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A couple of weeks later, the weekend has finally arrived. Sawyer and Hannah decide to go to the mountain range. It will be the first time Sawyer has been there since his parents’ death, but he wants Hannah to see it. They wake up quite early that morning and dress comfortably. Hannah is in denim capris, a yellow t-shirt and running shoes. Sawyer wears jeans, a tight, white fitted t-shirt, and his ever-present boots. She gazes at him as he has his back to her while he’s loading snacks in his backpack. She has never noticed that the definition of his muscles shows through the shirt.
Hannah shakes her head at this thought. We’re friends, and that’s all he will ever see me as. An inexperienced young girl with a truck load of emotional baggage. She is still in her daydream when he calls out her name. She jumps in response.
“Hey babe, you ready?” he chuckles.
“Yeah, let’s do it,” she responds, mortified. Hannah hopes that he didn’t see her staring at his muscles. As she thinks this, she blushes.
She can feel Sawyer’s eyes on her as they drive out of town toward the mountains. She is careful not to make eye contact, for fear he will know what she is thinking. I must have some sort of petty crush on him. That’s what it must be right? There is no way he would feel the same, I mean look at him. He’s caring, considerate, funny, handsome, oh no. I have it bad already.
“Babe, you’ve been awfully quiet this morning. What’s on your mind?” he asks, breaking Hannah out of her thoughts.
“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Why do you ask?” she questions defensively.
“Don’t worry, I was just wondering. Look, we are almost there. You can really see the mountains from here,” he tells her as he points to them. She follows his finger and is enchanted at the sight before her. The mountains are not huge by any means, but they stand out in contrast to the plains. They are rocky, while also covered with trees and shrubs. There are many of them, all lined up. The sun shining on them brings out more of their beauty.
Sawyer tells her that they can drive up the tallest one, Mount Scott, and look around. She looks at him eagerly as he chuckles. They follow the winding road up the mountain. She is glued to her window, not wanting to miss anything. They reach the top after a few minutes. Sawyer looks at her and smiles, gets out of the truck and she swiftly follows. Hannah stops to look all around. It is so beautiful and serene up here. Nothing to block the sight of what God has made. She walks over to the edge and looks down. She notices that she can hike down on the rocks. Hannah looks over to Sawyer for approval, he nods and goes first to help her down. He reaches up for her and carefully helps her down by holding her waist.
They go on like this for what seems like hours. Climbing down rocks, looking around, and not speaking. Finally, they reach a landing where they are the only ones there. Sawyer proposes that they take a break. The view is incredible. They are overlooking a lake, it is so peaceful and comforting. “The trees look like bunches of broccoli,” Hannah jokes. She gets an overwhelming urge to open up to him. To tell Sawyer about her past.
“Sawyer, I think I’m ready to tell you about my past now.” He quickly looks over at her, surprised. He shakes his head, urging her to continue.
“Well, my dad worked out of town a lot. One day my mom decided that we would take a road trip to go see him. I was homeschooled, so we didn’t have to worry about missing school. We packed some stuff up and left the house. We had an old van that needed work, but it still got us around. I remember looking out my window at the bluebonnets that were in bloom along the side of the road. I know that we lived in Texas, I just can’t remember where. Anyhow, the time in the van passed quickly because my mom and I would always sing along to the music playing. She loved music and was always singing. It didn’t matter what the song was, she knew it or made up words to it. She would even try to dance while behind the wheel, and I would laugh and laugh. We would laugh together a lot,” Hannah tells him sadly.
Sawyer smiles and grabs her hand to hold. Hannah looks at their merged hands and takes a deep breath. “My mom liked to take the scenic route on trips to see everything, but really she got lost all the time, that usually worked out for us but not that day. We got a flat tire, so my mom pulled over. We were in the middle of nowhere. There were no houses, stores or anything, and no one else on the road. She tried to change the tire herself but she was having a hard time. We didn’t have a phone so she said we would have to wait until someone drove by. A couple of hours later, this older, huge, four door car pulled up behind us. My mom stepped out to talk to the man who was driving it. I saw him from my side mirror. He was stocky, had oversized thick rimmed glasses and receding hair. He had a thin mustache and wore older styled clothes. He was quiet, but you had a sense that something wasn’t right with him. He told my mom he could help us, but he needed her to help him with the jack in the back of his car. I watched mom follow him to his trunk, then I heard her scream. I was startled and without thinking, shot out of the van and ran to her. When I got to her, she was laying on the road, her head bleeding. I was frozen in terror. Suddenly the man grabbed me and pushed a cloth over my nose,” she says while holding back tears. Hannah looks at Sawyer and sees the pain in his eyes. He squeezes her hand and weaves their fingers together.
Hannah takes another cleansing breath and continues. “When I woke up, I was tied up, laying in a dark place that felt like it was moving. I tried to scream, but there was something in my mouth. I tried to look around, but it was too dark. I heard other cars and realized that I must be in the trunk of his car. A long time passed when the car finally stopped. I heard him exit the car and his boots clicking on the pavement. The sound of his footsteps becoming louder and louder. With each step, I grew more and more fearful. He opened the trunk and told me to be silent or he would kill me and my mom. I was able to look over to see my mom bound, gagged and still unconscious behind me. He lifted me out, carried me through his backyard and down into an underground bunker. He left me there in the dark, still tied up, and went to get my mom.”
Hannah has to stop to calm herself down. Sawyer reaches over and embraces her, not saying a word. After a moment, she is able to gather herself and continue.
“My mom finally regained consciousness and started screaming for help. I was still too scared to speak, all I could do was cry. She told me to be brave like she knew I could be and help her. Then we both began screaming. He must have heard us because he came barreling through the door and down the stairs of that place. He told us to shut up. That if anyone heard us, he had rigged the door to a bomb that would explode if it was opened. He said that we would not only die but anyone that tried to help us would also. He said we were in his underground bunker. There was a crude little kitchen, bathroom, and a living space. It wasn’t even big enough for one person, let alone my mom and me. He said he took us because he was trying to save us from evil. He said the world was evil and that he would rid us of any evil that was already inside of us. He ordered us to strip out of our clothes, that we had to be cleansed of our sins before we could stay any longer. My mom tried to talk to him, to persuade him to let us go. He slapped her hard across the face and told her not to ever speak to him unless spoken to. He then led us to the bathroom where he turned the water temperature all the way over to hot. The water felt like it was boiling. He then hooked up a hose and used that on us, along with a brillo pad, harshly scrubbing our skin. He left burns and scratches on our skin. I still have scars from the bathings. He then made us get dressed in what he deemed to be appropriate for us to wear. He brought a little bit of food, barely enough for one person to last a couple of days. He said that it was our provisions for seven days. He ordered us to read the Bible and pray often. He said he would know if we had followed his orders. We had to keep the bunker spotless, up to his standards. He gave us hospital grade cleaner to use, it smelled so bad. The fumes would make us light headed, especially since there were no windows or vents. The only light we had was from a single candle that had to last us seven days. There was only one sleeping bag that we both had to fit into at night. We didn’t sleep much. We were too scared, never knowing when he would be back.”
Hannah was completely sobbing now. Nothing Sawyer can possibly say will calm her down, but she has to keep going. She must continue to tell him everything.
“At first it was really hard. We were frightened, so frightened. My mom refused to do what he said for the first couple of days that we were there. She thought if we caused enough trouble he would grow tired and let us go. We were very mistaken. He brought in a horse crop, ordered her to remove her clothes and beat her until she bled and couldn’t stand. He hit her over and over. I had to treat her wounds. A little girl, having to take care of her mom’s wounds. We figured out later that he had some kind of camera set up in the bunker, that’s how he knew if we obeyed or not. He brought in a couple of fairy tale books, but the endings had all been ripped out. My mom would whisper the ending to me, but I never got to read it for myself. We also had a Bible and a set of encyclopedias. My mom taught me how to read using the Bible and taught me with the encyclopedias. She tried to teach me anything that she could remember, she didn’t want me to be behind the other kids my age once we were free. She knew in her heart that we would be rescued. We prayed fervently to be rescued. We thought that any day the cops would come and take us away. We thought about my dad a lot. My mom would sing to me at night, I can’t remember the songs but if I heard them I know I would recognize them. She also kept track of the days we were there. She would ask the man what day it was so we could thank God for it. He caught on to what she was doing eventually. He punished her for it. He never beat me, always her. He told her he was keeping me pure, for when the time was right. I didn’t understand what he meant, but my mom did.”
Hannah stops again to regain her composure. Sawyer hands her a bottle of water, she hastily drinks all of the contents. He keeps their hands linked as he scoots closer to her. “You can stop, you don’t have to do this to yourself,” he gently pleads.
“No, I have to keep going. I need a fresh start, and I can’t have this weighing me down any longer,” she replies. He nods and continues to look at her with compassion.
“We spent our days reading, cleaning according to his standards, and figuring out how to make the food and candle he gave us each week last until the next allotment. It was hard to present ourselves properly to him because he forbid us to have a mirror. He said that it was vain and encouraged evil thoughts. It was so lonely and dark. We could figure out the seasons based on the temperature in the bunker. A couple of years later, I was around eleven or twelve, mom began whispering to me ways to defend myself against him. She said I could knee him between the legs to make him fall. I could also knock his glasses off and poke him in the eyes. She made sure I remembered that if I did one of those things to not look back but to run. Run until I was safe, never stop running. He must have overheard in some way. Soon after, he started beating her. He would use the horse crop and whip her mercilessly. He would also tie her with rope and punch her. He made me watch while he beat her. He said if I ever tried to escape he would do the same to me, only worse. I grew more petrified of him, but my mom never stopped. She continued to talk to me and reinforce in me ways to get away from him. He must have reached his breaking point one day. He came when we didn’t expect him and grabbed my mom. He hurled her against the floor and started choking her. He held his hands so firmly around her throat that his knuckles turned white. She tried to hit him, tried to move his hands off. The more she fought the tighter he held on. I was frozen on the floor beside her, crying, pleading with him to stop. He reached over and slapped me, ordering me to shut up. He then continued choking her again. She turned her head and uttered ‘I love you’ to me then stopped breathing. He held on to her a while longer after that. Then he hauled her body up the stairs and out the door. I never saw her again, he took her from me. He took everything from me.” Hannah cries out. Her sobs violently shaking her body. Sawyer takes Hannah in his arms, holding her closely. He begins whispering calming words to her and gently strokes her hair. When she finally quiets down, she finishes her story.
“So, I guess, in one way or another, endured about eight more years on my own. I continued reading because I knew my mom would have wanted that. I read every page of those stupid encyclopedias, except for the last page in Z. That was the only way I could rebel against him. My own little way to act out,” she snickers, proud of herself.
“I knew I was growing because my clothes became smaller, but he never gave me any new ones. He gave me less food to last the week. I had to learn how to clean, fix simple meals, and take care of myself. I lost track of the days and seasons. I didn’t care any longer, I was praying for God to let me die. I was giving up, I couldn’t go on much longer. I began having dreams of running outside, barefoot. I had so many of these dreams. I was running as hard as I could, through trees and on a road. These dreams gave me the courage to do what my mom had taught me to do before. When the food was gone for the week he came back. I heard the door and stood up to meet him at the bottom of the stairs. He began to get sloppy and not lock the door behind him when he came, which he did again that day. I waited there for him with my arms out to take the bag. Instead of taking the bag, I slapped his face as hard as I could. It knocked his glasses off, then I poked him in both eyes repeatedly. He fell, brought his hands to his face and yelled at me. Then I kicked him as hard as I could between the legs. He was rolling back and forth on the floor, hollering that he was going to destroy me. Then, out of instinct or something, I reached behind my back and grasped the frying pan. I walked to where he was laying, lifted it up and slammed it down on his head. He stopped moving and was silent. I didn’t think twice before I bolted up the stairs and out the door. The sun was blinding. I hadn’t seen it in years. I blindly ran. I fell a lot, but I kept getting back up. I got used to the light after a while. I never stopped, I ran through a bunch of trees for a long time. I got hit in the face by the branches but never slowed down. I kept telling myself to keep running, like my mom had told me. After a long time, I came across a road with no cars. I followed it and in the end, found you.” Hannah turns to Sawyer, who is still looking at her with alarm in his eyes.
“I never would have ever dreamed that you went through all of that darlin’. You are so strong and brave. You never have to worry about him again, I will protect you. If he does ever find you, I’ll kill him. I won’t think twice. You are safe now, you are safe,” he tells her as he embraces her securely again. They stay like that, hugging each other and slowly rocking back and forth.
The sun is beginning to set, and they decide to head back to the truck. He helps Hannah up the rocks, when they reach the top they stop to admire the sunset.
“I never would have imagined that the sun would be as beautiful as it is,” Hannah says softly to him. He looks over at her and smiles.
“Not as beautiful as you darlin’, inside and out,” Sawyer sincerely tells her. He takes her hand in his again as he leads her to the truck.
Hannah feels as though a weight has been lifted from her. She no longer has to carry that around with her. I finally feel free. Free of him, the monster that stole so much from me. He stole my childhood. He stole my mother. He stole my father. He stole my freedom. He stole the whole thing, apart from my faith. It was my faith in God that allowed me to endure and escape.
***
SAWYER WAS STILL REELING over Hannah’s revelation to him the previous day. He just can’t wrap his head around what had happened to her. She was kidnapped, held prisoner and watched her mother’s murder. He knew what he had to do. He needed to convince her to go to the police. The monster that did this to her needed to be locked up himself, or worse if Sawyer had anything to do with it. Sawyer was even more determined now to find out anything and everything about Hannah before she was captured. He knew that finding her dad would be key to helping her move forward from her experience.
Hannah stayed in the apartment, not feeling up to being in the parlor with him. She told him that finally talking to him yesterday had emotionally drained her, and that she wasn’t up to being around the others. Sawyer understood, but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he needed to be with her.
Sawyer walked into his parlor later than usual. Bryce was the first to notice him.
“Hey bro, where’s Hannah?”
“She’s not feeling too great today, so she’s resting upstairs.”
“Dude, should you be here then? Maybe you should be with her. You could make her soup or something. Whatever guys do for their women when they don’t feel good,” Bryce said to Sawyer while grinning.
“First, she’s not my woman. Second, she said she wanted to rest. I told her that I would check on her in a little while. When’s my first appointment?”
“Uh, any minute. Just make sure to check on her. It doesn’t feel right without her here, you know what I mean?”
Sawyer shakes his head in agreement with Bryce. He knows exactly what he means. Everyone else in the parlor seems to feel it too. It is a feeling of loss. Hannah brings out the best in everyone with her cheerful demeanor and positive outlook on everything. The staff has grown to love her quickly. Everyone who meets her loves her. It is hard not to. She always has a kind word or compliment for every person who crosses her path. It is one of the qualities he loves best about her.
“Wait, did I just say love? I don’t love her. I can’t. I’m unable to love. You have to have a heart to love, and I definitely don’t,” Sawyer says to himself. Bryce comes around the corner with a huge smile on his face.
“Dude!! I just heard you! You love Hannah! I knew it, heck man we all knew it. Everyone knew but you and her. You need to do something about it. Don’t let her slip away. March your rear up there right now and go get her!” Bryce says excitedly. Sawyer stares at him in shock for a few moments, then slowly rises out of his chair and walks out the door.