Tammy was not prepared for what faced her when she arrived at her mother’s house. She had expected to come back and find Mercy changed, possibly distant, maybe angry with her for leaving. She thought that she could overcome all of that, given a chance. She thought that she could earn her daughter’s trust if she stuck around for a while and behaved herself. Tammy had expected Trudy to be angry with her and Claire to welcome her warmly, sloppily, sweetly. With relief and gratitude. She had hoped that Fenton would hold it together, would stand by her. At least for a minute.
But here’s what is happening now.
Fenton is lying on the ground on his back, his head turned to the side, his left foot twitching. Mercy is sitting on the ground beside him, smoothing his hair back from his forehead and whispering. The dog, the big fat ungainly dog, is tenderly licking Fenton’s hand.
Claire is weeping and holding the hand of the man Tammy supposes is Darren Robertson, the love of Claire’s life, the missing link. According to folklore, Tammy’s own father.
Trudy is standing at the doorway, stunned, looking like she has been hit in the head with a plank. Frankly, nobody is paying any attention to Tammy at all. She feels like a sheet on the clothesline, waiting for a breeze. Limp. Unmoved.
My daughter looked right through me. She walked right past me.
Mercy, who is five years old, and has no right to have any idea who she is, who has nothing to base an opinion on, saw her, recognized her, and walked right past her. Twice. Once to check on Claire and once to help Fenton. Who she has never even heard of before. Tammy’s mother and sister have not seen her in years and they seem not to have noticed her at all. My arms are empty, thinks Tammy. Maybe that’s how they are supposed to be.
Mercy rests her hand on Fenton’s brow and looks over at her mother. Mercy is squinting into the sunlight, but Tammy knows she is looking straight at her. It seems as though she might say something, but then she stops. She changes her mind. Little Mercy stands up and turns toward the house. “Trudy! Something’s wrong with my mom’s friend!”