t use them if her key was still in the lock.
She hesitated only a moment longer before putting down her glass and getting out of the bath. Then, wrapping a towel sarongwise beneath her arms, she opened the bathroom door and went to the top of the stairs. From there, she could see the front door with her key sticking plainly out of the lock. But, by the light of the street lamp outside, she could also see the unmistakable silhouette of a man, and her pulse began to race.
It was Raul. She knew it. The silhouette was much too tall for either Ryan or Sam’s fiancé, and even as she stood there, frozen to the spot, he rattled the letterbox and called, ‘Ally! I know you’re in there. Your car’s parked outside.’
Ally blinked, wondering how he had known that it was her car. He didn’t know what kind of car she drove. Unless…unless Sam had told him…
The possible implications of the note her daughter had left her were suddenly clear. She had been wrong to think that Sam had accepted her decision. Her daughter, who knew her almost as well as she knew herself, had immediately done what she herself had been afraid to do: she had rung Raul.
Realising she couldn’t pretend any longer, Ally called, ‘I’ll be right down,’ and scurried back into the bathroom.
Another glance at her reflection was no more reassuring than it had been before. She’d washed her hair, but, although it was clean, it was still wet. Shedding the bath-towel, she replaced it with her woollen dressing gown and, going into the bedroom, she skewered her hair on top of her head with a tortoiseshell clip. Then, without giving herself time to have second thoughts, she pushed her feet into heelless mules and went quickly down the stairs.
A draught of cold air enveloped her as she opened the door, and she shivered. But she knew the feathering of her spine owed more to the man who was waiting on her doorstep, one hand raised to support himself against the wall, than to the chilling wind. She’d never seen him in an overcoat before, the grey cashmere parting to reveal black mole-skin trousers and a turtle-necked grey sweater.
‘Raul,’ she said artlessly, as if she hadn’t known it was him until she opened the door. ‘Um—you’d better come in.’
‘Thank you.’
He straightened, and stepped over the threshold, and Ally moved aside to let him advance into the hall. The narrow passageway was immediately dwarfed by his presence, and, suppressing the gulp that threatened to betray her, she closed the door again and said, ‘Please: go into the living room. I won’t be a minute. I’ll just go and put some clothes on—’
‘No.’ Although she’d thought he was going to do as she’d asked, he turned in the doorway to the living room and confronted her. It was the first opportunity she’d had to see him clearly and she was disturbed to see that he looked thinner, his face pale and weary. ‘No, don’t go and put your clothes on,’ he said heavily. ‘Please. I like you just the way you are.’
Ally stared at him. ‘I—’ She didn’t know how to deal with this. ‘Why have you come here, Raul?’
Raul gave her an old-fashioned look. ‘Like you don’t know.’
‘I don’t know.’ Ally wrapped her arms about her midriff. ‘Are you on your own?’
‘Who would I be with?’ Raul closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again on a drawn-out sigh. ‘Okay,’ he said, reaching out a hand and gripping her two arms where they crossed at her waist. ‘Come in here and I’ll tell you.’
Ally quivered. She couldn’t help it. Just being near to him, having him touch her—albeit through the sleeves of her old dressing gown—was overpowering and she couldn’t hide her reaction from him.
‘Oh, Ally,’ he muttered, feeling her trembling, and, abandoning for the moment any attempt to explain his actions, he pulled her against him. ‘Ally, you have no idea of the torment you’ve put me through.’
Ally rather thought she had, but for the moment she was wantonly content to feel his mouth moving on hers, rubbing sensuously against her lips, tasting her and provoking her, until she reached up with both hands and fastened her mouth to his.
She’d thought she’d remembered everything about him, but she hadn’t. She’d forgotten how devastating his lovemaking could be and she heard him stifle a groan as he gathered her closer into his arms.
She realised that he was trembling, too, his lean muscular body shuddering as he parted his legs to bring her nearer. Although she tried to remember that there had always been this sexual attraction between them, that she shouldn’t mistake lust for love, for now it was enough that he was holding her and caressing her, his voice hoarse and muffled when he released her mouth to burrow his face into her neck.
‘Dear God, Ally,’ he muttered, his breath hot against her ear, ‘why did you let me go on thinking that you and Jeff were going home to try and make another attempt at your marriage? I’ve gone through hell thinking that you and that smug bastard were back together again.’
Ally caught her breath as his hand invaded the neckline of her gown and his thumb found the swollen peak of her breast. For a moment, she couldn’t trust herself to speak, and, taking advantage of the fact, Raul drew his hand down and parted the loose cord that kept the two sides of the dressing gown in place.
‘You—you know why I did it,’ Ally got out at last, trying to cover herself again—without a great deal of success. ‘You were going to marry Julia and—’
‘But I’d already told Suzanne that I wasn’t going to marry Julia,’ said Raul thickly, his eyes dropping possessively to the triangle of honey-coloured hair at the apex of her thighs. Then, forcing his head up again, he rested his forehead against hers as he added, ‘Dammit, that was why I had had that meeting with the Davises that day—Jeff—turned up at the hotel.’
Ally’s groan was anguished. ‘Oh, Raul, you didn’t!’
‘Yes, I did,’ he told her roughly, his eyes darkening with sudden impatience. ‘Why? Why should it matter to you? Did you want me to marry Julia? Is that it? Did you prefer the freedom of an illicit affair to the responsibilities of a real relationship?’
Ally’s mouth dropped. ‘How can you ask me that?’ she asked in horror. Dragging herself away from him, she wrapped her gown about her again. ‘How can you ask me that?’
‘Hey, I’m going to be asking you a hell of a lot more than that,’ he declared harshly, flinging off his coat and turning away to push agitated fingers through his hair. ‘Like who do you think is the injured party here? Like how could you leave knowing how much I cared about you?’
Ally shook her head. ‘You know how it was,’ she protested. ‘I thought you were going to marry Julia…’
‘But Suzanne must have told you that was off,’ he argued, turning on the hearth to look across the room at her. He scowled. ‘I was sure she would.’
‘Well, she didn’t,’ said Ally tremulously. ‘I’m not a liar.’
‘And nor am I,’ said Raul steadily. ‘I love you, Ally. Are you going to tell me that’s wrong?’
Ally’s jaw quivered. ‘But—but Suzanne was depending on you.’
Raul’s brows drew together. ‘For what?’
Ally lifted her shoulders in a helpless gesture. ‘You must know,’ she said pleadingly. ‘Don’t make me say it.’
‘Ah.’ Raul took a step in her direction. ‘I assume you’re talking about the loan.’
Ally nodded.
‘Are you saying that Suzanne had confided her troubles to you and didn’t tell you that they’d been settled?’
Ally’s eyes widened. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Obviously not.’ Raul came a little nearer. ‘I was sure you would have been the first to know.’
‘That your father was likely to call in the loan he’d offered them at the time he thought you and Julia were going to get married?’ she exclaimed. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘No.’ Raul sighed. ‘That my father had agreed to write off the loan in exchange for an agreed share in the hotel. It was what the Davises had suggested when they first approached my father for a loan, only at that time he preferred not to become involved in the business.’
‘They approached your father?’ Ally was stunned. That was not what Suzanne had told her. ‘I had no idea.’
‘No.’ Raul came to stand in front of her. ‘I believe you.’ He trailed a seductive finger down her hot cheek. ‘I’m sorry. I naturally assumed they’d have told you.’
Ally didn’t know what to say, what to do. ‘So—your father had a change of heart,’ she whispered. ‘Why?’
‘Oh, I think he can see the writing on the wall,’ replied Raul drily. ‘Carlos is in love with Julia and, as the Davises have no son to carry on the business after they retire, I think my father is taking a stake in Carlos’s future.’
Ally couldn’t believe it. ‘And you don’t mind?’
‘Mind?’ Raul’s finger explored the contours of her mouth. ‘Why would I mind? I told you why I’d got involved with Julia that night at Finisterre. The night you told me in no uncertain terms that you weren’t interested in me.’
‘That’s not true.’ Ally balled one fist and pressed it into the palm of her other hand, gazing up at him with wide anxious eyes. ‘You know—you know why I said what I did. I’ve explained that.’ She made a helpless little gesture. ‘I just don’t know what—what you want of me?’
‘Oh, I think you do.’ Raul’s voice had thickened, and his hand had slipped around her neck, warm against the damp hair that was gradually freeing itself from the clip. ‘I want you.’ He drew her towards him. ‘And I think you want me, only you’re too damned proud to say so.’
‘It’s not pride,’ said Ally unsteadily, when he bent his head to nuzzle her ear, and Raul gave a rueful laugh.
‘Well, whatever it is, I want you to say it,’ he murmured, finding her mouth and biting the soft inner flesh. ‘I want you to say, I want you, Raul. Just as much as you want me.’
‘Oh, I do.’ Ally’s voice wobbled as she said the words. ‘I want you, Raul. I want you to make love to me. I want to make love to you.’ She gave a tremulous smile. ‘Will that do?’
‘For now,’ agreed Raul against her lips, and she gave herself up to the eager passion of his kiss.
They were hungry for one another, and for a few moments there was no sound but the laboured urgency of their breathing. And Ally realised that, whatever he wanted, she had to have him in her life, even if it meant sharing him with some other woman who could give him the children he owed his mother.
Desperately, she drew him closer, her hands slipping beneath the hem of his sweater, to find the warm skin beneath. He was so smooth, so supple, and she dipped her hands into the waistband of his trousers, feeling a thrill of possession when he bucked against her exploring fingers.
‘God, Ally’ he groaned, dragging her hands around to the front of his trousers and pressing them against the hard ridge that swelled beneath the cloth. With infinite tenderness, she traced the throbbing length of his erection, but when her fingers searched for his zip, he uttered a protesting groan. ‘Not yet,’ he said, backing up against the sofa, and, with a rueful smile, he subsided onto the cushions, pulling her down on top of him.
Her robe was easily disposed of and then she took the greatest pleasure in helping him push his sweater over his head. She’d forgotten how broad his chest was, forgotten how tantalising the fine covering of coarse hair that arrowed down into his trousers.
Straddling him, she unbuckled his belt and opened his zip. He was wearing navy briefs tonight and he groaned again when she didn’t immediately release him from their confinement but merely stroked his fullness first with her hand and then her tongue.
‘That’s enough,’ he muttered then, easily reversing their positions so that now he was straddling her, the offending briefs tossed carelessly aside. ‘I’m only human,’ he added roughly, abrading her nipples with his palms as he looked possessively down at her. ‘And I need you…so much.’
Ally wanted to say she felt the same, but his lips were on hers again, his tongue plunging deeply into her mouth. He was showing her how much he wanted her, she realised, taking her with his tongue as he intended to take her with his body. His hands had freed her hair from its clip and were now sliding into the damp strands, his fingertips hard and demanding against her scalp.
She could feel him against her thigh, hard, too, and velvety soft against her leg. When he drew back to suckle at her breast, she reached for him, but, with a moan of anguish, he pushed her hand away.
‘I want to be inside you when I spill my seed,’ he muttered, trailing a finger down her stomach and her abdomen to probe the moist curls between her legs. ‘I want you to be ready.’ His lips curved. ‘Are you?’
Ally gasped as he stroked the sensitive nub that guarded her womanhood. She had thought she was in control, but she had no control whatsoever where he was concerned. Within seconds, she was panting with the onslaught of a totally uncontrolled orgasm, and she pushed weakly at his fingers, wanting him to take their place.
‘Dammit, I’ve left something in my coat,’ he groaned, but Ally wouldn’t let him move away.
‘We don’t need it,’ she protested, guessing at once that he was talking about protection. ‘I want you. I want to feel you inside me, heat to heat, skin to skin.’
Raul stared at her. ‘Are you sure?’
Ally looked up at him. ‘If it’s what you want, too?’
‘It’s what I want,’ he told her unsteadily, and, with an exclamation of satisfaction, he sheathed himself inside her…
It was after ten o’clock before Ally and Raul got to bed.
Making love on the sofa in the living room had just been the start of an evening that had been a dizzying delight from start to finish. Although that first time had been over much too quickly, there had been other times, in other places, that had left Ally sated and satisfied in every tiny pore.
Raul had seemed insatiable, and by the time they’d made it upstairs to empty Ally’s bath and fill another that they’d shared, Ally’s legs had been weak and trembling.
He’d made love to her again in the bath, a feat Ally would never have believed he could do, but, sitting across Raul’s thighs, sharing long enervating kisses, she had discovered that anything was possible.
He had also proposed to her in the bath and Ally had stared at him incredulously, her heart in her eyes.
‘You want to marry me?’ she breathed, hardly daring to believe she’d heard him correctly, and Raul couldn’t keep the smug grin off his face as he assured her that indeed that was what he wanted to do. ‘But—what about your mother?’ she protested. ‘Won’t she be disappointed that you’re not marrying someone younger?’
Raul dipped his tongue into her ear. ‘My mother and father know exactly what I want to do,’ he said softly. ‘I told them weeks ago. Before you came to Finisterre, to be precise.’
Ally’s mouth opened. ‘Is that true?’
‘I thought you might have guessed,’ he agreed. ‘Why else do you think my parents were so eager to meet you?’
Ally shook her head dazedly. ‘I can hardly believe it.’
‘So?’ Raul prompted. ‘Will you marry me? Or must I do as my ancestors did and kidnap you first?’
Ally’s lips twitched. ‘I think you kidnapped me that night in London,’ she admitted ruefully. ‘I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you since.’
‘I wish you’d told me,’ said Raul fervently. ‘Instead of letting me think you were going to go back to Jeff.’
Ally draped her arms around his neck. ‘That reminds me,’ she whispered. ‘You never did tell me how you found out that Jeff and I weren’t back together.’
‘Julia told me,’ said Raul surprisingly. ‘Apparently you’d written to Suzanne when you got back to thank her for letting you stay, and it was obvious from your letter that you and your ex-husband were not planning a reconciliation.’
‘Oh. Oh, yes.’ Ally had forgotten writing that letter. Suzanne hadn’t bothered to reply, but Ally had felt she owed it to the other woman to do the polite thing. After all, it wasn’t Suzanne’s fault that things hadn’t turned out as she’d planned. She bit her lips. ‘So—are you saying that Julia knows about us?’
‘I think she has a fairly good idea,’ remarked Raul drily. ‘Carlos isn’t known for his discretion and he’s known for some time.’
Ally cupped his face with her hands. ‘Then thank heavens for that,’ she breathed. ‘I do love you, you know.’
‘And I love you,’ he echoed, enjoying the freedom to touch her whenever, and wherever, he liked. ‘Did I tell you how delicious you are? How seductive you look sitting there, with only a few soapsuds for cover?’
Ally’s cheeks turned pink. ‘Who, me?’
‘You,’ he conceded huskily. ‘I can’t wait to take you back to San Cristobál.’
Ally hesitated. ‘Suzanne’s not going to be very pleased.’
‘Hey, who cares what Suzanne thinks? After crying on your shoulder, she didn’t even bother to tell you when her financial troubles were over.’
‘Well, I think I can understand that,’ said Ally generously. ‘She was so proud when she thought Julia was going to marry you. She would have hated to tell me it was all off.’
Raul shrugged. ‘If you say so.’
‘I do say so.’ Ally’s blush deepened. ‘You’re a very attractive man.’
‘Soon to be a very attractive married man?’ he asked pointedly, and she dimpled.
‘Soon to be a very attractive married man,’ she agreed, and Raul covered her smiling lips with his.
Ally rang Sam before going to bed.
Raul proved he wasn’t averse to turning his hand to anything if he had to, and, while he was whipping them up a couple of Spanish omelettes, Ally phoned her daughter.
Sam seemed totally unsurprised to hear from her mother. ‘Is he there?’ she asked eagerly, and Ally agreed that he was. ‘Are you going to marry him?’ Sam added, as soon as her mother had assured herself that her daughter had indeed rung Raul at the Post House, and she gasped.
‘How do you know about that?’
‘I asked him what his intentions were, of course,’ declared Sam unrepentantly. ‘By the way, I phoned Ryan and told him, too. He said you had his blessing, for what it’s worth.’
‘But how could you—?’ Ally forced herself not to go any further. ‘Don’t you mind?’
‘Mind?’ Sam snorted. ‘Mum, it’s the best thing that could have happened to you. What’s to mind?’
Ally mentioned her daughter’s reaction to Raul as they got into her bed later. Sam had said she was spending the night at Mark’s—to ‘give them space’, as she put it—and Raul was only too happy not to have to go back to the hotel.
‘She’s a good kid,’ he said, settling her spoonwise into the curve of his thighs, her back against his chest. ‘I hope she and your son realise that they’ll always have a home with us, whatever they choose to do with their lives.’
Ally lifted her hand and drew his head down onto her shoulder. ‘I’m never going to sleep,’ she said shakily. ‘I’m so excited; so elated; so—so afraid this is all a dream.’
‘It’s no dream,’ Raul assured her, nuzzling her neck. ‘But, if you’re not tired, I think I know of something that might help…’