Whenever life gets overwhelming or you lose your sense of direction, nothing can give you a sense of peace, calm and perspective like star-gazing. It’s an astonishingly simple and natural way to connect to nature and feel blessed to be a child of the universe. Gazing at the stars connects you to something greater than yourself.
Many of us think of star-gazing as a specialist skill or only for enthusiastic amateur astronomers willing to devote hours of their time to peering through a telescope on a roof or at the top of a hill. But star-gazing isn’t just for those who are highly trained or knowledgeable about the stars, it is for everyone. Since humans walked the Earth they have looked up at the stars for guidance and today star-gazing is a remarkably therapeutic way to connect with nature.
Research has shown that regularly looking up at the stars and spending time gazing at them can make a person kinder. The reason? Star-gazing fills us with awe.39,40 It reminds us that we are part of something expansive or bigger than ourselves. You realize that in the grand scheme of things your problems and stresses are insignificant. Feeling like you are no longer the centre of the universe brings a sense of humility and shift in perspective that encourages you to be kinder to yourself and nicer to others. You recognize that your time on Earth is limited and this encourages you to ditch self-interest and replace it with a desire to serve a higher or greater good.
As well as making you feel more compassionate to yourself and each other, spending time gazing at the stars encourages you to slow down and reflect. Research has consistently shown that taking time out by yourself to reflect mindfully is powerful medicine for your health and holistic wellbeing. A spot of star-gazing can calm and relax you and, in contrast to visiting a spa, or getting a massage or holistic treatment, it is completely free of charge. Last, but by no means least, star-gazing is a ritual that can ignite your intuition and creativity. Looking up at the stars is an activity that totally occupies and distracts your conscious mind giving your unconscious mind – and the imagination, creativity and intuition that can be found there – a chance to express itself.
Jenna, one of my readers, sent me an inspirational message last year. She had been reading one of my spiritual books about ways we can find inspiration and comfort when times are challenging or we are grieving a departed loved one. She wanted to tell me how she managed to find hope in the darkness.
Jenna explained that five years ago she lost her partner in a car accident. She felt numb and life seemed to lose all meaning. With two young boys to raise, her mother suffering from early signs of dementia and needing her ongoing support and care, and a stressful job she didn’t enjoy at a bank, she was on the brink of despair. Feeling insecure and desperate, she rushed into a new relationship and remarried within six months. A year later her new husband had emptied her bank account and left her for someone decades younger. At this point Jenna plunged into full-blown depression. She visited her GP who referred her to a counsellor.
Much to her surprise the counsellor said very little and simply listened to her talk about the pain, loneliness, darkness and despair of her life. As she was talking, Jenna noticed that behind the counsellor’s desk was a framed poster with the words, “Stars shine brightest when it is dark.”
That evening when Jenna was putting the rubbish out for collection, she noticed that the stars were out in force. Perhaps because the poster she had read triggered something, she glanced up and looked into the darkness of the night sky. She noticed how many bright lights there were. In that moment she described a remarkable shift in awareness. She was surrounded by darkness, pain and confusion but deep inside she also knew there was a shining light. She was alone but she didn’t feel alone. She was going through a tough time but she just knew she would pull through.
From that moment on, instead of plunging further and further into darkness, Jenna realized that the challenges she was facing were also reminding her of the light within her and the blessings in her life. She had her sons, her health and the power to create the kind of life she wanted. Her recovery from despair didn’t happen overnight, but in the coming days, weeks and months Jenna found a deep strength within her. Today she has written her first novel and is living her passion as a health and wellbeing magazine editor. Her boys are thriving and her mother’s condition has improved. She admits that there were many factors at play, but she is also utterly convinced that the turning point, the epiphany, was that one starry night.
Nothing could be simpler. Step outside when the sun has set and it is dark. If you have a garden, that’s an ideal location, but if not, just stand somewhere outside your home. If you are concerned about stepping outside, find a window with a clear view of the night sky instead and open it if you can. Assuming you are stepping outside, find a quiet spot to perform the ritual without too much noise and distraction or bright light, but put your personal safely first and don’t go anywhere isolated on your own at night. Bring a torch or your mobile (cellphone) with you so you are not fumbling about in the darkness and, if possible, use a torch with a red filter or cover your phone with red paper as red light is kinder on the eyes than white.
When you have found a safe spot with a good view of the night sky, take a few slow and deep breaths. If it is really dark, bear in mind that it takes about 10 to 15 minutes for your eyes to adjust to the darkness. When you feel they have adjusted, gently raise your head and gaze up at the stars. Don’t try to direct your thoughts or your gaze to anything in particular. Don’t even wish upon the stars. Simply gaze up at them and as you do, feel yourself merging into them. Stay there for at least five minutes and then, when you are ready to come back to Earth, lower your head, close your eyes and yawn loudly. Shake your hands and feet and blow a kiss or send a thank-you blessing to the stars.
Not every night is a clear starry night, so this ritual is one that you may have to put on hold until a night falls when the stars can be seen clearly, lighting up the sky with their magic. Bear in mind that the sky is at its clearest when it is cold and crisp and there is no humidity, so typically the best time to star-gaze is when the moon is dark, new, waxing or waning. When the moon is full there is so much light it can be hard to see the stars. Don’t let this stop you gazing at the night sky though, as moon-watching can be just as wonderful – see Ritual 15: Moon-bathing, page 119.
If you live in an urban area, man-made light will inevitably pollute your view of the sky. But the higher up you go, the more you are likely to see, so the top of a high building or a roof garden are good places to star-gaze. It can also help to invest in an inexpensive pair of binoculars, although bear in mind that even qualified astronomers who work with telescopes and other high-tech star-gazing tools still recommend gazing up at the sky with your naked eyes from time to time, as this is how humankind has watched the stars for millennia. If you live in a big city it can be difficult to see more than a few stars, even from the top of a skyscraper on a clear night. So, if it’s still not possible for you to view the night sky clearly, you can perform this ritual by watching videos of the night sky, or simply when gazing at a beautiful photograph of a starry night.
Every evening the stars come out. Sure, some nights the stars shine brighter and are easier to see than others but, whether you can see the stars and moon clearly or not, gazing up at the night sky is a beautiful and empowering way to calm your mind, fire your creativity and soothe your soul. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from this age-old magical practice.
This is a ritual you can repeat nightly and the more you do it, the more rewarding it gets. You may also find that when you look up at the stars you want to learn more about them by researching online or following astronomers on social media. You start to learn illuminating things, such as that when a light in the sky sparkles, it’s most probably a star, but when it is still and appears brighter than the lights close by, it is likely to be a planet. Knowing simple facts like this about the stars and planets can feel satisfying and rewarding. You can take your research one step further and download some easy-to-use astronomy apps: Google Sky Maps is basically Google Maps for space; Starwalk and Stellarium are exciting apps that tell you about the sky based on where you are standing. If you are really keen, join some star-gazing groups online or find a local astronomical society in your community.
It’s probably best to find out more about the night sky using books, websites, videos and apps before investing in a telescope. Although they can offer you incredible views of the night sky, telescopes are often complicated to use and expensive. Unless you are going to make star-gazing a serious hobby, a simple pair of binoculars will suffice – but even those aren’t essential as your own eyes are all you really need.
Connecting to nature ritual: When the sun has set and night falls, step outside and find somewhere to gaze at the stars or night sky above you for at least five minutes.
The theory: Getting intimate with the night sky and pondering your place in the universe connects you to the beauty of nature and reminds you that you are part of something bigger than yourself.
The practice: You can star-gaze anywhere but the darker the location and the further away from urban lights the better. A garden or wooded area is good, but anywhere dark will be fine. When you have performed this ritual, be sure to note the date and time in your back-to-nature journal. Write down what you noticed in the sky above you and what insights, reflections or feelings the starscape inspired within you.