Every story that needs to be told starts in the heart of the storyteller—but goes no further without someone else who believes in that story as well. To our friend and agent Barry Weiner, your belief in B. and me, and in the rightness of making our story public, made this book possible. It simply wouldn’t exist without you.
To Janis Donnaud, the literary agent whom we originally met at a friend’s Christmas party, we heard early on about your expertise and class, and are grateful we got to experience them firsthand. You make your writers’ work sharper and more focused, and our book is the better for that.
To our editor Heather Jackson, who embodies caring and thoughtfulness, we thank you for encouraging us to write honestly and personally about a subject many still shy away from—but one that must be discussed. We love who you are and what you represent.
To Dr. Sam Gandy, a doctor with a down-home approach and a scientist’s yearning for unlocking the code that will eventually bring about the demise of Alzheimer’s, we thank you. To Dr. Martin Goldstein, a guy with the gentlest bedside manner, and the gift for translating medical jargon into language we could understand, thank you for doing all you’ve done for B. and me.
Dr. Howard Fillit is a person we’ve come to call a good friend. Whenever and wherever he was, we could reach out, and he would be in touch in the blink of an eye. We are so grateful to have a doctor and scientist who treats us like an old-style family practitioner, and who somehow finds the time to head up the Alzheimer’s Drug Discovery Foundation, funding so many promising drugs and therapies.
The title of this book is Before I Forget, but the people above are people we always want to remember. And we will always remember Michael Shnayerson, a writer with kind eyes and a quick wit; above all, an absorber of human experience. His craft is writing, his gift is storytelling, but his true value is in being a good friend.
And to our daughter, Dana Carlisle. From the moment I looked in your eyes at birth, you have been a joy. From the moment B. took you under her wing, you have lifted her up as she did you. We couldn’t have written this book without your keen observations and unflagging honesty. Along the way, you have taught me as a caregiver how to be more patient, more understanding, and more resilient in the face of something that truly no one can prepare for. We love you, we cherish you, we are thankful for you.
To Lois Smith, a sister-in-law who has always been Barbara’s sister, thank you for rounding out B.’s story. To Cynthia Badie-Beard, you and Barbara always say you’re pretend sisters, but I know that’s just a ruse to throw people off, for the love you have between each other only true sisters could share.
And finally, my wife.
I always wanted to have someone in my life who represented an ideal but might not be obtainable. You are that ideal, and I am so grateful for the honor and pleasure of your company, and for the privilege of sharing your life. Most of all I am forever thankful for your eyes that look upon me with love, and for that smile that has captured my heart and millions of others. We all know the secret to you, B.; it’s very simple: what we see in you is what we get—the real deal.