Chapter 29

ZELDA WAS STANDING on the balcony of Michael’s apartment, idly watching the river flow by and listening to the late evening bird-song. The air was freshened by the invigorating scent of early summer and the music drifting from the hi-fi was suitably dreamy and filled with nostalgia. Closing her eyes, she let the rhythm steal over her, until the telephone sliced into the moment and hearing Michael go to answer it she turned to gaze downriver to Chelsea Harbour and the McCann Walsh offices.

‘Sorry about that,’ Michael said, joining her a few minutes later with two large gin and tonics. ‘It was Michelle calling to say good-night to Robbie.’

Zelda smiled and took her drink. ‘Did you wake him?’ she asked.

Michael shook his head. ‘He’s had a busy day over at Colleen’s with his cousins. He’s shattered.’

‘And Michelle? Where’s she?’

Michael waggled his eyebrows in a teasing fashion, then, taking a sip of his drink he said, ‘Michelle is at her sister’s, in Wales.’

Zelda screwed up her nose. ‘Wales?’ she repeated, turning to follow him inside. ‘I thought her sister lived in Spain.’

‘That’s the other sister,’ Michael reminded her. ‘There are three of them.’

Zelda nodded and sank into one of the sumptuous leather sofas. Evidence of Robbie was everywhere now, from the scattered toys over in his play area to the newly framed photographs on shelves and tables and all the childish drawings decorating the fridge. He’d shown her his bedroom himself, just after he and Daddy had finished doing it up together. He was so proud of it, with its Thomas the Tank Engine bunk beds, Winnie the Pooh and Power Rangers posters; his garage, his train set, his pedal car and big, shiny blue bike with stabilizers that he had assured Zelda he wasn’t going to need for very long. He had so many toys and books and puzzles and games that like a child at Christmas he hadn’t known which to play with first.

Though grateful for the incredible generosity of family, friends and even strangers, Michael and Michelle had tried hard to keep most of the gifts back, not wanting to overwhelm him, or to encourage him to become blasé, but as he was continually being asked what he thought of this action man or that drum set, they had given in and decided to let him be spoiled for a while.

Actually, Zelda reflected, he had settled in so well it was already becoming hard to remember a time when he wasn’t there and she only had to look at Michael to see what a difference the child had made to his father’s life. Gone was the guilt that had tormented him since the day Michelle left, gone too was the tension that had stolen a light from his eyes and an ease from his manner, which had been so much a part of him before. The real Michael was back, the man she had known and loved, laughed with, played with, taken risks with and triumphed with. His old energy was restored and it was so plain to see how much he was enjoying life now, and the pleasure he took in his son was so moving, that Zelda couldn’t have been happier were it happening to her.

‘What are you smiling at?’ Michael asked, lifting his feet on to the coffee table between them.

‘You,’ she answered, ‘and how relaxed you look these days, which, considering the unholy mess the agency is in, is no mean feat.’

Michael’s eyes narrowed humorously, but instead of answering, he merely took another sip of his drink.

Zelda waited, certain he would pick up the baton any minute, but he didn’t, so leaving him to get to it in his own time, she returned to the subject of his personal life, which he seemed more willing to discuss. ‘How come Michelle didn’t take Robbie to her sister’s?’ she asked. ‘I’d have thought his aunt was longing to meet him.’

‘She met him a couple of weeks ago, here in London,’ Michael answered. He paused for a moment, then added, ‘And Michelle thought it would be a good idea for Robbie and me to have some time without her.’

Zelda’s eyebrows rose. ‘Oh?’ she said. ‘Do I take it from that things aren’t going too well, or is it just a bit of male bonding you’re up to?’

Michael chuckled. ‘Actually, both,’ he replied.

Zelda pursed her lips and looked at him with her shrewd grey eyes.

‘Cavan’s gone to Wales with her,’ Michael said.

‘Oh, I see,’ Zelda responded. ‘Or do I?’

Michael grinned. ‘I think you do,’ he told her. ‘That is, inasmuch as any of us see anything right now. I guess the easiest way to sum it up, though, is that Michelle is going through a bit of a rough time trying to decide between me and Cavan.’

Zelda’s surprise was genuine. ‘But I thought …’ she began.

‘That we had it all sorted out,’ Michael supplied. ‘So did I. So did she, until we started living together and it hasn’t taken very long for us to discover that maybe we haven’t made the right decision. At least not for us.’

‘Och, dear,’ Zelda muttered. ‘And we all thought …’ Her eyes returned to Michael’s. ‘Has she left you?’ she said.

Michael laughed. ‘I don’t know that I’d put it quite like that,’ he answered.

‘But she’s gone to Wales with Cavan. Does she still love him?’

Michael shrugged. ‘I’m not sure even Michelle knows the answer to that,’ he replied, ‘which is why they’re spending this time together. They’ll stay a couple of days with Marianne, Michelle’s sister, then they’re taking a cottage somewhere, I believe. Actually, I should tell you at this point that having experienced first hand the kind of torture and abuse going on in the world, Cavan’s now hell bent on getting back out there to bring down as many Pedro Pastillanos as he can. Needless to say, this holds great appeal for Michelle.’

Zelda was regarding him closely, searching for any signs of how he might feel about that, but the humour in his eyes was impossible to get past. ‘I’ve got to say you seem very relaxed about it all,’ she said suspiciously.

Michael nodded and sucked in his bottom lip, as though considering her remark. ‘To a certain degree I am,’ he said eventually, ‘but that’s only because the problem is less mine than Michelle’s.’

Zelda waited for him to continue, knowing that at last she was about to learn the real reason he had invited her over tonight.

‘So she tells me,’ Michael said, cupping his drink in his lap and gazing absently out at the twilight, ‘she had a sudden blinding revelation when we were in Rio that she had to come back to me, that it was all she wanted and that though she loved Cavan, it wasn’t in the same way she loved me. She wanted us to be together as a family, me, her and Robbie, and she wanted, if I were willing, for us to try to love each other again. And, of course, for Robbie’s sake I was willing to give it a go. But we’re not even a couple of months along the road yet and already it’s pretty evident it’s not going to work. We’ve changed. We’re different people now and though I’ll always care for her, love her even, I just don’t feel the way I once did. And she senses it. She was the one who brought it up in fact, and I didn’t want to lie to her. So, whether she’s as torn between me and Cavan as she’s now claiming to be only she knows. It could be a kind of face-saver, which wouldn’t be very fair on Cavan, but would be human, and Cavan’s big enough to take care of himself. Or it could be that by confessing I didn’t feel the same way about her, I’ve now given her the freedom to do what she really wants. Except she genuinely is confused about that, because she doesn’t want to leave Robbie, nor does she want to take him away from me.’

Zelda’s eyes remained on his as she took a generous sip of her drink. ‘Mmm,’ she said, ‘a dilemma indeed, and one made harder if she really is intending to return to the field.’

‘I think she would like to, but she knows she can’t take Robbie again. It’s no life for a child and it’s time he was at a proper school with other kids his age. She’s not arguing that, obviously, but it’s going to be hard for her to let him go and I don’t want to force him to live with me if he’d rather be with his mother. At the moment, he’s happy to stay with me, but Michelle’s not very far away, they speak every day on the phone and I’m still a novelty for him. What it’s going to be like if she takes off for Africa, or India, or wherever’s next on her agenda, and the reality of Michelle not being there starts to set in … Well, it’s impossible to say how he’ll be.’

‘Have you discussed it with him?’ Zelda asked.

‘Not really. He’s too young to take it all in and besides, you’ve seen what he’s like, he’s flexible, totally independent, far too good-natured and will do whatever we tell him to do. Of course, he can be as naughty as sin when he wants to be and he’s got a wicked temper, but on the whole he’s a well-adjusted kid – which considering the way he’s grown up so far is pretty miraculous. But he seems so together at times that it would be easy to forget he’s just as vulnerable as any other boy his age.’

‘Vulnerable, yes,’ Zelda said, ‘but most kids are tougher than we give credit for, and as long as they’re loved and given all the proper care and attention it’s not going to matter much where they live. Africa and India wouldn’t be a good choice, however, at least not in the conditions Michelle would be in.’

‘Which is why we gave him the option of going to Wales with her,’ Michael said, ‘or staying here with me. It was a small test and not really that conclusive, but he didn’t even hesitate. Whether it’s going to be what he wants long term, though, we’ve yet to find out. For now, we’ve decided that he stays with me for a year, seeing Michelle and speaking to her as often as he can, after that we’ll review the situation. If he wants to go back with her, she’ll return to England and live with him here. If he wants to stay with me, obviously we’ll just carry on with the arrangements we’ll already have in place by then.’

Zelda inhaled deeply. ‘My, you have been working things through,’ she said, draining her glass. ‘And what would these arrangements be, presuming you’re intending to return to work one of these days?’

Smiling, Michael got to his feet and went to refill their glasses.

‘And what about Ellen?’ Zelda called after him. ‘Have you spoken to her? Or is that all over now?’

‘I will be returning to work,’ Michael said, coming back with fresh drinks, ‘but not just yet.’

Zelda shook her head in confusion. ‘I don’t understand,’ she told him, mentally noting that once again he’d managed to side-step the issue of Ellen. ‘You know what a mess everything’s in and it’s not going to get any better until you’re back on board.’

‘Have you seen anything of your new boss?’ he asked.

‘Not yet, but she’s sure to put in an appearance sooner or later. So what I want to hear now is that you’re going to fight for the agency and make damned sure that World Wide is wrested back from Sandy Paull’s and Ted Forgon’s control.’

Michael grimaced. ‘I have to confess,’ he said, ‘Sandy gives me less of a problem than Forgon, but both can be dealt with and once I’ve told you how and provided you agree, I’ll set up a meeting with Sandy …’ he grinned, ‘And give her the surprise of her life.’

Running to the door in a stylish turquoise blue suit, black lace body and four-inch black suede shoes, Sandy suddenly remembered all the pictures she’d seen of Michelle and how casual and understated she always looked. Feeling suddenly gaudy and obvious she almost went back to change, but she didn’t have the time. He had called at three this afternoon to invite her to dinner at a venue of her choosing and she hadn’t been able to get away from the office until gone seven. It was now twenty past eight and she had ten minutes to get to the restaurant, which she could make if she found a taxi straight away.

She was in luck and settling back for the five-minute journey she tried to get her nerves in some semblance of order. But she couldn’t. He had sounded so friendly on the phone, to the point of actually saying that he was looking forward to seeing her, that she just couldn’t keep herself calm through the onslaught of expectations and emotions that had plagued her ever since.

It was going to be the first time she’d seen him since the day he’d fired her, and when she considered what she’d done to his agency since and the way she had stitched him up with Ted Forgon and World Wide, she’d have to be some kind of fool if she was expecting him to sweep her up in his arms. But she couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call and the warmth in his voice. It had sounded so genuine and his pleasure on finding out she could make it at such short notice had seemed so sincere, that despite her efforts at caution her hopes were just soaring out of control. Actually, she might have better been able to temper them, were it not for the fact that just that morning she had read in the papers about his break-up with Michelle. Of course, it was only rumour at the moment, but when she’d called Jodi to find out if there was any truth in it, Jodi had said that all she knew was Michelle and Cavan were in Wales, and Michael and Robbie were in London.

Sandy gave a shiver of excitement as she considered what it might be like to be a stepmother. She’d never really thought much about kids before, but she was sure she’d get along well with Robbie; in fact, as he was Michael’s son she’d make sure she did.

A bolt of pure nerves hit her heart hard as the taxi came to a halt at the busy junction outside the restaurant. She’d chosen it in the hope that the press would pounce on the fact they were together and make as much out of it as she wanted them to. Indeed, it could well prove the first time their names were romantically linked, provided it all went the way she hoped, of course.

By the time she was greeted, shown to a discreet corner table and brought a much-needed glass of wine, she had managed to calm down a little. But then she looked across the restaurant and saw him coming in and the sensation that suddenly pressed down on her heart was so profound that she was unable to breathe. She had no idea what emotions might be shining in her eyes as she watched him follow the maître d’ towards her: all she knew was that the seeds of doubt Nesta had planted as to how she really felt about him were completely annihilated. She wanted him in a way that defied explanation; she felt linked to him, somehow destined to be with him, to share his life and his dreams, to be there for all his triumphs and tragedies, and be a part of them too. And it would happen, she knew that with the same certainty she knew that the sun would rise in the morning.

‘Hi,’ he said, smiling down at her as he reached their table, ‘I hope you haven’t been waiting long.’

Sandy shook her head and forced her voice through the congested emotion in her throat. ‘Just a few minutes,’ she said, watching him turn to the wine waiter to order a drink.

‘Are you OK?’ he said, looking across the table to see if she had an aperitif.

‘Fine, thanks,’ she said, glancing at the waiter, then returning her eyes to Michael, she felt her lips tremble as she smiled.

‘So how are you?’ he said. ‘You’re looking good.’

The laughter simmering in his eyes was disconcerting, but trying not to let it affect her she said, ‘Thank you. In fact, you look pretty good too.’

He grimaced, then said, ‘Zelda showed me an article about you – and your family – in last month’s Cosmopolitan.’ He laughed. ‘So now we know who you really are at last. Or at least, from whence you hail.’

Sandy screwed up her nose. ‘It’s nothing to be proud of,’ she told him.

‘Nothing to be ashamed of either,’ he responded.

She looked doubtful about that. ‘You should try living with them,’ she said. ‘Or getting the calls that keep coming now, asking for loans they have no intention, nor any means, of repaying.’

They looked up as a producer they both knew suddenly spotted them. ‘Hey, Michael! How are you?’ he said, grabbing Michael’s hand as Michael rose. ‘It’s good to see you. You look great, man. Fatherhood obviously agrees with you.’

‘It’s the best,’ Michael grinned. ‘And how’s life with you?’

‘Great. Just great,’ he responded warmly. ‘And Sandy! What a surprise seeing you two together. Terrific deal you pulled off for Emma Hodge, by the way, Sandy. She was telling me about it earlier. No question she’s right for the part, but boy, did you do well to screw that kind of money out of Carlton. Best thing she ever did was get you as an agent.’ He glanced awkwardly at Michael, clearly not sure whether he’d just put his foot in it or not. Michael’s expression was totally benign, which did nothing to ease the man’s discomfort. ‘Right, well, I won’t interrupt any longer,’ he said. ‘Great to see you guys. Enjoy your meal,’ and he went off to rejoin his table.

Still laughing, as he sat back down and his drink was delivered, Michael said, ‘Well, you certainly are the toast of the town these days, Sandy,’ and raising his glass he saluted her too. ‘Congratulations,’ he said, ‘you’re fast becoming a powerful woman and once you get World Wide underway you’re really going to be up there – not just nationally, but globally.’

Sandy was flushing and her glass was still firmly on the table. ‘Yes, well,’ she stumbled, not at all sure what she wanted to say.

Michael lowered his head and peered at her. ‘There’s no need to be shy about this,’ he told her, ‘we both know what’s going on here, so let’s have it all out in the open, why not?’

Sandy lifted her eyes to his and was more nonplussed than ever when she saw not even a trace of rancour in his smile. Then it suddenly hit her that maybe he was talking personally rather than professionally and a rush of nerves collided with her heart. ‘So how’s Robbie?’ she said, sensing this might be easier territory for the moment. ‘Is he settling in well?’

Michael rolled his eyes. ‘He’s a handful and to say he’s settled in would be an understatement. He’s taken over would be more accurate.’

Sandy smiled. ‘I’d like to meet him,’ she said and blushed as she realized how forward that must sound. ‘I mean, one of these days,’ she added shakily.

‘Oh, there’s no doubt you will,’ he assured her, picking up the menu. ‘Shall we order?’

As Sandy scanned all the deliciously exotic hors d’oeuvres and entrées, she was trying desperately to work out what was really going on. He sounded so sure she was going to meet Robbie, and he was showing such bewildering unconcern about her success and how she had clinched it, that she was actually daring to hope that all her faith in her dreams was about to pay off.

‘Well, I guess there’s no point beating around the bush any longer,’ he said, after placing their orders, ‘I’ve got a couple of proposals for you and the quicker we get to them the quicker we’re going to find out how workable they are.’

Sandy looked at him, her large blue-green eyes showing how apprehensive she was inside.

Michael smiled, as though to put her at her ease. ‘The first,’ he began, ‘is probably going to surprise you the least, though you won’t think that until I’ve told you the second, but anyway, here goes: I’m not going to start getting involved in everything that’s happened over the past eight months, it would be a wasted exercise and though you’ve certainly downsized us at McCann’s and created a lot of problems that are going to take some time to sort out, the wounds definitely aren’t fatal. It’s essentially mine and Zelda’s lists that give the agency it’s real value, which is how come you haven’t managed to destroy us altogether. So I’m going to put it to you now that instead of continuing this vendetta we join forces and turn our agencies into one.’

Sandy’s eyes started to dilate.

‘No, hear me out,’ he said as she seemed about to speak. ‘Obviously, if you’re agreeable, there are numerous ramifications to be considered, but to start the ball rolling on the simpler issues I’m happy to call the agency whatever you like, McCann Walsh and Sandy Paull, Sandy Paull and McCann Walsh – I don’t have an ego about these things, so it’s basically up to you. Obviously I’ve discussed it with Dan and Zelda, who are the other two major shareholders in McCann’s, and they both agree that combining what is left of our resources with those that are now available to you, would be an extremely wise route for us to take.’ He laughed, slightly self-consciously. ‘Of course, you’ll be wondering what’s in it for you and the answer to that is you will be a senior partner, along with me, in both McCann Walsh and World Wide Productions. In fact, Dan is willing to drop his name from the agency so we can call the company Sandy Paull and Michael McCann, or whichever way around, if that’s what you want; and considering that I will be concentrating much more on World Wide and the new productions coming in there, you will effectively be running one of the most prestigious agencies in London.’

Sandy’s mounting disbelief and euphoria were lighting up her eyes in a way that made her look even younger than her twenty-five years. Indeed, she felt like a child, one whom Santa had suddenly come to visit with all the desires that had built up throughout years of neglect. Her cheeks were turning crimson as she struggled to find the right answer – she didn’t want to gush, though God knew she felt like it, nor did she want to sound too cool or offhand.

‘I’ve spoken to Harry and Craig,’ he told her, ‘and they’re all for it too. So it just needs your agreement, then we can hand over to the lawyers.’

Sandy was confused. ‘You spoke to Harry and Craig?’ she repeated. ‘They never mentioned anything.’

‘Because I asked them not to,’ Michael smiled. Then, with a shrug he added, ‘OK, I confess I was sounding them out, checking to see if they thought you’d be interested. They thought you would be and quite frankly, with the way you’ve utilized the assets of other people’s indiscretions, turned me upside down and built yourself an agency of impressive reputation in such a short space of time, I can’t think of anyone I less want as an enemy, or would feel safer having as my partner. Why you’d want me is another matter, but you could do worse.’

As he grinned, Sandy felt her heart melting. ‘I’ve always wanted to be your partner,’ she told him softly, ‘but I never dreamt it would happen so soon – or this way.’ Then, laughing, she waved a dismissive hand at their drinks. ‘Where’s the champagne?’ she demanded. ‘We should be celebrating.’

Michael immediately raised his hand.

‘Oh God,’ Sandy said, pressing her hands to her cheeks, ‘I can hardly believe this. I mean, I was terrified you were going to come here this evening and … Well, I don’t know what I thought you would do. But after the way I took Harry and Craig and all their clients, and the best part of Diana’s and Janey’s lists too and then with tipping Ted Forgon off about World Wide so he could buy it out from under you …’ She stopped suddenly. ‘What about Ted Forgon?’ she said. ‘How is he going to take it, me joining up with you? I mean, he’s the head of World Wide now, he’s going to make the decisions on who runs it …’

Michael was smiling. ‘Believe me,’ he said, ‘all Ted Forgon wants is to be my boss, which he now is, so I don’t think he’ll give a damn who’s running the show on a daily basis over here in London. But if he wants to appoint you senior operative, then that’s OK by me.’

‘But I thought you wanted us to be partners?’

‘I do, so I suggest we cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime, we should set about putting all three companies, yours, mine and the London end of World Wide, under one roof. I would suggest the Chelsea Harbour offices, but maybe you’re finding it more convenient to be up in the West End.’

‘Convenient, yes,’ she agreed, ‘but there’s more space at Chelsea Harbour and now we’re going to be a much bigger concern, we’ll need to expand. Are those outrageously expensive offices beneath yours still to let? I’ll bet they are, with the rent they’re asking. Leave it to me, I’ll beat the price down and snap them up before anyone else gets in on the act.’

Michael was laughing. ‘Bring us a bottle of Dom Perignon,’ he told the waiter who had just materialized, ‘we’ve got some serious celebrating to get underway.’

Sandy watched the waiter go and felt her head starting to spin with excitement. It was beginning to feel as though she was coming apart from reality, drifting in some surreal, almost nirvanic state that was allowing her to see the people around her, and to hear them, but was somehow cushioning her from the noise and the harshness of colour. Her throat was tight and her heart was tripping in an odd, floaty kind of way. She felt humble, yet immodestly special as she realized how incredibly lucky she was, how charmed and blessed with good fortune. These past eighteen months, since she’d come to London, hadn’t always been easy, but there was no question now that dreams really did come true, if you held on to them long enough, for she’d always known that once she was in a position to meet him on his level he would want her.

Her eyes returned to his and as he continued to speak she could feel her smile starting to drain and a curious sensation nudging her heart. He was making his second proposal, but his words were suddenly sounding strange and her aura of happiness was melting away, as though she were slowly losing conciousness. She blinked and tried to reconnect with the euphoria of what he had told her, but it was as though the world had suddenly turned on its axis and was rotating another way. Perhaps this was what too much happiness did – or perhaps she was just too afraid to believe it was all coming true.

The champagne came, so did the food, but as the evening passed her shock and disbelief remained rooted in the moment when she had finally registered the full meaning of his second proposal.