| |
On a warm, sunny afternoon Jamie flew back to Ireland. His dad met him at arrivals. While the motion of the car and the familiar drive to the house lulled Jamie, he felt far less exhausted than when he’d come home to vote. But as he watched the familiar streets roll by, the entire past year of his life — the movie, Callum, Nerea, Callum and Nerea — felt like a dream. Jamie was going to miss them both while he was in Dublin, but they had already scheduled a date for the three of them for when he returned to London in two weeks. Soon after that he’d be in Spain.
In the meantime, Jamie had family to enjoy. Aoife would be at work for a few more hours, but his mum was home, and his sister Beth was over with Grace and Anne. Vegetables, of course, was in the thick of it, jumping all over Jamie and whining to be played with.
When Aoife got home she filled Jamie in on all the gossip of the family and neighborhood. Among their extended cousins there’d been two engagements plus a baby he hadn’t heard about; he’d been bad at returning his mother’s calls.
“How’s your boyfriend?” Jamie teased, drawing out the word as he grabbed a dish towel out of a drawer. The question always made her stammer and blush, which was why he always asked it. What were brothers for if not to torment sisters about their love lives? But this time, Aoife tossed her head defiantly and said, “Good. Our three-year anniversary is next month.”
“Wait, seriously? You’ve been together that long?”
“Yes seriously. Not like I can’t.”
“Didn’t say you couldn’t.”
“No. Not you,” she said quietly.
Jamie thought there was a story there that he’d have to prise out of her later. No one was going to stop Aoife from having anything she wanted, as far as he was concerned. “If you’ve been together that long, this is getting serious. I should probably have a talk with him about his intentions, mm?”
Aoife narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you going to scare him?”
“Maybe. A little. I should set a good precedent.”
“Just because I’m the only sister you’re older than, doesn’t mean you get to scare my boyfriends.”
Jamie grinned. “I disagree.”
“What’s your love life like?”
Aoife had turned the tables on him. Jamie hadn’t prepared for this moment and didn’t know what to say, but he was glad to be asked. “I’m seeing someone too. Although we’ve only been together a few months.” Jamie knew he sounded smug but didn’t care one bit.
“Who’s that?” his mother asked, coming into the kitchen. “You didn’t mention a girlfriend.”
“It’s — ahh — not exactly a girlfriend.” Jamie had spent a lot of time deliberately not worrying about explaining the current state of his relationships to his mother and now here he was, halfway in without a rubber.
“Boyfriend, whatever. You still didn’t mention him.”
“It’s new.” Jamie said quickly. “And kind of complicated?”
“Please don’t tell me you’re dating someone from work,” Maureen said.
“Aoife met her boyfriend at work!” Jamie protested. Patrick and Aoife worked at the same bakery.
“Yes, and she has better judgment than you, Jamie-boy. She also doesn’t work in the movies. I worry about you. You’re a good boy, but all you have to do is one foolish thing and then your face will be in every paper.”
“Mum,” Jamie rolled his eyes. “You worry too much.”
“You don’t worry enough. And you’re leaving spots on my nice glasses.”
“Can I meet your boyfriend?” Aoife asked Jamie.
“Yeah, I’m not subjecting him to this family,” Jamie grumbled. Frankly, he couldn’t imagine Callum and Nerea meeting his family. His parents would probably hit the roof. Even aside from the polyamory it would be odd. Nerea was younger than his mother; Callum was the same age, give or take a year, as his father. And that was a thing Jamie was much happier not thinking about, now or ever.
He was relieved when his mother changed the subject to ask him what his plans were for the fall.
“I’ve, er, been invited. To go to Spain.”
“What’s in Spain?”
“The person I’m dating.” Sort of. But I’m going to Spain to visit Callum Griffith-Davies’s wife while he goes on press tour was not something he could say to his mother. Possibly ever. Which was strange. Both of his sisters were married, Aoife was in a serious relationship, and here was Jamie, dating two people and unable to tell his parents about any of it. It felt dishonest, which was bad enough. Worse was not being able to share something so important to him.
* * *
WITH NO WORK TO DO except the chores his mother gave him around the house, and hardly anyone to socialize with besides his family, Jamie spent a few days luxuriating in relative idleness before becoming profoundly bored. He spent most of his time puttering around the house and thinking about Callum and Nerea. About what they were doing now that Callum was nearly done with filming, too. About what it would be like to be in Spain with just Nerea, and about how that would impact his own relationship with her — and with Callum.
He talked to them nearly every day: Sometimes a quick call on the phone while he was out walking Vegetables, but more often, texts exchanged while he lazed around the house or ran errands for his mum. He wanted to ask them all of those questions and more, but he resisted. Leaning on Callum and Nerea’s experience and wisdom was all well and good; they were an excellent resource for him to learn from and always had time for any of his questions. But he was also learning on his own. Like how to let go and let events unfold as they would. Emotions weren’t, he was realizing, controllable or predictable, regardless of relationship style. Jamie wanted to figure out how to do this whole dating-a-married-couple thing for himself. At least, as much as he could.
So one night, after he’d sat up late teasing Aoife about Patrick and their anniversary plans, and then talking about his own plans for projects post-Butterflies, Jamie found himself browsing the internet looking for books. After a lot of agonizing over his choices and reading way too many reviews, he settled on one about responsible non-monogamy that seemed suitable. The blurb acknowledged there was no one true way to get it right, and Jamie appreciated that hint of flexibility. Even Callum and Nerea seemed to employ different styles in handling their relationships.
Jamie was going to have to wait to read it though. Shipping to anywhere in Ireland, even Dublin, took longer than it did in London, which was annoying. But Jamie didn’t feel like he could walk into a bookshop and ask for books about open relationships. He was glad his mum would be at work when it got delivered.
When the book finally came, he snuck the package up to his room as if he were thirteen and smuggling in dirty magazines.
* * *
“SO YOU’RE SEEING SOMEBODY,” Hugh said one evening as he and Jamie sat out on the back step together. The sun had gone down but the air was still warm. From the open door behind them came the sound of Maureen finishing up the dishes. In the garden, Vegetables ran and leapt awkwardly in a fruitless attempt to catch the insects that had come out with the twilight.
“Yeah,” Jamie said.
“Your mum’s worried she’s not getting any more than that out of you,” his dad said.
“Did she send you out after me to ask?”
“Not in so many words,” his dad said. “She wants you to be happy.”
“I am.” Jamie grinned down at his hands. “I really, really am.”
“And this person — whoever they happen to be — you’re treating them well?” his father asked sternly.
“Dad! Yes. Of course I am.” Of his parents’ many reservations about the details of Jamie’s dating life over the years, he hoped he had never disappointed in how he strove to treat others. Surely, his mother’s lectures on respect and kindness had not been delivered with the notion that, someday, Jamie would be dating a man nearly twice his own age — much less that man’s wife too. But that didn’t meant those words of advice weren’t useful.
His dad nodded. “Good.”
Jamie had to fight down the urge to squirm with guilt. He didn’t like lying to his family, and omitting the actual circumstances of his current relationships felt like a lie. But he had no idea how to even start the conversation. His book was helpful in a lot of ways, but its clearest message so far was that, for as much guidance as it could offer, Jamie still had a lot of work to do.