Cass appears from a doorway to the right, shuffling down the long wooden hall. He has pulled on a collared shirt and appears to have brushed his hair, which is “short back and sides” in keeping with his bank Johnny job. I wonder if he is heading out or just wants to look good for the coppers. Or perhaps it’s the media he’s dressing up for because I can see a third van pull up outside, this one for radio station KZZ-FM. I think they need to reassess their motto “First with the local news!” Not today, bucko. Not by a long shot.
Chief has asked Cass if he can question him now, and Cass seems a little startled by this, which is quite silly of him. What did he think was going to happen? Did he honestly expect they would leave him alone to mourn the suspicious death of his ex-wife? The one he lives across the road from, within easy stabbing distance of?
They are both moving back inside, deep within the house, away from the media no doubt, but we can follow them in and I am thrilled by this, and not just because I can check out NagHag’s rather gaudy interior design (all golds and creams and let’s-pretend-we-don’t-have-a-muddy-son whites).
Okay, that may not be important, right now let’s focus on what the snivelling lowlife has to say for himself. Let’s see what kind of performance he puts on for the police.
I almost feel like I’m watching a really bad pantomime…
Scene 1: In the living room—midmorning
(Cass and Chief enter stage right)
Chief: “So you say you’ve been fast asleep since (pauses)… what time, exactly?”
Cass: (flustered) “Um, well, Brenny and the girls took off for soccer around…” (pauses) “Hun!” (silence) “Honey, you there?”
NagHag: (enters stage left) “Yes, sweetie?”
Cass: “What time did you clear out this morning with the girls?”
NagHag: “It was exactly 7.45 a.m. Had to be at the game by eight.”
(Cass turns back to Chief as if that answers that, but Chief seems too interested in Brenda and not for all the right reasons. He is admiring her long legs, which are now naked, well, if you don’t count the tiny denim shorts and killer wedges. Cass coughs, and Chief gives himself a shake.)
Damn you, Chief! I thought you were on my side!
Chief: “So what did you do after your wife and daughters left the premises?”
Cass: “Went back to sleep, of course.”
Chief: “And you did not wake up again until…”
Cass: “Brenny came running in and woke me. I had taken a—”
Chief: (interrupts) “Sleeping tablet, yes, so you said.” (pause for eye roll)
Okay, I made that bit up, but I bet he was eye rolling on the inside.
Chief: “So let me get this straight. You never saw your son this morning? Not until your wife woke you?”
Cass: “No, I said that. Lulu had Bob last night. She has him every Saturday night because she wants to wake him on Sunday. It’s their little ritual.”
I don’t like the way he said that word. Not one little bit. His tone sounds embittered. Did he begrudge me that?
Chief: “So there’s nowhere else your son would have been?”
Cass: “What? No, of course not.”
Chief: “And there was a birthday party yesterday, is that correct?”
Cass: “Well, there was a birthday. Bob turned thirteen, but there was no party. Lulu saw to that.”
Enough with the bitterness already! I was teaching him a lesson. It’s called moral fortitude, and you could do with some!
Chief: (refers to his notes) “Okay, so back to this morning. Let me see if I have this correct. There is no one who can vouch for your presence here, in bed, between 7.45 a.m. (checks notes again) and approximately 10.25 a.m. when your wife woke you? You were all alone?”
Cass: (flushes slightly) “I don’t like what you’re suggesting.”
I can’t say I blame him.
Chief: (frowning) “What exactly am I suggesting, sir?”
Cass: “You think I was with someone else at that hour, well you’ve got it all wrong. I wouldn’t sleep around on Brenda!”
Huh?
(Chief and NagHag share a frown.)
NagHag: (clears throat) “Er, Cassowary, I think what Detective Chasin was actually suggesting was that because you were fast asleep, alone, you have no alibi for your ex-wife’s murder.”
(pause so audience can gasp)
I have to take a moment to gasp as well. It sounds to me like Cass is happier to be accused of murder than adultery. Well, that’s gotta make you think, right?
Chief has ploughed on with another question, but Brenda’s eyes have narrowed and she clearly is having a think because I can now hear her say, “Oh dear Lulu, you were right. The bastard is screwing around.”
I’m not sure I ever actually said that and quite so colourfully, but if it makes her feel better… The point here is Brenda, too, has not spoken aloud. Her lips have not budged. They are wedged into a perfectly polite smile, but I know she is talking to me and she is not happy.
I wonder what Cass would say, knowing his wife is chatting subconsciously with his dead ex?
Cass is answering Chief now: “I last saw Lulu, I guess, yesterday. I stopped in for a cuppa at about…”
Yeah, yeah I know this bit. Cass stopped in, we chatted, yada yada. I’m more interested in Brenda’s thoughts. She’s working her way through a list of names, most of which I don’t recognise.
“Teresa Hollows? Nah, too old for the lying bastard. Connie Chambers? Hmmm, not quite pretty enough. Leslie Movary? She’d probably be up for it…”
Ah, hang on a minute, Brenda, I have a better name for you, and you’re not going to like it one little bit. She’s young(ish), she’s pretty, and I bet she’s gagging for it.
How about Jennifer Cloak?