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“What are you doing?” Hubcap yelled over the sound of the engines. “Are you seriously going to fly back to base with aliens locked in the cargo hold?”
Owen looked at him with a grin that was more than a little wild. “Saddle up!” was all he said before darting off to his seat, shouting directions to the pilot.
Hubcap stared at Elliot, caught between amazement and anger. Elliot’s tight-lipped expression said he didn’t like it either. Hubcap gestured impotently toward the aircar. “He can’t do that,” he said over the engines.
Elliot shook his head. “He shouldn’t. If these are intelligent natives, we could cause an incident by kidnapping them.”
Hubcap waved his arms. “Even with regular animals, it’s better to watch them in the wild. What kind of biologist is he?”
Elliot turned to watch the other humans piling onboard. “The kind who looks tempted to leave without us. We’d better hurry and sit down.”
Hubcap sputtered some more, but followed Elliot into the car. The rest of the crew did the same. Hubcap strapped into his seat with a worried glance at the door to the cargo hold. He wondered what was happening on the other side. Glaring at the back of Owen’s head did no good.
The ship took off gingerly, moving an inch at a time until they were well above the trees, then slowly gathering speed in the direction of the base. Owen was yelling for the driver to “floor it in a cautious manner,” and the world sped by below. Hubcap dug his metal fingers into the straps of his harness and waited, hoping with all his might that the creatures in the other room would be unharmed.
The ride took an excruciatingly long time. When the aircar finally entered the hangar, Hubcap was out of his harness and waiting at the cargo hold door for the moment they touched down.
As soon as the engines shut off, he opened the door and stepped in carefully, shutting it behind himself. He heard Elliot convincing Owen to give him a moment to calm the aliens down.
They were all curled into a communal ball of red and orange in the farthest corner, wedged between two packs of supplies. Raspy hyperventilating filled the air. Hubcap knelt on the floor and began talking gently. He babbled, saying words and phrases he had used on many a scared child over the years, then he switched back to birdsong in the hopes that they would find it familiar and soothing.
After a few moments, heads started to raise from the pile, with bright reds muting to yellows, and tense limbs relaxing. The breathing slowed, though it still sounded rough. Hubcap kept up his birdsong and his calm body language, and eventually the knot of sickly yellows dissolved into cool greens. The creatures began moving around the room, and Hubcap knew he had made progress.
Then the door opened with a bang.
The aliens scattered, darting from place to place in search of cover and finding none. One of the bigger ones flashed out the door in a streak of orange.
The humans exclaimed in surprise, and Hubcap gathered from the bang-scrape-thud that the outer door of the airship was still closed. Moments later the same alien rocketed back into the room and dove into the corner, where it was joined by others.
“Hey!” Hubcap snapped at the humans. “Hold still! You’re scaring them!” The workers did so, looking sheepish except for Owen, who was talking about the speed that the creature could put out. He sounded impressed.
“That was amazing,” Owen went on. “With legs that short, I would have expected them to be slower. Not great at stopping quickly, but—”
“And just what is your plan now?” Hubcap demanded. “We’re here and they’re terrified, and we still can’t talk to them to explain what’s happening.” He steamrolled over Owen’s words. “They had better not be in for hideously invasive science!”
Owen shook his head and made negating motions with his hands. “No, of course not. We want to learn from them, observe their behavior, and try to puzzle out this complex color language of theirs!” An incoming call beeped from the front of the car, and he left to answer it.
“You could have done that without the kidnapping!” Hubcap yelled after him. When he got no reply, he turned his back on the doorway. The aliens were all huddled in the corner again. Hubcap chirped more calming noises at them.
When Owen came back, it was with news that the other scientists who he had called from the air were waiting outside to meet the aliens. Hubcap inquired tersely about the plan, and learned that it had been thought through at least a little. There was a containment truck waiting at the door like an airlock, and a path was open to a room that had been prepared with all manner of things. The way Owen described it made the place sound like a playground with a viewport. It had been designed for scientific testing of some kind, but would now be the most important of guest accommodations.
“Guests who don’t want to be here,” Hubcap reminded Owen. “Prisoners. What are you going to do when the rest of them come after us for this?”
Owen waved a hand. “It’ll be fine. This will be a brief visit, I’m sure, and when we get the communications straightened out we can apologize as much as necessary.”
Hubcap angled his eyebrows into a stern frown. “You don’t have any experience with interspecies diplomacy, do you?”
“Nope!” Owen said. “I’m looking forward to it. See if you can get them moving, won’t you? Their luxury suite is ready and waiting.”
Elliot stood behind Owen. He met Hubcap’s eyes with a wince and a shrug, signaling that he didn’t like this either. Cameras appeared over his shoulders.
Hubcap sighed. “All right, everybody go away. I’ll see what I can do.”
The humans obeyed, edging backward but not fully out of sight.
A multitude of wide eyes regarded him from the cuddle-puddle of sharp colors. The aliens relaxed as the humans retreated and nothing startling happened. Trying every bit of pantomime that he could think of, Hubcap urged them to follow him. They conferred with each other silently, in swirls and spots, then the bravest one took the first step.
The group made its way gingerly past the rows of seats to the front door that opened straight into the back of the promised truck. All the humans had edged outside when Hubcap was still at the other end of the aircar, and now there was nowhere to go but forward onto the layer of blankets on the floor. Tiny portholes near the ceiling let light filter in, just enough to see by.
It took some encouraging, but Hubcap managed to get the aliens into the truck. Then, given no other choice, he shut the gate and settled down next to them.
The truck’s engine was thankfully quiet. The aliens crouched like cats hearing thunder, but they didn’t run. The truck moved forward.
This airlock procedure was repeated several times, finally ending at a large white room with blankets, pillows, food, and toys. Once the aliens were safely in, Owen waved from the hallway for Hubcap to leave them there.
The aliens were sniffing around curiously. Hubcap stepped through the door. Owen slid it shut, then gave Hubcap the briefest of thanks before prancing away to join a dozen other humans crammed into a side room where they could watch through the two-way mirror. Someone tall and official-looking gestured for Hubcap to move in the other direction.
Moments later, Hubcap found himself standing in a hallway with instructions to go find something else to do. There was a door closed in his face. He wasn’t quite sure how that had happened.
Elliot came jogging up with the camera team. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey, meatbag,” Hubcap said automatically, still in shock. “Apparently we’re not needed.”
“Yeah,” Elliot said as he came to a stop. “They unearthed their own hi-def video equipment.”
Vic strode past and tried to enter the room, but was brought up short by someone just inside. The two talked briefly and urgently before the door was shut on her too.
“Is that all we are in this?” Hubcap demanded, waving an arm. “Just here to document things and provide witty commentary?”
Elliot nodded. “And bait,” he said.
Frowning, Vic moved to talk to Graham.
Hubcap turned away. “I want to know what’s happening in there,” he said. “And they don’t seem willing to let us in.” He heard muttering and shuffling behind him. “Any ideas?”
“Every room has air ducts,” Vic said.
Hubcap perked up. “They do!” He turned to see her digging into a camera bag.
“Wait, won’t we get in trouble for that?” Dale asked, shifting his weight uneasily.
Vic showed her teeth in a fierce grin. “I was just told in clear terms that we can film anything we want as long as it doesn’t bother the new guests. And we can’t use that door.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder.
Hubcap pointed upward. “To the ventilation shafts!”
“Do I have to be the one to climb in?” Dale asked uneasily. “I keep telling you, Tarja can get into tight spaces better than me.”
Hubcap laughed heartily and put a hand on the young cameraman’s shoulder. “Do you expect to climb into the plumbing too, when there’s a problem in the pipes? These are way too small for a human.”
“Oh,” Dale said.
“No, they are built for something tiny, like...” Hubcap waved a hand in Vic’s direction. The director took her time in producing the item in question, spoiling Hubcap’s flourish. “Like ... that!”
The clear case held a miniscule hovercam and its control pad. Vic handed it to Graham, who was the most experienced with the delicate controls.
“Right,” Dale said. “Of course.”
Hubcap clapped him on the back. “Let’s go find an air vent!”
––––––––
Some minutes later, Hubcap was up near the ceiling, complaining good-naturedly while he unscrewed a vent cover. “‘Let the robot do it,’” he whispered from his position stretched across the narrow hallway. His feet were braced on a doorframe and his free hand pressed against the wall next to the vent. He knew full well that none of the humans were quite up to this, but that didn’t stop him from mocking them in his most nasal tone. “‘We are all weak, and we suck at climbing, despite our monkey ancestry,’” he continued. “‘The robot is better at everything, so he should do all the work.’” Hubcap paused to point down at Elliot and the others. “You all stink.”
“Nonsense,” Elliot replied. “We’ve showered recently enough.”
“So you say,” Hubcap bantered back. “It may have been recent, but it was not recently enough. I can pick up your fleshy scents from here.”
“Of course you can.” Elliot was smiling.
“Oh, I can; don’t you doubt me!” Hubcap waved his hand in front of his face as if to waft scents into his nostril sensors. “You used peppermint toothpaste this morning, and had overripe bananas for breakfast.”
“That’s the only kind of toothpaste I own, and you were there for breakfast,” Elliot countered. “Back to work with you.”
“Bah,” Hubcap said, picking up where he’d left off. It didn’t take long to remove the screws. Soon the cover was hanging from one corner with the screwdriver and other screws resting just inside. Hubcap gestured for silence and held out a hand for the hovercam. Elliot handed it up to him with an anxious glance along the hallway. Vic and Tarja were stationed at either end to watch for anyone coming. So far, so good. This hall was not a heavily traveled one, and it led right behind the room they wanted to see into. Thankfully, the chamber full of humans was on the far side. With luck and a little stealth, no one would hear them.
The rest of the camera placement went off without a hitch. Hubcap gingerly pushed the hovercam into the vent, then waited while Graham thumbed the on switch. The cameraman manipulated the controls to lift the tiny camera with an equally tiny hover engine. Elliot and Dale watched the viewscreen over Graham’s shoulder as the machine edged its way forward.
Hubcap put the cover back in place, then jumped down to land silently on the linoleum floor. “How’s it going?” he whispered.
“Good,” Elliot told him. “Looks like we’re almost there.”
On the viewscreen, the shaft took a sharp turn before opening up. Everyone huddled close while Graham parked the hovercam against the grate, angled down so the whole room was in focus.
It was a good view. Hubcap was relieved to see that the aliens still appeared to be fine. They wandered about touching pillows, lifting blankets, poking food items, and inspecting the surprisingly large collection of toys. Narrow mirrors lined the far wall. Hubcap knew that the hovercam could focus to peek into that area too if they wanted, but they didn’t. This main room was the one to watch.
“Let’s get out of sight,” Vic said. She opened the door across the hall that Hubcap had been standing over, which led to an unused conference room. Vic had scouted it out earlier, and now showed the wisdom of her choice by locking the door behind them.
“They’ve definitely calmed down,” Graham said. He set down the viewscreen on the oval table. “Nice and relaxed.”
Hubcap pushed forward to see for himself. The colorful aliens did seem to be settling in. Their patterns were less sharp, and their motions were calm.
“They haven’t really touched the food,” Elliot observed.
“Oh, they’ve touched it all right,” Hubcap corrected him. “But more with their hands than with their mouths.”
Elliot nodded. “That is some nice fingerpainting they’ve got going on there.”
Hubcap put the screwdriver he was still holding back into Vic’s camera bag. Then he made himself comfortable in a seat close to the viewscreen, and the humans pulled up chairs around him.
They filmed the screen for a bit, then simply watched the aliens for the rest of the evening. The only time anyone left was when Tarja went to bring back food, and Vic called to update the showrunner with Elliot tagging along.
They returned with the news that the bosses were pleased.
Vic grinned with all her teeth. “Ms. Kaleel said some very nice things about us. I don’t think I’ve seen her as happy as when I told her we had live aliens under observation. She’s a little concerned about the methods, but very pleased with the results.”
Elliot laughed. “Apparently the news broke today to the world at large that there’s been a new First Contact. And we just called her up with ‘Hey boss, we’ve got some of those aliens you wanted.’ This is the scoop of the century.”
Hubcap punched a fist into the air. “Suck it, Space Fashion!”
“Yeah, our ratings will blow theirs out of the sky!” Elliot laughed, repeating the gesture. “Even if Owen does cause an incident, we’ll be here to document it, and there’s no way fashion models can beat that for ratings.”
Hubcap was all in favor of keeping a close eye on the proceedings, ratings or no ratings. But it was a huge relief to not have to worry about losing the show anymore.
The TV crew celebrated quietly, aware of the thin door while they clapped each other on the backs and speculated about the future. They stayed up late in that little room, watching the aliens and talking. The humans eventually got tired and left for bed one by one. It was late indeed when Elliot left.
“See you in the morning,” he said to Hubcap. “For a brand new day and some aliens to learn to talk to.”
“Yes,” Hubcap said. “I will teach them poetry and all the best swear words.”
“I bet you will,” Elliot said. “Goodnight.” He shut the door, leaving Hubcap alone with the view screen.
The robot kept up a lonely vigil well into the wee hours of the morning, finally turning the screen off when the aliens had long been asleep on their many pillows and blankets. He retrieved the hovercam with no one the wiser. After stowing the equipment in an unremarkable camera case, he strolled off toward the sleeping quarters with thoughts of trying a manual mission debriefing like Sera had suggested.
His step was light. Things were finally looking up.