“Mommy, is Ford going to be my new daddy?” Caitlyn asked as she spooned cornflakes into her mouth on Sunday morning.
“No, absolutely not,” Emma snapped. After her disconcerting conversation with Matt, this was absolutely the last thing Emma needed today. She swallowed hard when she realized that Caitlyn’s eyes were brimming with tears. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to yell.”
“I like him,” Caitlyn said with a sniff. “I want him to be my new dad. Besides, if you married him, we could live here.”
Emma didn’t have the patience or the words to explain all of the flaws in her daughter’s logic. What worried her most, though, was how eager Caitlyn was to claim Ford as a father. The two of them had only spent one day together, yet Caitlyn was already making up fantasies about him. That suggested she was desperate for a replacement for the man who paid no attention to her back in Denver.
“Baby, you don’t really know Ford all that well,” Emma explained. “Before somebody can be your daddy, we both have to get to know him and make sure he’s the right person.”
“I know he is,” Caitlyn said, regarding her seriously.
“What makes you so sure?” Maybe her six-year-old daughter had insights that would help her see Ford in a new light. How pathetic was that?
“Because he was really, really nice to me,” Caitlyn began predictably. “And he’s cute, and he understood that it was really, really important for me to have ice cream even though we’d already had pizza.”
“Yeah, I can see why that would be a clincher,” Emma said wryly. “But there are more important things to consider.”
“What things?”
“Grown-up things.”
“But I get a say, don’t I?”
“When the time comes, of course you get to express an opinion,” Emma assured her. “Yours is just not the most important opinion.”
“Who gets that?”
“Me.”
“Maybe I should pick,” Caitlyn said, a frown puckering her brow. “You didn’t do such a good job last time.”
It was all Emma could do not to burst into tears. For her daughter to say something so matter-of-factly condemning her own father—and her mother’s judgment—spoke volumes about what she’d been through, about what the adults in her life had put her through. Emma had always prayed that Caitlyn had been oblivious to most of it. Obviously she’d been wrong.
She reached for her daughter’s hand and pressed kisses to her fingers. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. But there’s one thing we should never, ever forget, no matter how mad or sad your dad makes us.”
Caitlyn regarded her doubtfully. “What?”
“If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have you,” Emma said softly. “And you are the very best thing that has ever happened to me. So every single day I thank God that your dad and I made you.”
Caitlyn seemed intrigued by the concept. “You mean like you’d make a doll? Did you put me together?”
Emma laughed. “No, it didn’t work like that. Someday I’ll explain.”
“I want to know now. I saw Pepper have her kittens in the barn yesterday. Was it like that?”
Emma had forgotten how many lessons there were to be learned on a ranch at a very early age. “Something like that.”
“I was inside you?”
Emma was beginning to regret opening up this particular topic. “Yes.”
“And Daddy put me there?”
“Yes.”
“How? By kissing you?”
“That was part of it.”
Caitlyn’s eyes widened. “Does that mean you and Ford are gonna have a baby?”
“Good heavens, no.”
“But he kissed you when he brought you home.”
Emma was clinging to her sanity by a thread. “It wasn’t the same kind of kiss,” she explained patiently. “Now finish your cereal. I think your grandfather is waiting for you down at the barn. He wants you to help him groom your pony this morning.”
“I’m done,” Caitlyn said, suddenly eager, the disconcerting topic of making babies forgotten. She jumped down from her chair. “Bye, Mommy. Did Grandpa tell you I could have one of the kittens for my very own?”
“No, he neglected to mention that,” Emma said, already resigned to the inevitable. Maybe the prospect of taking home a kitten would make the break easier for Caitlyn when they went back to Denver tomorrow.
Caitlyn regarded her worriedly. “It’s okay, isn’t it?”
“It’s okay.”
Her daughter raced back and threw her arms around Emma’s neck. “I love you, Mommy.”
“I love you, too,” Emma whispered, but Caitlyn was already gone, the screen door slamming behind her.
A sound had Emma turning around to find her mother lurking in the doorway to the dining room.
“Out of the mouths of babes,” her mother said.
“I think she’s six, going on sixteen. What on earth is she going to be asking me when she’s a teenager for real?” Emma asked.
“The same things, only she’ll want to know because she’s interested in some boy. Now it’s because she thinks you are.” Her mother studied her with a penetrating gaze. “Are you?”
“I like Ford, Mom,” she said cautiously, hoping to dispel the hopeful look in her mother’s eyes. “As a friend.”
“He seems like an awfully nice man.”
Emma regarded Millie with exasperation. “You would say that. He’s a pawn in your scheme, isn’t he? I saw the two of you the other night with your heads together. He wouldn’t tell me what you were talking about, but I know you. Don’t use Ford, Mom. It’s not fair to him.”
“I would never use anyone,” her mother retorted with indignation, then shrugged. “But if there’s an attraction there, I am not above fanning it.”
“Stay out of it,” Emma advised. “No good will come of encouraging him.”
“Because you’re too stubborn to see what’s in front of your face, I imagine.”
Emma sighed. “I am not having this conversation again. I’m going into town. Should I get Caitlyn and take her along?”
“Absolutely not. She’s fine with your father. If she starts getting in his way, she can help me bake cookies until it’s time to go to church. She seemed surprised when I took some out of the oven the other day. She said she thought cookies came from the store.”
“Some do,” Emma said tightly. “Caitlyn is not deprived just because I don’t bake cookies with her.”
“Did I say she was?”
“More or less,” Emma said. Her defensiveness was firmly in place, and it wasn’t even eight in the morning yet. “I’ll see you later.”
She left before she could get into a full-blown argument with her mother. One thing for certain, she couldn’t stay here much longer without all of the unspoken criticism of her lifestyle bubbling to the surface. She had to leave before there was a rift in the family that could never be mended.
* * *
“You look as if you’ve lost your best friend,” Ford said when he spotted Emma sitting in a booth at Stella’s, an untouched cup of coffee cooling in front of her. “Can I help?”
“Not unless you can think of a way to convince my mother that I am not ruining my daughter’s life because I don’t have time to teach her to bake cookies.”
He could see how such an accusation might get Emma’s dander up. She was the kind of woman who needed to believe that she was excelling at whatever she tackled, motherhood included. Obviously she wouldn’t like her shortcomings pointed out to her.
“Tensions running high at the ranch this morning?” he asked, keeping his tone light.
“You could say that. I’ve always sensed that they disapproved of the way I was raising Caitlyn, but now that I’ve been here a while, it’s all beginning to come out. Before, my visits were so brief there wasn’t time to get into anything serious. Now the potshots are starting to fly.”
“It’s only because they care about you and Caitlyn,” he said.
Emma regarded him with obvious impatience. “I know that. That doesn’t make it any easier to take. To top it off, my daughter seems to think she should get to choose the next man in my life, because I didn’t do so well the last time.”
Ford bit back a grin. “Does she have any particular candidate in mind?”
Emma frowned at him. “As if I’d tell you.”
He couldn’t help it. He smiled. “Dare I hope that she picked me?”
“Don’t be so smug. You were convenient. Besides, it was the pizza and ice cream combination that did it. And that was a one-time-only concession on my part. If you try it again, I’ll shoot you down.”
“She didn’t get sick, did she?”
“No, but that’s not the point. That’s a little too much indulgence for a six-year-old. Next thing I know, you’ll be plying her with hot dogs and cotton candy and ice-cream sundaes. She’ll want to move in with you.”
“A treat now and then can’t hurt her.”
“Now and then being the key words. Keep them in mind.”
“Are you really upset because Caitlyn had a good time the other night, or is the real problem that you did?” Ford challenged her.
He could tell from her startled reaction that his perception was right on the mark. “You did have a good time, didn’t you, despite worrying about what your mother and I were up to?”
“Okay, yes, it was nice to spend a relaxing day out with nothing more important on my mind than choosing shorts and T-shirts for Caitlyn.” She regarded him curiously. “How about you? Were you bored to tears? Men usually hate shopping.”
“I was in it for the company.” His gaze locked with hers. “You could never bore me, Emma.”
She looked shaken by his claim. “Don’t say things like that.”
“Why not, if it’s true?”
“It can’t be true.”
Ford chuckled. “You don’t want me to think of you as an intellectually stimulating, exciting, attractive woman?”
She seemed surprisingly puzzled by the description. “That’s how you see me?”
“Of course,” he said at once, then studied her. “Emma, how do you see yourself?”
“Oh, I suppose I’m smart enough, but the rest…I don’t know.”
“Trust me, you are exciting and attractive. When did you begin to doubt that? Was it your husband? What did he do to you, Emma?” He could barely keep the anger out of his voice. The man had obviously been a first-class jerk.
She gave him a faint smile. “Leaping to my defense, Ford?”
“Just speaking the truth. If he did anything to convince you that you were somehow unworthy or less than who you are, he was an idiot.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“You still haven’t answered me. What did he do?”
“I don’t want to get into a discussion of my ex-husband.”
“I think you need to,” he said. “I think you need to talk about it. Have you ever told anyone what your marriage was like?”
“My friends know, more or less.”
“My guess is less. Did you keep it to yourself because you felt humiliated in some way? Failing at marriage isn’t that uncommon in this day and age. It doesn’t make you any less of a woman.” He looked directly into her eyes. “Unless, of course, you’re a perfectionist.”
That faint smile came and went again. “You got me,” she said lightly.
“Well, it takes two to make a marriage work. Whatever happened in yours, your ex-husband deserves his share of the blame. In fact, one of these days, when you trust me enough to tell me what really happened, I have a feeling you’re going to realize that in this case, he deserves most of the blame.”
She gave him a rueful look. “Funny thing about that. Intellectually I know you’re right. Everything played out exactly the way it had to.” She tapped her chest. “In here, though, I’m having a hard time buying it.”
“Stick with me,” Ford said lightly. “I’ll work on convincing you.”
Something told him it was going to be worth the effort, that Emma Rogers would be a helluva woman once she believed in herself again. Right now, she valued herself only when it came to her skills as a lawyer. To give her a boost in the new direction, he leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to her lips.
“Gotta run,” he said, once he was satisfied that he’d stirred enough heat to get her attention. “I promised the pastor at the Methodist church that I’d come to hear his sermon this morning. I believe he’s talking about second chances.”
Apparently he’d rendered her speechless, because she simply watched him go, but the blush on her cheeks and the glimmer of hope in her eyes spoke volumes.
* * *
“Well, now, that was absolutely fascinating,” Cassie said, fanning herself as she slid into the booth opposite Emma. “I do believe I’m breathless just from watching.”
Emma scowled at her. “Leave it alone.”
“Why? The man doesn’t scare you, does he?”
“Of course not.”
Cassie grinned. “Liar. You’re scared spitless. You’re actually starting to feel something for Ford Hamilton, and that would be darned inconvenient, wouldn’t it?”
“Inconvenient doesn’t begin to cover it,” Emma muttered. “I don’t trust him. I can’t.”
“Ford?” Cassie said incredulously. “Why on earth not?”
“He’s a journalist.”
“So?”
“He’s in a position to do considerable damage to my client. He already has, by letting that picture Teddy took make its way into the Cheyenne paper.”
“By the time this case goes to trial, people will have forgotten all about that picture,” Cassie predicted.
“You can bet the prosecutor won’t have forgotten. I’m betting he’s already gotten a warrant for the original,” Emma told her friend.
“That would have happened anyway. Too many people knew Teddy took pictures that night and that there was a fight. Don’t you think a halfway decent prosecutor would have found out sooner or later and come after the film?”
“I suppose.” Actually, Emma acknowledged to herself, Cassie was right, though the prosecutor might have had less luck getting his hands on anything incriminating if none of the photos had been printed. She could have made a case that Ford had no obligation to turn over anything that hadn’t been in the paper. It might have worked.
“You’re not going to let that picture stand between you and Ford, are you?”
Emma sighed. “Not really. I did go out with him. We took Caitlyn to the mall over in Laramie and went to a movie.”
Cassie beamed. “That’s terrific. Give him a chance. I don’t think Ford is the kind of man who’ll let you down.”
“Should I point out that you don’t know him any better than I do? You just got back in town yourself.”
“Right. But since I’ve been working at Stella’s, I’ve heard things. Ford’s already earned a lot of respect around here. He’s been moving cautiously, trying not to rattle too many cages until he knows more about the town. Ryan likes him. So does Stella. They’re both good judges of character.”
“True,” Emma said. “But I’m not looking for a relationship, especially in Winding River. I need to get back to Denver, anyway. Sue Ellen’s case won’t go to trial for a few weeks yet. There are things I could be doing at home.”
“You’ll be breaking Caitlyn’s heart if you take her back there now.”
“I know, but it’s for the best. She has to understand that staying here isn’t permanent. The longer we stick around now, the harder it will be on her when we go back for good.”
Cassie nodded. “I suppose you’re right. But I’m going to miss you, Emma. When will you go?”
“Tomorrow, I think. I have a case going to trial in Denver next week. This will give me a few days to catch up and prepare for that.”
“When will you be back here?”
“That’s hard to say. I’ll have to make a few more trips to interview prospective witnesses for Sue Ellen.”
“Will you see Ford when you’re in town?”
“It would probably be better if I didn’t, especially as we get closer to trial. I don’t want to give him the opportunity to try to pump me for information.”
“Ford wouldn’t do that,” Cassie protested.
“So you say. I can’t take any chances.”
“Do you think Ryan would take any chances where Sue Ellen’s future is concerned?”
“No, of course not.”
“He spends time with Ford.”
Emma regarded her wryly. “I don’t think it’s quite the same thing. I doubt Ford has the same expectations where Ryan’s concerned.”
Cassie grinned. “Are you saying that Ford might use sex to pry information out of you?”
Emma felt her cheeks burn. “Absolutely not.”
“Well, then, there shouldn’t be a problem,” Cassie said. “You’re tough. You’ll tell him what you want him to know and nothing else.”
“I think it might be easier if I didn’t tell him anything at all, if I just steered clear of him.”
“Seems like a waste of a perfectly good man, if you ask me. You’re throwing away your best chance at a relationship.”
“If I wanted a man in my life, I would have one,” Emma insisted, though the reality was that she hadn’t accepted a single invitation to go out on a date until Ford came along. “I certainly don’t want one in Winding River, and I don’t want him to be Ford.”
“Well, I think you’re wrong on both counts,” Cassie said. “And time is going to prove me right.”
Emma was more afraid of that than she dared to admit.
* * *
Cassie’s words were still ringing in her ears when Emma arrived at the jail to bring Sue Ellen up to speed on her plans. She found Ryan in her client’s cell, with the door slightly open.
“Security’s a little lax around here, isn’t it?” she teased.
Ryan jumped up guiltily. “I was just giving Sue Ellen a pep talk. She’s beginning to get discouraged. She thinks everyone in town blames her for what happened.”
“That’s not true,” Emma said fiercely, thinking of what Ford had told her when she’d asked him what he’d been hearing. “No one is blaming you, least of all anyone who knows the facts.”
“That’s what I said,” Ryan added, his gaze warm as it rested on Sue Ellen’s face. He tucked a finger under her chin. “Keep this pretty chin up, darlin’. Emma’s going to have you out of here in no time.”
“And then what?” Sue Ellen asked, sounding weary. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“You have a sister in Montana. You can stay with her for a while,” Ryan observed.
“I’ll need to work,” Sue Ellen said, her expression still bleak. “What can I do? I haven’t had a job in years.”
“One bridge at a time,” Ryan told her firmly. “When the time comes, you’ll have plenty of options.”
Emma had the distinct impression that a life with the sheriff was going to be one of Sue Ellen’s options. That worried her a little. She was pretty sure Ryan didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for. More than Sue Ellen’s body had been bruised during her marriage. It was going to be a long while before her soul healed sufficiently to allow another man to get close.
Emma glanced at him. “You going to be around when I’m through talking to Sue Ellen?”
“I can be,” he said.
“Good. I won’t be long.”
When Ryan had left them alone, Sue Ellen’s gaze followed him. “He’s a nice man, isn’t he?”
“He always was. Ryan’s the best.”
“I wish…” Her voice trailed off.
“What do you wish, sweetie?”
Sue Ellen shrugged, her expression desolate. “It’s too late now.”
“It’s never too late,” Emma insisted. “Ryan is right. You’ll have plenty of time for making better choices when you’re out of here. You’ll be able to start over.”
“How can I?” she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. “How can I ever be happy again?”
“Because you deserve to be happy,” Emma said fiercely.
Sue Ellen shook her head. “No, I don’t. How can I? Donny’s dead, and it’s because of me.”
“No, it’s because of him. He was going to shoot you, Sue Ellen. You know that. You were just protecting yourself.”
“He wouldn’t have shot me. Donny loved me.”
“No, dammit, he didn’t. If he’d loved you, he could never have treated you the way he did. Never.” She took Sue Ellen’s hands and held them tightly. “I want you to believe that. What Donny felt for you was the opposite of love. He needed to control you, to possess you. That is not love.”
Sue Ellen continued to weep quietly. As Ryan had done moments before, Emma tucked a finger under her chin and made Sue Ellen face her. “I want to have a counselor come in to talk to you. You need help to understand that what Donny did to you was wrong. You’re a wonderful person, Sue Ellen. I see it. Ryan sees it. So do most of the people in Winding River. It’s time you see it, as well. Will you talk to someone?”
For an instant there was a rare flicker of hope in Sue Ellen’s eyes. She nodded.
“Good. I’ll make the arrangements,” Emma promised. “In the meantime, I’m going to give you my number in Denver. If you need me, morning or night, just call. Ryan will facilitate it. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks or sooner, if anything comes up.”
Sue Ellen clung to her hand. “But you will be back?”
“Absolutely. We’re in this together, and I won’t let you down. I promise.”
“I don’t know why you’re doing this for me, Emma, but I’m grateful.”
“I’m doing it because you’re a good person.” Emma patted her hand, then left the cell. She stood for a minute outside the door. “I won’t rest until you believe that.”
“Thank you,” Sue Ellen whispered, curling once again into a fetal position on the cot that was the only furniture in the cell.
Emma felt sick inside at the thought of leaving her there, but until the trial, there was nothing she could do for Sue Ellen. She went to Ryan’s office and knocked, then walked in.
“Keep an eye on her, will you?” she said. “I’m worried about how depressed she is.”
He nodded grimly. “I know. I’m spending as much time with her as I can.”
“She’s agreed to let me send in a psychologist. I’ll make the arrangements before I leave tomorrow.”
“You’re going back to Denver? I thought…”
“I can’t stay here indefinitely, Ryan. I’ll be back as often as I can be.”
“What about Ford?”
She frowned at him. “Ford is not an issue.”
“Oh, really?” he said, grinning. “You could have fooled me.”
“I’d rather talk about your feelings for Sue Ellen,” she countered.
His grin faded. “I never denied caring about her,” he said, instantly on the defensive.
“I know that. I just want you to understand what you’re in for. It’s going to take a long time before she can trust another man. She may never be able to.”
Ryan sighed. “In my gut, I guess I know that. I have to try, though. I’ve spent my whole life caring about her. I can’t stop now.”
Emma smiled at him. “I was hoping you’d say that. Despite everything that’s happened, Sue Ellen’s a lucky woman. You’re one of those rare good guys, Ryan.”
“I just hope that one of these days she’ll see it that way,” he said, his expression sad.
“If anybody can help her get there, you can,” she said with conviction. “Just be patient.”
“I’ve waited all these years. A few more won’t matter.”
She walked over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re a wonderful man, Ryan Taylor.”
He caught her hand when she would have walked away.
“What?”
“So is Ford.”
Emma sighed. “I know that.”
“Then give him a chance.”
“Why is it that all my friends and my family think they get a vote in this?”
“Because we love you.”
“So you say,” she said. “Right now I could do with a little less love and a little more faith that I know what’s best for me.”
He grinned. “Sorry, no can do. You’re just going to have to put up with us nudging you.”
“That is not the way to get me to spend more time here,” she pointed out.
“Because you’re stubborn.”
“Probably,” she conceded.
“Just one thing, Emma darlin’. I’ve known you for most of your life. I know how much pride you have, so a word of caution—don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.”
Much as she hated to admit it, that was probably good advice.