| |
Sawyer has been trying his best to act normal around Hannah. It has been ten days since he choked and ran out after innocently kissing her. He honestly feels like a nervous teenager around her. He has begun to stutter and sweat in her presence. He is finding it increasingly difficult to have a conversation with her, he is too worried about looking like a lovesick fool. Sawyer daydreams about holding her in his arms and kissing her plump lips. Yes, he is completely in love with the beautiful brunette who is currently sitting beside him on the couch.
“Sawyer, are you ok?” Hannah chuckles.
“Um, yeah. Why?” he answers as he is snapped out of his thoughts by Hannah who is waving her hand in front of his face.
“I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now. Do you want something to eat? I’m starving, I think I’ll fix a little snack,” she tells him as she rises.
“Yeah, babe. That would be great. Let me help,” he says as he follows her.
They both search all around the kitchen, weighing their options. Sawyer spies the bottle of chocolate syrup then swiftly opens the door to the freezer and pulls out a tub of ice cream.
“How about an ice cream sundae? I know that’s what I’m having, can I make you one too?” he innocently questions Hannah. She enthusiastically agrees as she begins to grab the various toppings, bowls, and spoons. While Sawyer is creating his masterpiece, Hannah sneaks up behind him and sprays whipped cream on his neck. He yelps and jumps. Sawyer turns around looking at her with a mischievous grin then grabs the chocolate syrup. Hannah starts laughing noisily as she runs out of the kitchen. He quickly follows, trying to trap her. After chasing her around the apartment, he finally gets her cornered in the bathroom where he pours chocolate syrup on top of her head. The brown mess slowly oozes down her hair, onto her shirt, as he cackles at the sight before him.
“Not fair! I just got a little bit of whipped cream on your neck. You doused my hair with chocolate. It feels so gross!” she complains to him while laughing.
“All is fair in love and war sweetheart. To make it up to you take this, do your worse,” Sawyer laughs as he hands her the bottle of syrup. Hannah happily accepts it from him. She stands on the side of the tub, squealing as she pours the rest of the contents of the bottle on top of Sawyer’s head. The chocolate slowly makes its way down his face and onto his white shirt.
“Ugh, you’re right. It feels really gross!” he declares as he removes his shirt, then uses it to wipe off his face. Hannah’s laughter stops as she takes in the kaleidoscope of tattoos before her. Sawyer notices her stillness and turns around to look at her.
“Turn back around. I want to look at your tattoos,” Hannah whispers. Sawyer looks shocked but does as he is asked. Hannah gazes over the intricate patterns that cover his back, neck, and arms. She has never been able to look at the artwork on his back before. She now understands that the tattoos tell his story in vivid pictures. She reaches out, delicately touching each one with the fingertips of her right hand. She didn’t realize how tense he was until she touched him. Hannah feels Sawyer immediately relax under her fingertips and hears him exhale the breath he was holding. He is facing the mirror, watching her in the reflection. He takes note of her face; how inquisitive it is. She looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with him. Neither look away, they are caught up in the moment. Hannah is the first to speak as she stills her fingers over his left shoulder.
“This plane, is it the one your parents were in?” she asks quietly. Sawyer shakes his head as he looks down.
“Why do you have it if it makes you sad?”
“I don’t want to forget what happened. It’s a reminder to me to live life because you don’t know when it can end. I had it put on my back because it’s my past, and I’m trying to move beyond it,” he tells her truthfully. She continues to trace the plane’s outline. It is very detailed, having a realistic appearance. There were the same mountains set as the background that he had taken her to. The trees and shrubs were vivid shades of green and the sky was blue with wispy clouds. She slowly moves her fingers to the tattoo beside it. This artwork is also highly detailed. It is a black circle with a web inside of it that has black, blue, red, and yellow feathers hanging from it. She stops her fingers on it.
“What’s this one?” she curiously asks.
“That is a dreamcatcher. They are supposed to catch all your dreams. They trap the bad dreams and let the good ones pass through. I used to have a lot of nightmares, thought I might as well get one put on me,” he chuckles. Hannah grins as she then moves to his neck. This tattoo is wrapped around his neck. It is a band with black and red tribal symbols. He has the matching bands on the top of both his arms also. He notices what she is looking at.
“I just thought that was cool, and it was the popular thing at the time. It doesn’t mean anything, just like the barbwire bands that are underneath them,” he chuckles. Hannah laughs as well. She moves her right hand down his back, stopping at a line of words that cross the width of his back. In elegant cursive they read Never Let Your Fear Decide Your Fate. She delicately traces each letter of the words.
“That phrase really spoke to me. I was living in fear. I was afraid of everything. I was so unsure of how anything would turn out that I was letting my fear overrun me. That phrase is the first tattoo I got. It was about a month after my parents died. It was just some local guy that did it. All of my other ones Maddox did. He’s the one I told you I trained under in Vegas,” he tells her.
“I think that tattoo is fitting for me too,” Hannah tells him softly. She now raises both hands to his back and outlines the remaining large black tattoo. It is an intricate design, she can’t make out what it is though.
“That is a Maori tattoo. I have the match to it on my forearms. The Maori tattoo is popular with warriors and fighters. It is said to give you strength to fight. I felt like I was in a constant battle with myself and others,” he confesses to her while looking into her eyes. He knows that she is finished with the tattoos on his back, so he carefully turns around. He is now face to face with her since she is still standing on the side of the tub. She looks down at his collar. There is another band of words scrolled across his collarbone with thick black font. Live Today As If You’ll Die Tomorrow. She again traces the letters, then looks into his eyes. He is still gazing at her face.
“I felt like I needed those words where I would see them every day. So I wouldn’t forget how short life is,” answering her unspoken question.
Her hand travels to his right pectoral muscle. There is a large, intricate, and colorful compass tattooed on it. The compass has a ribbon across it that reads Guide Me Home.
“This is beautiful. Why did you get it?” Hannah asks shyly, now that she is face to face with him.
“It is to always bring me back home. I think this is Maddox’s best work. I really like how he incorporated so many colors in it and the shadowing he did. It has a 3-D effect. This one over here is a tribal sun. So that I will never loose myself in the darkness,” he tells her as he guides her left hand to his left pectoral muscle. The sun she traces is white, yellow, and black. She glances under the sun to the large bird-like tattoo that covers the right side of his stomach. She touches the bird and traces the words that cover the left side of his stomach as well. There is one word per line that goes down to his waist line. I Am My Beloved’s and My Beloved Is Mine. She looks back to his eyes for an explanation.
“The bird thing is a tribal phoenix rising. It symbolizes rising to triumph after defeat. The saying is from the Bible, I thought at the time it was fitting. Then, I still had a hope of finding someone to share my life with and thought this was to be in honor of them, whoever it was to be,” he whispers. She continues to look at him and slowly smiles at him. He returns her expression as he takes hold of her hands in his. He ever so gradually, begins to lean in. Hannah mirrors his actions. Sawyer stops, hesitantly looking her in the eyes again, checking for any signs to stop. When he finds none, he meets his lips with hers in a tender kiss. He marvels at how soft her plump lips are, and how this feels so right. He has never felt this before, not with any of the other women he has been with. There is a deep connection, one that was growing stronger at this very moment.
Sawyer reluctantly releases her lips and rests his forehead on hers, staring into her dark brown eyes. The eyes he has grown to love. Suddenly, he’s worried that he has overstepped her boundaries. Quickly the worry is forgotten as Hannah looks at him and smiles brightly. He is so relieved that he kisses her again, this time deepening it by wrapping a hand on the back of her neck, his other hand gently cupping her cheek. Hannah brings her arms around his neck to hold him in place. Sawyer grins against her lips when he feels her do this. They continue to hold on to each other as they end their second kiss.
“I have been wanting to do that for such a long time now sweetheart,” Sawyer whispers to her. She giggles while running her fingers through his sticky locks of hair.
“I’m glad you finally did, I’ve been waiting forever for you to make a move,” she sighs, then giggles at his expression of shock.
After many additional stolen kisses, the pair reluctantly separates. Sawyer doesn’t want to make Hannah feel pressured into furthering their amorous moment. Sawyer sighs into her hair. “Sweetheart, we need to stop before I’m unable to walk away from you.”
Hannah pulls back, gazing into his warm eyes. “Sawyer, I don’t want to go any further until I’m married. It’s something that’s really important to me. I don’t want to have that kind of experience with anyone else, except for my husband. To me, that’s a once in a lifetime thing. If that is something you’re not comfortable with, we need to completely stop this now. I don’t want to fall further for you if we aren’t on the same page about being intimate,” she quietly says while blushing.
Sawyer ponders this revelation. Of course, he knows she has never been in this type of situation, but he didn’t realize she would want to wait for marriage. As he looks at her, he realizes that he can easily see himself growing old with her. He can picture coming home to a noisy house, some kids, a dog, and Hannah. Suddenly, the idea of being tied down seems to be the best thing in the world. He knows that he will gladly wait for her. He wants her in his life.
“Baby, I want a future with you. I can’t imagine my life without you. Somehow, you have changed me. I thought I was just fine the way I was, but I now know how wrong I was. Just the idea of you not being with me makes me sick. You are like the air I breathe, I can’t survive without you. I don’t even want to try. I want to share my life with you. What I’m trying to say, in a very roundabout way is,” he stops chuckling to take a deep breath. “I love you, Hannah. I think I fell for you the minute you opened your eyes and looked at me that first night. Please don’t feel that you have to say it back, just know that I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours as long as you’ll have me.”
Hannah feels so many emotions at once. She feels joy, scared, excited, anxious, but most of all love. She loves this man in front of her. This scary, tattooed man who has built this rough persona. She found what he has been trying to suppress for years. She found the true Sawyer. The Sawyer who is compassionate, loving, kind, and warm. She found the man she loves. “Sawyer, I don’t know what to say,” she tentatively answers.
Sawyer feels like his heart just fell to his stomach. He knows she is going to let him down. He begins to shift nervously from foot to foot while trying to look anywhere in the small room but at her.
Hannah grabs Sawyer’s face with her small hands to make him look at her. She smiles and continues,” The only thing I know I can say to you is that I love you too. It happened so gradually that I don’t know when it started, but I love you, Sawyer Monson.”
Sawyer looks at her in astonishment, then smiles and laughs. He immediately embraces her, lifting her off the tub to turn her with him. They laugh together as he leans down to place another passionate kiss on her lips, hoping it conveys the love he feels for her.
Hannah knows this is where she wants to be, in his arms. She has never felt so safe before than at this moment. She wants to spend her life with this rough, caring, compassionate man who is standing before her. She has broken down his walls as he has with hers. Hannah knows that God has placed this man in her life for a reason, to save him just as he saved her.
***
HE HAS BEEN BUSY GETTING everything in order for his strategy to capture Hannah to be successful. Savior Paul is starting to question him, and he is worried that the truth about his mistress will be revealed. He knows he has to enact the plan this week. He has little time to prepare her for his god’s plan. She will be twenty-one soon, and then they will become Master and Mistress of Salvation. Their offspring will help to repopulate the world. Their offspring will be pure, destined to fulfill his god’s prophecy.
He now waits for her to be alone in the apartment. He just needs ten minutes to complete his mission. Once he has her back in his possession, all will be well again. It has been almost two months already with next month being when everything is set to take place. He has noticed his mistress becoming more independent by the day, obviously due to Lucifer filling her head with ridiculous notions. Soon Lucifer, I will end you and your fallen angels. You will not succeed. You cannot corrupt someone so pure, who is destined to save mankind. I will destroy you and all those who have helped you. You will rot in hell where you belong and where you shall stay.
He continues to watch the building across from him as he blissfully thinks what his life will be like in a few short weeks when he becomes master. He hopes he won’t have to wait very long before he has her back.