“So.” Leona leaned back in her armchair. “Online dating works.”
Sam grinned. “Yep. Jack’s great. He ticks all the boxes and I like him. You should come out to dinner with us one night, get to know him.”
“Definitely.” Leona hesitated. “So, what does Levi think of him?”
“They haven’t met yet.” Sam bit her lip. “Jack was actually a little jealous of Levi, you know, because we spend so much time together.”
“Does he know...?”
“No. Now that Jack and I are exclusive, Levi and I don’t do that anymore. So I didn’t think it was really necessary to tell him.”
“Have you and Jack...?”
“Not yet. Soon, though. Now that I’m not having sex with Levi, I miss it. And Jack’s really great; he’s an awesome kisser.”
“How is it with Levi, now that you guys are platonic?”
“Okay. A little weird. I hadn’t realized how intimate we were even when we weren’t having sex, until I needed to stop. Sometimes I reach out to touch him and have to stop myself. Once I’m having sex with Jack, it’ll probably get easier.
“Anyway—” Sam sipped her coffee. “—I haven’t had a chance to hear how you went. Was speed dating any good? You’ve been to three parties now.”
Leona rolled her eyes. “Yes and no. There were some nice people there. A lot of guys who were just there for a quick hookup. Nobody I really clicked with. Although I did make a new friend.”
“Oh?”
“The bartender. He loves watching speed dating, thinks it’s all pretty hilarious. Some of the stories he told me were funny. I think by now he’s seen it all.”
“I’ll bet.” Sam stared at her cup.
“Sammy?” Leona asked. “What’s wrong?”
Sam shook her head and smiled. “Nothing. I’m just being silly.”
“Silly how?” There was a note in Leona’s voice that made Sam look over at her. Her best friend was watching her with a guarded expression.
“Just silly. You know how, when things change, it feels a little odd? Even when it’s a good change, it’s a bit… I don’t know, scary. Things are changing, and I’m being silly about it.”
“I know the feeling,” Lee said quietly. She attempted to change the subject. “Have you bought your tickets for Monthly Movie Madness yet? I might come this month.” The regular all-night movie marathon hosted by a local cinema was at the end of the week, and Sam and Levi always went. It was the only time they actually watched movies, instead of talking or… other things.
Sam burst into tears.
“Sam?” Leona leaped up and rushed to Sam’s side. “What’s wrong? I don’t have to come.” Sam laughed through her tears.
“Don’t be stupid; you’re always welcome,” she said, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “But I’m not going this month.”
Leona sat on the coffee table. “What.”
“I—” Sam’s lip began to tremble, and she took a deep breath. “I’m not going. Jack wants to spend the time with me, so….”
“Why doesn’t Jack go with you? I’ll come too, and we can all meet for dinner first. Get to know each other. You’ve been doing this every month for nearly two years; it seems weird that he doesn’t want you to go.” Leona’s suggestion was so reasonable that Sam felt the tears rising again.
“I haven’t mentioned it to Jack. Levi didn’t say anything about it when I spoke to him the other day, and we normally flip a coin to see who gets the tickets. So I guess we’re not going.”
“So call Jack, tell him you always go to MMM and that this month you want him to come too and meet your friends. Then call Levi and flip the damn coin.” A hint of exasperation was sneaking into Leona’s tone. Sam focused on the floor. “Sam?”
“I don’t think I can,” she whispered.
“Why not?” The exasperation was gone, replaced by caution.
“Because it hurts.”
Suddenly, Leona’s hands were holding hers. “What hurts?”
“Levi.” The word was almost soundless, so she tried again. “Levi. It hurts to hang out with him now that things are… different.”
Silence.
“Sammy,” Leona finally said, her tone very careful. “I know you really like Jack. I know he made your heart beat faster when you met him. And he sounds like a really great guy. But are you sure he’s the guy for you?”
Sam stared fixedly at her hands, joined with her best friend’s.
“No. Because if he’s the guy for me, I can’t be with Levi.”
Leona let out an explosive breath. “Then why are you doing this? Why don’t you break up with Jack and go get Levi?”
Pulling her hands free, Sam slumped back on the sofa. “Because Jack’s a great guy. I really like him. And if I go after Levi and somehow fuck things up, I lose him forever. At least this way, he’s still there. He’s still my friend and my neighbor and I get to see him and spend time with him.”
“But you’re not! You’re not spending time with him because it hurts to be with him and not be intimate, to not treat him like he’s yours. Do you remember what I said to you when you and Levi started having sex? I said it was a bad idea, because it would ruin your friendship. I was wrong, Sam. It didn’t ruin your friendship; it took it to the next level. You guys spend more time together than half the couples I know. You keep his favorite foods in your house—”
“He does the same for me!” Sam said defensively.
“Exactly!” Leona cried. “You live next door to each other, for God’s sake. It’s not like you couldn’t run home and get what you wanted if you needed to.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Sammy, you and Levi are practically a couple already. The only thing missing is the label. There’s no way in hell you can fuck this up.”