There was still no word from her parents.
But it wasn’t them Anna thought of as she lay awake that night. It was Ryan. Turning over in her mind every look they shared. Pondering the way he made her feel. How did Ryan make her feel?
She wasn’t sure. He made her feel in a way she’d never imagined to feel again. Ryan was her best friend. Did she want him to be something more?
Taking his shift at the garden center, Ryan called around lunch. “Whatcha doing, Anna Banana?”
Goose bumps pebbled her skin. She wanted to say, Thinking about you. But she didn’t.
Cradling the phone between her ear and neck, she rested the small of her back against the wall. “I have a late afternoon appointment with the doctor.” Her obstetrician had mandated biweekly appointments at this point in the pregnancy. “What have you been doing?”
His voice thickened. “Thinking about you.”
And she almost swooned. Who knew Ryan Savage could be so romantic? “I’ll see you at the Living Nativity tonight.”
“Must I wait so long?”
“Aren’t I worth the wait, Mister Sabbage?” she teased.
“You’ve always been worth the wait, Anna Banana.”
She felt breathless. “I’ll see you soon.” But it didn’t feel soon enough.
On the way to her appointment, she stopped by the house. Her firefighter brother, Will, was supposed to come over from the mainland today for the holidays. He and Charlie stood on the porch. She got out of the car and waved at her two younger brothers.
Will enfolded her in a bear-size hug. “Look at you, little mama.” He gave her a rakish grin that melted single ladies into a puddle. “How you’ve grown since I saw you last. Not even a month ago.”
“Shut up, you.” She swatted at him but allowed him to help her up the steps.
Charlie crossed his arms. “Speaking of mothers? Have you heard from the parents yet, Anna?”
The sinking feeling deepened. She shook her head.
“Me, neither. And I don’t like it.” Charlie raked his hand over his head. “Leaves me feeling like I’m about to be ambushed.”
Will draped his arm around her. “Any other developments to share, big sister?”
“Like what?”
Will smirked. “Like you and Ryan.”
Her heart pounded. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Will and Charlie exchanged glances. “Everyone secretly hoped you and Ryan would get together one day.”
She swallowed. “That was then.”
Will squeezed her shoulder. “No time like the present.”
She frowned. “Ryan and I are friends. He’s only staying on a temporary basis.”
Charlie shook his head. “I’m thinking it wouldn’t take much arm-twisting to change his mind.”
She raised her chin. “I don’t want him to stay because of me.”
Will rolled his eyes. “If not for you, what better reason?”
“I don’t need a man to take care of me. I’m a strong, independent woman.”
Charlie shuffled his feet on the porch planks. “Maybe too strong and independent for your own good.”
She propped her hands on her hips. “How do you figure that?”
“Too stubborn to see what’s been right in front of your nose the whole time.” Charlie cocked his head. “You may not need him, but how about what you want, Anna?”
What did she want? A real home. And a handsome teacher with beard scruff to love her little, brown-eyed girl.
She blew out a breath. This was crazy. There were other more important issues at the moment. “Can I count on your support when the parents finally do get around to calling?”
Both of her brothers winced, but rallied.
“Of course.”
“You know it.”
“Thanks, boys.” She smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow night at the caroling.”
At the doctor’s office, she arrived to an overflowing waiting room. Full moon tonight? Was there any truth to the old wives’ tale?
The physician’s assistant gave her a clean bill of health. “You could deliver anytime.”
With the assistance of the lady practitioner, she sat up on the paper-sheeted table. “Not too soon, though. Got to get through Christmas.”
The PA made notations on the electronic chart. “Especially with the threat of a winter storm.”
She smoothed her skirt. “Snow?”
“Don’t we wish. The storm track has the good stuff sweeping north to Pennsylvania.”
Anna gave a mock sigh. “Hope for a white Christmas dashed again.”
“Better we get nothing than we get ice.” The PA patted her arm. “See you next week. Have a wonderful holiday.”
“You, too.” She inched her way to ground level. Her pulse thrummed with a quiet anticipation at the prospect of seeing Ryan. She arrived at the church to find the rest of the cast already in costume.
Margaret Davenport steered her toward a dressing room. “I was afraid you’d gone into labor.”
Catching her eye from across the room, Ryan went into a lopsided grin. Oh, how she liked the way he smiled at her. Her equilibrium went into a nosedive.
Everyone in the Living Nativity took their places outside. Two pint-size shepherds—Izzie Clark and Max Scott—guarded a tiny flock. Their excitement was palpable.
Breaking from the biblical timeline, magi in satin turbans with fake jewels carried gifts for the Christ Child. The foil-wrapped boxes shimmered in the uplighting of the gazebo. One of the kings was Gray Montgomery. And in filmy white layers of angelic splendor, Jade Collier perched on a raised platform beside the makeshift stable.
Anna settled on a wooden stool inside the gazebo. Dressed in his robe, Ryan held a crooked staff. The manger—with a swaddled baby doll—lay between them.
“The scruffy look adds just the right touch.”
He pursed his lips. “Why am I not sure if I’ve been complimented or insulted?”
She adjusted the folds of the muslin shift. A small heater kept the gazebo warm on the chilly night. “It’s a compliment. Tessa has you outfitted so authentically you look like you really could be Joseph.”
Anna wished Ryan gave himself more credit. He was the kindest, most generous, man she’d ever known. And considering her stalwart band of law enforcement/patriotic male family members, that was saying a lot. But it was true.
The growing line of cars snaked slowly past the square for a gander at one of Kiptohanock’s most enduring traditions. Mounted speakers played sacred carols, one after the other.
She imagined bringing Ruby to the Living Nativity next year. Other images raced through her mind. Like walking barefoot on the beach when the weather warmed. Or catching fireflies in mason jars in the summer.
And on the edges of those golden dreams, there was always a handsome teacher. Dare she dream of more for herself and Ruby?
But what about Ryan and his dreams? He’d worked so hard to restart his career. He’d sacrificed so much for his family. Wasn’t it his turn now to have his dreams come true?
He rubbed his hand across his beard stubble. “I’m thinking I should probably shave this off before I return to the lab.”
“No, don’t!”
His eyes widened.
“I mean, I don’t think you need to do that.” She blushed. “I like you the way you are.”
He smiled, a slow upturn of his lips. “Thank you, Anna.”
She swallowed. Though quiet, he was a man of great character. Who loved deeply and totally and forever. Could such a love be hers? Is that what she wanted?
The stream of visitors was steady for the next two hours. She, the demure mother. Ryan, her strong, stalwart champion. Real-life typecasting.
But she couldn’t keep her eyes off his face in the glow of the spotlight. Memorizing every line, plane and angle. What was happening to her? She struggled to control her breathing. He would leave Kiptohanock eventually. And she was staying. What possible future could there be for them?
At the end of the evening, the players dispersed. Another successful Living Nativity. Changing into regular attire, she found Ryan waiting, wearing his glasses once again.
“I told Tess I’d lock up.”
He walked Anna to her car. Except for the shining star upon the gazebo, the square was bathed in darkness.
Ryan followed the direction of her gaze. “It’s on a timer. It’ll turn off by itself. No worries.”
Easier said than done when it came to life. The insidious fears returned. Should she tell him of her growing feelings? And if Ryan gave up his career goals for her, would someday he come to resent her or worse, resent her child?
If she truly loved Ryan—her dearest friend—she should let him go. To a life that wouldn’t include her or Ruby.
“What’s wrong?” Always so attuned to every nuance of her feelings, his eyes sharpened. “Are you feeling okay?”
And suppose she convinced him to stay and she lost him anyway? Unshed tears pricked her eyelids. “I—”
“What is it?”
Suddenly, she wanted nothing so much in the world except to feel his lips on hers. She used to daydream in high school that one day he’d kiss her. And tired of waiting, she wrapped her hands around the nape of his neck.
“What are you doing, Anna?”
She tugged his face closer. “Kiss me, Ryan.” His mouth was now only inches from hers. “Please. Just kiss me.”
His hands, so long-fingered and sturdy, splayed around her upper arms. “Anna...” His chest heaved as if he was having as much trouble breathing as she.
Anna’s lips parted.
He kissed one corner of her mouth, but stopped. “Are you sure?”
Anna stood on tiptoe. “I’m sure.”
Ryan’s blue-green eyes darkened to unfathomable depths. Something seemed to break inside him. The pressure of his fingers around her arms tightened. He covered her lips with his.
Her senses swam. Her knees almost buckled. If he hadn’t been holding her up, she might’ve fallen. But too soon, he stepped back.
“Wow,” she murmured, distracted by the spicy male scent of him.
A bemused smile played across his lips. “I’m following you home, Anna, to make sure that clunker of yours gets there safely. See you tomorrow?”
She shook her head, trying to focus. “Tomorrow?”
“The caroling party.”
Oh, yeah. That. She nodded.
He held the door for her. “Until then. I can hardly wait.”
Neither could she.
* * *
Working in the barn on Friday afternoon, Ryan replayed the kiss from last night in his mind. What was Anna thinking? Feeling? Was it possible she wanted a future with him?
He loosened the last of the four bolts, disengaging the wheels from the undercarriage of the sleigh. The forecasters were calling for a light dusting this week.
On the off chance the Eastern Shore actually did manage a white Christmas, he was readying the sleigh for snow. He ran his hand along the length of the sleek runner.
Captivated by the notion of gliding across snowy fields under a moonlit, starry night with Anna in the sleigh. Another opportunity to explore their burgeoning relationship.
Would delaying his departure allow time for Anna’s love to awaken for him? His heart turned over in his chest at the lingering memory of their first kiss. Or had love already awakened?
He glanced at the clock. Why wait until the caroling party? Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. He’d go over there right now and surprise her with an early Christmas gift.
Ryan could no longer deny how he felt about Anna. There could be no half-hearted measures involving his feelings for her. Nor in his desire to share a life with her and Ruby. He loved Anna. So much. And Ruby, too.
They, not a laboratory, were everything to him. Why was he holding back? His heart filled with the certainty at the rightness of it all. He didn’t want to leave his family. Or Anna and the child they’d raise together. He could make a real difference with children like Maria, Oscar and Zander.
He’d get an early start on showering Anna with what she meant to him. Giving her a small token of the immense gift she was to him. She might not be ready to admit her feelings for him yet. But he’d seen it in her eyes when they kissed.
Ryan loved Anna. Totally. Completely. Forever.
Because he couldn’t seem to contain the happiness spilling out of his heart, he borrowed Luke’s truck and lowered the wooden cradle into the bed of the Chevy.
At the trailer, with the cradle at his feet, Ryan lifted his hand to knock. The door flew open. And there she stood.
She appeared pleased to see him, a light in her eyes. “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
His stomach muscles tightened. “If you’re busy, I’ll leave.”
“Don’t leave.” Her hand touched his sleeve as if to hold him there. “Come inside. Please.”
“I have something for you.” He hefted the cradle in his arms. “Something for the baby actually.”
She put her hand over her throat. “You made this for Ruby?”
A sheen of tears welled in her eyes. He set the cradle beside the Christmas tree.
Her finger traced the detail of the woodwork he’d carved into the sides. Thanking him, Anna bobbed in her stocking feet—reindeer socks today.
And he caught her in his arms. Her eyes shining, she kissed him. A kiss as tender as their first. An unspoken promise of more. So much more. A future filled with love and hope.
“Oh, Ryan.” Her voice quivered. “How much I—” She pressed her lips together.
Say it, Anna. But she withdrew from his embrace. Leaving his arms feeling empty.
But one day, he promised himself, she wouldn’t stop to second-guess her feelings. She’d just love him. Until then...he needed to be patient.
He forced his heartbeat to steady. “I’d better get back. Don’t want Luke to dock my pay.”
She planted a quick kiss on his cheek.
Dazed, he lifted his hand to touch the spot where the sweetness of her mouth lingered on his skin. “What was that for?”
“One for the road.” She hung on the door. “Until tonight.”