“TIME TO WAKE up, Renee. We’re all set up for our chat now.”

The ammonia stench under my nose jerked me out of unconsciousness. It took a few seconds for me to get my bearings. Once the burn of ammonia disappeared, it was replaced by a familiar scent it took me a full minute to recognize.

Traci’s perfume.

The heavy, dull throb in my right jaw reminded me of the last beating I took from Billy, and being knocked out somehow dislodged dark, twisted memories from my past. Things I’d shelved and blamed on others, unwilling to let the truth rumble inside my mind.

Thirty-three years of mental anguish, blocked from my thoughts, only appearing in my nightmares, were free.

I knew why I was here, how all this tied to me, and exactly how I’d use my own dark secret to my advantage. The punch dislodged hidden memories, ones I’d jumbled up inside my mind. The conversation with my mother the night I was sixteen roared back and this time, I remembered it the correct way, rather than how I wanted the truth to be.

I’d been the one who came clean about Dad and Cyndi after coming home from work and listening to Mom sob about being alone. My confession broke Mom’s spirit and drove her to hit the bottle even harder. My mother’s death was on my hands, just like the others.

“Get her into a chair,” Mayor Cayhill barked.

Rough hands untied the rope around my wrists. I knew without looking they belonged to Greenwood. Plastic rustled as he picked me up from Traci’s bed and shoved me onto a chair in the middle of her living room.

Rubbing my sore wrists, I glanced past Greenwood and Cayhill and over at Traci. She stood in the doorway leading to the kitchen, a cigarette in her shaking hands. Her big eyes were wild with fright and determination. Maybe a hint of remorse. Her beauty was overshadowed by her dark intentions. I gave her a wicked grin and said, “I’ve got a new nickname for you. Traci the Twat. Fits you perfectly. Wonder if your aunt Sylvia would approve of you killing me on her property?”

“Hurry up and get this over with,” Traci muttered then turned and disappeared into the dark kitchen.

“Ladies, let’s not be hateful. We are here together to discuss business. No sense in making our time difficult.”

I laughed at the mayor’s words and saw a glint of anger sparkle behind his eyes, “Yep. Politician from head to toe, even when on the cusp of killing someone. Did you use the same tactic on your wife, or just jump her from behind?”

Greenwood tensed up but Cayhill threw his head back and laughed. “You’ve known all along, haven’t you?”

“Actually, no. Not even when Traci tried to pull information from me last night and this morning. Was that your idea, Mayor?”

“It was.”

“Too bad you opted to rely on words rather than pain to get the information you wanted. Not good planning on your part. Abuse victims respond to fear, not kindness. When Greenwood stuck his fist in my face, I remembered things I buried years ago.”

Mayor Cayhill narrowed his eyes while studying my face. A look of surprise beamed on his forehead. “Are you trying to say all this time you didn’t know?”

I smiled. “I’m not trying to say it. I just did.”

“She’s lying, Peyton,” Greenwood interjected.

Cayhill shook his head. “No, Richard, I don’t think she is. Perhaps we miscalculated a few points.”

“Oh, you did. Your first mistake was killing your wife. The second was involving me. The third was framing an innocent man. All because your wife was a whore, Peyton.”

Cayhill stiffened. Greenwood stood but remained in place when the Mayor held up his hand. “Harsh words coming from the likes of you, Ms. Thornton. If your drunk mother could have kept her man satisfied in the bedroom, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Tell me something I don’t already know! Something like why did you wait all this time to kill your wife if you knew about what happened? This all ties back to the land deal, so why risk putting her in the lake? Why didn’t you just make her disappear?”

“You are smarter than I gave you credit for, but you aren’t schooled in the ways of making even nasty situations come out smelling clean. Had I known years ago what my wife had been up to, I would have done something…permanent about it. Alas, I was too caught up in running our lovely city, doing my best to bring in new revenue, to notice she was out spreading her legs all over town.”

“Then I guess you aren’t as smart as what you’ve painted inside your own head,” I said.

“Touché, Ms. Thornton. It hurt me deeply when my beloved Martha broke down and told me the sordid tale. I had just shared with her over dinner the exciting news about the manufacturing plant, and how wonderful it would be to get rid of the county’s eyesore known as Bradford Lake. I’m sure you understand why she became so upset. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the news of her past transgressions very well. I was forced to call in a favor owed to me by Detective Greenwood to help…make things go away. Too bad you decided to end your life that night and discovered her body. That was supposed to happen when the lake was drained. By then, my whoring bride would have been nothing but bones, and her death ruled yet another tragedy at Suicide Lake.”

“Peyton!” Greenwood grumbled. “Enough chatting. Let’s just get this over and done.”

I turned my attention over to Greenwood as the missing piece of the puzzle fell into place. “Your ex-wife didn’t move to California, did she? You killed her and dumped her in the lake, too, and Cayhill knew about it!”

“I said enough!” Greenwood yelled. In seconds, he was across the room and yanked me out of the chair by my arm. “Traci! Give me the pills and some water.”

“Oh, God, I can’t handle this!” Traci moaned from the kitchen.

Dancing close to madness, I laughed so hard tears rolled down my cheeks. “You saved Eleanor’s pills? Brilliant! Good luck forcing me to swallow them.”

“Oh, you will, bitch. You will,” Greenwood muttered. “And trust me, I’ll enjoy shoving them down your throat. Help you finish what you started. It’s all your fault things got screwed up anyway!”

“Wait!” Cayhill yelled. “We need to know what’s she’s told Simpson first.”

“What is…oh, fuck! She’s wired!” Greenwood stuttered. He ripped the pin from my shirt at the same time the back of his hand connected with my head. “Fuck!”

Stunned by the impact of my head slamming into the hardwood, I heard the crunch of Greenwood’s boots crush the recording device. Traci flew from the kitchen, a million questions tumbling from her mouth. Cayhill shoved Greenwood aside, bent down, and grabbed a handful of my hair. Pulling me up from the floor, he shoved his face inches from mine. “Your death will be painful, now, and no one will ever find your body!”

The sound of the front door crashing in barely registered. All my attention was focused on the crazed eyes of the man breathing hard into my face. Though much older and eyes a different color, I saw the same look in Billy’s eyes when he was in a rage-fueled state. Anger and hatred erupted from me. I spit into those ugly eyes while landing a solid kick to the old bastard’s groin. The kick was hard enough to make him let go and I fell back onto the floor.

“Fuck you,” I whispered.

“Hands up, all of you!”

In a rush of footsteps and screaming, it was over. A horde of men in state trooper uniforms burst in, cuffing the deadly trio in seconds. Warm arms scooped me up from the floor, the sweet, worried voice of Cliff cooed to me while carrying me outside.

“Baby, you okay?”

Nodding after he set me down in the front seat of his truck, I glanced around. Traci’s yard was crammed full of numerous undercover cop cars, not one of them with lights on. The look of terror on Cliff’s face for my safety was almost funny. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. “Took you long enough,” I muttered.

Too shaken to respond, Cliff shut the door and ran around the truck. I heard him mumble something to another officer before opening the door. Once inside the cab, he gunned the engine and took off.

“I’m taking you to the hospital. Told the detective he’d just have to wait until tomorrow to question you. Then, you’re coming home with me. No arguments.”

Leaning my head against the neck rest, I sighed and didn’t offer one up.

 

 

“I’M FINE, ELEANOR. Really. A little sore and a lot tired but fine. Just a slight concussion and some bruises. Please, go get some rest.”

Eleanor sat at the edge of Cliff’s bed, clutching my hand like I was a balloon about to float away. I wanted to kick Cliff for calling her but he insisted. Again, I didn’t argue because I knew he was right. She’d hear the news from someone else and flip out. Better to hear it from Cliff with assurances I was fine.

“Cliff made up the bed in the guestroom, so if you need me, I’ll be right across the hall.”

“Thank you. I won’t. Promise. In ten minutes, I’ll be out.”

Eleanor stood as Cliff walked in. She walked over and hugged him tight, muttering something in his ear. Though I couldn’t hear what she said, it must have been something sentimental because Cliff blushed.

Once she was gone, Cliff eased himself down next to me. Opening his arms wide, I snuggled up against his chest.

“You’re safe now, Renee. It’s all over. Sleep, my love.”

Cliff fell asleep before I did. In the dark, I closed my eyes and listened to the beat of his heart and each steady, rhythmic breath. The events of the evening tried to overtake my mind, but I pushed the hatefulness away. Instead, I focused on what a blessing Cliff’s presence in my life turned out to be.

What we had now went way beyond kindness shown to an old friend, or stolen kisses between two adults attempting to rekindle a teenage romance. Cliff followed his instincts and saved me, even though I pushed him away several times. He could have just given up and never come back to me.

But he didn’t.

And that meant more to me than I would ever be able to express to him, because it had never happened to me before. The man never blinked, never wavered, even when I told him the dark, ugly secrets of my past.

Soaking in the warmth of his body, I felt my mind drift, wondering what it would be like to sleep next to him after making love. Was this what my life could be like now? Forever? Would this bond last if he knew…everything?

 

 

I KNEW I was dreaming the moment I stepped forward and didn’t feel the damp grass from an earlier rain shower under my bare feet. Instead of fighting to wake myself up as I’d done for over thirty-six years, I let the dream unfold—just like it happened.

The moon was full and bright, the rays casting silver shimmers like pretty stardust across the top of the water. It was late summer and the night air heavy with humidity. The sweet perfume of magnolias and honeysuckle tickled my nose as I watched, crouched in the shadows.

The three bodies were tangled together, writhing naked on top of one of Mom’s sheets the cheating bastard stole from the closet. The things they were doing to each other made me sick to my stomach. I’d caught my parents once making love when I woke up from thunder booming outside and ran to their bedroom.

What the three in front of me were doing wasn’t sweet, or romantic, or even understandable. It was disturbing and vile.

And it angered me.

Mom loved him with all she had. Every single fiber in Caroline Clark’s being vibrated and lived for Raymond Thornton. The way she took care of him, kept the house, fixed decent meals on a shoestring budget. The way her eyes lit up when he walked in from work, like he was Prince Charming arriving on his white horse, ready to sweep her off her feet.

Mom’s eyes had taken on a new look. A wounded, heartbroken one when she broke down and cried earlier at the kitchen table after a terrible fight with Daddy. I didn’t hear what they said, only the angry tones in both their voices. When things quieted down, I peeked out my bedroom door and saw Daddy take one of Mom’s sheets and leave.

“I’m going to the lake, Caroline. Gotta clear my head,” he’d yelled before starting up his bike.

I’d gone to the kitchen to check on Mom. Her lovely eyes clouded over with tears as she told me she feared we’d have to move soon because Daddy wouldn’t be around much longer.

“Daddy loves someone else, Renee. Not me! He’ll make us leave soon, and I don’t know where we’ll go. I can’t afford rent somewhere else.”

Mom didn’t say anymore. She couldn’t, because she’d passed out from too much alcohol, leaving me alone and terrified in the house.

Not for long.

I went to the garage, grabbed my bicycle, and the tire iron on Daddy’s workbench. I kept to the dark shadows and away from the streetlights while peddling as fast as my legs would go. By the time I made it to Bradford Lake, it was dark.

Clutching the tire iron like a club, ignoring the mosquitoes biting me, I watched Daddy touch and poke the two sluts while they groaned and giggled. The blonde one sitting on Daddy’s face I recognized as Cyndi Roberston. The other one with the dark, mahogany hair, had her face buried in Daddy’s crotch.

Cyndi stood, took a drink from a wine bottle, and stumbled away from the others. “You’re wearing me out, Raymond! I’m sweating like crazy! Let me go rinse off real quick and I’ll be right back. You take care of him while I’m gone, sweetie. Save some of that tongue action for me!”

Cyndi bobbed and weaved her way across the grass until she made it to the dock. When she passed my hiding spot, I didn’t breathe. I waited until I heard her run down to the end of the boardwalk and the rustle of the water before I stood and followed.

Clouds rolled over the moon just as Cyndi put her hands on the dock to pull herself out of the water. I wasn’t going to let this woman ruin my mom’s life, so I took my stance, tire iron above my head like a baseball bat.

Once Cyndi was out of the water yet still on her belly, I smashed her head in. The dull thud and small oomph she let out barely registered in my ears. She quit making any noise after the fifth time I hit her, so I left her and ran back to my hiding spot.

I didn’t have to wait long for Daddy to come looking for her. He screamed when he got to the edge of the dock and saw what was left of his whore. He was so concerned about her—rather than me and Mom like he should be—he fell down and cried while trying to pick her up.

He didn’t hear me coming, either.

It took eight swings to make him stop yelling.

Both of them were heavy so it took me a bit to push them off the edge of the dock into the water.

“Oh, my God! What have you done!”

The other woman stood at the edge of the lake. She was dressed now in a thin, sleeveless cotton dress, her exposed skin as white as though she were a ghost. She didn’t run to help the two she’d spent so much intimate time with earlier. Instead, she stared at me for a split second before turning and running through the woods.

I made the decision not to chase her down. She was on foot, a long way from town, and she didn’t see my face long enough to give a good description. Just to be safe in case she did run for help, I ran to Daddy’s bike, took the sheet and the remaining clothes, and wrapped them up tight around the handlebars. Then I pushed the bike down the boardwalk until it fell off the edge and joined Daddy and Cyndi.

Mom always said Bradford Lake was deep and dangerous and the boardwalk would lead to oblivion if someone fell off it.

She was right.

 

 

I WOKE UP with a start, my entire body covered in sweat. For a second, I didn’t know where I was until Cliff stirred next to me.

“Shh, baby, I’m here.”

He followed the murmur by pulling me tighter to his chest. Tears ran down my face, soaking his chest in seconds. The need to wake him and come clean about my father competed with the urge to keep quiet and not ruin the one and only good thing I’d ever experienced in my life. Inside my mind, I cursed Detective Dick. Had he not knocked loose memories I didn’t want to recall, I wouldn’t be a bundle of nerves while trying to come to grips with the truth about the night I was thirteen.

Yes, I’d committed murder. Twice. Would have killed the third person that night as well had she not run away. Knowing her identity now made me shudder. Martha kept the secret all these years as well, then panicked when Peyton told her the lake was to be drained. God, so much deceit and lies!

No, I wouldn’t tell Cliff. Some secrets were best kept hidden beneath Suicide Lake.