‘Madeline, darling, why don’t you wear your hair up for school today? There’s too much of it to leave flying around your head like that.’ Jayne Sterling’s voice had the tone she always adopted whenever she was in a frantic hurry, which was most of the time. And her towering heels tapping across the porcelain tiles sounded like a metronome on steroids.
Maddi looked up from her iPhone, her sense of solitude disintegrating into the air. She watched her mother at the kitchen window tossing one vitamin pill after another into her mouth, sipping and swallowing, sipping and swallowing. Her blond blunt-cut rested with faultless precision on the straight shoulders of her red suit, corporately snug on her exercised frame. Her legs, like those of a racehorse, were badly streaked at the back with fake tan. This was Jayne Sterling’s standard dress seven days a week. Even the fake tan was standard. Regardless of the season, Jayne’s skin was perpetually tawny, including her face. Maddi often wondered how her mother could possibly think having skin the colour of potters’ clay looked attractive, especially during winter.
‘I have a frantic day today as usual,’ Jayne continued, tapping her way into the pantry and emerging with a handful of muesli bars and a banana, which she dropped into her giant Prada bag. ‘Two open inspections, a stack of ads to write, three evaluations and three howdy doodie meetings with new clients, not to mention an endless stream of emails and phone calls.’ She sighed and bent to kiss Maddi on the cheek. ‘Be good. I’ll see you tonight. If you get hungry before I’m home there’s lasagne and salad in the fridge.’ She flashed her porcelain caps at Maddi and made her way out of the kitchen, almost bumping into her husband. ‘I’m off, Andrew. I’ll see you at the office,’ she said, stopping to give him a perfunctory peck on the cheek.
Maddi’s father meandered in, his salt and pepper hair combed back, his still square jaw freshly shaven. He bent and kissed Maddi’s cheek, ‘Morning, gorgeous.’ Slipped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed.
‘Hey, Dad.’ Maddi slid from the stool at the island bench and ambled towards the sink, placing her cereal bowl in the dishwasher and watching her father drop to his knees to shuffle through a pile of newspapers in the garbage cupboard.
‘I hope Alex is at school today,’ she said.
‘Mm? What’s that, darling?’ Finally finding the paper he had been searching for, Andrew pulled himself to his feet again. ‘Alex. Oh yes, I hope so too. The sooner she puts this awful thing behind her and gets on with her life, the better,’ he said, reading the rescued paper as he wandered over to spread it open on the glass dining table.
‘Mm,’ Maddi said, grabbing up her iPhone from the island bench, checking again for messages and making her way out of the kitchen. There was no way she wanted to discuss philosophical issues with her father at this time of the morning, especially on matters like teenage trauma, about which he was totally ignorant. She just wished he would ask her something for once, instead of always telling her.
Once in her room, she checked her phone again to find there were still no messages or missed calls from Alex. Dropping the phone onto her doona she headed into her bathroom and brushed her teeth, studying her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was best down, no matter how full, how unruly. Her mother didn’t possess up-to-date fashion sense anyway. Why should she listen to her? Her thoughts slid back to Alex then – back to their phone discussions over the three days that had passed since her friend’s attack. ‘Greg keeps saying I have to get back on the horse,’ Alex had told her. ‘Like it’s so easy for me to ignore everything that’s happened and just wander back into school and normal life again,’ she’d said, the tears building in her voice. ‘Maddi, I don’t think I can take all the sneers and snickers from the trolls at school. They’ll be like psycho freakin’ bloodhounds.’
‘Greg’s right,’ she had told her friend. ‘The longer you leave it, the harder it’ll be. You can’t stay away from school forever. Do that, and it’s a certain trip to no job, no money, your parents will have total control over your life forever, for Chrissakes.’ They had both laughed at the horror of it before lapsing into silence. ‘I will be there with you every minute. We’ll just ignore them,’ Maddi had said softly.
She spat into the hand basin now and rinsed her mouth. Studied her hair in the mirror again and wondered, as she had wondered countless times before, whether she should dye it brown or perhaps Goth black. Anything but the red she had inherited from her grandfather. Finally she gathered her curls into a bunch and tied them back, darkened her fair lashes with mascara and smeared clear gloss onto her lips. There was a strict school code about no makeup, but other girls wore far more than she did and got away with it.
Slipping her arms into her backpack, Maddi rushed out of her room and along the carpeted corridor, aware she was running late and finally facing the reality that she would be spending yet another lonely day at school without her best friend. She realised it would be a totally selfish thing to nag Alex about returning to school just because she missed her. She had to be patient. Wait until Alex decided she was ready.
‘Bye, Dad,’ she said running into the kitchen and kissing his cheek, recoiling at the potency of his aftershave.
‘Bye, gorgeous. Have a good day,’ he said without looking up from his paper and coffee.
‘Do you have a good day planned?’ Maddi asked, taking a carton of juice from the refrigerator.
‘Huh? Oh yeah – not bad.’
Shaking her juice and piercing the top with the straw, Maddi wished that just once he would ask her what she had planned for her day. Then she reminded herself that her parents owned the second largest real estate company in the state. They did their best for her, despite being so busy. Her mother had purposely not worked in the business until Maddi had started school. She had a good life, and now she was older she should not expect to be the centre of theirs, she told herself.
Running most of the way she caught a lucky break in the heavy traffic, meaning she covered the twelve-minute trip in just over six. She had just scuttled through the large iron front gates overarched with the familiar ‘King’s College’ when her phone vibrated inside the pocket of her tartan skirt. Seeing the name of the caller she could not suppress her smile. ‘Hey Alex.’ She said slowing down to saunter past the imposing Victorian mansion that was the school’s administration building. ‘Are you coming to school today?’ She crossed the lawn towards the double-storey red brick building that housed several classrooms, including hers and Alex’s.
‘I’m here already, at the rotunda. Can you meet me so we can walk in together?’
‘Sure.’ Her smile widening, Maddi dropped her phone into her pocket and ran back towards the entrance, deviating over manicured lawns towards the grey rotunda squatting amid slate retaining walls, lush shrubs and giant winter-bare trees wearing the first buds of spring. It took a moment before she spotted Alex in the shadows of the rotunda, as though hiding from the world.
She ran up the two steps and across the timber decking, taking Alex into a hug. ‘It’s sooo awesome you’re here. Come on, let’s go,’ she squealed.
‘I’m scared, Maddi,’ Alex said in merely a whisper, refusing to budge. ‘Everyone’s going to stare at me. And we both know what they’ll be saying.’
‘That is not true. I told you, everyone is really worried about you, Alex. Like, everyone is really upset about what happened to you.’ Maddi had lost count of how many times she’d said those words to Alex over the past three days. She grabbed her hand. ‘Come on, I’m going. If you want us to walk in together you have to come now.’
The moment Alex and Maddi entered the spacious home classroom the buzz of students preparing for first lesson faded to silence. Ms Hosking looked up from her desk and rushed to them, placing her hands on Alex’s shoulders and scrutinising her face, her own expression dramatically twisted with sympathy. ‘We are all glad to see you back, Alex . . . aren’t we, class?’ she said loudly.
A mild jumble of responses lingered for a moment before morphing once again into the usual morning banter. Maddi surveyed the tables seating four or five students each, relieved to see no one was staring at her friend. Now that the initial shock of the tragedy had passed, she surmised everything had returned back to normal. She hoped the ‘A Team’, as she and Alex called them, would give Alex a break for at least a couple of days.
Ms Hosking took Alex gently by the shoulder. ‘Now, girls, go settle at your desk. Hudson and Heath have tidied it for you, haven’t you, boys?’ She glanced over at the table Alex and Maddi shared with the two boys who were now seated with bored expressions. ‘You and I will have a little chat at recess, Alex,’ Ms Hoskins said with a conspiratorial wink, before heading back to her desk.
The morning seemed to drag by. Maddi watched her friend struggle – sometimes going pale for no apparent reason, other times seemingly retreating into a world of her own. She tried to imagine what it would be like to be walking home along the same familiar route, to have always taken safety for granted, and then to have your safety snatched away from you out of nowhere by someone bigger and more powerful than you, someone who still remained a mystery, who could still be lurking in shadows. Maddi wondered if Alex would ever feel safe again. She had hoped Alex’s chat with Ms Hosking would cheer her up, or at least bring her back to earth just a little. But after morning recess and Ms Hosking’s so-called pep talk Alex had returned to her desk as dour and flat as before.
At lunchtime, as they sauntered across the dappled lawns towards the rotunda, Alex seemed to brighten a little amid the birds’ incessant chirping. Small clusters of students eating lunch dotted the green expanse, but the rotunda was miraculously empty. As they settled on the bench seat, Maddi noticed with almost palpable relief that Alex was smiling as she unwrapped her lunch.
‘Bruno has been really weird since the attack,’ she said. ‘He’s been stealing my dirty socks, my knickers and bras.’ She bit into her salad roll.
Maddi laughed. ‘Eeewww. That’s disgusting.’
Alex nodded. Pulled a shred of lettuce from her roll and put it in her mouth. ‘I researched it. Dogs do that for the scent when they’re feeling anxious or lonely.’ She turned suddenly to Maddi her forehead crinkled with concern. ‘Do you think Bruno’s brain has been screwed up by finding me in the lane?’
‘Has he ever taken your stuff before?’ Maddi asked, biting into her chicken sandwich.
Alex pondered the question. ‘Sometimes. But not as often as now . . . Greg’s been really weird since I was attacked as well. Like he’s always in a bad mood now.’
Maddi was about to tell Alex to stop worrying when Chloe and her Year 11 mates, the A Team stepped up and stood in the wide entrance to the rotunda, their sombre expressions and the mass of their navy and beige uniforms creating an intimidating air of solidarity. Maddi stopped sipping her juice and braced for a barrage of catty remarks.
‘Sorry to hear about what happened to you, Alex,’ Chloe said, while the others nodded in unison. ‘That was a bummer. Are you OK now?’
Alex swallowed her mouthful, and it took her a moment to answer. ‘Yeah. I’m better now, thanks.’
Chloe smiled and gave a decisive nod. ‘Good.’ The other girls mumbled varied forms of agreement and they all ambled away.
‘Did that really happen?’ Alex said.
Maddi smiled. ‘I told you everyone was on your side.’
Maddi sensed her friend was at last more like herself by the time they had finished their lunch and several other students had wandered by and smiled sympathetically or waved. They were gathering up their lunch litter, about to wander back to class, when Maddi looked up to see their science teacher, Mr Fuller, strolling towards them, his hands deep in the pockets of his old man pants, which flapped like sails in the breeze. And as usual he wore a bowtie – yellow, this time – which up against his white shirt reminded Maddi of a poached egg. Maddi could never understand why some of the kids, including Alex, thought he was hot. ‘Here comes old Fullavit.’
‘Don’t call him that,’ Alex said, glancing up in his direction, her empty juice container dropping from agitated hands before she quickly picked it up again. ‘Oh my God,’ she whispered moments later, when it became apparent Mr Fuller was heading towards them.
‘Hello, girls,’ he said.
Maddi did not bother to reply, unable to tolerate his cheesy grin.
‘Hi,’ Alex said, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear.
‘I heard what happened, Alex. It was dreadful news . . . I’m very sorry,’ Mr Fuller drawled.
‘That’s OK,’ Alex muttered with a faint smile.
He grinned, his eyebrows jumping like caterpillars. ‘I’ll walk with you.’
Maddi wished he wouldn’t. But as they stepped out of the rotunda and made their way along the paved walkway towards the classrooms, she could see Alex was thrilled by his presence.
‘How are you feeling now?’ he said to Alex.
‘I feel much better, thanks.’
Mr Fuller cleared his throat. ‘It may be hard for you to talk about it, but do the police have any idea who did this to you?’
Maddi could not fathom his expression – a mixture of exaggerated sympathy and chilling curiosity.
Alex shook her head. ‘Not yet, but they are going to a lot of trouble to find him.’
‘Well, let’s hope they find him soon. Keep well, Alex,’ he said, issuing a particularly cheesy smile before breaking into a half-run towards the administration building, his shoes crunching along the gravel path, his pants flapping.
Maddi waited for Alex to say something, but she seemed to have lapsed into a euphoric twilight state. ‘What was that about?’ Maddi finally asked.
Alex shrugged. ‘I don’t know. He’s just being caring, I guess,’ she said, a red rash spreading up her neck.
Maddi shook her head and sneered. ‘He gives me the creeps. I don’t know what the hell you see in him.’