thirty-three

Josh Eikenberry threw the mask onto the counter and smiled, but his hazel eyes were chips of jade. He was alive?

Son lifted his head and squinted. “You look like a tranny,” he said.

“Nice to see you, too,” Josh said in his best “greet the mourners” voice.

“Why aren’t you paralyzed?” I asked.

“Cured by Jesus.” Josh stepped around the counter. He wore black pants, a long-sleeved black shirt, and hiking boots.

“He never was paralyzed,” Dot said.

“That’s a lie,” Josh said. “I was, too.”

“Just for two weeks.” She turned to me. “He had spinal edema—fluid was pressing on the nerves. When the swelling went down, he was fine.”

“It was the worst two weeks of my life, not counting this one.” Josh sighed.

“I’ll put you on my prayer list,” Dot said.

“But I don’t understand.” I frowned at Josh. “If you weren’t paralyzed, why were you in a wheelchair?”

“It’s the perfect alibi,” he said. “Nobody would suspect a guy in a chair. And nobody did. Not until Barb ruined everything.”

“He also liked the way women fussed over him,” Dot said. “Especially Barb.”

Josh blushed.

Dot turned to me. “They were lovers. She wanted to punish Lester for his affair. That’s why she left the business. I thought she’d come to her senses, but she had other ideas. She was going to dump her little girl on you and Coop, then she was going to leave the country.”

My stomach pitched. Cayman Islands. Lockbox.

“Thanks to her, I’ve lost everything,” Josh said. “There’s a whole bunch of places that don’t have extradition treaties with the United States, but they’re all third world toilets. How will I ever find a decent home in Rwanda?”

“The police think you got burned up with acid,” I said.

“No, that was Norris.”

“Did you put a cooler of eyeballs in his car?” I asked in a shaking voice.

“I did that,” Dot said. “He had it coming. He pinched my butt one time.”

“But I thought Norris was slicing off corneas?” I said.

Josh snorted. “You crazy? We had a crew working for us.”

I blinked. “Then who was at the Savannah Airport?”

“Nobody,” Josh said. “Dot phoned the police with an anonymous tip.”

“All this lying is making me thirsty.” She pulled two beers from the fridge and handed one to Josh.

“Nothing like an ice cold Coors on a hot Georgia night.” He slurped up the foam. “Hey, I got a new joke. What’s red and bubbly? A granny in a microwave.”

“You’ve told that one before,” Dot said.

“I got a joke,” Son said. “What’s worse than a hundred undertakers in a trash can?”

I perked up. “One undertaker in a hundred trash cans,” I said.

“That’s lame.” Josh turned to Dot. “They’re too lucid. What’d you give them?”

“Pure grain alcohol, Coumadin, and Sonata. And, just for shits, a tiny bit of Rohypnol.”

“Sonata’s too weak.” Josh swung an imaginary golf club.

“It worked on Kendall.”

“Yeah, but you threw in a shitload of PGA. Besides, the drugs will show up in their blood.”

“If their blood is found.” Dot smiled and took a dainty sip of beer. “But we won’t let that happen this time.”

“You put Coumadin in our drinks?” Son cried. “You gave us blood thinner?”

“I hated to,” Dot said. “It makes dismemberment so messy. But I’m just covering my ass if y’all escape.”

“They won’t.” Josh pulled a .38 from his jacket.

I dug my fingernails into the rope and willed myself not to react.

“Put that damn gun away.” Dot set down her beer. “I’m using a Taser. It’s cleaner and quieter.”

Josh’s upper eyelid jerked, as if pulled by fishing line. “But I want to shoot Son,” he said. “He’s such an asshole.”

“Quit whining,” Dot said. “We’re going to do things my way from now on. I told you not to pull that cremation stunt. And look what happened. You should’ve embalmed Kendall. But no, you had to get creative. Vlado couldn’t follow instructions, either.”

“But he was a psycho.” Josh shrugged.

“He was stupid, and so are you,” Dot said. “Maybe I should get you a shock collar. Every time you screw up, I’ll give you a jolt. Then you’ll learn from your mistakes.”

His cheeks reddened, but he slid the .38 into his pocket.

I glanced at Son. He seemed to be dozing again.

Dot opened a drawer and pulled out a Taser. “I’ve got concrete blocks in the garage. Chains and rope are there, too. Open the garage door and put everything in Son’s Jaguar. The keys are on the counter.”

“Why am I doing all the work?” Josh’s hand stole back to his pocket.

“Let’s get them to the lab, okay?” Dot said.

“Anything else, your majesty?” Josh said.

“Don’t screw up this time.”

Josh left. Dot forced me to drink another margarita. The liquid pooled in the back of my throat. “Drink up, Teeny You don’t want to be awake when Josh gets a hold of you.”

I swallowed. “What’s he going to do to me?”

“Yucky stuff. You’ll need another margarita, trust me.” She untied me and walked to the kitchen. All I had to do was bolt from the chair and run off into the night. I gripped the edge of the table and hoisted myself to my feet.

“Oh, for the love of Jesus.” Dot crossed the floor in four steps and tasered my arm.

A ripple tore through my body. I stiffened and fell to the floor. I tried to get up, but my arms wouldn’t move. I couldn’t get a deep breath. Yet I could hear everything. And I could feel the tarantula moving in my pocket. Thank goodness it hadn’t been tased.

Son’s disembodied voice swirled above me. “Where’d Teeny go?”

“Teeny who?” Dot laughed. “It’s a shame I have to kill you, Son. ’Cause I always had a little crush on you.”

A pins-and-knives sensation shot through my hands and feet. I groaned. “God sees the sparrow,” I croaked. “And He’ll see you.”

“God needs new corneas,” Dot said.

“You won’t get away with this.”

“Yes, I will. The police will think you and Son ran off together.”

“I’m not ready to die.” I tried to lift my arm, but it was stuck to the floor.

“No one is,” she said. “Only the strong and the determined survive.”

I felt a tear skid down my cheek. I couldn’t die without seeing Coop one more time.

Josh strode into the room, pulling on plastic surgical gloves. “I wish you’d let me put a bullet in Son’s brain.”

“I forbid you to leave forensic evidence in my kitchen,” Dot said. “Besides, he’s not going anywhere.”

I flexed my fingers. “You don’t have to kill Son. He hasn’t done anything to you.”

Dot squatted beside him and lifted his chin. His eyelids fluttered and went still.

“He’s mighty cute,” she said. “But the moment you told him about Kendall, he started poking in medical records. If he kept poking, he’d cause me trouble. Just think, I wouldn’t have to kill either one of you if Barb hadn’t tried to quit my gang. It’s all her fault.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She moved to Sullivan’s Island to get away from me,” Dot said. “I gave her a thousand chances to come back to Georgia. But she had other plans. So I came to her house and choked her.”

I blinked. Was she saying that Josh hadn’t worn that mask? “But you weren’t there.”

“Of course I was. I dressed up like a guy and wore that mask.”

“That was you? How did you get a key to her house?”

“Josh got the key from Barb’s rental agent. He pretended to be Lester. Told the woman he needed an extra key.”

“The police will find that woman and talk to her.”

“No, they won’t. I sent Vlado to kill her. He made it look like a heart attack. So she won’t be telling the police anything.”

Tears spilled down my cheeks.

“Don’t cry for somebody you never met.”

“But why did you kill Barb?” My voice was barely a whisper.

“I told you. Because she quit the business. We couldn’t let her walk away. She knew too much. But she was so good at what she did. So we didn’t murder her right away. We negotiated. Offered her a bigger cut. But she wanted Coop—she never stopped loving him.” Dot shrugged.

“You should’ve let her go,” I said.

“She was a liability. I had to kill her. Josh didn’t have the stomach for it. So I went to Sullivan’s Island. But you weren’t supposed to be there. You sure can run fast for a short person. If I’d caught you that night, you’d be dead.”

I flinched.

“After I chased you, I went back to Barb’s house. She’d regained consciousness and was packing her suitcase. I bashed her in the head with a cast-iron skillet. Then I finished packing her suitcase. I cleaned up the broken lamp and put Barb in the trunk of her car and I left.”

“What if Emerson had seen you?”

“I would have killed her, too. I pulled off at a rest stop and strangled Barb. Then I headed to Sweeney. Josh and Vlado met me at the Motel 6. I put on a wig and checked in. Then we hung Barb from the shower rod. I left a note. Vlado put out pills and an empty wine bottle.”

“I never dreamed it was you.” I shook my head a little, trying to put it all together. Yes, Dot was tall and angular. Put a mask on her, and she could pass for a guy.

“Oh, buggar-bear, I couldn’t be sure what you saw.” Dot got in my face. “Then you came to Bonaventure. Josh has always hated you. He voted to kill you, but I talked him out of it. You know why? Because you were my friend. I really liked you, Teeny. So I got Vlado to put on a long blond wig and break into your house.”

“Why?”

“To shake you up. To make you run back to Charleston. But you didn’t.”

“The icing on my gown was a nice touch.”

“I thought you’d get a kick out of it.”

“So were the gardenias.”

“They came out of my backyard.”

“You don’t have to kill Son.”

“Josh would be so disappointed.” She smiled.

I began shaking all over. Son was going to die because of me.

“Poor Teeny. You look heartbroken. There’s nothing you could have done to save yourself. I was just biding my time. Getting everything set up. I lured you to the Tartan Hair Pub so you’d have straight hair. That way, it would be harder to identify your desecrated corpse. That’s why I didn’t come to your house and kill you.”

Dot shoved the Taser into her pocket and untied Son. “Josh, stop picking your nose and help me get Dr. Love in the car.”

Son’s legs wobbled as they lifted him from the chair and guided him out the kitchen door. Night air streamed in, carrying their voices. They were arguing about who to harvest first, me or Son.

I grabbed a chair leg and pulled up. Where did she keep the phone? I had to call 911. I tried to stand, but my legs buckled and I hit the floor.

Okay, Teeny. Deep breath. I rubbed my thigh, trying to get the circulation going, but it didn’t seem to help. How long before I could walk? I saw a portable phone on the desk and crawled toward it, my hair swinging forward. My brain felt muddy.

Focus, Teeny.

I grabbed the desk chair and pulled up, my arms trembling. I heard a shuffling noise and twisted around. Dot stood in the kitchen doorway, her hands jammed on her hips. Josh was right behind her. I expected her to pull out the Taser, but she just snorted.

“I’ll get her,” Josh said. He pulled me away from the chair and hoisted me into his arms.

Dot stepped over to the counter. She opened my purse and grabbed my keys. ‘I’ll pull her truck around. Meet me in the driveway.”

Josh’s clothes gave off the harsh bite of sulfuric acid. Just like the devil would smell. As he carried me outside, I repressed an urge to pinch my nostrils.

“You’re such a bitch, Teeny,” he said.

“A crazy bitch,” I agreed.

“A piece of trash.”

“A human Hefty bag.”

“You got laid by every boy but me.”

I didn’t bother to correct him. I was fighting for my life, not my honor. Over his shoulder, lightning scratched across the sky. A rainstorm was coming, but I wouldn’t live to see it.

A garden hose lay across the pavement like a serpent. Josh stepped over it and turned toward the pebble driveway. He set me on my feet. My legs buckled and pushed me against the house.

“You want it,” he said, unbuckling his belt.

Oh, god, no.

“I’m turning you on,” he said. His lips parted, and he leaned in to kiss me.

I gagged. He kissed the same way he had in high school—mouth overflowing with saliva, teeth banging against mine. I tried to rack him, but my knee wouldn’t bend.

He broke the kiss and tweaked my nipple. I squirmed away. His hand slid under my dress, beneath the pocket where the tarantula lay. I twitched all over, whether from the Taser or fear, I didn’t know. But I couldn’t stop.

“You’re shaking like a bed in a cheap motel,” he said. “Magic Fingers.”

“And you didn’t have to pay a quarter.” Damn, why had I said that?

He kissed me again. No, stop. You mustn’t. For the love of God, stop. But His eye was on the sparrow, not Teeny Templeton. It was up to me to handle this.

I dragged my mouth away. “I’m riddled with diseases,” I shouted.

“Beg for it. Come on, Teeny. Beg.”

My heart stuttered. Then I heard the whinny of Aunt Bluette’s engine. Headlights swept over Josh and me. He let me go. I slid down the bricks, wincing as they scratched my shoulders.

Dot got out of the truck, her cockatoo hair bouncing, and opened the Jag’s rear door. “Save it, Romeo,” she said. “Bring her over here.”

Josh hoisted me over his shoulder and dumped me into the backseat. Son was up front, his head tipped forward. Was he dead?

“Son?” I shouted. “Can you hear me?”

He groaned.

“Pay attention to me.” Josh squeezed my breasts.

I opened my mouth to scream. Instead, I vomited. Frothy lumps hit his face, stinking of tequila. He slapped my ear hard, and I went flying across the seat. The back of my head banged against the other door.

Dot pulled him out of the car. “Don’t hit her. The tissue bank won’t accept bruised skin.”

Josh swiped his hand over his face. “She puked on me.”

She shoved him toward the house. “Turn on the faucet and clean up.”

She climbed into the backseat and shone a penlight in my face. “Good, he didn’t break the skin.”

I put up my hand, blocking the glare. “How did you get mixed up in black market organs?”

She aimed the penlight at her palm; her flesh turned red and iridescent. “I used to work for a tissue bank. I flew around the country visiting hospitals. My job was to find skin donors. I could buy a whole cadaver for $6,000. But two corneas sell for $15,000. Bones in a spinal column sell for $1000. Big money in spare parts. I came back to Bonaventure and had a little chat with Josh.”

“Why him?”

“The best chop shops need a crooked funeral home director. And Josh isn’t exactly a saint. He was still in a wheelchair, but I found out that he was faking it.”

“How did you know?”

“I saw mud on his shoes.”

“So you blackmailed him?”

“Heavens no. I seduced him. Then I confronted him. I had him wrapped around my little toe. He liked the idea of making money, but he wanted to be paralyzed for a while longer—it was the first time in his life that people treated him nice. We made a great team.”

“Who else is working for you?” I asked.

“No one you’d know.” She pinched my cheek. “Your skin is soft as a peach.”

I jerked away. “Why didn’t you put Kendall’s body in the lake?”

“Vlado deviated from the plan.” She looped the chain around my ankle. “You’ve done nothing with your life, Teeny. Now you have a chance to help many people with your spare parts. I wish I could say the same for your bulldog. We’re just going to shoot him.”

I raised up. “No, leave him alone.”

She pushed me down. “Coop will wonder why you left that stupid dog. That makes Sir a loose end.”

My vision blurred. “You can kill me, but you’ll still be crazy.”

“And rich.” She yanked off my necklace and slid Minnie’s ring on her finger. “A perfect fit.”

“If you get near Coop, I’ll haunt your ass.”

“Normally I like three in a bed. But not this time. Coop only has eyes for you.” Dot tweaked my nose. “Or should I say had? He’ll get over you. And he’ll marry a pretty brunette and have children. Won’t that be nice?”

She scooted out of the backseat and hollered at Josh. He stepped out of the shadows, the front of his shirt damp and transparent, showing a sunken-in chest.

“Drive straight to the lab,” she said. “I’ll be right behind you in Teeny’s junker.”

“What about Son’s car?” Josh waved at the Jaguar.

“I’ve taken care of everything. A guy is waiting at the old sawmill with an eighteen-wheeler. The vehicles will be halfway to Mexico by tomorrow.” Dot got in Josh’s face. They were the same height, tall and rangy. “Make sure the bodies don’t float up this time. Because I love my house. I love my job. I don’t want to leave the country because you’re sloppy.”

“I have to leave,” he said. “That’s not fair.”

“But you’ve still got a pulse. You can go somewhere else and start over. Just make sure the bodies stay in the water.”

Concrete blocks. Ropes. Chains. Taser. They were going to remove our organs and sink us in Lake Bonaventure.