| |
“Are you hungry? I can try to fix something,” Sawyer says as he looks over at Hannah.
“Shelley and I picked something up while we waited for you to get back. I like her. She treats me like I’m normal. I like that,” Hannah tells him smiling.
“I thought you would like her, she has been my best friend for over ten years. She stuck by me even when I thought I didn’t want her to,” he tells her sadly.
“I can try to fix you something to eat, since you have done so much for me, and I can’t really pay you back right now,” she tells him, attempting to change the subject.
“Not necessary, but let’s try to cook together. How about that?” he says to her and winks, then they walk toward the kitchen together.
“Well, this is embarrassing. I literally only own breakfast food,” Sawyer says chuckling as he scans his pantry.
“I can make pancakes; would that be alright?” Hannah asks timidly.
“I absolutely love pancakes! They are the most perfect food to ever have been created. Thanks, babe. I don’t remember the last time someone cooked for me,” he declares thoughtfully.
“I really don’t think I have cooked for anyone other than myself and him,” she says irritably while tightly clutching her fists.
Sawyer notices this and quickly interjects. ”Hey, you don’t have to do this, really. Why don’t you go rest instead? I don’t like you getting all upset.”
“I’m not letting him have power over me anymore. I would be more than happy to cook for you, just don’t judge my cooking too severely,” she replies trying to lighten the mood. Sawyer studies her face and sees that the tension has lifted.
“Fair enough, do you want any help?”
“Nope, unless you smell smoke I should be okay,” she laughs.
Sawyer chuckles as he walks out of the kitchen to his desk in the living room. He tells her that he has some paperwork to complete for the parlor.
Hannah finishes making the pancakes without any catastrophes. She stacks his plate high with five pancakes, slices of bacon, and fruit. She sets out orange juice, butter, and syrup then softly calls for him to come eat.
Sawyer walks into the kitchen, beams at her and his plate.
“Wow, you sure know the way to my heart darlin! This looks and smells great! I’m sure it will taste great too,” he excitedly declares.
Hannah starts to worry that he won’t like it or that the food will taste bad. She timidly thanks him for the compliments, but wishes he would have waited to bestow them upon her until after he has tasted everything. She watches as he carefully smears butter on each of his pancakes, then pours a generous amount of syrup on top of the stack. He cuts into the pancakes and takes in a mouthful. He chews for a moment then closes his eyes and sighs happily.
“This is so good, really, it is! Are you sure you don’t want any? If you don’t get any now, I’m going to definitely eat all of them,” he tells her while chewing his next bite.
“I’m sure. I’m still full from earlier,” she tells him while patting her stomach.
He laughs, “Good because I didn’t want to share!”
When he has finished every bite of his food, Hannah takes his plate and begins to wash the dishes in the sink. Sawyer quickly stands up and walks to her, putting his hands over her delicate ones to stop her.
“Babe, since you cooked, I should clean up. It’s only fair, right?” he questions her while looking down into her eyes. She blushes and quickly looks away.
“No, it’s the least that I can do. Go sit down or whatever it is that you do. I will be done soon. I insist,” she commands as she resumes her task.
“I feel pretty guilty making my guest cook and clean. Are you sure?”
“Absolutely, and you aren’t forcing me. I’m making the choice to cook and clean up,” she says as she smiles up at him.
Sawyer gives up and goes back to his desk. Hannah washes the dishes off then places them in the dishwasher. When she has wiped down the counters and put everything back where she found it, she walks into the living room.
“Done so fast? It takes me way longer to do any of that,” he admits after looking at the clock on the wall.
“Yeah, I’ve had some practice,” she responds quietly while shifting back and forth on her feet. Sawyer looks at her for a moment. She can tell he is thinking about something.
“Have you ever seen the stars in an Oklahoma sky before?” he questions her as he smiles mischievously.
Hannah shakes her head no to him while continuing to look down at the dark green carpet. Sawyer stands, places his hand gently on the small of her back, leading her out of the front door of the apartment. They walk to the end of a hallway to a steel door. When he opens the door, Hannah notices a set of rusty stairs leading up. Sawyer turns to her as he gestures for her to begin ascending them and follows. When they reach the top, she realizes they are on top of the roof. She looks around, there is a table and several mismatched chairs set out.
“Oh wow, you can see so much from up here!” she says excitedly as she walks across the roof. Hannah looks down at the street beneath them and watches the people entering the café a few doors down, and the cars driving by.
Sawyer joins her and points out past the buildings on the opposite side of the road. “If you look over there during the day you can see the mountain range,” he tells her.
“I thought they were just pretty hills. So those are really mountains? In Oklahoma?” Hannah asks surprised.
“Well, they’re not the Rockies, but we have some,” he jokes. She laughs along with him, eager to now see them in the daylight. Sawyer brings her over to one of the chairs, then sits down next to her.
“Look up sweetheart, enjoy the show.”
Hannah looks at him for a moment as he gazes up at the night sky. She then turns her head and is instantly captivated by the sight above her. She hasn’t star gazed since she was a little girl back home with her dad. She abruptly has a recollection of camping in her backyard with her dad and looking up at the stars through the roof of the tent until she fell asleep in her sleeping bag. She can hear her dad’s voice in her mind, “The stars are always there, even when we can’t see them. They never go away. They are just like mom and my love for you. If one day you can’t see us, know that we are still with you like the stars.”
She looks down while trying to blink back the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. Sawyer glances at her with alarm.
“Babe, what’s wrong? Do you not like it? We can go back in . . .”
Hannah stops him. “No, I just had a flashback to when I was little and looked at the stars with my dad. It was another forgotten memory that just came back,” she tells him smiling.
He returns the smile and they sit together in silence for a long time, admiring the sky and listening to the sound around them. Sawyer stands up and stretches then turns to her.
“I think it’s time for me to turn in, it’s late. I need to be in the parlor tomorrow, and it has been a long day for everyone. What do you say?”
She agrees, trailing him back down the stairs to his apartment. Hannah sits on the couch while Sawyer walks to his bedroom. He returns holding a pillow and an extra blanket.
“Sorry that I don’t have an extra bedroom or anything. Are you sure that you are alright with sleeping on the couch?” he asks.
“The couch is perfect, thanks again,” she grins at him while taking the bedding out of his outstretched arms. He then begins to turn out the lights. Hannah begins to feel anxious as the room grows darker.
“Can you leave a light on? I don’t like the dark.”
He stops and looks at her confused, then realization sweeps over him. He swiftly flips the switch to the lamp next to the couch which softly illuminates that area of the room.
“Is this enough light?” he softly asks.
“Yes, thank you. Do you mind if I get ready for bed first? I will only be a moment,” Hannah asks him as she gestures toward the bathroom.
His face softens as he nods his head at her. “Take your time. Goodnight love.”
“Goodnight Sawyer.”
***
SAWYER IS LYING IN bed tossing and turning, thinking about the brunette on his couch. Many thoughts run through his head, keeping him from sleep. She must think I’m an insensitive idiot. How could I have forgotten that she wanted a light on? I have no idea as to what she has been subjected to. Then, I go and turn off all the lights. I’m so stupid.
He flips over in bed and tries to find a comfortable position. He glances to see that the clock reads 3:47 A.M. He comes to the realization that he won’t get any sleep. He finally decides to give up on sleep, and just lies in bed with his eyes closed, attempting to clear his mind.
Sawyer hears something. He turns his head to the side to try to listen better. He hears it again. It’s a soft whimpering. The sound is sporadic. The noise comes and goes. It must be Hannah. Sawyer assumes that she is having a nightmare like she does every night. He gets out of bed and sluggishly walks over to his bedroom door to crack it open. As he’s reaching for the doorknob, a blood-curdling scream pierces the room. He frantically almost rips the door off the hinges as he runs to where Hannah is sleeping. She is not on the couch anymore. Sawyer desperately looks around for her, but can’t find where she is. He hears another scream and looks in the direction from where it came from.
She is cowered down against the west wall of the living room under a window. She appears to still be asleep. He slowly walks to her, trying not to startle her. He bends down and gently nudges her arm.
She shouts, “Get away from me! Don’t touch me you monster! Someone help me, please! Help!”
“Babe, babe wake up! You aren’t there! He can’t touch you. Babe, babe, Hannah,” he harshly tells her, trying to get her attention.
Hannah blinks and looks at him, confused. She then looks at where she is and asks, “What is going on? Why am I on the floor?” she mumbles.
“I heard you screaming so I came out here and finally found you on the floor. I tried to wake you, but you yelled for me to get away from you and called me a monster.”
Hannah begins to cry. He doesn’t know how to handle the situation, so he awkwardly sits next to her and tries to hug her. He’s unsure how she will react to being touched. Sawyer leans in with his arms stretched out and she leaps at him, wrapping her arms around his midsection tightly. He returns the embrace and whispers soothing words into her hair while slowly rocking back and forth.
After a few minutes, she sits back and looks at him, still with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I don’t think you are a monster. I just can’t seem to fully get away from him,” she says as another sob escapes her lips.
“Shhh, I know you didn’t mean it. Do you want to go back on the roof and get some air?”
She nods and gets up. Sawyer grabs the blanket off the couch and follows her out the door. When they get to the roof, they both take a seat. Sawyer wraps the blanket gently around her. She looks up at the stars again, while he gazes at her. Hannah turns her head toward him and gives him a slight smile.
“Do you want to know what I was doing when you were shopping with Shelley?” he questions.
She shakes her head, so he continues.
“Last week was the anniversary of my parents’ death.” He looks over to see that he has her complete attention.
“It was seven years ago, April 14, 2010. My dad had planned this surprise for my mom. They were celebrating my mom’s birthday, March 9; his birthday, June 29; and their anniversary July 25. My dad found this great deal for a private plane ride over the mountain range, they had always wanted to do that. The pilot was running some special to drum up business. My dad jumped at the chance and surprised my mom with it. They were so excited, it was all they could talk about. I remember they annoyed me to death about it,” he laughs.
“They left early that morning. I was still asleep, I guess they didn’t want to wake me to say good-bye. I got up some time later and headed over to Bryce’s house. We were playing video games when his dad, my uncle, rushed into the room. He looked at me with this bizarre expression on his face. It worried me, I thought I had done something wrong. He then walked over to me and hugged me. He had never hugged me before in his life. Then he said that his sister was dead. I just looked at him before I realized he meant my mom.”
Hannah gasps at this and looks at Sawyer wide eyed.
“I yelled at him to knock it off. Bryce stood up and just stared at both of us. Then I heard Bryce’s mom in the other room crying, so I knew it was true. I demanded that he tell me what exactly happened. He said the cops had just come by to tell them that the plane my parents were in crashed and that there were no survivors. I tried arguing with him, telling him that he was lying. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. Then I punched him and ran out of the house. I kept running until I got to my house. I threw open the door and started yelling out for my mom and dad, but no one answered.”
He glances back at Hannah and notices the silent tears running down her cheeks. He reaches over and wipes them away with the pads of his thumbs. He then asks if she wants him to continue, she nods.
“My uncle found me about an hour later. He said that the plane crashed shortly after takeoff. He told me to pack a bag and come back with him to stay until we got everything figured out. I found out later that the pilot had been in trouble before due to alcohol. During his autopsy, they found alcohol and anti-anxiety medication in his system. If my dad would have just researched him, he would have found all of that out easily. I was eighteen, so I could have lived on my own in the house. I found out that my parents had quite a lot of debt. My dad was a factory worker and my mom stayed home to raise me. I thought we were fine with money, but I guess we weren’t. I know I never had to wish for anything, they provided well for me. Too well I suppose. I had to sell the house to cover their debts. I wasn’t left with much more than about two thousand dollars. They died two months before I graduated, so I floated between staying at Bryce’s house and Shelley’s. I had never gotten along very well with my uncle. The day after graduation I left for Vegas with the two thousand and stayed with my dad’s friend Maddox. He is known all around the world for his tattoos. He’s a legend. I was fortunate enough to have him take me under his wing and teach me all that he knew. I stayed there for about two years, trained and saved every bit of money that I could. I came back and bought this building and my truck. I opened Blacked Out Ink by myself. I was the only employee, but soon my reputation got around and I steadily grew in popularity, especially when people found out that I trained under Maddox. Now, five years later I have a successful business and I’m able to have employees. I’m happy now. Yesterday I went to the lake that my parents and I would go to often. It was the first time I had been back there since they’ve been gone. I felt closure when I went back. I’ve been through every emotion you can think of since they died. You will too, just don’t give up. Besides, I’ll be here to help,” he tells her smiling.
Hannah surprises him when she stands up, then leans down to embrace him. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. No one should have to feel the pain we have,” she whispers tenderly in his ear.
He hugs her back, enjoying the warmth radiating from her small frame. He has faith that she will soon feel comfortable enough to talk to him.
“You know, I haven’t talked about that day to anyone before. It feels pretty good to get that off my chest,” he chuckles.
She pulls back and looks Sawyer straight in the eye and murmurs that she will soon. He knows what she means, she will talk soon, just not right now.