Leaving the city meant they would need to get their hands on supplies. Adlai had stolen the signet rings of knights, pearl-rimmed astradials, books in dead languages, and coins enough to drown in. Some food and water shouldn’t be a problem.
They were crouched in an alleyway opposite the back entrance to a popular bakery; Adlai listened for the approach of guards, but the only movement on this side of the street came from the haggard and hungry. She looked sideways at Erikys. He’d wanted to do things his way. The “normal” way. But as risky as it was to use their shadows, Adlai knew it would be quicker and they could take more than their hands could carry.
A baker’s apprentice came out and discarded moldy loaves into a waste bin that the small, hunched crowd waited to dig through. It was as good a distraction as any. She edged forward.
The back door stayed open. Adlai could smell the wet dough of tomorrow’s bread being prepared and she arched her neck to look further in.
There. A store cupboard. She looked back at Erikys with meaning and he nodded.
They could take some of the fruit preserved in jars of lemon water, and there were plain biscuits stocked in tins, honey in pots—there were even bottles of wine. The wine wouldn’t be of much use, she thought, but they could fill the empty bottles with water.
She didn’t check if Erikys had his shadow out already; she had to concentrate on her own. Panic rushed through her at the thought that it might not respond. It had brought her back from the dead, but before that it had failed her in the market. The memory of the hooded stranger’s grip on her shadow and the cold feeling that came with it clouded her mind. For a moment all she could see was his hand on the ground, pulling her shadow toward him.
She forced her breathing to calm and closed her eyes. She wasn’t in the desert market. Her shadow was her own. Adlai reached for it and was hit by a rush of cold. Her chest tightened like ice had glazed over it, and she gasped, eyes flashing open to see her shadow spill onto the ground around her until all there seemed to be was blackness.
Her shadow stretched out in wild directions. It climbed over the alley walls, pushing against them as if it needed more space, to be larger. And inside the darkness: claws. She felt them scratch through her shadow, searching for something or trying to get out. She didn’t know. But she remembered the sensation. As a child she’d been afraid of her shadow because of this very feeling. As though a beast had control of her shadow. Her father had taught her how to control the fear, how to think of her shadow as no more than an extension of her arm.
She ignored the fear, pushed past it, and forced her mind to move her shadow as she had a thousand times before. But her shadow hit back at her. It slammed her against the alley’s brick wall.
“Adlai!”
Erikys was suddenly by her side. He was sweating as if his own shadow had been causing him trouble too.
Her shadow went quiet. Its burst of energy retreated the moment she’d been hurt. Instinctively she pulled it back, clenching her hands into fists to stop shaking.
“I need a minute,” she said. “Just give me a minute, then I’ll—”
“You’ll do nothing,” he said. He stood above her. “Gods alive, Adlai, we’re trying to escape the notice of the guards and you’re out here making your shadow large enough to steal the whole goddamn store.” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe what she’d been thinking. As if she’d been in control. “Keep that thing out of sight and stay put.”
She watched him take a discarded crate from the floor and head toward the back entrance, his shadow nowhere to be seen. He’d do things the normal way. His way.
* * *
His way took longer and ended with him running back to the alley, shouts ringing out behind him.
“Let’s go!” he called. The crate he was carrying looked full, but she couldn’t see of what exactly as he ran past her and she was forced to follow. But whatever he’d managed to steal was more than she had.
They twisted through busy streets, cloaking themselves in crowds until they ducked behind a badly lit tavern, aptly called the Stolen Star. Or it would be apt if Erikys had stolen stars and not, as it turned out, moldy bread and biscuits. He’d had the sense to get them water bottles at least, she thought, as she caught her breath.
“Not bad, eh?” he said, dumping his spoils on the ground.
She bit back the honest answer. If she’d been able to use her shadow, she could have gotten so much more . . . but in the time that he’d been gone, Adlai had attempted to use her shadow again, and the moment the cold had crept through her bones, she’d tensed and pulled it back. She tried to convince herself that the feeling would go away. It was just the strangeness of the day. Her body might not show signs of having died, but her shadow, like her mind, probably needed time to process what had happened to her. If her shadow was acting this way now, it was just because she was letting the fear take over.
But she wouldn’t let herself think of her failure right now. Getting out through the city gate was what she needed to focus on.
Drunken laughter sounded through the tavern’s window. She crouched against the wall, but they were well hidden if anyone did choose to look outside. They were next to a wagon piled high with barrels. She got up and took a closer look. The barrels stank of booze but they were empty. Empty and fairly large.
She turned to Erikys. When she’d first seen him in the desert market, she’d thought he was drunk and had the look of a farmer. Now she thought he could pass for an apprentice of most trades. He was strong, and every business needed a pair of strong hands.
“Could you pull this wagon?” she asked him.
It had wooden planks that could be lifted and pulled or tied to a horse’s saddle. Men that couldn’t afford livestock were often seen pulling wagons like this in the market. It wouldn’t look so strange.
Erikys had his back to her and didn’t answer immediately. He was watching the street, and as she came closer to him she saw what was drawing his eye.
The dusty streets were darkening and mostly empty, but there was a spot of white in the distance. She went cold. A city guard was knocking on doors. If the guard was searching for them, Adlai felt sure he’d come to the tavern. Crowds were the best hiding places, and drunks had the loudest mouths; they couldn’t really be sure no one had seen them run here.
She pulled at Erikys’s arm and repeated her question.
“Are you suggesting we steal this?” he asked.
“I’m suggesting you steal it.” She took a deep breath, already hating what her part of the plan would have to be. “I’ll be riding in one of these.” She tapped a barrel. “Try not to pick a bumpy path.”
Erikys looked at her as if she were insane and then laughed. “Of course not, princess. Should I steal you a plush cushion so you can take a nap while I get us to safety?”
Adlai clenched her hands. He didn’t get it. He hadn’t died today; he didn’t know how dangerous it would be for them to be caught again.
“What do you suggest?” she asked. “That we outrun another guard? Or maybe we pretend to be lovers having a drink inside the tavern?” She got closer to him. “The guards will find us if we stay here. They’ll be searching for us all night. Either we split up and try disguising ourselves, or you pull this damn wagon to the gate and we get the hell out of this city.”
Adlai hadn’t realized she was shaking until she stopped talking. She hugged her arms over her chest and looked quickly away.
She expected Erikys to joke or argue some more that her plan wouldn’t work, but when he spoke again, his voice was soft.
“I don’t think we should split up,” he said. “And I can pull that wagon.”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak again. There was a dirty canvas bag under one of the barrels that they could put the supplies in. It would make them easier to carry than in the bulky crate, and she could hide the bag with her in the barrel. She started filling it, her hair covering her face so that she didn’t notice Erikys bending down to help her. His hand brushed hers and she froze.
Whether it was from being attacked in the market or from being attacked in the prison hold, Adlai was on edge, but Erikys wasn’t her enemy.
To clear the awkwardness she felt, she turned back to him and smiled. “Once we’re past the gates, you can complain about my plan all you like.”
The gate was close by, and the tavern was busy enough that it might be a while before the wagon was even noticed missing.
She lifted the lid of one of the barrels toward the back and climbed inside. Erikys looked entirely unconvinced at the meager space it gave her to move and the single hole on the side as he placed the lid over her head. Then he was at the front of the wagon and she was lurched forward, the barrels shaking around her as he pulled it off and away into the fast-approaching night.
* * *
She stared at the city walls through the small hole in the barrel: the walls were smooth gray stone that was impossible to climb or even comfortably touch during the day. Five guards manned the main entrance: three by the gate and two on the wall. Perhaps they wouldn’t yet know to look for any runaway prisoners; perhaps they would get through without the checks.
“You there!”
Adlai stopped breathing. She stilled completely as the wagon jolted to a stop and she heard Erikys being called away by one of the gate guards.
He moved so far away that she couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Thump.
A barrel was knocked over. Then another. Adlai saw a flash of a hand as a lid was removed from the barrel next to her.
They were checking the barrels. Of course they were. But would they check every single one? And what was Erikys saying? She wanted to know exactly what was going on, but she had to be still. She closed her eyes and prayed that the goddess of whispers was listening.
Keep our secret, she begged. Don’t let us be caught here.
Not when the gate was right there.
The lid above her shifted. Light peeked into her barrel. She could only see the guard’s hand but soon she would see everything. Soon she would be seen.
Coldness crept out of her, but it wasn’t just fear: her shadow pushed against the barrel and the tight walls around her trembled. She couldn’t pull it back. She couldn’t breathe.
Hush, child. The words were soft, but the voice in her head was a growl. Her shadow wrapped around her. Claws sank into her. Let go.
Was she going mad? Had dying affected her mind as well as her shadow? Adlai stopped thinking, she stopped struggling—she didn’t want any part of what was about to happen next, because either the guard was going to yank her out of this barrel or some kind of madness was taking root.
She heard the barrel lid drop. Then the guard’s voice.
“Nothing here.”
The heaviness in her chest lifted. Everything was dark. She was still in a barrel, but somehow it wasn’t the same one she’d put herself in. This one was shut. Through the side hole, she could glimpse the guard, but the perspective was different. He was further away from her.
She swallowed. Her shadow had moved her. The voice had come from her shadow, not her mind, and it had somehow taken over and saved her.
“Like I said,” Erikys was saying, “they’re all just empty barrels.”
He was hurrying back to her, a confused look momentarily crossing his face. But whatever he might be thinking, he didn’t miss a beat. He picked the planks up again and with a grunt the wheels rolled toward the gated entrance.
The gates were open to them. They were leaving Libra. Adlai was leaving her old life behind, and already she was so very lost.
* * *
Erikys parked the wagon by the small dirt track that most travelers took when leaving Libra. Adlai waited a moment, then pushed the lid off the barrel and climbed out.
“I thought you were in that last one!” he said, relief palpable in his voice.
“We were lucky.” Adlai looked down as she wrapped the canvas bag with all their supplies so it hung heavy from her hips. She wasn’t sure she could explain what had happened. She wasn’t sure she knew.
Erikys grinned. “We did it, little thief.”
“Not quite,” she said. She gestured for him to follow her, but he hesitated, the grin sliding from his face.
“There’s nothing that way,” he said. And it was true; Adlai was walking away from the dirt track, away from the paths to other towns and cities.
She stopped and looked back at him.“We’ll be safe this way,” she said. It came out breathless and unsure.
“Safe in the desert?” Erikys repeated dumbly. “Who told you this?”
A dead woman told me, while I was dead. It sounded crazy enough in her head. So much of her head seemed crazy right now.
“You don’t have to follow me,” she said. “But no one will come for us out there.”
Erikys stared at her blankly. Then he gave a small, nervous laugh. “No, I don’t ’spect they will.”