As Samara watched the stars in the black dome of the sky, stars that seemed to pulse with her heartbeat, Valerius told his tale.
“We were boys, Marcus and I, when the Emperor arrived at the country estate where we lived with our grandfather. The Emperor had come to adopt us and take us to Rome. Our parents had been dead for four years, and so had the former Emperor, Hadrianus Augustus, the rough old warrior who once bedded my mother, without bothering to conceal it from Marcus and me.
“Antoninus, the new Emperor, was Hadrian’s opposite in every way. Where Hadrian was blunt, Antoninus was diplomatic. Where Hadrian was a creature of moods, Antoninus was a man of the mind – so much so that he seemed incapable of passion.
“The day he arrived at our grandfather Verus’ estate, the sun was beating down mercilessly on the weedy fields and the cracked red tile roofs. Antoninus brought his retinue of two dozen aides and servants. There was a caravan of six wagons loaded with gifts for our grandfather, as well as luxurious clothing and gourmet food for all. The whole household assembled in the courtyard to greet the God-Man.
“‘As you all know,” Antoninus announced, leaning down from horseback, ‘I’ve come to adopt young Valerius and Marcus as my sons and heirs, as was the wish of my father Hadrian.’
“I was stunned. I was fourteen, my brother a year younger, and though we had known this day might come, it felt like a strange miracle, a sudden invitation to a realm of glory.
“The Emperor said, ‘I’m staying long enough to get to know both boys. Even though I could simply order it so, my desire is that the young brothers agree to the adoption.’ His speech was always smooth, precise, sounding rehearsed. ‘Now lead us to our quarters.’
“Energized, Marcus grabbed me by the shirt. ‘Do you realize what he’s saying?
Because Antoninus has no son, he has to adopt so he can ensure his successor – just like Antoninus was adopted by Hadrian. What a stroke of destiny for us! Valerius, let’s say yes to the adoption! You’re the eldest, so you’ll be Emperor. I’ll be your counsel. Together we’ll remake the Empire!’
“I was thrilled. Not only would I rule Rome, I’d have my brilliant brother to help me. ‘Marcus,’ I said, ‘just imagine. We could even give the provinces back to their inhabitants!’
“He reproached me. ‘Valerius! The natives aren’t trustworthy. They’ve attacked Romans again and again.’
“‘Only because we plundered their countries,’ I insisted.
“‘You’d have to convince me of that, Valerius. Let’s look at some less radical ideas.’
“I backed off, yet resolved to hold firm on that subject.
“A few days later, having agreed to the adoption, we were taken to Rome and installed in the imperial palace. Samara, it was such an incredible experience for such young men as ourselves! There we were, living in luxury in an internationally cosmopolitan place where we met people from all over the Empire, with amazing art and music and plays and spectacles to see every day. We were at the world’s center of power, where decisions were made that affected the lives of millions. It was thrilling, but there was a dark side in the many instances of dishonesty and corruption I saw. I already knew that Rome owed her power to her lack of scruples, but I was further disillusioned by what I saw.
“Over the next few years, Marcus and I had many long talks with the Emperor. Young as we were, he wanted to know what we thought about matters of Empire.
“I argued vigorously for reform. I declared that the Empire was rotten and bloated. I even said that the Hebrews should be given their kingdom back, so they could become Rome’s ally. Antoninus regarded me with a bland and fishy eye, making no comment.
“Marcus, on the other hand, spoke of the solid institutions of the Senate, the Legions, the courts, and how they had made Rome the preeminent stabilizing power in the world.
“In private, Marcus would entreat me, ‘Don’t needle Antoninus,’
“I said, ‘We both know that what I say is true.’
“‘True or not,’ Marcus said, ‘he won’t trust you unless he sees that you know the good side of Rome as well.’
“When we were seventeen and eighteen, one night after dinner while servants cleared the dishes, Emperor Antoninus addressed Marcus in that carefully modulated voice that drove me insane:
“‘Marcus, you’re an unkempt young man. You should cut your hair short, like your brother’s, or comb it more often.’
“‘My appearance does not matter that much, sir,’ Marcus said.
“‘It shall, when you’re Emperor.’
“‘Uncle!’ I shouted. ‘You said it was I who would become Emperor.’
“‘I’ve changed my mind, Severus Valerius. Marcus, not you, is to be my heir.’
“My face burning, I bolted from the table and stormed out to the balcony.
“Antoninus called after me, ‘Are you ill? Do you have a fever?’
“‘Valerius!’ cried Marcus. ‘Wait, brother. I want you to be my co-Emperor!’
“I didn’t answer. I stood on the balcony, looking out into the night and brooding. I could hear Marcus pleading with our uncle. ‘Don’t do it, sir. Valerius would make the better Emperor. He’s older and wiser. Don’t do this to him – nor to me!’
“I heard Antoninus say to Marcus, ‘You would be the better ruler, Marcus. I also believe it would be unwise for you to enlist your brother, with his ideas, to be equal to you in power.”
“Marcus tried to argue the point, but our uncle said, ‘Enough. Be silent now, Marcus.’
“Antoninus emerged on the balcony and transfixed me with his gaze. ‘Speak your mind, my son. I owe you another chance to tell me why I should not make your brother Marcus the Emperor.’
“All I could think of to say was ‘Because you offered it to me first.’
“‘Valerius,’ he said, ‘you often speak against the Empire. Marcus understands the benevolent power of Romanitas. He knows that Rome is a civilizing force.’
“I knew I should bite my tongue, yet I laughed. ‘Civilizing? Uncle, by your leave, when’s the last time you visited the Coliseum?’
“‘I believe it was last spring. They were presenting the mock sea battle of Salamis.’
“‘How red did the water get?’
“‘What?’
“‘How many people died in that mockery of a spectacle?’
“He shrugged. ‘I have no idea. All who died were volunteers. They all accepted the risk.’
“‘What kind of a civilizing power is populated by so many who volunteer to die?’
“‘Valerius, the people desire rough and bloody entertainment. You cannot change that.’
“‘Uncle,’ I said abruptly, surprising even myself, ‘I’ll reluctantly give up my desire to be Emperor. I’ll just join the Legions instead.’ The Emperor closed his eyes, looking shocked, if one could attribute any emotion at all to him.
“Finally he continued, ‘You’re a strange lad, Valerius. I do agree that it might be better for everyone for you to follow your impulse to become a legionary. You could use the discipline it would give you.’ He turned and left.
“That same evening, Marcus and I met in our bedroom. We were both disturbed, reluctant to look at each other. Finally Marcus broke the silence. He said, ‘Look. Let’s settle this. No matter what Uncle says, once I’m in command, I could name you my co-Emperor. Valerius, you can decide foreign policy. Or domestic, and I’ll decide foreign. Whatever you choose.’
“I said, full of myself as only an eighteen-year-old can be, ‘I could do it as Emperor with you as my advisor, Marcus, but I wouldn’t trust you to be the one making the final decisions.”
“He was undaunted. ‘Valerius, it’s been decided. You heard me try to convince our uncle to give the reins of state to you, but he wouldn’t hear of it. If it has to be me, I could do a much better job of changing this Empire if you did it with me.’
“Still in a huff, I said, ‘You’ll find some way to work it out without me.’
“‘Valerius! Please stay with me!’
“I shook my head. ‘Marcus, you support this unprincipled way of life much more than I ever could, so leave me out of it.’
“The two of us sat in silence again. I remember an owl hooting and hooting.
“‘So you’re not budging,’ said Marcus at last. Then he barked a single laugh, a laugh that would grow familiar to me. It had a defeated tone.
“‘You’ve really done it to me,’ he said. ‘The two of you have ended my hopes, you and that old dead duck Hadrian who told Antoninus to adopt us. You know I’ve always expected for you to be the Emperor and me to advise you. Hadrian’s ghost must have told Antoninus to bypass you. It must be Hadrian’s revenge for my idea to give him the pumpkin head.’
“I was startled by my brother’s superstitiousness. ‘Hadrian’s ghost, Marcus?’
“‘As for you,’ Marcus went on, ‘you’re making me into the sole Emperor when I need you as my friend and advisor. Without you, I’ll just have sycophants and deceivers around me. Even worse, the common people of Rome are going to be offering sacrifices and worship to me. If we were co-Emperors, we’d both be worshipped, but at least we could complain about it to each other. Now, you’re pushing me into being the solitary figurehead. I’ll be what I’ve always despised: a god!’
“Emperor Antoninus summoned me, without Marcus, the following morning. As usual, his voice showed no emotion.
“‘I’m ordering the Legions to accept you immediately as a ranking officer. As you’re my adopted son, I shall determine your marriages and other issues. You shall be receiving monthly remittances from your half of the income properties that you and your brother inherited. A Legion commander is coming for you in the morning.’
“The Emperor turned away. The man seemed to me to be bland through and through. He had no heat in him. I was steaming inside, yet determined not to show my feelings. I’d be stoic, balanced, calm, and make the most of whatever sticking to my principles would bring me.”
Samara looked overwhelmed as she said, Valerius I’m sorry for your difficulties, but I’ll have to admit I’m glad you’re here.”
Valerius felt mollified as he continued with his story.
“I reported the news to my brother. ‘Marcus, I’m sorry I was so angry yesterday. I just have to get out of this atmosphere for awhile and into the down-to-earth world of the Legions. I cannot stay here with you any longer to be raised in an imperial hothouse. I have to see something of the world. I particularly like the idea that as a ranking officer, I might be able to make life better for some of those provincial peoples. I can earn promotions and soon rule a whole province. Later, I could come back and help you rule.’
“Marcus looked at me skeptically. ‘Well, I hope you do, brother.’
“A few weeks later, I traveled to the War College. Afterwards, I served as an officer in the Legions for six years, while Marcus became Emperor Antoninus’ protégé, and eventually his unofficial second-in-command. For years, I seldom even thought about my promise to rejoin Marcus and assist him with his duties running the Empire with Antoninus.
“Antoninus maintained a chilly and distant relationship with me, yet he gave me high-level offices. He made me a military tribune in Dacia where we were fighting insurgent natives. I was in the intelligence command, learning how to use manipulation and deceit instead of force.
“I later spent a few years in the Capitol, first as a civil tribune helping manage construction contracts, then as a judicial magistrate, trying fraud cases. I’d love to be back there today in a job like that, because the fraud has swollen to huge proportions and it needs someone like me to deflate it.
“In those years I frequently shared my ideas about imperial policy with Marcus, who was already co-ruling with our uncle as he does today. But we never even discussed the question of my becoming Co-Emperor. I assumed that offer had expired. He listened to me, yet seldom acted on anything I said. It was frustrating. Slowly, my remorse at letting my adolescent pride knock me out of the running for Emperor was becoming unbearable, and I had to escape it somehow.
“In Rome, I met so many merchants and scholars from afar. This increased my life-long fascination with the distant parts of the Empire. So I asked for civilian postings in the eastern provinces. I felt acknowledged and respected when my uncle-father Antoninus gave me powerful positions, first as Legate of Alexandria, then Legate of Judea. It was like a dream come true.”
Samara said, “Well, if we had to have some foreign ruler, I’ll admit I’m glad it’s you.”
Valerius smiled. “I think that was a compliment. I’ve enjoyed both of my posts in the east, and from them, I wrote Marcus scores of letters expressing my growing feelings about how Rome should govern her own people rather than fighting others. He seldom answered, and my frustration grew. Eventually I saw that the wars were becoming ceaseless, and these were wars that as Emperor, I would have ended.
“Samara, don’t you see? Fate drives men to their ends, which are often pitifully distant from what they had set out for.”