“Gabby, honey, I say this with love, but enough with this movie.” Vanessa closes my laptop on the end of the bed and then sniffs the air. “Also, something smells awful in here.” She sits next to me and gives me a sad look. “Come here.”
Vanessa isn’t much of a hugger, so the fact she’s offering to hug me only makes me feel worse, but I sit up and lean into her embrace anyway.
“Oh God, it’s that shirt you’re wearing. Gross, Gabby. You need to shower and change clothes immediately.” She pulls back after two small pats. Worst hug ever.
“It smells like Zeke.” I lift the neck of the shirt and bring it to my nose.
“It smells like sweaty balls and sadness.” She stands and points. “Shower. Now.”
“I don’t want to shower his scent off me yet.”
She leaves and I grab my laptop and re-start the movie. Maverick and Goose are singing “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” and I can almost hear Zeke singing along. I’ve been watching this movie for the better part of thirty-six hours.
They’ve barely gotten to the chorus before there’s loud knocking and then Wes and Mario enter. Wes is covering his eyes. “Uhh, sorry Gabby, but we’re under strict instructions to get you out of your room.”
“She’s not naked, man. You don’t have to cover your eyes.” Mario nudges his arm and Wes drops his hand and then my best friends’ boyfriends are staring down at me from the side of my bed with matching guilty expressions.
“It’s nothing personal. You understand,” Mario says and then he makes the first move, lifting my arm over his shoulder gently and lifting me. Wes gets the other side and I don’t even bother fighting because I know their love for their girlfriends outweighs any rebuttal I might offer.
They deposit me in the bathroom and even go so far as to start the shower for me. Then we all stand there awkwardly until they leave and close the door.
With a sigh, I undress and step under the warm spray of water. I miss Zeke and also I’m mad at him. How dare he drop the L-bomb just as he’s about to leave. It changes everything. It turns our casual fun into something more serious, and how exactly would that work?
I can’t move there, drop my life and go with him. That’s just not the kind of thing rational girls do these days.
When I’ve used up all the hot water, I get out and pull Zeke’s shirt back over my head. It really does stink, but there’s just the faintest hint of his scent left, so I keep it on. In my room, Vanessa and Blair have torn off my sheets and are re-making the bed with fresh linens, and I think someone sprayed Febreeze. I grab underwear and shorts and then throw myself on the newly made bed.
“We’re going out,” Vanessa informs me. “Girl’s night.”
“I don’t feel like it.”
“You said you wanted the full college experience. Tonight Phi Kappa Theta is having a slip and slide party. It’s as college as it gets.”
I search for any bit of excitement, but I can’t summon it. “I’d rather stay in and watch a movie or something.”
Blair removes a swimsuit and dress from my closet and tosses it on the bed. “You’re coming, so get up and get ready.”
I send a text to Zeke checking in to see how things are and tell him, for the thousandth time, how happy I am for him. He hasn’t responded to any of my texts, which pretty much confirms that I destroyed the possibility of anything happening between us in the future.
Right now isn’t our time. Our lives are going in different directions, but someday, after I’ve finished college and done all the things on my list and he’s proven himself in the NBA, then maybe we could have something real.
I feel a teensy bit better once I’m dressed and out the door, but I don’t get the same rush of excitement that I did the last time I was at a college party. Turns out a slip and slide party at a frat house is the exact same as it was as a kid. Except back then the boys didn’t have six-packs and I saw less boob action from the still mostly flat-chested girls in fourth grade.
We grab drinks and then a seat where we can watch the brave souls taking a run down the slip and slide. Note to self: swimsuits shift into some really inappropriate positions while slipping and sliding.
“This cup stinks,” Blair says and looks down into her drink. “And I think it has a floater in it. I’m gonna get a new one.”
She heads back to the keg and Vanessa and I watch a girl in a string bikini run and slide boobs first down the yellow tarp. When she stands, one nipple is showing and the bottoms are shoved up her crack like a thong. And of course there’s a guy holding his phone up presumably getting the entire thing on video.
“Dirty cups, guys videoing nipple slips, and this beer is warm. College is stupid.”
“Bite your tongue.” Vanessa turns to me with an appalled frown. “The beer is free, and that girl probably went and asked him to tag her in his Insta story.”
I look over and sure enough, she’s chatting him up with a big smile.
Vanessa continues, “If you really believed that, you’d be in Phoenix with your hot man. You’ve just lost sight of what makes college so amazing. It is whatever you make it. If you want to be a sorority girl who’s a little bit promiscuous – be it. You want to be the girl who shows her assets at a frat party – more power to you. A jersey chaser who keeps a steady rotation of hot athlete boyfriends – own that shit. Jock, nerd, virgin. You can try all the labels on or none of them. It’s about choice. There is no right or wrong, it’s just what makes you happy. And I think you let your happy leave without locking that shit down.”
“So you’re saying I can be the college girl in a long-distance relationship?”
“No, I’m saying you can be the fine as fuck college girlfriend of the hottest new member of the NBA.” She knocks her knee against mine. “Or you could bump uglies with that dude wearing a beer belt because he’s giving you come-hither eyes.”
“I miss Zeke. Why’d I have to waste three years hiding away when I could have been spending them with him?”
“Or you could look at it from the Blair perspective that you got a couple months and that’s better than nothing.”
Blair plops down beside us. “Okay, first of all – that is so not what I would say to that and secondly… okay, there is no second. That’s terribly depressing, V.”
“What can I say, I’m a realist.”
“So what would you say?” I ask Blair. If anyone can make me feel better, I know it’s her.
“I’d say, I’ve never seen you or Zeke happier than I have the last month and that I think you’re great together.”
“Okaaay, where’s the positive spin?”
“Oh there’s no positive spin, there’s ‘you’re an idiot for not going with him’ or at least telling him you’re in love with him.”
“But you said you were afraid I’d get hurt.”
“That was before the man professed his love. You think guys like Zeke just come along every day? Take a look around, my friend.” She leans in close and points to a guy a few feet away smashing a beer can on his forehead. “They do not.”
Vanessa cackles and throws her head back. “Well shit, I didn’t realize we were going with honesty.”
“You agree with her?”
“Yeah, pretty much. Zeke is hot, he just signed a multi-million-dollar contract, and he wants to share all that hotness and money with you. It seems like a no-brainer to me.”
“I don’t care about the money.”
“Which is why you’re perfect for him. You’re not a shallow bitch. He’s going to be fending those off with a stick.”
A pang of jealousy hits my chest. Fuck, did I screw this up?
“Yes!” they say in unison. Apparently I said that out loud.
“But how would that work? Valley has been my dream forever and Zeke might only be a couple hours away, but he’s going to be busy. When would we see each other? How would that work?”
“We can’t answer that for you, but don’t you at least want to try?”
I do. I really, really do.
“I gotta go.” I push my cup toward Blair and stand. I stop when I realize I don’t know how I’m going to get to him. “I think I’m gonna need your guys’ help.”