“It will be an elven wedding!”
“Over my dead body!”
“Don’t tempt me.”
The shouts drifted through the front door of the Lodge.
My feet got me to the top of the stairs and then refused to move. I really needed to learn that I didn’t have a single drop of good luck in my body.
The door opened, and Eve stuck her head out. “You drove up ages ago. Are you coming in?”
“Should I come in?”
“No.” She shrugged. “But I don’t see that you have a choice.”
“Parlor?”
“All of them.” She held the door open for me.
I pointedly ignored the yelling. “How long?”
“On this subject? Ten minutes.” She closed the door, sparing the wildlife the drama.
“She’ll be the premier one day!” Dorthea roared. “It’s a witch wedding!”
I winced. “So they’ve agreed I can marry Elron?”
Eve nodded. “He was firm on that point.”
“As he should be.” Because we were getting married, no matter who showed up to protest. “We should go in.”
“It’s not my wedding.”
I couldn’t argue that point. “Please? They might hold back if you’re in the room.”
“Nope. They started yelling when I was in there.”
So much for that idea.
Eve stepped closer. “Do you have one of those smart phones?”
“Um, yes?”
She bounced again. “Oh, cool. Are there games on it? I’ve heard they have games.”
I handed over the phone, with instruction to bring it to me if it rang, and opened a “match three” game for her.
Eve sat in the hall, her back to the parlor wall, fingers flying across the screen as she matched gems.
I girded my loins and headed into the fray.
At first, they didn’t notice me. How could they, with Dorthea nose to nose with Enor—an impressive feat with a coffee table between them. Dad was trying to tug Mom back to her seat and frantically whispering. Mom’s eyes were locked on Erwin.
Elron had his dad turned partly away from the group. Whatever he was saying involved a lot of gesturing. Elron could’ve saved himself the effort. Erwin was focused on Dorthea. With all of them talking, the words blurred together.
Dorthea spotted me first. “You! Tell them it has to be a witch wedding.”
“No.” Enor didn’t waste any time. “If you are marrying my son, it will be in a traditional elven ceremony.”
Elron groaned. “I refuse to plant a tree and wait for its first bloom before marrying. That stupidity died out years ago.”
“Watch your language,” Erwin snapped.
What Narzel-blasted nightmare had I walked in on?
“Stupidity,” Elron said.
I turned my back on them and closed the parlor doors. The entire lodge didn’t need to hear this. With a few runes muttered under my breath, I added a sound-absorbing shield. Too bad I couldn’t cast the same spell on my ears.
“Elven wedding or none at all. What will it be?” Enor’s voice rose above Elron and Erwin’s argument.
I sucked in a deep breath and prayed for patience. Forcing a blank expression, rather than the one of horror that felt natural, I turned back to the group. “Erwin, Enor, how long will you be staying?”
Erwin broke off his argument with Elron to study me.
“If this wedding is going to happen, until the ceremony.” Enor smiled. “We want to get to know you, and we need time to pick a new home. Alaska has too many people.”
I’d found hell, right here in the parlor, with the prospect of living with my soon-to-be in-laws for Earth knew how long while they fought to control my life.
“Alaska? Crowded?” Dorthea snorted. “Hardly.”
Erwin’s face turned bright red. I hadn’t even known elves could flush that brightly.
Elron came over to me and took my hand. “We are honored you wish to stay with us until the wedding.”
‘Honored’ wasn’t the word I would’ve chosen. Horrified sounded about right.
“The tree, the betrothal vine—those are important. We brought a seed from the hickory tree we planted at our betrothal,” Erwin said. “And how will we have time to properly craft the harp?”
No elven wedding I’d been to had had any of these things. Two of them had taken place under the same maple tree with morning glory twisted around its branches to frame the couple. One couple was 43 and 57 and far too young to have planted a maple of that size.
“It has to be a witch ceremony,” Dorthea said. “She’s going to be the premier.”
Enor sucked in a breath to resume the argument.
This was an issue I could fix. “Dorthea, stop being part of the problem and work toward a solution. It would be entirely reasonable to blend aspect of elven and witch traditions.”
She plopped back into her seat. “But Ethel hired me—”
I spoke over her. “To plan the wedding, not dictate it. Find a way to blend traditions, or I’ll find a different wedding planner.”
Her mouth snapped shut.
“A start,” Erwin muttered.
I wanted a drink, which I wasn’t going to get any time soon.
“Perhaps an outdoor wedding would be a good compromise.” Mom gave me a small smile. “It would go a long way to blending the ceremonies.”
“There will be enough witches in attendance that we can shield the party from any inclement weather,” Dad said.
Elron nodded. “It would be easier to find an outdoor location we like. So many of the large venues lacked charm.”
“Outdoors it is.” I locked eyes with Dorthea.
She nodded and started writing.
“Perhaps we plant a tree to commemorate our union?” Elron said.
Enor nudged Erwin. He grunted and said, “Acceptable.”
I wasn’t going to let this cooperative spirit evaporate before we settled a few more details. “We could get married under an arbor of roses?”
“Does it have to be roses?” Erwin asked.
Elron glared at his dad.
“Fine,” Erwin grumbled.
“Mom, Dad?” I prompted.
Dad nodded. Wedding planning wasn’t his favorite subject, even before this mess.
Mom smiled. “It sounds lovely.”
I turned to Erwin and Enor. “Perhaps you could draw up a list of what is expected in a traditional elven ceremony. Elron and I can go over it and offer options that blend my traditions with yours. Dorthea can also research elven weddings so we have a better idea what elements need to be incorporated.”
“Are we to be ignorant of your race’s traditions?” Erwin stared at me.
I forced a polite smile. “Of course not. Dorthea is available to answer questions.” She needed to do something other than be a pain in my butt. “My family and I will be more than happy to share our wedding customs.”
“That will be a great help,” Enor smiled, and it was as genuine as mine. “Erwin, perhaps we should settle into our room before dinner. When is dinner?”
Elron answered his parent’s questions.
A light tap on the door drew my attention away. Eve poked her head through the door and held out the phone. “It said the battery is low.”
“Thanks.” I took the phone. At this point, it didn’t matter if it died. The real emergency was here.
She closed the door behind her. “You did it. They quieted down.”
I leaned over and whispered, “I used magic to shield the room.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She peered around me. “Did you use magic on them?”
“Nope, they ran out of steam.” Earth knew it wasn’t good luck. That had abandoned me long ago.
Her mouth quirked. “We’re going to be family, right?”
“We are family. The wedding just makes it formal.” I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I wanted her to know none of this mess had anything to do with her. Neither Elron nor any of my family would hold her parents’ bellowed demands against her.
Eve glanced at her parents, who were still talking to Elron. “I’ve always wanted a nickname, and I was thinking, since I was born on Halloween, you could call me Tricks?”
“You got it, Tricks.” I winked.
“Eve!” Enor pushed past Elron. “We talked about this. You have a lovely name, and we do not use nicknames.”
Tricks crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t like my name. Tricks is way cooler.”
“Your name is Eve,” Enor repeated, as if it would make a difference.
Elron peered over his mother’s head. “They took their dedication to ‘E’ names too far.”
“Exactly!” Tricks said.
“Don’t encourage her, Elron.” Erwin glared at his children. “Eve, we had this discussion last week. We will only call you by your given name or another elven name.”
Behind them, my mom had a hand over her mouth. Dad turned away, but I saw his shoulders shaking. Dorthea’s grin was terrifying, though I couldn’t blame her.
Landa came in. “Dinner will be ready in half an hour.”
“Thank you,” Erwin said. “We will be there.”
Landa ignored the dismissal. “Michelle, take the magic off this room.”
I dismissed the spell while Tricks glared at her parents. It would be nice to get to know her, especially if I could do it without her parents telling her what to say. I caught Elron’s eye. He nodded slightly.
“If an elf has a name, it’s an elven name. Therefore, if my name is Tricks, it’s a valid Elven name.” She rushed through the words in one breath.
Erwin closed his eyes.
“You tried that logic with the name Holly two weeks ago,” Enor said. “It is circular and not accepted.”
“Hey,” I said.
Tricks turned to me.
“How would you like to have dinner with me and Elron? We can go to town and get sandwiches. We know a great deli.” I held out my hand.
“Can I?” Tricks bounced.
Enor’s lips flattened, but she nodded.
“Thank!” Tricks turned to me. “When do we leave?”
“How does now sound?” Elron asked.
“Awesome!” Her gaze darted from Elron and me as she bounced. “Which car?”
“Mine.” I tossed her the keys. “You can unlock it.”
She bolted out of the room “Yes!”
I took Elron’s hand, and we edged around Landa before hesitating in the doorway. If they were going to be rude to me, it would be for a reason, not just because I was a witch. “We’ll have Tricks back in an hour or two.”
I darted for the door, Elron right behind me.
Erwin bellowed.