IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON, well after three o’clock. Ah Kew gave a final cursory glance into the basket and covered it with a white cotton towel. She had filled it with food: little buns that she had steamed in the morning, a bunch of golden bananas ripened in the sun, a handful of sweet mangosteen, the colour of ripe plums, a small bag of custard apples and a whole chicken roasted to a golden brown on the new spit the Master had built in the back garden.
“Wait! Please put this in as well,” cried Shao Peng walking into the kitchen. She handed Ah Kew a bottle of rice wine. “My brother’s kitchen is making a huge batch of this in preparation for the many babies that they expect to arrive in the next few years. He is giving them away in protest.”
Ah Kew took the bottle reluctantly. She muttered under her breath.
“What did you say?” asked Shao Peng.
“I was just wondering why you care so much for that ungrateful wretch. She has refused to see anyone, not even Lai Ma after all she has done for her. It is best you leave her alone.” Ah Kew eyed Shao Peng’s burgeoning tummy. You are in no state to gallivant about town. What you need to do is to put your feet up.”
“I am going to try to see her again. She can’t possibly say no forever.”
Ah Kew tucked the cloth around the contents of the basket. She hesitated and then uncovered it again. She lifted the bottle of rice wine and pointed to it. “Are you sure you want to give this to her? We need it too you know. Chicken cooked in rice wine and ginger is a must for pregnant women, especially after birth. If we keep this bottle, it would be nicely matured by the time your baby arrives.”
Shao Peng took the bottle from her and placed it firmly back in the basket. “There are plenty where it came from.” She placed an arm around Ah Kew’s shoulder. “Let us be generous. I know you mean well. Come, I shall carry this out,” she said reaching for the basket.
Ah Kew broke away and snatched the basket away from Shao Peng. “You must not carry anything that is heavy. I’ll do it.” She took the basket under the crook of her arm and headed for the door. She continued muttering. She did not approve of her young mistress’s actions.
***
Life for Li Ling settled into a pattern. She got up, washed, ate and went back into her room until the next meal. She kept silent throughout the day. She spurned Bai Choo’s attempt to draw her out or become friends. She was ashamed but did not want to admit to it. She listened with her head bowed when her mother-in-law chastised her for her surliness. If her eyes flashed with resentment and anger, she was careful not to let them be seen. On occasions when she met her father-in-law, she would keep a similar demeanour. His kind words were met with absolute silence. She would just stand with eyes cast down until he finished. Then she would excuse herself. She knew that it made her father-in-law sad. She could hear his sighs for he had a soft spot for her and there were instances when she was almost moved to speak. She never did. She thought it futile to reply. When her mother-in-law spotted these little exchanges, there would be a heated discussion between her in-laws. She didn’t care. They were of no importance to her.
Da Wei came home less and less. Even his parents could no longer control him. He was involved with yet another young girl. In the servants’ quarters, the main topic of conversation often centred on Da Wei. They would wonder how he managed to lure so many women when there were so few women compared to men. At times, the arguments and speculations became quite heated with different parties taking different views. They seemed oblivious that Li Ling might hear.
“It is because he is the son of a rich man,” Li Ling heard them say. “Coolies don’t get a chance. If you are rich you can have as many as you wish.”
Others volunteered that all his recent women were young prostitutes. His reputation was so bad that people hid their daughters from him.
In the early days, Da Wei would make straight for Li Ling’s room when he came home. The servants would wait with abated breath to see what would happen. With eyes round with excitement, they plastered their ears against the thin walls. After the fateful beating, Li Ling no longer locked her door. She made no attempt to make herself pretty. She left her hair uncombed and unwashed. Her cheeks were pinched and sallow because she stayed indoors. She grew thinner and thinner while her belly grew bigger and bigger.
Hollow-eyed, she would just gaze at her husband when he came into the bedroom. Then, without a word, she would take off her clothes and lie on her back. She kept her face empty of emotion. She would stare vacantly at the ceiling; her body was a hull without spirit, a corpse in waiting. It drove Da Wei mad. The first time she did this, he slapped her. He needed her to respond and to be frightened. Even that did not move her to speak or scream. Gradually he lost interest and his visits became fewer and fewer. Li Ling was glad. She channelled all her energy to the child within her. She ate dutifully to ensure the baby was nourished. She put all her hopes on it. She had no clear idea how the child could be her saviour; she just felt that it would be so.
***
“Let me see her ... please.” Shao Peng stood at the doorstep with one foot in and a basket in her hand.
Ah Su eased open the door. “Mistress Li Ling would not like it. So don’t tell her that I have let you in.”
Ah Su closed the door gently and pointed to the rear of the house. “Mistress Li Ling is in her bedroom. It is the one facing the inner courtyard. I am afraid it is not very nice because that is where we do the washing. Are you sure you want to go?”
“Yes! Show me the way.”
“Well, can I just leave you when we arrive near the bedroom? Mistress Li Ling can be quite fierce. If she were to see that I brought you to her, she might throw tantrums. She threw a stool at me the other day.”
“I understand. Could you help me with the basket?”
“Yes, I’ll carry it and leave it outside her door. As I said, she might throw a tantrum if she sees me with you.” Ah Su heaved the basket up and carried it with both hands supporting its base.
Shao Peng followed Ah Su to the back of the house. She was dismayed. How could it be? They seemed to be heading towards the servants’ quarters and towards the kitchen. The stale smell of cooking oil mingled with that of pickling liquid. She sniffed. Its pungency hit her; she identified it as rice wine vinegar, brine and herbs. It permeated the air. The corridor became narrower and narrower. She glanced into one of the opened doorways. The room was dank and dark. Large vats of pickles stood next to casks of soya; dribbles of the dark sauce stained the floor. Someone had forgotten to clean up.
“Where do the rest of the family live?” she asked casually.
“Oh! The big master and mistress are in the eastern side of the building and Mistress Bai Choo is on the western side. The family don’t come to this part of the house often.”
They stopped when they reached a small courtyard. To call it a courtyard was an exaggeration. It was a little open space with a well in the middle. All round it were tubs and brushes. A big dish of soap and a wooden scrubbing board stood in between the tubs. Above them, hung a clothes line with washing on it.
“There,” whispered Ah Su apologetically. “I’ll leave this with you.” She hurried away, abandoning the basket on the floor.
Shao Peng looked around. She was troubled that Li Ling was relegated to such quarters. She raised a fist to the door and knocked. There was no reply. She pushed open the door.
Through the gloom, she could see a bed tucked at one end, its’ bed sheet crumpled, exposing the thin mattress and bare wooden boards beneath. At the other end of the bedroom was a heavy wardrobe. A dressing table with a mirror blotched and aged with black spots, stood next to it. She stepped inside. It was airless and still. She felt a movement behind her and, almost at the same instance, the sound of a door closing. She turned. Li Ling was standing behind her. She must have been hiding behind the door.
“Why have you come?” The words were spat out, terse.
“To see you. I have brought this for you.” Shao Peng tried to keep calm. She placed the basket on a chair.
“I don’t want it.”
Shao Peng went up to Li Ling. “Can we not just talk?”
“Go away! I don’t need your help.”
“Please Li Ling. Tell me what I have done wrong?” Shao Peng took a step closer. Her eyes became accustomed to the dark. Li Ling’s gaunt face shocked her. When she last saw her at the convent, she was a young girl. Now she seemed to have aged a decade. She reached out. Li Ling flung her hand away.
“I hate you! Don’t you know that? I hate you for building such hopes in me for a better life. You led me to believe that you loved me. I shared your bedroom. You said that you would make something out of me. Yet you allow them to send me away. I was not good enough for your brother.”
Li Ling shook with anger. The words she had bottled up in her weeks of self enforced silence rushed out. She hurled accusations at Shao Peng; she shouted and screamed; she knocked over a chair; she kicked a stool and then finally she cried. She stood with both palms on her face and sobbed and sobbed. Shao Peng tried to gather her in her arms. She couldn’t get close; their tummies were in the way. She tried again. The humour of the situation suddenly struck Li Ling. She began to giggle. Shao Peng took her by the hand and drew her to the bed. They sat with Shao Peng’s arms around her shoulders.
“I tried to persuade my stepmother to let you stay. I failed. It was not my house, not my decision. I am so, so sorry. I had no home to offer you until I had a home myself. I wanted you to come to me when I had a house I called my own. By then you were so upset you would not accept anything from me. I wanted you to make something of yourself. I wanted you to study. You can still do that.”
Shao Peng hugged Li Ling. “Shhh, shhh! Don’t cry.”
Spent, Li Ling laid down and pulled the sheets to her.
“Is he cruel to you? Does the family treat you badly?” Shao Peng swept her hand to encompass the room. “This ... this is not what I pictured for you.”
With a muffled sob and halting words, Li Ling described her married life.
***
Throughout her journey home, the horror of Li Ling’s tale replayed in Shao Peng’s mind. She shut her eyes tight as though shutting them would stop the images of violence in her mind eyes. She could not possibly let Li Ling stay a minute longer in that household. Yet how could she remove Li Ling from the clutches of her husband? She could not involve Siew Loong. He was recently married. She knew that he was fond of Li Ling. She had often wondered at the depth of his feelings. How would he react if he was told the full story? He might blame his mother and what use would that be, except to create turmoil within their family?
She leaned back against the seat. She was so preoccupied that she was unmindful of the jolts and bumps of the pony cart. The dirt road was filled with potholes. Floods had resulted in landslides so that the cart had to weave around mounds of earth and tree branches brought down from the hills. She recalled her first journey with Li Ling to the Convent. Life had been simpler then. How could things change so dramatically? How could a young innocent girl be so transformed? She winced each time she recalled the physical abuse Li Ling suffered. She felt nausea to think of the sexual violation. She clutched her belly protectively, cradling and stroking it. How could it be safe to bring up a child in such a world?
By the time she reached home, the sun had disappeared below the horizon. The house was covered in darkness except for the pool of light from a lantern held aloft. A tall silhouette stood beneath it. It must be Jack. She knew Jack would be worried. She had not intended to be late. It was not safe to travel in the evening with just the driver. She had been warned many times. Ah Sook would have been horrified that she had ventured out on her own with just the driver of the pony cart.
Jack was waiting at the top of the flight of steps to their bungalow. She hurried towards him. Her foot slid on a pebble, she righted herself. She heard him call out to her to slow down. She could not. She wanted to feel his arms around her, to feel safe. She ran and on reaching him, threw her arms around him. The lantern swayed precariously under the impact.
“Steady, I am here. It is all right.”
“I have seen Li Ling,” she said. “We must help her.”