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“What causes frenzy? What?” Elliot looked around madly, and the rest of the crew were doing the same. Except for Ms. Acosta.
“Shut your mouths and face front!” she bellowed, startling the workers into silence. “Are you children? Come on, march.” She snapped the translator shut and stalked forward. The others followed, still nervous but much chastened.
The humans were, at any rate. Hubcap was quietly delighted. “You should have seen your faces just now!” the robot whispered. “Like a rabbit looking out for house cats, then hearing a lion! You just about wet yourselves!”
“Yeah, thanks,” Elliot said. “That makes it all better.”
“Oh, that was great!” the robot continued, audible to everyone. He turned to the videographers. “Tell me one of you got the expressions on film!”
The camera crew said nothing, still filming as they walked.
“Nobody? Were you all filming the air?”
“I might have been focusing on not wetting myself,” Graham said, to which Hubcap guffawed.
The robot kept up his mockery all the way to the aircar. Elliot was a little surprised that Ms. Acosta didn’t say to knock it off, then it occurred to him that Hubcap’s teasing was doing more to keep people’s minds off panic than a silent walk would have.
“Everybody in,” Ms. Acosta said when they arrived at the aircar. “There’s not enough daylight left to justify staying out today.”
The crew obediently trooped onboard and buckled in. Soon the aircar was rising above the trees to turn toward the distant base.
“Wow, is this the first time we’ve left this place without at least one of you meatlings unconscious?” Hubcap asked with a gaping smile.
Elliot rapped his knuckles on the robot’s temple. “Shut it; you’ll jinx us.”
Hubcap spent the rest of the trip making fun of his co-host for his superstitions, and Elliot saw the other people in the car cracking smiles. Even Vic smirked, and she was going to have to explain the day’s adventures to her superiors back on Earth. It would be a long conversation.
––––––––
The next morning Elliot went down to breakfast early in the hopes of finding out who was in charge now, and what that would mean for the TV crew. The cafeteria held only a few early risers. He spotted Hubcap satisfying his biodiesel needs with a jug of kitchen oil, courtesy of Ted the cook who was eating his own breakfast. Elliot gathered a selection from the buffet and joined them. “Morning,” he said as he sat down.
Ted waved a hand in reply, his mouth full of food. Hubcap agreed that it was indeed morning. He didn’t need to chew his own meal, only pausing in pouring the oil down his gullet. Elliot had found this offputting when they’d first met, but it was normal now. He was mildly surprised that Ted didn’t mind watching someone chug skillet grease, though.
“Any word on the changes to the command structure around here?” Elliot asked, digging into a bowl of cereal.
Ted had plenty to say. “The CEOs are in charge now, not the folks who actually know how things work,” he said over a mouthful of toast. “They’re all about the big historical whoop-de-do that the aliens represent, and the little stuff can go hang. So they’re not paying attention to the day to day operations, and those of us who know what’s important here have to make sure that it all gets done. Either that or they’re paying too much attention, like the group that’s muscling in on Sera’s science lab.”
Elliot stared at a banana without seeing it. “That’s ... not great to hear.”
Ted swallowed a mouthful. “True enough. But all we can do is complain about it.” He gestured to a meat dish that Elliot hadn’t tasted yet. “Try that; I killed it myself.”
Hubcap set the jug aside. “Graduated from tubers to livestock, have you?” he said, beginning to stack coffee creamers. “Congratulations.”
Elliot looked down at the orange-tinged slices of meat. “What is it?” he asked. “The buffet sign wasn’t clear.”
Ted forked a piece and stuffed it in his own mouth. “Gopher.”
Whatever expression Elliot was wearing must have been a good one, since it sent the cook into gales of laughter.
“It isn’t really, is it?” Elliot asked. “It’s chicken and you’re messing with me.”
Ted shook his head, still laughing. “No, it’s supergopher all right! We figured a way of cooking them that makes the meat taste pretty decent.”
“The question is,” Hubcap said, pointing with a straw. “Does it cause an unholy torrent of pooping?”
“Not so far!” Ted said. “Seriously, we’ve done tests and everything,. I’s safe to eat. Tastes a little weird, but I’ve had worse.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Elliot decided, eating the banana and turning down repeated offers of exotic gopher flesh. “No thanks, I’m good. Ready to go figure out what we’re expected to do today.”
“Probably nothing, I’d guess,” Ted said. “You can always help me in the kitchen again. I’ll be washing some very exciting dishes.”
“Really?” Elliot asked.
“No. Lordy, you’re gullible today.”
“Anyways,” Elliot said with a glance skyward. “I’m going to try to find Owen and see how things stand.”
“Oh, he went out early this morning,” Ted said, standing and gathering plates. “With a carload of uppity types and fancy cameras. Sounds like he gets to play tour guide to the lot of ‘em, and I don’t envy him one bit.”
“Well, dang,” Elliot said, at a loss. “I got up before everybody just so I could talk to him. The rest of the crew is still sleeping.”
“Yeah, sucks all around,” Ted agreed. “But I’ve got to get to work. See you at lunch.”
“Bye.”
“Enjoy the exciting dishes,” Hubcap put in.
“Oh, I will!” With a nod, Ted moved off towards the kitchen.
Elliot turned his attention toward Hubcap, who had constructed an elaborate structure out of cups, straws, and spare silverware. He was now adding a flag to the highest tower, made of a twist of napkin.
“Very nice,” Elliot said.
“Thank you. I call it ‘Chateau De Sporkworth the Third.’”
“And is it now going to suffer an attack by a gigantic sea monster?” Elliot asked. He’d seen Hubcap play with tableware before.
“No, I think I will leave this one standing, as a testament to the ages. And an entertainment for the kitchen crew.” The robot leaned back in his chair. “At any rate, last time they made me clean it up.”
“And that would never do,” Elliot agreed, leaning on an elbow. He looked away, then back. “What are we going to do now?” he asked quietly. “I suppose we can find some random task to film around the base, but that’s hardly the point.”
“No,” Hubcap agreed. “It is not.”
“It’s obvious that the aliens know something important about the frenzy. That one acted like it could see things coming after us! But—”
“But if we can’t get out there to talk to them, we won’t find out what it is,” Hubcap responded in a flat tone. “And it’s possible that these new idiots will unravel the mystery, but I doubt it.”
“Well, they do have that new kind of translator,” Elliot said. “They should be able to talk to the first alien they meet.”
“That’s assuming there will be an alien for them to find.” Hubcap gave him a sharp look.
“You mean the air-breathers are dying out? That one did say they only live a day. And he doubted that many more would emerge.” Elliot considered. “Well, there’s the ones in the water. They should still be around.”
“And of no use to us,” Hubcap said fiercely.
Elliot looked up. “What? Why?”
The robot frowned back at him. “I checked up on those new translators while you were asleep. They’re experimental things that work on brainwaves, but can only sense them through the air.”
Elliot stared. “So if the air-breathers all die, there’s no one we can talk to who’ll tell us what’s going on with the frenzy.”
“Correct.” The robot turned back to his creation. “And the frenzy seems to be getting worse.” He lined up one metal finger with a fork at the bottom of the tower. “If we don’t figure this out, it may kill all of you.” His face showed no emotion. “Gods. Damn. It.”
His finger snapped forward, sending the fork to ricochet off a wall with a piercing clang. People exclaimed and looked over as the architectural wonder collapsed into a mess of scattered cutlery.
The robot stood without a word and strode out of the room.
Elliot looked at his retreating back, then at the staring crowd. Whispering apologies into the silence, he hurried after his friend, tense with concern.