Chapter Fifteen
Angel was in a funky mood most of Wednesday and decided not to go to Bible study, then changed her mind. She was still a bit shook up after talking to Wes yesterday. The sad part was she had been enjoying their conversation right up until Wes mentioned her father being in Charlotte. It had weighed heavily on her the rest of day and last night. Wes was a reporter, and he had obviously been digging into her past, even before she showed up at the Cades’ home on Sunday. No wonder he was okay with inviting her inside. Maybe Detective Cade had shared something with Wes and he’d been investigating ever since. What bothered her was that if he was trying to help her, he could share what he knew. She wasn’t some story.
Angel tuned back into the group and noticed everyone was paying attention to Candace, who was speaking. “This week’s lesson was a hard one for me, as I’m sure it was for you too. How many of you have ever felt betrayed?”
Angel raised her hand and noticed most of the group members did too. As Candace asked more questions, Angel observed the number of hands that went up each time. She felt better that she’d come tonight. By no means was she alone in her feelings.
Candace continued, “Well, amen. I hope all of you will walk away tonight with a new mind-set about how to handle people when they have done something to lose your trust or have abandoned or even rejected you. Turn with me to the Gospel of John and then to chapter twenty-one.”
The classroom was filled with the sound of flipping pages. Angel was still getting used to finding things in the Bible, but tonight she turned right to John. The four Gospels were where she had started reading and learning about Jesus.
Candace waited until everyone was in the proper place and then said, “A few weeks ago, we celebrated Easter. Let’s go back a bit to the night before Jesus was crucified. What happened to Jesus’s disciples?”
A woman named Lily Owens answered, “They left him. Just scattered.”
Another woman, Clara Miles, said, “Yes, Peter, who was supposed to be the rock, denied him three times.”
Angel spoke up. “Judas sold him out too. He led the soldiers right to Jesus with a kiss.”
Candace shook her head. “You are all right. Jesus was betrayed by those he had gathered and prepared for ministry for three years. How do you think he felt? Especially after he was beaten, the crown of thorns was placed on his head, and then having to walk up to Golgotha. The nails in his hands and feet.”
The room was quiet as Candace described the scene of Jesus’s death. Angel found herself imagining it, but also thinking about people in her life. Kenneth. Denise. Her father.
Candace asked the group, “Does anyone want to share a time when you felt betrayed? How did you react? What has changed, if anything, for you today?”
Several hands went up, but Angel chose not to share. As she listened to the other women share, she couldn’t help but think back to the day she saw Kenneth and Denise together. She had been so excited about getting her first film project and had wanted to get Kenneth involved. She’d figured they could enjoy the day together.
His car was outside. She had a key to his apartment and didn’t think to knock or ring the bell. It seemed weird that the blinds were closed and the lights were off, but Kenneth wasn’t the cleanest person in the world. It was best that his messy apartment stayed in the dark. She heard noises but didn’t even stop to consider what she might walk into as she opened the bedroom door.
Angel placed her head in her hand and rubbed her forehead. This wasn’t the place to have that memory. She fought to find memories of the mother and father she’d lived most of her life without knowing, and then she had an awful realization: For a while, Kenneth and Denise had been her world, and then they were gone. Maybe that was why their betrayal hurt even more.
Angel looked up and saw that Candace was observing her. She tried to smile, but she knew Candace had seen her go off to another place. Right there in the middle of Bible study. Lord, help me.
Candace said to the group, “As I sat during the trial of the person who murdered my loved ones, I needed to find a way to get past my feelings of betrayal and pain. If I hadn’t, the door that needed to be open for me to share my story and for us to come together each Wednesday to share our stories of overcoming might have stayed shut. That hurt really does not stay with you forever as long as you are willing to forgive and let it go. Once you do forgive that person or persons, you can truly move forward into a place where you can tell others about the goodness of the Lord. He knows about pain and betrayal. And He rose in victory over all of it.”
Angel sat and listened thoughtfully to Candace. She understood where Candace was coming from, but wasn’t fully sure if it was something she could do.
“Let’s pray.” Candace’s voice rolled out smooth and sweet. “Father God, we thank you for watching over us and our families, keeping us all from harm and danger. We want you to take care of those who have family members who have fallen ill. By your stripes they are healed. Please free our minds of troubles, worry, and most of all, allow us to be able to forgive others as you have forgiven us. In Jesus’s name.”
After they prayed, the women in the group started talking and hugging each other. Angel made her way over to Candace in between the hugs and good-byes to ask, “You mind if I walk out with you?”
“Of course not. How are you holding up? Fredricka doing okay?”
“Yes. She should be moving to the rehabilitation place tomorrow. She is still having trouble speaking, and her right side isn’t cooperating, but they say she is improving.”
Candace swung her bag over her shoulder. “It’s going to be a process. Your grandmother was relatively healthy for her age, though. She could recover fully.”
“I hope so. The doctor said that it’s different for everyone with a stroke. They don’t really understand how the brain works and rebuilds.”
The two women walked out into the hallway. Angel grew quiet.
Candace asked, “You have something else on your mind, don’t you? I noticed you were a little preoccupied.”
“Yes, but my mind was on this lesson.” Angel smiled, but then she stopped walking and looked at Candace. “Yesterday I met the little boy that Kenneth and Denise had together.”
“Oh! How did you feel?”
“He was so cute. A ball of energy. And he looks so much like Kenneth. I remembered how I couldn’t get over the fact that the two people that were closest to me not only betrayed me, but also brought this child into the world as a reminder. How can I forget that, Candace?”
Candace hooked her arm through Angel’s arm so they could keep walking. “Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It’s about helping you to move forward. Have you ever thought this through? You told me often how you always felt like you couldn’t be yourself around Kenneth. What if God saved you from a relationship destined for heartache? You are young and doing your thing and running your own business at your age. At twenty-five, I had two babies, a cop for a husband, and was struggling to find something that I could do outside of the home.”
Angel grinned. “I guess. Who knows who God has for me?”
“Well, I’m glad that you recognize my wisdom, missy.”
They laughed as they walked out the door into the parking lot.
“You know, we can so easily get wrapped up in our past and our pain that we miss out on what God has for our future,” Candace added. “Believe me, I never imagined meeting anyone else after losing my Frank.”
“And look at you now, with Detective Darnell Jackson by your side. He’s pretty hot for an old guy.”
Candace stepped back and looked at her. “Old? Girl, who are you calling old? He is seasoned. We are both seasoned. Now I just need to get my last child out of the house.”
Angel said, “Oh, watch out, Daniel.” Candace’s oldest daughter, Rachel, was a freshman at UNC Chapel Hill. Daniel was a junior in high school.
After she hugged Candace, Angel climbed in her car. She felt hopeful. Maybe she would get to a place where she could shake the past. One step at a time.