| |
December 24, 1821
All day long, as the rain changed to snow flurries, went back to rain and then settled into snow from thick clouds that didn’t look to clear anytime soon, Colin thought about that impromptu kiss Lucy had given him.
Why had she done it? No amount of staring out the window provided him the answer he sought. And how could he cajole a repeat performance? For her satiny lips had cradled his as perfectly as they had all those years ago, but now the heat they’d oh so briefly exchanged was more tantalizing than those innocent kisses of yesteryear.
When he glanced at her, she sat with embroidery in her lap, her fingers still, her attention riveted to her window, but a small smile curved those highly kissable lips. What did she think about? It was maddening to wish to know. And still he couldn’t tear his attention away from her mouth. That kiss they’d shared hadn’t been nearly enough. He’d barely gotten acquainted with her last night, and he craved the taste of her, wished to see what experience had taught her, and if she’d be of a mind for a dalliance before parting...
Damn it all to hell. Colin shifted on his bench as thoughts of her tightened his length. Lucy wasn’t that sort of woman. No one night tupping for her, and rightly so. She was the marrying type, didn’t deserve such treatment, and he didn’t want to do the leg-shackling bit again, for that meant his heart would need be engaged.
This development vastly complicated the remainder of the trip, and they were but a day out from Derbyshire. On the one hand rested a possible renewal of a relationship with this elusive woman who’d haunted him during their years apart, but on the other hand waited the spoils of his father’s wager. There simply wasn’t more time to consider each. What to do?
Then he gave himself a mental shake. Get hold of yourself, man. Outside of that kiss, brought on by an excess of emotion and a remembrance of the past, Lucy hasn’t shown an interest in you, romantic or otherwise. Go for the easy win and forget the rest.
If only life were that easy. Sometimes, a man needed the challenge.
They were obliged to stop at a posting inn for lunch and for the driver to talk with other travelers and assess the road situation, for the snow came down at a good clip now. The precipitation hadn’t yet covered the barren fields, but it would soon, and though the roads would freeze, the precipitation would render travel hazardous.
Once in yet another private dining room, the ladies of his party removed their outer wear and he gaped in surprise. Lucy didn’t wear the light blue day dress she had the last few days. Now, draped in a gown of ivory velvet trimmed with a gold satin sash and an outer skirt of sheer white tulle embroidered with tiny golden flowers, she was magnificent. Colin raked his gaze up and down her figure, pausing to admire the swell of her pale breasts over a neckline considerably lower than the blue dress.
He forgot how to breathe. Hell, he forgot his own name. He opened and closed his mouth, but no sound emerged.
When she glanced at him, she smiled, and her eyes twinkled. “Is there something you’d like to say, Colin?” She looked at Ellen, who shrugged, but regarded him with speculation.
“Uh...” He cleared his throat but his thoughts were still murky.
“Grant me patience.” Ellen muttered and followed it up with a huff. “Shall I order tea or some luncheon, Father?” she asked in a voice saturated with annoyance. “From the snatches of conversation I overheard on the way in, the cook has made special Christmas meat pies for the midday meal.”
“Please. And ask to have a fire lit.” The words felt ripped from his throat as if he had no idea how to communicate verbally, not since beholding Lucy in such an outfit. Did she have an assignation she’d failed to inform him of? Why the devil did she have to look so stunning? When his daughter, who wore her traveling dress instead of a fancy one, exited the room, he heaved a sigh and once more peered at Lucy. “You are beautiful. What prompted... this?” He waved a hand to encompass her person.
“It’s Christmas Eve.” She shrugged as if that explained everything. At his frown, she laughed and rolled her eyes. “Ellen suggested that since I had this gown with me, I should wear it today, in an effort to infuse our last full travel day with a festive air.”
“I heartily agree with that.” Each time she moved, the golden embroidery and tiny crystal beadwork around the bodice winked in the candlelight. “In any event, I’m glad your cloak isn’t hiding your dress. It certainly cheers me.”
God, could I be any more of a nodcock? I sound like a green schoolboy.
This was Lucy, who he’d known for years... except, it wasn’t. She was different in all the ways that mattered, and he desperately wanted to know why.
Her widening smile warmed his insides. Too much more of that and he’d be lost.
Colin was saved another response by Ellen pelting back into the dining room. Her face was wreathed in happiness and joy that surely had nothing to do with the mundane task of ordering food and a fire. “What has happened?” So help him, if she’d flirted with another footman—or any young man—he’d wring the unfortunate’s neck and ring a peal over her head. She was much too young for all of that, and he most certainly wouldn’t allow it until her Come Out, or even ever.
“Oh, Papa, it’s the best news,” she enthused as she ran lightly over the worn hardwood to stand in front of him. “While ordering luncheon, I happened upon one of my school chums—Emily Harrison. She’s in a few of my classes, and we chatted a bit. Can you believe she and her family are heading to Derbyshire for Christmastide as well? I don’t know her intimately, but how wonderful her people are from the same place ours are.”
“It’s not outside the realm of possibility since many families travel during this week,” he said dryly with an amused glance at Lucy. Which he shouldn’t have done, for one look at that gown and the curves it clung to had tiny fires licking through his blood. “What bearing does meeting your friend have on our present circumstances?”
“I’d like to ride with them the rest of the way. Please, Papa?” Ellen clasped her hands together and peered at him with the right amount of pleading in her eyes. “I haven’t asked you for much recently, but I’d like this ever so much.”
“But earlier in our trip, you said you wished to spend time with me,” he countered with a grin.
She rolled her eyes. “We have nearly two weeks to do that, and we’ve made enormous strides at repairing our relationship, thanks to Lucy.” Ellen clutched onto his arm. “Please let me go. Please.” She went as far as to hop in her excitement.
Yes, thanks to Lucy. Again, he peered at her. She’d been the thread that mended their torn lives. The woman is nothing short of magic. Finally, he waved a hand and focused his attention on his daughter. “Go. It’s all right, but make sure Miss Harrison’s family drops you at Lancaster Hall as soon as possible. I’ve promised your great-grandmother we’d all be together for Christmas breakfast. And mind you retrieve your luggage from the carriage.”
“Oh, thank you!” Ellen leaned upon her tiptoes and placed a noisy kiss to his cheek. “I love you.” Then she launched herself into Lucy’s arms and kissed her as well. “You look smashing, Lucy. I knew you would. See you tomorrow.” And then, she dashed from the room and the echo of her heels on the hardwood rang in the sudden silence.
Dear Lord, I’m alone with Lucy.
Colin looked at her, who’d narrowed her eyes. “What?”
“You spoil her. At times, it’s quite all right to deny her requests. She will live just fine, and be all the stronger for it.”
He shrugged. “I know.” Before he could say more, the innkeeper’s wife hustled into the room with a lad of about twelve. While the boy darted to the fireplace and quickly had a nice blaze, the woman set down a large, silver tray upon the table and began to set out quite an impressive tea spread, complete with sandwiches, the lauded meat pies, which were all golden pastry and steaming hot, as well as four types of sweets. When they were both finished, Colin smiled. “Thank you.” As they left, the woman closed the door behind her.
The finality of that act shivered through his soul. What the bloody hell do I do now? Before, when he’d known Lucy, they’d both been very young with only untried love between them. Now they were adults, they had been through marriages, suffered loss, gained experience. They were different, and yet here they were, with the same old tension simmering between them that had only sharpened into deep desire.
His hands were damp inside his gloves, and quickly he removed them as well as his greatcoat. Colin threw the garments along with his beaver felt top hat onto one of the wingback leather chairs near the fireplace. He didn’t much care if everything landed on the furniture or not. “Uh, shall we sit and do justice to this lovely tea?” How was a man supposed to do something as pedestrian as eating while such a vision of beauty occupied the same room?
“I’d like that.” As she moved past him, the fragrance of daises teased his nose, and he once more gawked at her as if he’d never seen her before. “What is it about traveling that makes a person famished?”
“I’m sure I couldn’t say.” The last thing on his mind was eating, but he couldn’t very well stand there like a bacon-brained idiot and stare at her, so he more or less collapsed into a chair to her right as she poured out two cups of tea. “It will feel strange not completing the journey with Ellen.” Yes, he’d not spent much time with his daughter in recent years, but now that she was gone, he missed her presence, her ready smile, her plain way of speaking, her eyes that sparkled with amusement when she thought he hadn’t noticed.
“Such is the way with children,” Lucy said as she pressed a teacup into his hand. The slight brush of her fingers against his sent jolts of awareness up his spine. “They drive a body clean crazy and then suddenly, they’ve grown and begin to live their own lives. We must cherish them when we have the chance.”
“I don’t mind telling you I wish I could keep Ellen a child for a little while longer.” Colin sipped at his tea, grateful for the mindlessness of such a repast. “Since I rather mucked things up with her, I want more time now.” How unexpected and ... lovely it was to talk to another person about the trials and tribulations of parenting.
“I know how you feel.” Lucy’s gaze went limpid. Perhaps she, too, struggled with the same thing. “Simon will be sixteen next year. He’s very much the young man and will soon be off to university...” A sob choked her and she quickly set down her tea cup. “Or rather I hope he will, if the remainder of the funding I set aside for him is enough.”
Panic chilled his insides. He didn’t want her to cry, so he rushed to change the subject. “Don’t think about that now. It will ruin Christmas.”
“You’re right.” Lucy spent the next few minutes nibbling at various items.
Colin attempted to do the same, but his appetite had vanished. How long had it been since he couldn’t eat due to a woman? He stifled a snort. That was a complicated question, for the past handful of years, he’d taken refuge in the brandy bottle to forget the very woman who sat next to him. Life was certainly interesting.
She caught his eye, and his stomach bottomed out. “Have you a gift for Ellen yet?”
Distracted by the tiniest bit of raspberry jam at the corner of her mouth, it took a few moments before his brain recognized she’d asked a question. “I’ve bought a gown she wanted from France. Supposed to be in the latest style. Plus, all the trimmings.” He sighed when Lucy licked at the spot, removing temptation. “I should have waited to buy her such things until after her Come Out, but...” What was there to say?
Lucy nodded. “You spoil her.”
“I’m trying to make up for failing her,” he said in a quiet voice.
“She only wants your company, Colin. And your attention. Those things would mean more to her than anything you can buy.” Something glimmered in the deep depths of those ice-blue eyes and it brought a few silver flecks to the surface of those irises.
And he wanted to chase that elusive, unnamed emotion for nothing else but to discover if it was the same thing budding within him. It was as if with their intimate talks over the last few days, the past had cleared between them, and now a clean road beckoned before him. He leaned slightly forward. “Is that what you feel too? What you want for your life?” The question was asked in a barely-there whisper, but rosy color infused her cheeks. The dark arc of her lashes lay against those cheeks as she kept her gaze on her plate. “Lucy?” He dared much by putting a finger beneath her chin and lifting her head until their gazes met.
“Perhaps.” Her answer, said in a low voice, infused him with cautious joy. “It is a complicated matter, in any event, and I’m not entirely certain it’s not brought on by an excess of holiday emotion stemming by the nostalgia of seeing you again.”
“At this point, I’ll take what whatever you’ll give me,” he murmured, and then he scooted his chair closer. Their knees knocked. She uttered a stilted laugh and sighed when he claimed her lips in a gentle kiss.
In that moment, Colin fell. Down, down, down, the sensation engulfed him as he moved his mouth over hers, exploring as he’d done the night before. The sweet trace of sugar and tea met his palate with a tiny chaser of raspberry from that tempting tart. It worked to fire his hunger and awaken his need for this woman.
His Lucy.
“Colin...” What he assumed was a protest from her became something else when she put a hand to his chest and fisted her fingers into his cravat, pulling him closer. Her eyes blinked open and she looked at him with passion-clouded eyes. “I’ve missed you.”
It was all the encouragement he desired. “Only as much as I’ve missed you,” he whispered, and he stood, bringing her up with him. “Come.”
“Where are we going?” Her hand in his trembled, and his heart squeezed.
“Just here.” He sat heavily in one of the leather chairs, and with a smile, he tugged her down until she sat across his lap, her legs dangling off one of the arms. The warmth of her, the scent of her, the weight of her had his mind spinning. “Are you of a mind to continue?”
“Yes.” She snaked a hand up his chest and then wrapped her fingers about his nape, guiding him ever closer. “Perhaps this is to grasp closure, or mayhap I’m trying to finally remove you from my head and blood, but there’s only one way to find out.”
Even with such a mixed and confusing message, Colin still wanted her, because he, too, had the same feelings. “Indeed,” he murmured, and he fit his lips to hers once more.
Over and over he drank from her as if she held the last drop of water and he was dying. Lucy looped her arms around his shoulders, layering herself against him, and she kissed him back, not with the tentative rush they’d shared years ago but with knowledge and determination of a woman who knew her own mind.
Those seventeen-year-old kisses paled to what he experienced with her now. Colin settled her more comfortably in his arms. He deepened the embrace, nibbled her bottom lip, licked at the seam of her mouth until she opened for him, and he took full advantage by fencing with her tongue. Satin glided along silk. Heat infused every part of his body and still he devoured her, couldn’t have enough of this tempting bundle on his lap.
She met his every overture, responding with a desire to match his own. Lucy tugged at his cravat, and when it gaped, she pressed hot kisses to his neck, nipped at the skin, moved upward to nibble a path beneath his jaw in the spot that she knew drove him insane with need.
“Ah, Lucy, you’ve become a vixen since we were last together,” he breathed and then did his own bout of exploring over her fragrant, soft skin. He drew his lips downward to follow the neckline of her gown with kisses, and when she uttered a tiny sigh and shifted slightly to allow him greater access, he hooked a fingertip beneath the material and pulled until a breast popped free. “So lovely.”
“Remember the night you did much the same while we were hidden away in that broom closet?” she asked, her kiss-swollen lips curved in a darling smile, the dusky tip of her hardened nipple beckoning.
“We were forced into that ignoble hiding place, for one of my sisters had just come around the corner.” He chuckled and then closed his lips over that tempting bud, much to her obvious delight if her soft cry was any indication. When he released her, he said, “We were rather carried away with carnal foreplay, weren’t we?”
“Such scandal we executed when our elders didn’t know.” She pulled his head back down until he made love to her beautiful breast and then bared the second and repeated the process. Lucy trembled in his hold. Her breath came in panting gasps.
Colin wanted so much to burrow a hand beneath her skirts and discover how great her ardor for him was, but he didn’t dare, wouldn’t do anything to spook her. Instead, he claimed her mouth again. Several moments passed in blissful passion as he reacquainted himself with her lips, learned the secrets of her woman’s body, fed her desire with his own.
A rather poor time for the Christmas spirit to come upon him, but it did indeed, and it clobbered him over the head with such for that he bolted upright, breaking the delicious embrace. I know what I wish to give Lucy for a present. Colin grinned at her as her eyelids fluttered and she mewled a protest like a disturbed kitten.
Time was of the essence in this matter. It was the least he could do, and it would make up for not forgiving Jacob when he had the chance. In this way, Jacob’s legacy could be preserved and Lucy would be cared for once they parted. His heart stuttered. Was that what she wished after what they just shared? Did he? I need to think. Gently, he loosened his hold on her, ignoring the fetching picture she made in her flushed dishevelment. “Regrettably, I must interrupt this session, for I need to send a courier.”
“Right at this moment?” Her lips formed a pout and he nearly dismissed his errand for another chance at kissing her senseless.
“Yes. It’s of the utmost importance.” He encouraged her to slide from his lap, and when he stood, the obvious bulge at the front of his trousers would need to deflate before he could show himself in the public room. “I must send a message.”
She gawked, and he wished she’d cover her charms before he threw her onto the hearth rug and had his way with her. “To who?”
“I cannot tell you.” He was hard pressed not to grin with mischief.
“Why not?” Her eyes flashed blue fire. “The weather is horrible. It’s unlikely a courier, if dispatched, would make his destination.”
A grin played about his mouth. It was all too delicious. “I understand that but this cannot wait. Not a moment more.”
“Damn you, Colin.” All the desire drained from her countenance. In its place came disappointment and high annoyance. “Is this about your father’s wager?”
He hated the fact he’d have to dissemble, but he didn’t wish to spoil the surprise. If it would keep her from guessing, he’d lie. Wasn’t he an expert at that? “Yes. I want to reassure Father that I’ll arrive at the Hall before tomorrow morning, for once I dispatch the courier, you and I will set off.” In fact, he had a need to send two couriers—one to London and one to his father’s solicitor in Derbyshire asking the man to draw up preliminary paperwork on the property in question. That was what he’d give Lucy on Christmas morning. To make certain it happened, he would promise much coin to the man as well as the couriers.
“Urgh!” Lucy uttered a sound of frustration and as she righted her clothing, she glared. “You haven’t changed at all, not even after everything we’ve shared.” The tendons in her throat worked with a hard swallow. “What the devil is wrong with you, Colin? Have you no compassion, no sympathy, no love at this time of year especially?”
There was nothing wrong with him, not anymore. A woman didn’t kiss a man like Lucy had just now if she wasn’t interested in a future together, for his Lucy wasn’t angling for a mistress position and neither would she settle for a one-chance tupping. He grinned, and that set off her ire even more. “Oh, my dear, how painful it will be when you have to eat those words.” But he hoped she would understand later.
She had to, for if fortune was on his side, Christmas would be very merry indeed.