DONNA LOUISA’S Dressing-Room.
Enter ISAAC and MAID.
Maid. Sir, my mistress will wait on you presently.
[Goes to the door.]
Isaac. When she’s at leisure — don’t hurry her. — [Exit MAID.] — I wish I had ever practised a love-scene — I doubt I shall make a poor figure — I couldn’t be more afraid if I was going before the Inquisition. So, the door opens — yes, she’s coming — the very rustling of her silk has a disdainful sound.
Enter DUENNA dressed as DONNA LOUISA.
Now dar’n’t I look round, for the soul of me — her beauty will certainly strike me dumb if I do. I wish she’d speak first.
Duen. Sir, I attend your pleasure.
Isaac. [Aside.] So! the ice is broke, and a pretty civil beginning too! — [Aloud.] Hem! madam — miss — I’m all attention.
Duen. Nay, sir, ’tis I who should listen, and you propose.
Isaac. [Aside.] Egad, this isn’t so disdainful neither — I believe I may venture to look. No — I dar’n’t — one glance of those roguish sparklers would fix me again.
Duen. You seem thoughtful, sir. Let me persuade you to sit down.
Isaac. [Aside.] So, so; she mollifies apace — she’s struck with my figure! this attitude has had its effect.
Duen. Come, sir, here’s a chair.
Isaac. Madam, the greatness of your goodness overpowers me — that a lady so lovely should deign to turn her beauteous eyes on me so.
[She takes his hand, he turns and sees her.]
Duen. You seem surprised at my condescension.
Isaac. Why, yes, madam, I am a little surprised at it. — [Aside.] Zounds! this can never be Louisa — she’s as old as my mother!
Duen. But former prepossessions give way to my father’s commands.
Isaac. [Aside.] Her father! Yes, ’tis she then. — Lord, Lord; how blind some parents are!
Duen. Signor Isaac!
Isaac. [Aside.] Truly, the little damsel was right — she has rather a matronly air, indeed! ah! ’tis well my affections are fixed on her fortune, and not her person.
Duen. Signor, won’t you sit? [She sits.]
Isaac. Pardon me, madam, I have scarce recovered my astonishment at your condescension, madam. — [Aside.] She has the devil’s own dimples, to be sure!
Duen. I do not wonder, sir, that you are surprised at my affability — I own, signor, that I was vastly prepossessed against you, and, being teased by my father, I did give some encouragement to Antonio; but then, sir, you were described to me as quite a different person.
Isaac. Ay, and so you were to me, upon my soul, madam.
Duen. But when I saw you I was never more struck in my life.
Isaac. That was just my case, too, madam: I was struck all of a heap, for my part.
Duen. Well, sir, I see our misapprehension has been mutual — you expected to find me haughty and averse, and I was taught to believe you a little black, snub-nosed fellow, without person, manners, or address.
Isaac. [Aside.] Egad, I wish she had answered her picture as well!
Duen. But, sir, your air is noble — something so liberal in your carriage, with so penetrating an eye, and so bewitching a smile!
Isaac. [Aside.] Egad, now I look at her again, I don’t think she is so ugly!
Duen. So little like a Jew, and so much like a gentleman!
Isaac. [Aside.] Well, certainly, there is something pleasing in the tone of her voice.
Duen. You will pardon this breach of decorum in praising you thus, but my joy at being so agreeably deceived has given me such a flow of spirits!
Isaac. Oh, dear lady, may I thank those dear lips for this goodness? — [Kisses her.] [Aside.]Why she has a pretty sort of velvet down, that’s the truth on’t.
Duen. O sir, you have the most insinuating manner, but indeed you should get rid of that odious beard — one might as well kiss a hedgehog.
Isaac. [Aside.] Yes, ma’am, the razor wouldn’t be amiss — for either of us. — [Aloud.] Could you favour me with a song?
Duen. Willingly, though I’m rather hoarse — ahem![Begins to sing.]
Isaac. [Aside.] Very like a Virginia nightingale! — [Aloud.] Ma’am, I perceive you’re hoarse — I beg you will not distress ——
Duen. Oh, not in the least distressed. Now, sir.
SONG.
When a tender maid
Is first assay’d
By some admiring swain.
How her blushes rise
If she meet his eyes,
While he unfolds his pain!
If he takes her hand, she trembles quite!
Touch her lips, and she swoons outright!
While a pit-a-pat, &c.
Her heart avows her fright.
But in time appear
Fewer signs of fear;
The youth she boldly views:
If her hand he grasp,
Or her bosom clasp,
No mantling blush ensues!
Then to church well pleased the lovers move,
While her smiles her contentment prove;
And a pit-a-pat, &c. Her heart avows her love.
Isaac. Charming, ma’am! enchanting! and, truly, your notes put me in mind of one that’s very dear to me — a lady, indeed, whom you greatly resemble!
Duen. How I is there, then, another so dear to you?
Isaac. Oh, no, ma’am, you mistake; it was my mother I meant.
Duen. Come, sir, I see you are amazed and confounded at my condescension, and know not what to say.
Isaac. It is very true, indeed, ma’am; but it is a judgment, I look on it as a judgment on me, for delaying to urge the time when you’ll permit me to complete my happiness, by acquainting Don Jerome with your condescension.
Duen. Sir, I must frankly own to you, that I can never be yours with my father’s consent.
Isaac. Good lack! how so?
Duen. When my father, in his passion, swore he would never see me again till I acquiesced in his will, I also made a vow, that I would never take a husband from his hand; nothing shall make me break that oath: but if you have spirit and contrivance enough to carry me off without his knowledge, I’m yours.
Isaac. Hum!
Duen. Nay, sir, if you hesitate ——
Isaac. [Aside.] I’faith no bad whim this! — If I take her at her word, I shall secure her fortune, and avoid making any settlement in return; thus I shall not only cheat the lover, but the father too. Oh, cunning rogue, Isaac! ay, ay, let this little brain alone! Egad, I’ll take her in the mind!
Duen. Well, sir, what’s your determination?
Isaac. Madam, I was dumb only from rapture — I applaud your spirit, and joyfully close with your proposal; for which thus let me, on this lily hand, express my gratitude.
Duen. Well, sir, you must get my father’s consent to walk with me in the garden. But by no means inform him of my kindness to you.
Isaac. No, to be sure, that would spoil all: but, trust me when tricking is the word — let me alone for a piece of cunning; this very day you shall be out of his power.
Duen. Well, I leave the management of it all to you; I perceive plainly, sir, that you are not one that can be easily outwitted.
Isaac. Egad, you’re right, madam — you’re right, i’faith.
Re-enter MAID.
Maid. Here’s a gentleman at the door, who begs permission to speak with Signor Isaac.
Isaac. A friend of mine, ma’am, and a trusty friend — let him come in — [Exit MAID.] He’s one to be depended on, ma’am.
Enter DON CARLOS.
So coz. [Talks apart with DON CARLOS.]
Don Car. I have left Donna Clara at your lodgings, but can nowhere find Antonio.
Isaac. Well, I will search him out myself. Carlos, you rogue, I thrive, I prosper!
Don Car. Where is your mistress?
Isaac. There, you booby, there she stands.
Don Car. Why, she’s damned ugly!
Isaac. Hush! [Stops his mouth.]
Duen. What is your friend saying, signor?
Isaac. Oh, ma’am, he is expressing his raptures at such charms as he never saw before. Eh, Carlos?
Don Car. Ay, — such as I never saw before, indeed!
Duen. You are a very obliging gentleman. Well, Signor Isaac, I believe we had better part for the present. Remember our plan.
Isaac. Oh, ma’am, it is written in my heart, fixed as the image of those divine beauties. Adieu, idol of my soul! — yet once more permit me —— [Kisses her.]
Duen. Sweet, courteous sir, adieu!
Isaac. Your slave eternally! Come, Carlos, say something civil at taking leave.
Don Car. I’faith, Isaac, she is the hardest woman to compliment I ever saw; however, I’ll try something I had studied for the occasion.
SONG.
Ah! sure a pair was never seen
So justly form’d to meet by nature!
The youth excelling so in mien,
The maid in ev’ry grace of feature.
Oh, how happy are such lovers,
When kindred beauties each discovers;
For surely she Was made for thee,
And thou to bless this lovely creature!
So mild your looks, your children thence
Will early learn the task of duty —
The boys with all their father’s sense,
The girls with all their mother’s beauty!
Oh, how happy to inherit
At once such graces and such spirit!
Thus while you live
May fortune give
Each blessing equal to your merit! [Exeunt.]