“Hey.” Andy joins me in the back room. “You almost done here?”
“Just finishing up this last thing.” I nod towards the box I’ve just opened. “Do you need any help out there?”
“No, pretty much everyone has gone home. As soon as the boys from the distillery leave, it’s suddenly so quiet and calm.”
I turn back to the supplies which need to be returned to the storeroom, but Andy stays standing behind me.
“Anything I can do for you?”
“Actually,” he says, scratching his head awkwardly. “I thought we could have a chat.”
I get up and wipe my hands on my jeans; Andy gestures over to a stool, and I sit down.
“Should I be worried?” I ask, although I already am. It’s not every day that Andy wants to chat.
“I just want to know how things are going in the shop.”
“We’re managing,” I respond vaguely. I’m not sure where he’s going with this.
“And you’re okay splitting your time between your work there, all the deliveries, the hours you spend here…?”
“Fuck,” I sigh. “You’re about to sack me, aren’t you?”
“What? Of course not – what are you talking about?”
“It sounds to me like one of those roundabout speeches you hear just before you get fired.”
“Why would I fire you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you need someone who’s around more – someone who’s never late, who doesn’t ask for so much time off.”
“I knew about your situation when I hired you.”
“So you don’t want to fire me?”
“Not at all.”
I heave a sigh of relief, clutching my chest. “Thank God. I’d have had no idea what to do.”
“Are things that bad?”
I don’t want to talk to my boss about my problems with my other boss – even though the latter is my brother, and I can’t exactly say I work for him. I’m just helping out.
“I’d never find another job that would let me spend so much time in the shop.”
“Is that why you wanted to work here instead of continuing your career?”
“Career? What do you mean?”
“Were you not an accountant or something equally as boring?”
I laugh. “Financial consultant.”
“I don’t know what the hell that means.”
“I ask myself the same thing, sometimes, don’t worry.”
“And you couldn’t find anything in that field around here?”
“Come on, Andy. We’re in Letterfrack. Who needs financial consulting here?”
I worked as a financial consultant for a large corporation for years – big conglomerates, I mean, not family businesses. They’d have no idea what to do with me here.
“Not even as a freelancer or something?”
“Are you sure you’re not going to fire me? Because it really feels like you are.”
Andy finally sits down, thankfully – he was making me nervous.
“I’m not firing you,” he says again. “I was just wondering why someone like you agreed to work for me. I though t that, with all your experience, you’d have found something else – maybe in Clifden.”
“I’d rather stay nearby.”
“You want to keep an eye on Noel?”
“I don’t want to leave him on his own for too long. Ronan can’t look after him all day. And besides, it’s not like I was flooded with job offers. Working here was the best choice for me.”
“Are you sure about that?”
I think about this for a moment.
“You were one of the few people who seemed to actually care about our situation.”
“I know how it feels when someone slams the door in your face.”
“I haven’t forgotten, and neither has Noel.”
Andy flashes me a smile.
“You and Reid were the only ones who really helped. He told me, you know: what you both did for him, for the shop.”
“We didn’t do anything that any good neighbour wouldn’t do.”
“Well, you were the only ones. I know you were the ones who spoke to the bank.”
“Sullivan would never have let Noel go out of business.”
“I should’ve come back sooner, been there for him.”
“You’re here now. That’s what counts.”
Andy’s words don’t relieve any of the pressure I can feel in my chest. They don’t relieve my guilt.
“It took me too long.”
I was so scared. I was scared to come back to the tiny, suffocating town where it all began; scared that everything would come flooding back, and I wouldn’t be able to avoid it; scared I wouldn’t be good enough to accept it.
“You know, I was thinking…” Andy scratches his neck. “You’re a consultant, right? Not an accountant?”
“Exactly.”
“So I’d imagine you deal with accounts, invoices…”
“I’m not sure I know what you’re getting at.”
“Well, as you may have guessed, I’m shit at many things – especially all the boring stuff you seem to be an expert in.”
I overlook the fact he’s essentially telling me that I’m boring for the second time in as many minutes.
“You could help me.”
“Help you?”
“With the accounts.”
“Why?”
“Because, as I said, I have no idea how to do it. But you…”
“I don’t need your pity, Andy.” The words come out quickly, bitter.
“I’m not doing this out of pity.”
“I’m not your problem.”
Andy’s gaze softens. “I want to help.”
“As I told you at the beginning of this weird conversation, we’re managing just fine.” I get to my feet, ready to get back to work.
“I know that Noel can’t pay you.” His tone is sad, laden with all the things he knows he can’t say; things that will humiliate me more than I already am. “He told me you offered to work for free, so that he wasn’t forced to hire anyone. And he told me that you help out in the bakery as well as with deliveries.”
“What do you want, Andy?”
“I want to help out however I can.”
“Why do you want to help us? You and Noel weren’t even that close.”
“We are now. And so are the two of us. And friends help out wherever they can, without needing to be asked. I can’t pay you much, but you could work on the accounts while you’re here, when things are quiet, so you don’t have to do more hours. It would be something extra for you, for Noel. To help you get back on track.”
I study him for a moment; his gaze is as sincere as his words. His offer is that of a friend who knows what it means to have no one to rely on.
“Just until we’re back on our feet.”
“Deal.”
“When do you want me to start?”
“As soon as you’ve finished cashing up,” he says, nodding behind me. “And, just warning you now, it’ll be a nightmare. There’s a lot of work to do and a fuckload of stuff to sort out.”
I laugh. “No problem.”
“It’s nice to have you around – and what you’re doing is even nicer.”
“Anyone would’ve done the same in my position.”
“No, I don’t think so. You left your life, your job, your home. And you’re here, in the town you grew up in – the one you escaped as soon as you got the chance.”
I shrug, then I tell him the only reason why I decided to dive head-first into the past, and give up everything I’d built with my own hands over the years.
“He’s my brother.”
Andy nods. “I know exactly what you mean.”