Blair and Vanessa move their stuff from the sorority room they’ve shared for the past three years to our apartment. They don’t have much in the way of living or kitchen stuff, so aside from their rooms finally being used, the only difference is the excitement it brings to the place. It’s like the most epic slumber party ever that never has to end.
Wes and Mario have been here practically all day, something I realize quickly I’m going to have to get used to. I didn’t just get two new roommates, I basically got four.
I try and picture what it’d be like if instead of being the fifth wheel, Zeke were here. The thought is pleasant until reality smacks me in the face. Regular classes are done, graduation is next weekend, and Zeke is leaving to go God knows where.
An incoming text pulls me from my thoughts and a spark of excitement jolts through me that Zeke has reached out. He left yesterday morning and aside from a text that he’d arrived, I haven’t heard from him. Not that I expected to, it’s just I miss him. God, I’m lame.
It’s not Zeke, though, it’s Nathan. We haven’t hung out much since the lake and the funny memes he used to send almost daily have all but stopped. I’ve been giving him space in case that’s what he needs, but I miss my friend.
Nathan: Party tonight at the rugby house. Come with? I miss my Gabs!
Me: Love to! Miss you too.
I excuse myself from the lovebirds and retreat to my bedroom. I have the mother of all headaches, probably from two nights with hardly any sleep. I pop a couple Motrin and head for the shower.
I take a little extra care with my hair, makeup, and wardrobe in hopes that’ll put that extra bounce in my step tonight. I’m excited to hang with Nathan and desperately praying we can go back to being friends. I miss him, but with the pounding in my head not relenting, I’m starting to wish I could just stay in and take it easy tonight.
Nathan picks me up outside my apartment.
“Gabs!” he calls out of his open window. “Hop in.”
Shaw leans forward from the passenger side and waves, a bottle of Seagram’s 7 in the other hand.
“Hey, guys.”
I get in the back and Shaw offers me the bottle which I wave off. “No thanks. I’ve got a killer headache.”
Nathan drives us to a small house about a block away from the baseball house.
“Do all the jocks live around here?”
“The ones that don’t live in the dorms,” Shaw offers.
“I think I picked the wrong neighborhood to live in.”
The music sounds twice as loud as usual and when Nathan offers me a cup, I shake my head. Shaw wanders off and I stick to Nathan’s side. Nathan is well-known and well-liked, so we stop a lot to say hello to people. I’m even starting to recognize a few faces and be recognized, which is fun. I feel less like the awkward new girl.
“Wanna hit the dance floor?” Nathan asks and points to where people are dancing in the middle of the back yard.
“I don’t think I’m up for it.”
“I’m sorry. Anything I can do? Do you wanna go inside where it’s quieter?”
His kindness makes me feel like a total buzzkill. “You know what, screw it.” I grab his hand and pull him to the dance floor.
It’s not my level best effort, but I find a rhythm that doesn’t make the stabbing pain in the front of my head any worse.
“It’s good to hang with you again,” he says, leaning in so I can hear him over the music. “Sorry I screwed it up there for a while.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” I bite down on my lip and summon the courage to say the thing that’s been on my mind since that night on the boat. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I love spending time with you, truly.”
He stops my awkward ramblings. “You didn’t. I just got caught up in all the coupling up going on at The White House. First Wes, then Joel. Everyone is settling down.”
“You want a girlfriend?”
He blushes, grabs my hand, and spins me around to the beat of the song. “Is that so surprising?”
“Actually, yes. You spend every night partying and drinking, which is totally fine, but it doesn’t exactly scream ‘I’m ready to settle down.’”
His jaw flexes and he nods. Before I can comment further on his love life, he turns the tables on me. “What about you and Zeke? I swear I never thought I’d see the day that guy cared about anything but ball.”
“It’s casual,” I insist and turn to the side so he can’t see the blush on my face.
“Maybe, but it’s been a trip to see Zeke get knocked on his ass.”
“Have you heard from him since he left?”
“No. I doubt he’s had time to even look at his phone. The combine is intense. The guys get measured, weighed, they run drills, scrimmage. All in front of coaches and scouts from every NBA team in the league. It’s gotta be extra intense for Zeke coming in as the expected number one pick. Everyone is gunning for him. It’s lonely at the top – or so I hear.”
I realize I haven’t bothered to ask Zeke a lot of questions about everything happening with him. Our interactions have been all about me and things I want to do. He said that just because what we’re doing is casual that it was still special and he was right, but I’ve done a shitty job of showing it.
Simone dances up beside us and Nathan and I pull back so we can say hello. She wraps her arms around his neck, and they hug. The moment to myself allows my headache to remind me it’s still very much there. Also, I really want to go call Zeke. Even if I have to leave a message, I want to tell him I’m proud of him and excited for his future. He deserves to hear that.
“Hey, Nathan.” I tug on his arm and flash Simone a smile. “I’m gonna take off. This headache won’t give up.”
“Do you want me to come with?”
“No, of course not. Stay and enjoy the party. I’m just gonna go home and go to bed. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I get two steps away when I pull out my phone and realize the battery is dead. Nathan and Simone are still in the same spot, so I interrupt them again. “Sorry, my phone is dead. Can I use yours to call a ride?”
Nathan pulls his keys from his front jeans pocket. “Take my car.”
I hesitate and he presses them into my hand. I mumble my thanks and he turns back to Simone completely oblivious to the war in my head. Blair and Z are the only ones that know I don’t drive. Honestly, it’s not a hard thing to avoid when everyone is always piling in together or taking an Uber.
As I walk out of the party and toward Nathan’s car, the keys feel heavy in my hand. I weigh my options. I could run back inside, borrow a phone and call a cab, or hell, I could call Blair, she’d come, I know she would, but it’s starting to feel a little pathetic having her chauffeur me around.
Inhaling and letting out a deep breath, I unlock the car and get in. I make all the necessary adjustments to the seat and the mirrors and then start the engine. The music is blasting from our drive over and I turn it off so I can focus. No distractions.
“You can do this. It’s like riding a bike,” I talk to myself out loud in the empty car.
Before I can psych myself out, I put it in drive and pull away from the curb. My heart races and I focus on breathing. I don’t even look at the speedometer to know I’m going well below the twenty-five mile per hour limit.
There aren’t a lot of cars out so the closer I get to my place, the more I relax. I start to smile when I’m in the final mile. Only one stoplight is between me and my final destination and it’s green. Feels like a literal sign that I should be going for it more.
I can’t wait to get home and call Zeke. I want to ask him all about his day and tell him I drove. I can almost hear his voice congratulating me. I don’t know why making Zeke proud fills me with such happiness, but I’m not about to dissect it now. Ten and two, Gabby.
The light turns yellow right before I get to the intersection and I hesitate, panic taking over as I try and decide between slamming on the brakes and increasing my speed. At the last second, I decide on the first. The car skids to a stop as the light turns red and I let out a shaky breath of relief. But only for a second do I breathe easy. Squealing tires has my body going rigid and I brace for the impact my brain hasn’t even acknowledged. And then everything moves forward.