“What do you mean, Annabeth is dead?” I asked, feeling the strength leave my legs. “What happened to her? When?” Annabeth had been a friend of mine since our school days. Once upon a time we’d both dreamed of being famous artists, and while my career path had ultimately led me into donut making, Annabeth had stayed true to her original calling. She’d had her own share of struggles along the way, even painting the donut shop window for her very first commission out of college, but she’d finally succeeded, and her art and her custom logos were all over the world now, for all of the good it ended up doing her. “She brought me a painting for the shop not two weeks ago. I didn’t even know it was ready. In fact, I wasn’t entirely sure at the time that she wasn’t joking about doing it. Annabeth offered to paint it for free donuts, just like the old days. Emma brought it over here to the cottage as soon as Annabeth delivered it, but I haven’t even seen it yet,” I explained. I’d asked for my privacy when I’d left April Springs in ruins, but Emma had ignored my request when the painting had arrived at Donut Hearts. She thought I’d want to know, but Jake had a firm but gentle conversation with her, and that phone call telling me about the painting’s delivery had been her last one to me. “How did it happen, Momma?”
“Evidently she was climbing up into her loft in her studio when the ladder gave way. I heard that it was old and practically worn out, but she’d kept it for its charm. What made things worse was that her poor dear mother was the one who found her. Alyssa is still in shock. I tried to reach out to her a couple of times, but she politely declined. When I told her that I was going to call you to come to the funeral, she told me not to do it. She said that Annabeth had cherished your friendship, and that her daughter had recently told her that she wanted at least one of her close friends to not be a part of saying good-bye to her. It didn’t make any sense to me, but I decided to respect the sentiment. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” Momma looked as though she was the one that was about to cry.
I put my arms around her. “It’s okay. You did the right thing.”
“But you didn’t get to say good-bye,” Momma said through her tears.
“I’m just happy I could do one last thing for her,” I said.
Jake coughed politely as we all walked up onto the porch, and then he pulled out his cell phone.
“Who are you calling?”
“I’m cancelling the job, Suzanne.”
“What job?” Momma asked.
“It’s not important now,” Jake replied.
“It surely is,” I said, putting my hand on his to stop him from making that call. “Jake, you need to do this.”
“Suzanne, Tommy can find someone else. I need to be with you right now.” His tone of voice was emphatic, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me.
“Momma, would you warm up three slices of pie for us? We’ll be inside in a minute.”
My mother took the hint immediately. “Of course.”
Once she was in the cottage, I turned to my husband and said, “Don’t cancel, Jake.”
“Suzanne, you just lost your friend.”
“She’s been gone for a week,” I said stoically. “I wouldn’t want to face her funeral without you, but that’s a moot point now. You’ve been taking care of me nonstop for two months. You need to do this for you.”
“It wasn’t as though it was a burden or anything,” he said softly.
“Maybe not, but I know there were times when you were ready to run away screaming,” I corrected him, not allowing him to gloss over my periods of melancholy and my intermittent sullen refusal to do my exercises.
“Well, maybe not screaming,” he replied with the first hint of a smile I’d seen in a while.
“But running, nonetheless,” I answered, kissing him lightly to show him that I was just teasing. “Jake, there’s another reason you should do this. I don’t have to remind you that we haven’t had any money coming in for two months while we’ve been away. Emma and Sharon have been splitting the profits from the shop, which is only fair, and you’ve been taking care of me. Honestly, the best thing I can do at the moment is get back to work, and the same thing goes for you.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” he said softly. “I’ve really enjoyed the past two months.”
“So have I, but don’t worry. We’ll have plenty of time together soon enough,” I replied as I patted his shoulder. “The original plan was that you were going to leave as soon as I got settled, so I don’t see any reason to change that now.”
“I feel like a bad husband deserting you in your time of need.” He said it with such sadness in his voice that I knew I had to be gentle with him.
“Jake, my dear sweet husband, you just spent the last two months helping me put myself back together. I’m finally whole again. You have been the best husband any woman could ask for. Now it’s time for you to go.”
He laughed at the seeming juxtaposition of my statements. “You sure don’t mind sending mixed messages, do you?” Taking my hands in his, he asked, “Are you certain this is what you want?”
“I’m positive,” I said.
Jake still seemed to hesitate, and then he asked, “I can still have my pie first though, right?”
“You can take it all with you,” I said. “Well, all that’s left, anyway.”
My husband hugged me fiercely, and I was glad that he wasn’t afraid of hurting me. He, more than anyone, knew just how far I’d come. “I love you, young lady.”
“I love you too, kind sir,” I answered.
When we walked inside the cottage, Momma was waiting for us, though she was carefully pretending not to even be aware of our presence. “The pie is ready.”
“Jake is leaving,” I said, blurting it out as was my custom.
“Jake?” Momma asked him.
“Dot, I agreed to take on a job in Tennessee before we knew about Annabeth. I wanted to stay, but Suzanne made some good points about why it might be good for me to go. What do you think?”
Before my mother could answer, I stepped between the two of them. “Jake Bishop, you did not just ask my mother for her approval. I’m sure I didn’t hear that correctly.”
Momma said seriously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t hear anything. Do you have time for pie before you go, Jake?”
“That would be great,” my husband said, clearly grateful for escape from the trap he’d set for himself. As I went to get us milk for the pie, I saw Momma whisper something to Jake that made him smile.
“What are you two conspiring about?” I asked them with mock severity in my tone.
“Nothing,” Jake said.
“Nothing that concerns you,” Momma amended, and then she laughed, a sound I’d missed since I’d been away. “I was going to skip having any pie myself, but it smelled so good that I decided to join you, if that’s all right.”
“All right? It’s perfect,” I said as I hugged her yet again.
As we ate the delightful baked treat, Momma said, “Suzanne, if you don’t want to rattle around in this cottage all by yourself while Jake is gone, you’re more than welcome to come stay with Phillip and me.”
“Thanks. I appreciate the offer, but I’m staying right where I am. I’ve been dying to get back to feeling truly at home again. This cottage has everything I need.”
“Our place isn’t exactly a cave, you know,” Momma said a little defensively, and then she backpedaled. “I understand, though. This is where you grew up. Why wouldn’t you rather stay here? I can still visit you though, right?”
“Any time,” I said, and when I saw her eyes light up, I quickly added, “within reason.”
We all laughed at that, and too soon, our pie was gone and Jake was on his way out the door.
“I’ll walk you out,” I said.
“Jake, it was lovely seeing you again, however briefly,” Momma said.
“Thanks again for the pie,” he said. “If it weren’t so good, I’d feel guilty about taking the rest of it with me, but I know you can always make more, whereas my supply is severely limited.”
“Taking what is left is the highest compliment you can pay me,” she said.
At the truck, Jake threw his bag onto the passenger seat I had so recently occupied myself. At least the cabin we’d been staying in had a laundry room, so I was sending him off with clean clothes. “Call me the second you get there, and be careful in that truck of yours, especially if it snows.”
“That’s what the weight in back is for, and the snow chains, too,” he said. “I’ll be fine. Are you sure you will be?”
“Absolutely,” I answered.
After one last long and lingering kiss, he was on his way. I watched until his taillights disappeared around the corner, and then I rejoined Momma inside. I loved my husband dearly, and the time we’d spent together had been priceless, but I’d meant what I’d said.
We both needed to get on with our lives, and the sooner we made that happen, the better.
“How are you feeling, Suzanne?” Momma asked me not a minute after Jake left.
“I’m fine,” I said, not even pausing to think about it. I was fine, not normal, not perfect, not spectacular, but fine. It was all that I could muster at the time after all that I’d been through.
“Talk to me, dear sweet daughter,” Momma urged.
“It’s hard,” I finally admitted. “I’m not sure I could have put myself back together without Jake.” I was suddenly aware of how that must sound to her. “I don’t mean that you couldn’t have done it,” I quickly amended.
Momma smiled softly. “Suzanne, if your husband isn’t the main source of stability in your life, you probably chose the wrong man. I heartily approve of him, you know, as if it matters at this point.”
“What did you whisper to him?” I asked her, suddenly needing to hear her answer.
“I promised him that we would take care of you while he was gone,” Momma said, and then, before I could respond, she quickly added, “Not that you need all that much taking care of. I know you’re a grown woman, but I still can’t help thinking of you at times as my little girl. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I could take you in my lap, kiss your booboo, hold you tight, and tell you how much I love you.”
“You can still do all of that,” I said with a smile. “Though I might crush you a bit at this weight.”
It was her turn to laugh. “I’m willing to risk the potential injuries if you need it,” she answered, “though if you ask me, you’re practically wasting away.”
I had lost several pounds while I’d been gone, but I wasn’t sure they’d stay off once I got back to the donut shop full time. “Just having you here is all that I need.” I paused for a few moments as I stared into the fire. We were in the coldest season of our year—Christmas and New Year’s had come and gone while Jake and I had been away—but somehow it was okay. There had still been plenty to celebrate, but I hadn’t wanted to even acknowledge it while we’d been away.
“Are you okay with Jake leaving you here alone? Honestly?” she asked me.
“The truth is that I’m happy he’s got something important to do,” I said. “What do you really think?”
“Not that it’s any business of mine, but it seems to me like it is something you both need,” Momma answered.
“That’s not really an answer though, is it?” I probed a little deeper.
“Maybe not, but it’s the best one you’re going to get out of me.” Momma sipped her tea and then added, “I should have baked two pies.”
“Why, are you honestly still hungry?” I asked her, amazed that this little woman could eat more after the massive slices we’d had earlier.
“No, of course not, but what will you do if you want another slice later?”
I reached over and patted her hand. “Momma, I’ll be just f…dandy,” I said, cancelling the word fine as it started to leave my lips. “I can go to the store tomorrow and stock up on everything I need.”
She looked clearly guilty about something, and I suspected I knew what it was. Without a word, I got up and walked into the kitchen. My freezer was packed with meals that hadn’t been there before, including homemade bread.
Momma spoke from just behind me as she said, “I may have gotten a little carried away, but I didn’t want you to come back to a bare freezer.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, feeling relief that my mother could be a little overbearing at times. There were occasions, like at that particular moment, that it was exactly what I needed, though I would never have admitted it under interrogation.
“You might not want to look in the fridge,” Momma suggested as she bit her lower lip.
Of course I immediately opened the fridge’s door. It, too, was full of food, ready to pop into an oven to warm up at a moment’s notice. With Jake gone, I wouldn’t have to cook for myself for a month. I didn’t honestly mind that much, though. Momma was one of my favorite cooks in the world.
I turned and hugged her. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“It’s what I do,” my mother said. As I held her, I realized yet again what a small woman she was in physical stature. Her personality was so large that sometimes it made it difficult to remember just how tiny she was. I had inherited none of that. I had that chunky physique that my father and his brothers had. Lucky me. “Suzanne, I wasn’t kidding before. You are absolutely wasting away. Didn’t you two eat anything while you were gone?”
I had to laugh. “We ate plenty, but Jake’s idea of mending my body and soul was to take long hikes in the woods every single day, whether it was sunny or raining, cloudy or clear. He even dragged me out a few times in the snow.”
“You love snow,” Momma said with a smile.
“True, but I enjoy it more when I’m inside by a fire looking out a window than traipsing across the countryside in it.”
“Well, you’re home now,” Momma said. “That’s what counts.”
“In more ways than one,” I said as we walked back into the living room together. I’d loved the cabin where we’d stayed, on Momma’s dime no less, but there was no place like home. “By the way, thanks again for financing our trip.”
“Suzanne, you’re most welcome, but you need to stop thanking me. It was the least I could do.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “We never could have afforded it on our own.” Momma looked as though she was suddenly uncomfortable by the turn our conversation had taken. “What is it?”
“How are you set, financially? You know, I’d be more than happy to help out, just until you get back on your feet again.” Before I could protest, she added, “I know how you feel about accepting gifts, so we could call it a loan if you’d like. You might as well get a little of your inheritance early, as far as I’m concerned,” she added softly.
“Thanks, but that’s a hard no.” I hated when my mother acknowledged her own mortality. I refused to believe there would ever be a time in my life when she wasn’t around, no matter how foolish that basic premise might have been.
There was still a little a bit of tension between us when I heard someone knocking on the front door. I couldn’t face anyone at the moment, and I had hoped my well-meaning friends understood that. “Momma, would you get that? I can’t deal with anyone right now.”
“Certainly,” Momma said, putting on her fiercest expression as she walked to the front door. Despite her petite size, no one ever mistook my mother for a pushover, and from the look of determination on her face, I could see that wasn’t about to change now.
To my surprise, Momma didn’t immediately rebuff whoever was standing outside. “Suzanne, are you sure you don’t want to see anybody?”
I thought about it, and then I realized that there was one other person I could be myself with, warts and all. “Unless it’s Grace, send them away please.”
She must have heard her name from the porch. “You’re in luck then, aren’t you?” Grace came in, grinned at me, and then hugged me harder than she ever had in her life. She was clearly not worried about hurting me, though I wondered how my ribs would stand up under the onslaught. “I missed you,” she said fiercely. “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I’ll try not to,” I said. “Would you mind easing up a bit?”
“Did I hurt your arm?” she asked as she pulled back suddenly.
“No, but I might have a few cracked ribs after that bear hug of yours.”
Grace laughed, and I realized how much I’d missed my best friend while I’d been away. She was more than a sister could have been to me; we were close by choice, not some freak genetic lottery, and I loved her all the more for it. She suddenly got serious. “You heard about Annabeth, didn’t you?”
“I told her myself,” Momma said.
“We wanted to call you, but Alyssa was pretty insistent about it. I didn’t get it. You and Annabeth were close. Sure, we were friends, but you two bonded over your art from way back. I felt so guilty when I heard that she had died.”
“Why is that?” I asked, clearly confused by Grace’s statement.
“I always resented her a little for the time she took you away from me,” my best friend admitted. “It’s pretty shallow and petty of me now, but I couldn’t help myself back then. I just wish I’d apologized to her when I’d had the chance. Now I can never make amends.”
“Grace, she didn’t hold anything against you. We talked about you six months ago, and she had nothing but respect and admiration in her voice when she spoke of you. She was so impressed with how well you’d done with your life.”
“Me? I work a job. She created art. Annabeth was the impressive one. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
“I can’t either,” I said as I walked over and touched the plain brown-paper-wrapped painting leaning in the hallway. “She painted this for me, you know.”
“Don’t you want to open it?” Grace asked eagerly.
“Not just yet,” I said. “I’m not sure I can handle it. By the way, how did you know that we were back?”
“I saw you drive up, and I was about to crash your homecoming when I saw Jake drive back down the road in his truck not fifteen minutes later. I flagged him down, and he told me everything. That was all the motivation I needed to hightail it up here and see how you were doing for myself.” She took a few steps back and pretended to appraise me. “You could put on a few pounds,” she finally said judiciously.
“I don’t know. I kind of like myself this size,” I said. Though most of my clothing was loose on me, this was baggy season, where no one really wore formfitting clothes, if you didn’t count the leggings that a great many women found fashionable. I for one had never been comfortable wearing them outside of the cottage, but clearly I was in the minority having that opinion.
“If you’re going to maintain this weight, we need to go clothes shopping soon,” Momma said.
“In that case, I’ll start eating immediately. I hate shopping,” I said, and it was true. I suppose there were a great many ways I was an anomaly, but that suited me just fine. I never minded being different. In fact, there were many times that I reveled in it.
“You don’t have to decide anything today,” Momma said as she glanced quickly at her watch.
“Is there somewhere you need to be?” I asked her. “It’s okay if there is. You’ve done more than enough here.”
“Suzanne, Phillip can wait for me until I’m ready to go.”
“I’ll stay, Dot,” Grace volunteered. “I took some vacation time I saved up while Suzanne was away. I can’t believe how much paid time off they give me. Sometimes it can be a real burden.”
I thought about all of the money I’d missed out running Donut Hearts while I’d been away. “Sorry, but I refuse to sympathize with you,” I said with a grin.
“It’s a worry I bear constantly,” Grace said melodramatically. “Seriously, Dot, we’ll be fine.”
“Very well.” She took my hands in hers. “Suzanne, at least come by my place this evening for a proper meal.”
“If everything you left me in the fridge and the freezer isn’t proper, I’m not sure I know what it is,” I said.
“That’s for later. I insist,” she said before turning to Grace. “You must come, too.”
“Well, if I must, I must,” Grace replied with a huge grin. “Any chance there will be dessert?”
“You can count on it,” Momma said.
It all sounded great, but then the thought of leaving the cottage was suddenly more than I could stand. “Momma, I’m not sure I can go out just yet and face the world.”
Thank goodness she didn’t make me explain. “That’s fine. I’ll bring the food to you and we can eat here. Phillip has a new project he’s working on, so I’m not even sure he will notice that I’m gone.”
“What is it, another cold case?” I asked. My stepfather, once our chief of police, had found a suitable hobby in retirement, digging into very cold cases and trying to solve them.
“We can talk about all of that later,” Momma said. “I’ll see you girls at six,” she told us, and then she was gone.