CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Lauren took the morning off to drive into Winding River. After her conversation with Wade the night before, she wanted to talk to Emma. While all of her friends were sensible, Emma was the one who was the least romantic, the least likely to get caught up in the thrill of a relationship and forget the practicalities. Lauren had called her at dawn, aware that years of workaholic habits hadn’t deserted Emma even after months back in Winding River. They had agreed to meet for breakfast at Stella’s.

Lauren was in their favorite secluded booth in the back when Emma strolled in. Stella already had her coffee cup filled and had left her usual breakfast of cereal and a banana. Emma frowned at them.

“Am I that predictable?” she asked Lauren.

“We all are,” Lauren lamented, picking at her usual bowl of strawberries with not even a dollop of milk in the bowl, much less cream. “And after all these years, if we tried to change, it would probably shock Stella so badly she’d have to retire.”

Emma sighed and picked up her spoon. “Oh, well, at least it’s healthy.” She gazed at Lauren and waited. “Come on. You didn’t call me at 6:00 a.m. just for my scintillating company. You were fine when I saw you yesterday, so something’s obviously happened. Spit it out.”

“That’s what I love about you. You’re so sympathetic.”

“You didn’t call me for sympathy, you called for my levelheaded advice—am I right?”

“Yes,” Lauren agreed meekly.

“I can’t give it if you don’t tell me the problem.”

“Okay, okay. I think I may have made a terrible mistake with Wade and I don’t know how to fix it,” she blurted.

Emma went absolutely still. “What kind of mistake? He’s not hurting you, is he?”

Lauren felt the color drain from her face. She should have realized that would be Emma’s greatest fear. Emma had dealt with too many domestic-violence tragedies in her law career, first in Denver, then with the shooting death that had kept her coming back to Winding River for months before she’d finally decided to stay.

“Absolutely not,” she assured her friend. “I’m sorry. I should have been more careful. No, actually this is something I did. Or didn’t do.”

Emma’s concerned expression eased. “You’re not making a lot of sense,” she said.

“I’ve kept things from him. I told you before that I never told him about my career in Hollywood. Apparently he’s not a movie fan, so he still doesn’t have a clue what I did when I lived in California.”

“And you think he’s going to be furious when he finds out about the deception?” Emma guessed. “You’re probably right.”

“Thanks. That’s just what I needed to hear.”

She shrugged. “You asked. I told you a long time ago that it wasn’t a good idea to keep that kind of secret.”

“It’s just that I was so tired of being Lauren Winters, the superstar,” Lauren explained defensively. “Karen and I both thought it would be a good idea to leave my identity a secret at the beginning, so Wade would just be getting to know me. He didn’t even know my last name until last night.”

Emma regarded her incredulously. “You were sleeping with a man who didn’t know your last name?”

Lauren shrugged. “You know how it is. If you miss an introduction at the very beginning, sooner or later it begins to get awkward to ask. Besides, I was afraid it would tip him off. Turns out, he still doesn’t have a clue. Now if I tell him, especially with the way he feels about money and power, I’m afraid he’ll completely freak out.”

“Okay, this has gone beyond making sure that he’s not just after you for your money. You have to tell him,” Emma said flatly. In her world, things were usually black or white. It was only when it came to her sense of justice and mercy that she found the shades of gray. “The sooner, the better. I can’t believe no one has slipped around him before now.”

“Probably because all of you know that I wanted to leave Hollywood behind, and people here in town have just come to accept me the way they remember me from before. They’re simply relieved that I didn’t come back putting on airs or dragging an entourage of celebrities with me.”

“I’m sure that’s true,” Emma agreed. “But you’re…” She fumbled for a minute, gestured at Lauren and added, “You’re you. How is it that no stranger has recognized you and asked for your autograph while Wade’s around?”

Lauren laughed. “Not without my makeup, I’m not ‘me.’ Not even the tourists make the connection, though once in a long while someone will look at me with a faintly puzzled expression, as if they recognize me but can’t quite place me.”

“I still say you’ve been lucky to get away with it this long. Tell him, Lauren, and while you’re at it, explain why it was so important to you that he accept you for the woman you are. Otherwise he’s going to think you deliberately set out to make a fool out of him.”

“I would never do that,” Lauren protested.

“Of course you wouldn’t, but he might not be able to see that if he discovers the truth some other way.”

“You’re right. I know you are,” Lauren said wearily. “But it’s been such a relief just being me again.”

“Sweetie, being a superstar is a part of who you are. You can’t lock that part of your life in a closet and forget about it. It’s one of the reasons you crave your privacy, the same as me,” she said with a commiserating expression. “I had my fill of media attention in Denver, and it almost destroyed me. I almost let it destroy what Ford and I were building together until I woke up and realized he was a different kind of journalist from that creep my ex-husband had bought off to ruin my professional reputation. My mistake was trying to bury the past, instead of sharing it with Ford so we could deal with it.”

Lauren was absorbing Emma’s advice when Emma’s cell phone rang. She still carried it out of habit, though it didn’t ring nearly as persistently as it once had. Now, more often than not, it was Caitlyn calling to report on her latest riding lesson or Ford calling just to say hello. Emma fished it out of her purse, answered it, then handed it to Lauren.

“For you,” Emma said. “It’s your agent.”

Lauren reluctantly accepted the phone. “Jason, what on earth are you doing calling me on Emma’s cell phone?”

“I called the ranch. When I told Karen it was urgent that I get in touch with you, she thought that would be the quickest way to track you down.”

“What kind of business could we possibly have that’s so urgent?”

“Brace yourself,” he warned. “I’ve had a dozen inquiries in the last few days from reporters wanting to know your whereabouts.”

Lauren’s heart began to thud. “What have you told them? Why are they even looking for me?”

“I haven’t told them anything,” he said defensively. “In fact, I’ve done my level best to steer them in the wrong direction, but it’s possible that may have backfired.”

“Backfired how?”

“They’re more determined than ever to find you. They think there’s some big secret, that you’re sick or locked away in drug rehab or something. One of the TV entertainment magazines got wind of the fact that you’d turned down a fortune to do that new movie. Now everybody wants to know why.”

“Oh my God,” she murmured. She knew what the tabloid—and even the legitimate mainstream—reporters could be like once they sensed a big story. “Can’t you issue some sort of statement?”

“I can try,” Jason said. “But they’re not going to rest until they see you in person. I think you should fly back, hold a press conference and dispel all the rumors. It would be better than letting them track you down, at least if you hope to maintain any privacy over there.”

Lauren could see the sense in what he was suggesting, but the thought of going back, even for a day, stirred up all the tension she’d thought was finally behind her.

Then again, maybe this really would put the whole thing to rest, once and for all. No one would be able to accuse her of slipping away to hide something. And sooner or later the frenzy would die down and people would forget about her. She could live the rest of her life in blissful anonymity.

“Okay,” she said at last. “I’ll come back. Call my publicist and explain what’s going on. Set up a press conference for tomorrow at one o’clock at your office. I’ll fly in in the morning and leave right after the press conference. No one-on-one interviews.”

“Great,” he said. “I’ll take care of it. I really do think this is for the best.”

“I hope to heaven you’re right,” she said.

Now all she had to do was find Wade and explain everything to him before she left. He had to know the whole truth before it was splashed across the front page of every newspaper in the country. Keeping it from him now was out of the question.

When she’d hung up, she explained everything to Emma.

“You’re doing the right thing,” she assured Lauren. “Now get home and tell Wade.” She grinned. “Maybe you can even talk him into going with you. With a man that gorgeous by your side, no one would ever question why you decided to walk away from Hollywood. Besides, everybody loves a great romance. You ought to know. You starred in enough of them.”

* * *

Unfortunately, when Lauren got back to the ranch, Karen greeted her with more bad news.

“Grady and Wade had to ride up into the hills,” she explained. “Some of our herd broke through a fence up there, and they’re trying to round them up. I’m not expecting them back tonight. I would have gone with them, but somebody had to stay here to take care of the horses.”

“That and the fact that Grady wouldn’t let you go,” Lauren guessed.

“Well, he did mount a pretty strenuous case against it,” Karen admitted. “I decided to let him win this one, because someone did need to stay behind.”

“What about me?”

“I knew the second I talked to Jason that there was a good chance you’d have to go to Los Angeles to settle this media frenzy that had him so worked up.”

“That could have waited.”

“No,” Karen insisted. “Better to get it over with before you have photographers crawling all over Winding River. How long could it be before one of them decided to check out your hometown?”

“You’re right. I’d better get upstairs and pack. Maybe I’ll fly out tonight, so I’ll have a little time to meet with my publicist before tomorrow’s press conference. Are you sure Wade and Grady won’t get back tonight?”

“Not without a miracle.”

Lauren called the local airport and made arrangements to charter the same plane she’d used before to fly her in and out of Winding River. She would call her publicist from the plane.

When she was ready to leave, she hugged Karen tightly. “Please, whatever you do, keep Wade away from newspapers and the TV tomorrow. I have to explain all of this to him myself.”

“I’ll do my best,” Karen promised. She tucked a finger under Lauren’s chin. “Remember, chin up. Fighting spirit. And once this is over, you can put it all behind you once and for all—if that’s what you want.”

“It is,” Lauren said fervently. She just prayed it would go according to plan and that she’d still have the man she loved to come home to when it was over.

* * *

By the time Wade and Grady made it back to the ranch two days later, they were exhausted, sweaty and filthy. All Wade wanted was a long shower, some halfway decent food and a good night’s sleep. A couple of sweet kisses from Lauren wouldn’t be such a bad thing either, he thought with a burst of anticipation as he unsaddled his horse and headed for his house. He doubted if he could handle anything more intense right about now.

“Come on up for some food before you head to bed,” Grady told him. “I imagine Lauren will be around.” He grinned. “In case that’s an incentive.”

“Oh, it is,” Wade confirmed.

He’d actually missed her the last couple of days. Never before, with the exception of his mother, had he had ties to anyone that ran deep enough for him to care whether he saw them from one minute to the next or not. Phone calls satisfied his need to be in touch with his mother, but that wouldn’t be nearly enough with Lauren. In fact, now he knew with certainty that he couldn’t go for long without catching a glimpse of her, without holding her in his arms.

He rushed through his shower, pulled on clean clothes and hurried up to the main house. Karen greeted him with a smile.

“You must be starved. I’ve got breakfast almost ready. Have a seat. Grady should be back down any minute.”

He glanced around, but there was no sign of Lauren. “Where’s Lauren?” he asked, not giving two hoots if he appeared overly anxious. Everyone in this house seemed to know where things stood between them anyway.

A flash of something that might have been guilt tracked across Karen’s face. “She had to go out of town unexpectedly.”

Wade’s gut began to churn. “When?”

“The same day you and Grady took off to round up the cattle.”

“Where’d she go?”

“Los Angeles. She thought she’d be back yesterday, but she got held up. She called last night. She expects to be home by tonight.”

Thoughts of that persistent business associate of hers tormented him. “Does this have something to do with Jason?” he asked, his voice tight.

Karen kept her back to him, deliberately focusing on the bacon she was cooking. “I’ll let her explain every thing. She’d hoped to talk to you last night. She was disappointed that you weren’t home yet.”

Wade shoved away from the table, his appetite suddenly gone. “Thanks for the offer of breakfast, but I’ve got to go.”

She turned then, her expression stricken. “Don’t go. The food’s ready.”

“No appetite,” he insisted. “I need sleep more than I need food.”

All the way to his place, he wrestled with his rude behavior and the reason for it. He had no business taking it out on Karen just because he was disappointed—okay, upset—by Lauren’s vanishing act the minute his back was turned. He was just exhausted. That had to be it. He trusted Lauren, didn’t he? Of course he did. She had never given him any reason to do otherwise. She had explained about this Jason person time and again. There was no reason to be worried.

In fact, the way to avoid this kind of response in the future was to solidify their relationship. It was all well and good to say that they were committed to each other, as they had the other night, but marriage was the only commitment that really counted.

With that thought in mind, Wade managed to catch a couple of hours of sleep, then drove to Laramie in search of a jewelry store. He was going to do this right. He’d buy Lauren the most expensive ring he could afford, maybe get some flowers and a bottle of champagne and be ready and waiting for her when she got home from this trip.

Once they were married, he’d never have to doubt what they’d found with each other again. She could take off and go around the world on a whim, but he’d know that she was always going to come home to him.

He honestly didn’t know how he’d gotten to be so lucky. He’d never expected to meet a woman who was not only gorgeous, but who knew horses the way Lauren did, a woman who wouldn’t mind sharing the hard work of ranch life. He was beginning to believe in that destiny stuff people talked about. He and Lauren could build a good future together.

He couldn’t give her everything she deserved overnight, but he’d been putting money aside. He could buy his own spread in another year or two. The breeding was already coming along, thanks to his partnership with Grady. They were already on their way to having some of the best stock in Wyoming. Until all the pieces fell into place, he could go on working for Grady. Lauren could, too, if that’s what she wanted. Or she could hire out to other ranchers, consult with them on horses that needed someone to take a little extra time, use a little extra ingenuity in their training.

Or she could just stay at home and have their babies. The thought brought an unexpected swell of feeling up from deep inside him. Wade had never imagined wanting a family so much, never thought about being a husband, much less a father. But seeing the tenderness between Karen and Grady now that she was carrying his child had made him want that for himself. He’d wanted to watch Lauren grow big with his baby inside her.

Because he wanted all of it so badly, he should have known it was destined to blow up in his face. That was the way things went in his life. Nothing was ever as perfect as it seemed. Nothing lasted.

As he stood in a Laramie drugstore, frozen in place, his gaze locked on the front page of a tabloid, his entire world came crashing down just when he was beginning to think it was perfect.

There was no mistaking that incredible face, no mistaking the dazzling smile, though the rest—the glamorous hairdo, the jewels, the designer gown—were as unfamiliar to him as pricey champagne.

Why Is This Superstar Hiding Out? the headline asked.

Wade stared at the picture, dumbfounded. For a second, he dared to hope that it was her twin, but there was her name beneath the picture, the full name she had deliberately kept from him for months, the name she had been so reluctant to share even when he’d pushed.

In a daze, he picked up the paper and carried it out to his truck. He sat in the front seat, the paper resting on the steering wheel, the damning words swimming in front of eyes that were blurry with unshed tears.

Again and again, his gaze was drawn back to the expensive beaded gown that must have cost more than his annual salary. Lauren’s hair, which fell over him in a shower of fire when they made love, was done up on top of her head with glittering jewels tucked among the curls. Diamonds, no doubt. His stomach clenched at the sight.

All these months and he hadn’t known—hadn’t even guessed—that she had this other life. All these months she had been lying to him, making a fool of him. She was everything he hated—wealthy, powerful, duplicitous, conniving. How could he not have known that about her? How could he have let himself be deceived the same way his mother had been? Only this was worse, because Lauren had known how he felt about all the things she apparently was. She had known and played with his emotions anyway.

And what about Grady? Why hadn’t he said something? He knew Wade was falling for Lauren. He’d even encouraged it. All of them had. But Grady was his friend, or so he’d thought. Why hadn’t he warned Wade off, told him she was out of his league?

He balled up the paper and tossed it on the seat beside him. Filled with gut-churning outrage and betrayal, he drove back to the ranch, packed his things, tossed them haphazardly into the back of his truck, and went to look for Grady.

* * *

“I just wanted you to know I’m taking off,” he said tightly when he found Grady. “I figured I owed you that courtesy, which is a helluva lot more than I got from you.”

Grady regarded him with a shocked expression. “What’s that supposed to mean? What’s gotten into you?”

“You and your wife and your superstar friend must have been having a great time laughing behind my back,” Wade said, tossing the crumpled newspaper down in front of Grady. He gestured toward the picture of Lauren. “What was I? Some brief interlude with the hired help that Lauren could brag about when she went back to her fancy digs in California?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Grady insisted.

Wade regarded his boss incredulously. “You didn’t know that Lauren is a big-time Hollywood actress?”

“Of course I knew that.” Grady’s jaw dropped. “Didn’t you?”

“How would I know?”

“The whole town knows who Lauren is. I figured you’d heard about her. And since you’ve gotten closer, what you didn’t hear I figured she’d tell you herself. I know she’s been hoping to maintain a low profile now that she’s back, but of all people I thought she’d want you to know.”

Wade regarded him with a wry look. “Yeah, you would think that, wouldn’t you? Well, she didn’t.”

“Wade, don’t leave,” Grady pleaded. “Think about this. There has to be some sort of misunderstanding. I know how she feels about you. She loves you. She’ll be back any time now. She called Karen from the airport in Los Angeles just as she was taking off.”

A part of Wade wanted to believe Grady, wanted to believe that his own instincts hadn’t failed him completely, but the truth was staring him square in the face. Lauren Winters had lied to him, just like every other person with money he’d ever known, starting with the rich daddy who hadn’t seen fit to claim a bastard son.

This hurt worse, though, because he’d never expected anything from his father, not even acknowledgment. But he’d started to expect a lot from Lauren. He’d started to count on a future.

When he thought of the ring he’d almost bought, with its tiny, glittering diamond that would have been a joke compared to the ones she’d worn in her hair in that picture, he wanted to break things.

But losing his temper would solve nothing. It would only tell Grady just how deeply he’d been hurt, and he’d thrown his pride out the window for way too long now. Right about now, it was all he had left to cling to.

“Just tell her I couldn’t stick around for more of her lies,” he told Grady.

“What about the horses?” Grady asked, clearly looking for any excuse to stall him. “You have a right to part of our stock. Give it a day or two, and we can work something out that’s fair.”

“I don’t want anything from this place. I’ll take Miss Molly with me, but the rest are yours. When I get settled, you can send me a check.”

“Wade, please. Think this over. See Lauren when she gets back. You can work it out. I know you can.”

Wade didn’t think he could bear ever to set eyes on her again. He just shook his head, turned his back and walked away. He couldn’t put Lauren Winters and the Blackhawk ranch behind him fast enough to suit him. He’d been right all along. He just wasn’t cut out for any kind of permanence. He’d been a fool to think otherwise.