The next morning Anna arrived at the trailer from a long overdue grocery trip to find Ryan fixing the steps of her porch. Laying aside the nail gun, he rose as she parked next to his car.
When she reached for a grocery bag, he hurried over. “Let me help, Anna.”
“I’m pregnant, Ryan, not an invalid.”
Grabbing two bags, he ignored her. Resigning herself to his helpfulness, she escorted him to the door.
He waited while she fumbled inside her purse for the key. “You were out early for a Saturday morning.”
Inserting the key, she gave it a turn, but the doorknob twisted in her hand.
He handed her the lightest of the sacks. “Let me try.”
Jiggling the key, he lifted up on the knob and shoved the door with his shoulder. “Voilà!” He motioned as the door swept open.
She stepped over the threshold. “You are amazing.”
He carried the bags to the kitchen. “That’s what the kids tell me.”
She gave him a sideways glance. “Their moms, too.”
He pushed at his glasses with his forefinger. “What?”
“Never mind.” She unpacked the bread. “I didn’t expect to see you this morning.”
He unloaded another bag, handing her the items. “I told you I’d fix the steps.”
She put away the cereal. “Thank you.”
He placed the milk jug inside the harvest gold refrigerator. “The lock is next on my list.”
“Ryan, I appreciate your concern, but—”
“Where do you want the coffee?”
She gave him her best teacher glare. He grinned, unfazed.
Hand propped, she jutted her hip. “No matter what I say, you’re going to do the repairs anyway, aren’t you?”
Ryan shrugged. “I’m enjoying myself.”
“Enjoying yourself?” She shivered. “It’s freezing out there.”
“I like to keep busy.”
“Surely you can think of something more fun to do with your free time.” She brushed the pad of her thumb across his cheek.
His expression changed. Why had she touched him? Disconcerted, she dropped her hand.
“I enjoy doing things for you, Anna. Let somebody take care of you for once.”
She busied herself with a sudden interest in the nutritional data on a box of rice. “Christmas was always one of your busiest seasons at the garden center. Aren’t you needed there?”
“Despite the pride you take in being independent, helping around this place is a win-win for me.” His eyes sharpened. “I get to spend more time with you.”
Her mouth went dry. “Until you leave for your new job.”
Ryan’s gaze dropped to the floor. “Yes. Until then.”
She took a steadying breath. “Aren’t you helping with the open house?”
“My shift starts late afternoon.” He refolded the empty brown paper bags. “Luke’s got the Christmas tree stand under control. Trust me, Justine doesn’t want me near the wreath-making. Ethan and Tess have a system for the sleigh rides and petting farm.”
Anna leaned against the countertop. “I always thought it was so cool you lived on a farm.”
He rolled his eyes. “Dad liked to start the weekend mornings early. Get as much free labor out of us kids as he could.”
She crossed her arms over her belly. “Your dad was a wonderful man. You remind me of him.”
A gentle smile teased Ryan’s lips. “He was a great dad. Mom misses him a lot. We all do.”
“Which is why each of you gave up your own lives to help preserve his legacy. And now you’re helping Oscar, too.”
“I’m not the hero you make me out to be.” Ryan cocked his head. “Luke always loved the farm the most. But for me, Ethan, Justine and Tess, being here won’t be forever.”
Forever. Once, Anna believed she’d found her forever with Mateo. She laid her hand on top of her ever-expanding abdomen. But forever was turning out far different than she’d imagined. What did forever look like to Ryan?
She returned to putting away the last of the canned goods. Forever to Ryan probably looked like microscopes and test tubes.
“Oh, before I forget to tell you... I talked to your brother.”
She raised her eyebrow. “Which one?”
“Charlie had a chat with your absentee landlord. I’m keeping receipts on the repairs, and the cost will be deducted from your rent this month.”
She’d been shocked to discover the trailer matched none of the online photos from the rental agency. “So I need to write you a reimbursement check.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
She shut the cabinet door with a bang. “What did you mean then?”
“Charlie and I have your back, Anna.” He made a palms-up gesture. “Let us help. Don’t be so stubborn.”
Her budget did need some breathing room. She hadn’t bought any baby equipment yet. And baby stuff, especially on a single mother’s salary, would be expensive.
“I appreciate everything you’re doing, Ryan.” She exhaled in a slow trickle of breath. “I really mean it.”
And like the humble guy he’d always been, he deflected her praise. “That’s what friends are for, right?”
Friends. Right. Her jaw tightened.
His eyes crinkled. “Back to Operation Christmas.”
She pursed her lips. “Phase Two for the kids?”
“Actually, I was thinking of you.”
Her heart thudded. “Me?”
Ryan ran his hand over the top of his head. “How about a field trip, Teach?”
She resisted the urge to smooth down the mess he’d made of his hair. “What kind of field trip?”
“A trip to the farm. What would Christmas be without a Savage Farm tree?”
“What indeed?” She did a slow twirl. “Am I dressed farm girl appropriate?”
He scanned her winter-white maternity sweater and the not-so-skinny black maternity jeans tucked into low-heeled boots. “You’ll do.” He smiled.
Anna wondered what his former fiancée, Karen, looked like. Probably model thin and gorgeous. And then berated herself for being stupid. Though, she couldn’t help but notice that Ryan made a point to never allow his attention to stray to her stomach.
She must look so huge and clumsy and unattractive to him. She’d always taken pride in her slim figure.
When he pulled the car off the main road and onto the long, gravel drive leading to the farm, for the first time she truly felt she’d come home. With her mom working hospital shifts and her dad’s law enforcement hours, the farm had been a favorite hangout of hers as a teenager.
Greenhouses sat near the road. Fallow fields lay on either side of the rustic-looking garden center.
“Looks like Justine’s busy.” Ryan nudged his chin toward the nursery where cars filled the parking lot.
Her arms full of potted plants, Justine, a perky blonde, lifted her head at the sound of the approaching vehicle.
“Can we stop to say hello?”
Like a true brother, he gave an exaggerated sigh for Anna’s benefit. “If we must.”
Justine deposited the plants into the trunk of a green Subaru. “Anna Banana, welcome home.” Her outstretched arms engulfed Anna, tummy and all.
“I see the news of my arrival has spread.” Anna made a face. “As has my figure.”
Justine stepped back. “You are as gorgeous as ever.”
Anna sighed. “There’s certainly more of me to admire these days.”
“Congratulations, Anna.” Justine’s blue eyes sparkled. “I’m so happy for you.”
Anna took her first deep breath of her Eastern Shore home. Here on the farm, she inhaled the pungent aroma of rich, loamy soil. From inside the store, a tantalizing whiff of cinnamon-spiced wassail laced the air. And a hint of pine floated from the surrounding forest.
Everything was as she remembered. Everything as it should be.
She spotted the potted plants in the trunk of the Subaru. “As I recall, poinsettias are your biggest seller this time of year.”
Justine nodded. “Wreaths, too. Need one?”
She drew Anna over to a white lattice frame latched onto the side of the storefront from which hung a dozen fresh wreaths of pine, cedar and magnolia.
Anna smirked at Ryan. “This is a conspiracy, isn’t it?”
He squared his broad shoulders. “Farmers and salesmen. It’s what Savages do.”
Justine elbowed his ribs. “That would be salespersons.”
“Watch it, little sister.” He poked her back. She scuttled out of reach.
Anna laughed. “Before the sibling rivalry escalates further, let me take the small one with the holly berries and red ribbon.”
He winked at his sister. “Ka-ching...”
Justine smiled. “Works every time.”
Anna whipped out her wallet before Ryan could object. “How much?”
Justine darted a glance at her brother. “There’s a friends and family discount.”
He took the wreath off the hook. “Exactly.”
Justine took the money from Anna and headed into the storefront as the pregnant blonde woman from the flotilla last night emerged.
“Must be something in the water around here, huh?” She held out her hand. “I’m Kristina Collier. I don’t believe we’ve met. Are you a new ’come here like me?”
Anna shook her hand. “More like a new ’come back here.”
Ryan deposited the wreath in the car. “Anna is Charlie Pruitt’s sister.”
Kristina smiled. “Home for the holidays?”
“Not just for the holidays.” Anna gave Ryan a pointed look. “I can’t think of a better place to raise a family and build a life than here in Kiptohanock.”
Ryan frowned. “There’s more to life than sea air and sand.”
Anna raised her chin. “Not if it’s home.”
Kristina nodded. “Home is where the heart is.”
Ryan’s eyes locked onto Anna’s. “And Kiptohanock is where your heart is?”
Breathless at the intensity of his gaze, the rest of the world faded for Anna. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
A pulse ticked in his jaw. His mouth opened as if to answer, but Justine returned and handed Anna a steaming cup of wassail. “Would you help Kristina’s husband load the rest of the poinsettias from the greenhouse, Ryan?”
“Sure.” He pushed up the sleeves of his gray Duke University sweatshirt. “Duty calls.” And he disappeared around the corner of the garden center to lend a hand.
Which was exactly how she remembered the Savage family. All for one and one for all. And despite Ryan’s words to the contrary, his work on the farm was far more than duty.
She took a sip of the wassail. “You own the florist shop, Kristina?”
Canyon Collier, the handsome crop duster pilot, appeared with more plants cradled in his arms.
“A dream come true.” Kristina’s cornflower blue eyes drifted to her husband. “Among many dreams come true recently.”
Setting aside the plants, her husband laid his hand on his wife’s just-beginning-to-show belly. Their palpable happiness filled Anna with an unsettling yearning for something she believed she’d forever laid to rest, choosing to focus her dreams on the baby.
But seeing them, a different sort of forever rose to the forefront of her mind. Involving beach, sand and fifth-grade teachers? She took a quick, scalding swallow and sputtered.
His arms full of plants, Ryan staggered into the car lot, interrupting the dangerous direction her thoughts had taken. “You okay?”
She flushed. No, she wasn’t okay. Her grip tightened on the cup. “That’s a lot of poinsettias.”
Canyon and Justine deposited the rest of the flame-leafed pots into the hatch of the Collier vehicle.
Kristina angled around after her husband closed the hatch. “I’m on the church altar guild. We’re decorating the sanctuary after lunch.”
“That’s everything.” Justine gave Kristina a receipt. “Thanks for your business.”
Kristina headed for the passenger side. “I’ll need more greenery by Monday. I have orders for seasonal floral arrangements.”
When the Colliers drove off, another customer approached, juggling pots of paper whites. Justine started forward to help. “Maybe we could get the old high school gang together again after Christmas.”
Anna cut her eyes at Ryan. “Not sure that will work for everyone’s schedule.”
Ryan arched his eyebrow. “Before might be better.”
Anna didn’t smile. “Speak for yourself.”
Justine waved goodbye as she moved away to help the overloaded customer.
Ryan rubbed his hands together. “How about getting you a Christmas tree?”
“Playing Santa again, Ryan?” She discarded the cup into a nearby trash bin. “How do you plan to get the tree to my house?”
He rapped the roof of his car. “I’ll MacGyver it.”
She eyed the roof rack. “I didn’t know you skied.”
He held the door for her as she slid inside. “Karen was big into going to the Wintergreen Ski Resort.”
Karen... Anna clicked her seat belt in place, sorry she’d asked. He’d lived a whole life she knew nothing about.
And that bothered her. Which was unreasonable. Her baby only underscored the fact she’d lived a life totally unconnected to him, as well.
He steered past the nursery as the drive curved into the woodland. She studied him behind the wheel. Would he find happiness in his new job and fulfillment somewhere else? Had she found fulfillment?
Of course she had. Hadn’t she? She faced out the window. Home at last, she had her baby. And her wonderful memories of Mateo. Yet suddenly, none of that felt enough. Not anymore.
* * *
Ryan parked between the farmhouse and barn. Judging from the number of cars, business was booming.
Anna waved to his youngest sister, Tessa, supervising the youngsters in the enclosed barnyard petting zoo. “It’s busy today.”
“For many families around here, it’s become a tradition to bring the kids to Open House.” He took stock of their hard work since his dad passed. “The farm is Luke’s doing, a profitable year-round enterprise.”
Sunbeams infused rich highlights in Anna’s dark hair. “Year-round how?”
Anna was so lovely. He’d never imagined he’d ever be able to spend time with her again. But only until January, when their life paths diverged once more.
His chest tightened at the reminder. “In the spring, we grow flowers for the garden center. In the fall, we offer a corn maze and there’s pumpkins for sale.”
Tendrils of her hair skimmed her shoulders. “You don’t fool me, Ryan.” She wagged her finger. “Savages live, breathe and eat the farm.”
He gestured toward the Christmas tree stand beside the red, Dutch hip-roofed barn. “In November, Luke travels to the Blue Ridge to get fresh-cut trees since the trees don’t naturally grow in our salty climate.”
At the sound of jingling bells, she turned to the old-fashioned sleigh. His other brother, Ethan, had a line of waiting customers.
Taking hold of her elbow, Ryan guided her over toward the sleigh. Children played hide-and-seek among the Christmas trees, positioned to resemble a real forest. An enchanted forest, especially with Anna by his side.
“Customers usually visit the petting zoo first, and then take a family sleigh ride before purchasing a tree.”
With Tessa’s old horse tied to the hitching post outside the barn, broad-shouldered Ethan helped his customers disembark from the sleigh. “Anna Banana! Good to have you home.”
She made a wry grimace, but Ryan could tell she was pleased at Ethan’s affectionate greeting. He and Ethan shared the tall Savage gene, but there the resemblance ended.
Ethan and Justine were blonder, their eyes bluer. And unlike Ryan, who tended to be more contemplative, Ethan was Mr. Never-Met-a-Stranger. Or had been until returning from his last deployment.
“It’s good to be home.” Anna ran her hand over the carriage frame. “This sleigh is new to me.”
Ryan allowed the horse to nuzzle his hand. “Ethan’s idea.”
Ethan shook his head. “Ryan found the sleigh in the shed, tucked away for who knows how long. The leather had rotted. The runners broken. He restored the sleigh to its now pristine condition.”
Ryan flushed. “We each did our part for the business.”
“Don’t be so modest, bro.”
Her breath hitched softly. “Ryan, I had no idea you were so talented.”
Ethan patted the horse’s withers. “My brother is a handy guy to have around. Lots of hidden skills.”
Ryan scowled. “Very hidden.”
She ran her fingertip over the gold paint gilding the outline of the carriage. “This is beautiful.” Her eyes shone. “Makes me want to break into a verse about dashing through the snow.”
Ryan waggled his eyebrows. “Except in Kiptohanock, there isn’t any snow.”
Ethan handed an elderly lady into the carriage. “But brilliant as always, Ryan fixed wheels onto the runners to accommodate our sandy terrain.”
Ryan surveyed the line of people. “Looks like you’re booked solid.”
Ethan unwound the reins from the post and placed them onto the driver’s perch. “Come back later, and I’ll give you the farm tour, Anna. Or better yet, Ryan can.” He winked at his brother as he swung into the seat.
“I’d love that.” Her gaze flickered to Ryan. “Maybe another day. Margaret mentioned something about costume fittings this afternoon, depending on when Tessa could get away.”
Ethan took the reins. “I heard Ryan got shanghaied into the Living Nativity. Better him than me. Though I can’t wait to see him in a dress.”
“It’s a robe, Ethan,” Ryan growled. “Not a dress.”
Ethan flicked the reins, and the sleigh rolled forward. “Whatever you say, big bro,” he called over his shoulder. “Whatever you say.”
She laughed. “The more things change, the more they remain the same.”
He tugged her toward the tree stand. “Boring. Yet another reason to leave.”
She shook her head. “Not boring. One of the things I love most about home.”
And not so boring with Anna home. Doubts flooded Ryan. Had he somehow missed what God wanted for him?
Was he making a mistake in leaving the kids? And then there was Anna. Would he have pursued the job opportunity if he’d known she’d return to Kiptohanock?
Anna raised her hand. “Excuse me, Mister Sabbage?”
He grinned. “Yes, Anna Banana?”
Anna moistened her lips with her tongue. “May I be excused for a bathroom break?”
“Since you asked so nicely...” He motioned toward the restroom they’d installed for visitors. “Be my guest.”
Anna fluttered her fingers as she headed toward the barn. “Thanks, friend.”
Despite the blue sky and the brisk, autumn-tinged air, his spirits plummeted. They were just friends. He scrubbed his hand over his jaw. He was beginning to hate the phrase “just friends.”
He needed to face reality. She didn’t have room for anyone in her heart but the baby. And the past would always stand between them ever pursuing a relationship.
The breakup with Karen had left him leery of trusting his heart to another. Since then, only the kids had breached the barrier he’d erected around his heart. Already his feelings for Anna were more than he should feel for a friend, no matter how dear.
Feelings with the potential to exceed anything he ever felt for Karen. And that, ultimately, wasn’t a path he’d willingly travel with Anna. Now more than ever, he needed to go off-Shore.
Because only an especially cruel heartache lay at the end of anything other than friendship with Anna. With everything awaiting him in his new job, to love Anna and her baby was a risk he couldn’t afford.