Glossary of Mail-Order Bride Advertising Terms

(And What They Really Mean)

Eager to learn—can’t cook; can’t sew; can’t clean

Accomplished—can ride, shoot, and spit like a man

Modest dowry—poor as a church mouse

Independent means—mean face and mean disposition

Loving nature—keep her away from the ranch hands

Traditionally built—you may wish to reinforce the floors

Matrimonially inclined—working on husband number three

Maternal—has six children and one on the way

Possesses natural beauty—don’t let the false hair, cosmetic paints, or bolstered bosom scare you

Industrious—give her a dollar and she’ll figure out how to spend ten

Young looking—doesn’t look a day over sixty

And they lived happily ever after—AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.