It was a huge lump of human parts: legs, arms, men’s eyes, women’s eyes, many mouths (some with mustaches), and ears like shelf fungi on trees.
It paused on the top step of the aircar, looking down at Jasper Dash. Various eyes looked him up and down, from his space-suited head to his magnetic boots. It blinked at him.
Then it bumbled its way down to the ground.
It said, “You are, perhaps, from Earth?”
“I’m Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut.” Jasper stuck his hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”
The creature looked around. “Ah! Which hand would you like to shake? It’s a very special day, Jasper Dash, and I want you to have anything your heart desires.”
Jasper looked at the selection: hairy arms and muscly arms and weak arms and trick arms. “Gosh, I think I’ll choose that one, sir!” he said.
He shook hands with a good, middle-of-the-road arm.
“Jasper Dash! If it isn’t Jasper Dash! It’s a pleasure to meet you finally!” said the creature. “I am the Dirrillill.”
“Was it you who set up that swell party for me?”
“It certainly was, Jasper. That was me! I baked that cake with my own hands. These three.”
“Gee, it sure was nice of you to bake a cake to welcome me to the region of the Horsehead Nebula!”
“We try to welcome everyone to the region of the Horsehead Nebula.”
“And you must be the one who sent that beam of information about me to Earth?”
The Dirrillill thought about this for a second. Then a mouth said, “Of course! Of course! Yes, it was a while ago, back when there were a few more Dirrillillim around. But I am sure that I remember sending the beam of information about you to the planet Earth. Yes, absolutely! How could it slip my mind? It was, now that I think of it, the happiest day of my life!” He sighed. “It has been very difficult here. All the final few Dirrillillim, my friends and colleagues—they have all died in the last fifty years—tragic, very tragic. I am now the only Dirrillill left. It is very lonely. I have not been able to follow up on all my interstellar friendships the way I hoped to. So I am delighted that you are here! We shall have a grand time!”
“You’ll show me the sights?”
“All of them. Of course, of course! Right after we go back to your home planet, and you can show me the sights there! Aren’t you excited? Hop in the flying car, Jasper Dash.”
The Dirrillill could not have seemed nicer. But, see, because you and I have read other chapters, we know that this staggering blob of bits and bobs was two-faced, and not just because he had at least two faces. We know to listen for a dangerous, growling edge to everything the Dirrillill said. We know what peril Jasper put himself in by jumping happily into the creature’s flying jalopy.
But Jasper wasn’t really thinking. He was too happy to put two and two together. He figured, Never mind what those electrical chaps said. This Dirrillill creature is a swell sort of fellow, and not the type to imprison anyone without a very good reason!
So Jasper hopped into the Dirrillill’s flying car.
The last of the Dirrillillim swung a hand around, and a ring of symbols and controls appeared in the air as if on an invisible, floating screen. With some of his hands, he fiddled with the glowing controls. With the other hands, he made gestures while he talked.
He said, “I hope you don’t mind if I ask to see Earth before I show you around here. I have always wanted to see the planet Earth. That’s where you come from, isn’t it? Grand. What do you say we just pop on over right now? It would give me great pleasure to have you show me the sights. The capital cities, for example, where there are the largest number of humans all gathered together. We’ll go now, lickety-split. Sound grand?”
“Why, it does sound grand! You’re almost like a . . . an uncle to me or something, aren’t you?”
The Dirrillill thought about this. “Well . . . Yes, certainly! Yes, Jasper Dash, I’m just like an uncle! Think of me as an uncle! In fact, think of me as all your relatives, mixed together! Rolled into one! Aunts, uncles, cousins, perhaps even a father or two.”
“A father? Really?” Jasper couldn’t believe it. He drew breath so quickly it was almost like a gasp or a sob.
Some of the Dirrillill’s eyes turned and looked carefully at Jasper. The Dirrillill read Jasper like a book. Then one of its mouths said, “Sure. Exactly, ha ha. A father.”
Jasper could hardly stand still, he was so excited. He bobbed up and down on his tiptoes. “I can’t wait for you to meet my mom!”
“She pretty?”
“You bet!”
“Boy, this is the best day ever!” the last of the Dirrillillim exclaimed, clapping with several pairs of hands.
Jasper said, “By the rings of Saturn, we’re going to have a swell time!”
The Dirrillill pushed a floating button. They lifted off and hovered with the mountains around them.
As it turned out, they were not going to have a swell time.
Just as the Dirrillill was about to fly them toward the Earth antenna, Jasper mentioned, “I met some awful electrical fellows a little while ago. They were frightfully zappy.”
“Them? I didn’t know they were still around.”
“Do you know, they told me that you and your people imprisoned them. I knew it couldn’t be true. I’m sure that you have an excellent explanation.”
There was a long pause. The Dirrillill didn’t say anything.
So Jasper hinted, “Which you’ll tell me right now.”
Some of the Dirrillill’s mouths smiled uneasily and said things like, “Yes,” “Ah,” “Oh!” “Um,” and “Well, it’s like this . . .”
One of the mouths was just about to say something when another one bellowed, “I don’t wish to change the subject, but Jasper Dash, did you arrive alone? All by, shall we say, your onesies?”
“I did, sir.”
“See, that’s a strange thing. I got a second alarm signal, as if someone else had followed you, ha ha. Wouldn’t that be lovely? If we had more company? More friends, more fun?” The Dirrillill inspected him. “Do you know anyone who might have followed you?”
Jasper thought about his mom, back on Earth, and his friends Lily and Katie. He was a little embarrassed he’d left them behind, especially when everything was going so well with his . . . gosh, with his father, you could say. His father the Dirrillill.
“No,” said Jasper. “No one else was supposed to follow me.”
“You’ve got company at your party,” said the Dirrillill. “We’re going to Earth’s teleportation station anyway. Let’s see what we find.”
With a quick motion of his hand on the floating controls, he swooped the car in a circle and flashed across the plains.