Playing basketball was never about fame or money, or anything really except for the feeling like it was where I belonged. I’ve played in hundreds of basketball games, but it never gets old. The adrenaline, the grueling mental and physical stress, the wins and even the losses – I’ve loved every second of all of it.
Today is the NBA draft and I’ve imagined this day, every day, for the past four years. Maybe longer.
“The cameras won’t go live until they announce your name. I think you’ll go number two or three. New York hasn’t given me a great feeling since the combine.”
Burned that bridge. I wish I could say it hadn’t been worth it, but that’d just be a straight-up lie.
I catch sight of Gabby across the room talking to Blair. She looks even more nervous than I feel. She catches my eye and lifts her champagne to me with a smile.
“Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”
Sara’s staring at her phone, so she just nods as I step away. “Draft starts in five minutes.”
“Hey, can I steal her?” I ask Blair and reach for Gabby.
In answer to my question, Blair reaches up and places a kiss on my cheek and walks away.
“Fancy event you got here.” Gabby hoists the flute up again.
“Joel can’t keep anything simple.”
“Are you nervous?”
“A little.”
Gabby places her hand in mine and tips her head to the left. “Have you talked to Nathan?”
I glance in that direction to see Nathan holding up a wall with a bottle of water in his hands. “Nah, not in a few weeks. Is he okay? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so subdued at a party.”
“Bros before hos. I can’t tell you or I’d be violating friendship code.”
I lift a brow. “Did you just call me a ho?”
“Okay, I’m telling you this only because he never will, but if he asks it wasn’t me that told you.”
I nod in agreement.
“He’s sad you’re leaving. I don’t know what all went down between you two, but I think he needs to know you aren’t going to run off and forget about him.”
I’m skeptical that’s it, but I don’t contradict her. “Alright. I’ll talk to him.”
She looks at me with a blank expression like she’s calling my bluff.
“Alright, alright. I’ll talk to him right now.”
She kisses my cheek. “You’re a good guy, Zeke.”
I watch her walk off before I amble toward him. “What’s happening, man?”
“Hey!” He straightens and plasters a smile on his face. “Congratulations. The big day is finally here.”
“Yeah, finally. What’s new with you?” I’m cursing Gabby as we both stand here awkward as hell making small talk.
Nathan narrows his gaze and tilts his head up at me. “Why are you being weird?” I look to Gabby and he follows my gaze. “She put you up to this?”
“She might have mentioned you seemed a little off.”
He shakes his head. “I’m fine. Gabby is making something out of nothing. You don’t have to feel obligated to check in on me just because Gabby is worried.”
“I don’t feel obligated at all.”
“I’m good. Really.”
“Alright. I’ll take your word for it.” I look to Gabby. “How’s she been? Wild and crazy as ever?”
“Gabby?” Nathan shakes his head. “Nah, not really. She’s taking some classes on campus and working a lot. I think wild Gabby left when you did.”
The thought that she’s not still crossing items off her list makes me sad, though I can’t say I’m not glad she’s keeping out of trouble when I’m not there to look out for her.
Sara calls my name from across the room and motions me toward her.
“Looks like it’s time for your big moment.”
“Guess so.” I take a step and then pause. “Come with me. My mom isn’t here and Gabby refuses to be on camera, it’d be nice to have someone sitting next to me when they call my name.”
“Seriously? Won’t Sara and the camera guy be annoyed to have some nobody in the shot with you?”
“Not a nobody.” I put my arm around his shoulder and squeeze. “My former teammate and friend.”
If you’d asked me a year ago what the first thing I’d do after being selected third in the NBA Draft I would have said, first off why wasn’t I the first or second pick and secondly, what time does practice start? But when the commissioner calls my name, the room erupts in cheers and I can’t move.
The guy holding the camera steps closer, Nathan bumps my shoulder and screams, “Hell yeah!” and Sara tosses a Suns hat on my head and thrusts a jersey in my direction. I don’t ask her if she had a hat and jersey ready for every team. I don’t ask her, or anyone else, anything.
The room sort of spins and I wish I had my headphones on, tune it all out. It’s not that I’m ungrateful, I just want a second to let it sink in. Be alone with my own thoughts.
One voice breaks through the noise and I find Gabby standing a few feet away. She’s smiling big, genuine happiness written all over her pretty face. I stand and go to her, hug her tightly and lift her in my arms. Everything else fades away like it always does when she’s near.
She doesn’t hesitate, even though I’m sure she wants to with the camera following my every move. Instead, she buries her face in my neck. “I’m so happy for you, Zeke. Congratulations.”
She pulls back and straightens the hat so it sits right on my head. “Purple and orange are good colors on you.”
“I love you.” My voice is low, though it’s not because I don’t want anyone to know. I’m ready to scream it from the rooftops, but the shock of realizing it has stolen the oxygen from my lungs.
“What?” She turns her head as if she didn’t hear me, but her eyes are like saucers.
Sara clears her throat behind me, and Gabby pulls away. There are a few posed pictures of me holding up my new jersey and then Sara shoves her phone in my hand and tells me my new coach is waiting to talk to me.
“Congratulations, Zeke,” he says, his voice booming through the phone. “Looking forward to having you here in Phoenix with us.”
“Me too, sir.”
“We’ve got some temporary housing near the practice facilities until you get settled, but Sara can give you all that information when you get here tomorrow. Tonight, just enjoy.”
Tomorrow. It’s finally just one day away.
I hand the phone back to Sara and then am met with my friends and teammates, patting my back and congratulating me. Even Coach Daniels made it tonight and he pulls me into a big hug.
“Congratulations, son. It was a privilege to coach you. The Suns are lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
It feels like hours before I get done talking to everyone and can sneak away to find Gabby. Blair points me in the right direction with no words, just a knowing smile. Vanessa whispers, “She’s hiding in the powder room.”
There are like eight bathrooms in this mansion, but I start with the closest one. I knock twice. “Gabby?”
“Just a minute. I’m… powdering my nose.”
“Let me in, beautiful girl. You don’t need powder.”
A few seconds later, the bathroom door opens an inch. I push in and find Gabby red-nosed and tears streaming down her face. Alright, so powder wouldn’t be totally unreasonable.
“You’re crying. What’s wrong?”
“I’m just so happy for you.” Her cries turn to sobs.
“So these are happy tears then?” I smirk and wipe one away with the pad of my thumb.
She nods, pulling her lips into a tight line and her eyes welling with fresh tears waiting to spill over.
“Liar,” I tease and pull her tight against me. With her face buried in my chest, she lets go of the emotions she was holding back, wraps her arms around me, and cries until my shirt is soaked with evidence of her “happy tears.”
“I am happy for you,” she mumbles into me without moving away so the sound is muffled.
“I know you are.” I smooth her hair away from her face and tilt her head up. “Tell me why you’re crying?”
“Because I’m sad you’re leaving.” Her face contorts with her anguish. “Which makes me a horrible person. I’m so happy for you,” she repeats for the nine hundredth time. “It’s not the same without you here. I miss you so much every single day.” She swipes at tears. “God, I’m sorry. We can hang until you leave. Oooh, maybe it’ll even make it more exciting trying to cram in a month worth of sex in a few days.”
“I leave tonight.”
“Tonight? I thought you’d have the weekend at least.”
“They want me up there as soon as possible. I was gonna swing by and get my stuff and then head up there, but I could stay tonight, and we could celebrate, just the two of us.”
“No, don’t be ridiculous. Of course, you should go tonight. Plus, we’re sort of at your celebration. Speaking of, we need to get you back out there.”
“Gabby?” I reach for her hand to stop her from blowing by me. Once we get back out there in the crowd of our friends, I’m afraid I won’t get another chance to talk to her.
When she faces me, I see everything I ever wanted right in front of me. I made one dream come true and all I need for this day to be perfect is her by my side. “Come with me.”
“What?”
“There are tons of colleges up there just as good or better than Valley. We can spend every night trying a new position or crossing something off your list, we’ll make new lists if that’s what you want.”
“I think the champagne has made me hallucinate, it sounded like you just asked me to move to Phoenix with you.”
“I am in love with you, Gabby. And if the amount of tears springing out of your eyes is any indication, I think you love me too. So, come with me.”
“I can’t just move with you. I just got here. Valley has been my dream forever and I have the apartment, Blair...”
“Yeah, I know.” I shove my hands in my pocket.
“This is silly.” She wipes her eyes again. “You’re only going to be a couple hours away. It’s not like you’re moving across the country. We can keep it what it is – casual and fun whenever we have time.”
“Gabby,” I plead. She knows as well as I do that after tonight, things are going to be different.
She shakes her head and places a finger to my lips. “What we had was amazing and fun and I’ll remember it forever, but it was always supposed to end just like this with you getting drafted and continuing to do what you love and me staying in Valley to finally start my life.”
The smile she flashes at me seems genuine and I wonder how I got this all wrong. I thought things had changed somewhere along the line, but maybe they just changed for me. Maybe the tears aren’t because she loves me. You can be sad someone is leaving without loving them, right?
Gabby came into my life like a wrecking ball and simultaneously tore down everything I believed about what I wanted while inspiring me to want so much more. I got everything I ever wanted tonight, but leaving without her feels bittersweet.
“Let’s get you out there, big guy,” she says in a playful voice and I follow her without protest.