I ain’t going to lie, I felt like I was going to pee on myself sitting on that cold steel seat in the back of Sgt. Daniels’ police car.
Right before Sgt. Daniels pulled off, Coach came up. I guess somebody told him what had gone down. Kids were standing outside and I saw some of them peering through the windows from inside the school building. I crouched down on the seat as low as I could. I couldn’t hear what was being said between Coach Byrd and Principal Myers. I did see Ms. Glasgow and Mr. Wooten come outside and all of them started talking about me and what I did and what the other kids said I did, and about me being homeless. What about me? Did anyone care that I had been bullied and made to feel ashamed of my circumstances? How was it my fault that I was homeless? I listened to them talking outside of the squad car. Coach Byrd, well I’m just going to tell you that I will forever respect that man. He argued and talked and then talked some more, pleading my case.
“I’ll be responsible for him until we can get hold of his father,” I heard him say. “You all know if that boy takes a ride downtown it’s all over. He’s going to be put in the system and probably placed in foster care if he really is homeless. There are no programs that protect single fathers with kids. It’s sad, but unfortunately, it’s true. The system will remove Nyl and his little sister instantly from Mr. Person.
As far as fighting, it’s not like one of my boys to start a fight. I know Nyl, and he’s a good kid. Never gives me any trouble and you know how valuable he is to the team, Principal Myers.”
“Yes, I understand how you feel about this young man, Coach, but I’m telling you, I will not be responsible for him leaving this property and going to the streets and to God knows where. You know how much trouble I can get in if I let this pass? I can’t let Nyl off the hook because I feel sorry for him.”
Coach Byrd kept trying to convince her to let him help me out. “All I’m asking for is one day,” Coach told Principal Myers. “Let me get in touch with his father. Let me find out for sure if what Sierra James said is true. I’ll stay here after practice, as late as I have to until his father comes and then I’ll talk to him. Man to man. Just give me one night, Principal Myers.
Please let her say yes, please, please God, I prayed as I continued listening. God must have stopped and listened because next thing I know the back door was opening and Sgt. Daniels told me to get out of his police car.
Principal Myers explained that I was to go with Coach Byrd until my father came. Man, was I glad that Coach had stood up for me.
Coach didn’t say a word while he escorted me to his classroom. I didn’t know what to make of it, so I decided I would just remain quiet until he said something first. That way I wouldn’t put my foot in my mouth.
“Son, you’re one of us, a Fairley Bulldog. You’re one of my best players. How many times have I told you guys that we’re family? And if we’re family that means we stick together. You should have told me about your situation. We all go through rough patches in life, son. I wish you had come to me. I hope you know that I’m on your side. You hear me?”
“Yes, sir.” Coach was probably right. I should have told him and maybe he could have helped. And even if he couldn’t help, at least he would know why there were some games when I didn’t perform well on the court, all because either I was hungry, or hadn’t slept and all of that stuff.
“Now why didn’t you tell me that you were homeless?” Coach asked.
What did Coach mean? Did he think I was going to walk up to him and say, ‘Oh, Coach, did I tell you that my Pops got fired from his job, he drinks way too much, we spend most nights sleeping in our Yukon, we eat at a soup kitchen and most of the time I’m starving?’ No way could I tell him my story, so I shrugged my shoulders instead of answering him.
“Nyl, I asked you a question? Why didn’t you tell me what was going on with your family situation?”
“Coach, I’m not homeless. Really, I’m not. That’s the truth,” I continued to lie.
“Look, son, you’re an important member of the team. There is nothing you shouldn’t be able to come and talk to me about. Now, tell me. Where is your father?”
“At work. He’ll be here around five. But I need to go and pick up my sister from school. When I don’t have practice, we go to the library and wait until he comes.
I watched as Coach fiddled around with the lid on his cap and shook his head like he was maybe wierded out over what I had told him. “I’ll take you to get your sister and then we’ll come back and wait here, at the school, for your father. We’ll get this thing sorted out. I promise you that.”
I had mixed emotions about Coach Byrd’s offer to get things sorted out, as he put it. Knowing my Pops, there was no way he was going to trust Coach Byrd or anyone else at the school with his problems. He was a private person and hated when his business got out. But then on the other hand, maybe Coach could help Pops get a permanent job or maybe he knew somewhere we could stay. No, that was too farfetched. What was wrong with me? What was I thinking? Nothing was going to change for us anytime soon, not at the rate my Pops was moving. But anything was better than being arrested, locked up in juvenile, and separated from my family.
Coach Byrd took me to pick up Nyla from school. “Are you guys hungry?” he asked.
I was about to tell him “No” although I was so hungry I could eat ten horses, but Nyla opened her big mouth and told him, ‘Yes.’
“Okay, we’ll go up on Elvis Presley and y’all let me know where you want to stop.”
Elvis Presley Boulevard had a whole bunch of fast food spots. Pops would be mad again if he found out that Coach took us to get something to eat, all because Nyla told him she was hungry. We may have been homeless, we may have eaten many days at one of the soup kitchens, or not at all, but Pops didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for us.
We went to Burger King, got out, and went inside.
“Order whatever you want, Coach said to me and Nyla.
“Uh, you sure?”
“I said, get what you want.”
I didn’t want to be greedy but hey, it is what it is and I was already up to my eyeballs in trouble, so I thought I might as well take advantage of the offer. I couldn’t help myself. I ordered a Double Whopper combo with an extra order of fries, and a Whopper Jr. Combo with onion rings. Coach made small talk with Nyla, asking her about her school day, and what she liked to do.
I gave her the evil eye, but she ignored me and told Coach all about Momz dying, daddy drinking, and how she hated living in our Yukon.
Coach Byrd stared at me, and then at Nyla. That’s when I saw that look in his eyes. The look Pops hated. The look of pity. So you lied. You are homeless.” Coach looked mad on top of sounding like he felt sorry for us.
“That’s enough, Nyla. Shut up,” I finally spoke up and warned her. She looked down at her food and started picking at it. I didn’t care how she felt, she should know by now that family business is private business. I had let her talk way too much. She had to learn like I did that people weren’t always understanding about people being homeless. Today I sort of understood that people like Sierra would probably never understand the misfortune of others. If I wasn’t in the situation myself, I would probably be like Sierra, Zach, and the rest of the kids too, laughing and making fun of someone else’s suffering, which wasn’t cool. I could see that now. Coach spoke up and pulled me from my thoughts.
“Don’t be so tough on your sister,” Coach told me and gave me a stern look of his own. “Since you don’t want to open up to me, I’ll talk to your dad, but, Nyl, son, you have nothing to be ashamed or worried about. I’m here to help you.”
I finished eating without saying another word.
∞
As soon as we turned on to Fairley Road, I saw Pops in the parking lot standing next to the Yukon.
“There’s Daddy,” Nyla pointed and screamed like she hadn’t seen him in ages. Dang, girls can be so emotional at times. It’s sickening. Coach drove in the direction Nyla had pointed in. He pulled up a couple of car lengths away from Pops. I saw Pops watching me and Nyla as we got out of Coach Byrd’s car. I swallowed hard as I walked toward him, trying to prepare myself for the questions that were sure to come, like what we were doing getting out of Coach’s car, where had we been, and what was going on. But things weren’t as bad as I expected. Coach walked up to Pops, spoke, shook Pops’ hand, and proceeded to tell him about everything that had happened before Pops had a chance to go off on me.
Pops looked at me like I was crazy. I don’t know what was going through his mind, but rather than go off, he ended up thanking Coach for saving me from taking a trip downtown, which could have turned out really, really bad.
“Let’s talk over here,” Coach said to Pops. They went to the side of the Yukon out of me and Nyla’s hearing range. Nyla wasn’t paying attention to what the two men were discussing anyway, but I sure was, which is why I guess he wanted to talk to him privately. For at least fifteen or twenty minutes, they talked. I strained to hear what they were saying, but one time Pops looked over at me and must have realized I was trying to eavesdrop because he ordered me and Nyla to go get in the Yukon. When was he going to stop treating me like a little kid?
When Pops finished talking to Coach, he came and got in the Yukon. I was waiting for him to tell me what he and Coach had talked about, but Pops said nothing. I couldn’t hold back any longer, especially after he started up the Yukon and drove off the school lot.
“Pops, what happened? What did you and Coach talk about?”
“I had to lie to your coach, something I hated to do, but I couldn’t let him know that we were living in this truck. I still don’t fully trust the man.” He turned around and looked at Nyla. “You’re in trouble, young lady. Didn’t I tell you not to tell anybody where we were living? Didn’t I?” he yelled at her until Nyla burst out in tears.
I felt sorry for Nyla this time, so I tried to talk up for her. “Pops, it’s not her fault. She didn’t mean to bring trouble on us. She likes Coach and she thought since he bought us something to eat that it was all right to tell him.”
“Umph. You better learn how to keep your mouth shut. You hear me, young lady?” He looked at her again.
Nyla nodded but kept crying. “Wipe your face and be quiet before I give you something to cry about,” Pops told her and almost right away, Nyla stopped crying. Pops gave her a piece of tissue he had in the console to wipe her face.
He looked at me next. “Now, back to you. Tell me about this suspension. Why would you be up in the school fighting, son? You know how bad this could have turned out?”
“Yes, sir,” I answered.
“I could have lost you and your sister to the system if they had taken you downtown. Thank God, for your coach, and for the principal. She could have easily let your butt take that ride to Juvenile Hall. Do you know how serious this is?
“But, Pops, if you could have heard them laughing and talking about me. And Zach, who I thought was my friend, he was the main one. I just lost my temper and popped.”
“A man knows how to control himself, son. You have to learn how to be disciplined and exercise self-control. So what if they were laughing and talking; you should have walked off,” he said as he continued driving.
When he came to a red traffic light, he stopped and looked over at me. “Haven’t I told you countless times, son, that a man chooses his battles wisely?”
Uh, uh, here it comes. He’s getting ready to light into me. All that acting like he was cool must have been a front for Coach, but Pops wasn’t the kind of man to put on a front for the next man, or anybody for that matter, so I couldn’t tell what was going on. Yeah, he had told me that a man chooses his battles wisely, and as far as I was concerned today was a wise choice, at least I thought so. I had to stand up for myself or I could have spent the rest of the school year being bullied. I wasn’t going out like that. I nodded and kept on listening to Pops as he went on and on about how things could have turned out far worse and we could have been taken away from him, and blah, blah, blah.
I was glad when the light turned green and he started driving again. Pops still had a frown on his tan leathery face. Looking at him, he looked like he was turning into an old man, much older than his thirty something years.
Pops drove in silence, and this time he drove until he got to Airways and Democrat Road. I looked at the sign, Holiday Inn. Dang, not another night in this packed, cramped, freezing Yukon. I thought. He drove onto the hotel lot and like always, he parked where there were plenty of other cars. I knew the drill. If we parked where there were lots of other cars, we wouldn’t look so suspicious. We’d parked on hotel lots plenty of times before, but Pops made sure to choose which ones we parked at carefully. Me and Nyla especially liked the hotels that offered free breakfast because Pops would wake us up early, order us to get our toothbrushes and backpacks with a change of clothes and we would go inside the hotel like we were guests. We used the bathroom to clean ourselves up and then took off for the breakfast bar where we sometimes stayed until breakfast was over like we were regular hotel guests. I know it was probably wrong, but I almost always stuffed Danish and fruit in my backpack because there was no telling where our next meal would come from or when it would come. Pops knew what I was doing, and as much pride as he had, this was a time he didn’t fly off the handle about me taking what wasn’t mine. He knew the business and so did my sister because she did the same thing.
That night in the Yukon, I was freezing my butt off. It was the end of November, close to Thanksgiving. Me and Nyla huddled up together. She had her sleeping bag, so did I, along with the blankets that were supposed to keep us warm, they failed that test. Nyla disappeared inside her sleeping bag. She was little so she could do it like that, so what worked for her definitely didn’t work for me.
Pops asked if we were okay, and Nyla answered that she was all right. I told him I was too, when really I was miserable, cold, and just tired of everything that was happening to me and my family.
Before Pops stretched out, I watched him in the front seat as he took a swallow from a bottle of liquor he pulled out of another small brown paper bag. Before long, I heard him snoring. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I do remember I dreamed that we were living back in our house. Momz was there and she was cooking a huge Thanksgiving dinner, turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, potato salad, cakes, pies, all my favorite kinds of food. Whatever she cooked, it was always delicious. She could make a cold cut sandwich taste like something from a restaurant.
In my dream, Momz was laughing and talking while Nyla licked from a bowl of cake batter like she used to do when Momz was alive. Pops walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Momz’ waist, and kissed her on the jaw. She turned red. We sat down at the table; I picked up my fork after somebody in the dream gave thanks. I got a forkful of turkey and dressing on my plate, brought it up to my mouth and just like that…I woke up.
I looked around and it was real quiet, except for the sound of Pops crying. I didn’t move; I just listened. Don’t you remember, Pops? Men don’t cry. I turned over and closed my eyes, hoping to shut out the sound of Pops’ pain.