ANNIE TOOK ELIZABETH back to the table. ‘Sit down and eat your crisps,’ she said, pushing the child down into her seat.
‘What’s the matter?’ William asked.
‘She was down by the weir. I told her – I told you, didn’t I, Elizabeth, that you weren’t to go out of my sight? You frightened me half to death. You could have fallen in the water and drowned.’
Elizabeth scowled and rested her cheek on her fist.
‘Eat your crisps.’
‘I hate you!’
‘Talk to me like that, young lady, and you’ll feel the back of my hand!’
‘Annie.’ Janine’s voice was gentle. ‘She’s safe. She wasn’t so far away and she’s here now.’
Ethel looked up anxiously. ‘Is everybody all right?’
Annie wiped her hair back from her forehead.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Everybody’s fine,’ and she sat back down on the bench. She didn’t want her wine now, she just wanted to be out of the place. She had her back to where Tom and the girl were sitting, but they must still be there, looking out at the sunlight on the river, the swans.
Tom had been as surprised to see her as she had been to see him. She’d seen the shock in his face and they’d been forced to act out a polite little conversation for the benefit of the girl. Tom had introduced her to Annie as my friend Selina and Annie to the girl simply as Annie. She knew she had no right to feel upset by this – he could hardly have said the married woman I’m sleeping with, or even the woman who was my first love, but even so it had felt awful for Annie to be so officially insignificant. Selina had been very young close up, slight, pretty, with freckles on her nose and cheeks, dark eyelashes and a friendly smile. Her hair was hidden beneath the hat, but tiny black curls had come down onto her skinny shoulders, the black top she was wearing with her bra straps showing. She had said: ‘Thanks, babe,’ when Tom passed her the drink. She had smiled up at him and her teeth were white and slightly crooked. She had a soft, Scottish accent. Annie had stood there with a rictus smile on her face.
Thanks, babe. Thanks, babe.
‘Darling?’
She looked at William. For the briefest moment she did not even recognise her husband, she had forgotten he was there. She looked at his long, intelligent face, his pale grey eyes, the wrinkled throat inside the collar of the pale blue shirt, and she tried to pull herself back to the present.
‘Sorry, I was miles away.’
‘Mother needs the lavatory.’
‘Oh Ethel, I’m sorry. Let me help you up. Do you need to come too, Lizzie?’
Elizabeth shook her head. She was still wearing the mutinous expression.
Annie helped Ethel to her feet, and took hold of her arm. They walked very slowly up the path and into the pub. When the old woman was settled in the cubicle, Annie stood beside the door, holding it shut.
She knew there was no reason why Tom should not come to a country pub with a friend on a day when he knew Annie was unavailable. She had no right to dictate to him how he lived his life. And she hoped he wasn’t, she really hoped he wasn’t – but if he was having sex with Selina, it was nothing to do with Annie. She still shared a bed with William, so was it fair to expect Tom to sleep alone every night? But how many hours had it been since he had lain with her beside the fire in the night? How many more days and nights could she bear to be without him? How much longer could she carry on like this before something gave, something broke, something happened?
Ethel rattled the handle to let Annie know she was done, and Annie helped the old lady straighten her underwear and wash her hands. They went back out through the pub. Annie stopped to buy an ice-pop for Elizabeth to make up for snapping at her earlier. As they emerged from the gloom of the interior to the brightness of outside, Ethel squeezed Annie’s arm and said, ‘Look, dear, there’s our driver.’
‘Oh yes,’ Annie said.
‘He’s with someone. Look, Annie, don’t they make a lovely couple.’