The words jolted her like a power surge through her body. Abby stared at him, speechless, wondering how he could know something she’d never told another soul.
“I didn’t,” she heard herself say. “I mean…that’s crazy.”
“Love is crazy sometimes,” he said, but his eyes told her he wasn’t buying it. “That’s why you covered for him, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t cover for him.”
“That’s why you lied to the police.”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You suspected Reed was somehow involved with the deaths, but you trusted him too much to believe it.”
“He was…he was a doctor, for God’s sake.”
“So you covered for him, didn’t you? By the time you realized he wasn’t the man you thought he was, it was too late. Isn’t that how it happened?”
“I didn’t cover for him.”
“You didn’t tell the police everything.”
“I suspected, but I thought I was wrong. I just couldn’t believe Jonathan would…I just couldn’t believe he could do something so…horrible.”
“You covered for him because you loved him, didn’t you, Abby?”
Horrified, she raised her hands to her face and looked at him over her fingertips. Shame uncoiled in her chest like a sharp piece of metal snapping free, cutting her from the inside out. “No.”
“You lied to the police to cover for him. In doing so, you incriminated yourself, and he framed you, didn’t he?”
“Stop it.”
“Didn’t you?”
She stared at him, shaking inside. “I don’t want to discuss this.”
“The police realized you were lying. Only they thought you were lying to save yourself, didn’t they? They didn’t know you were lying to protect that son of a bitch Reed.”
Abby felt sick inside. She felt stupid and gullible and shamed for having made such a terrible mistake. For loving a man who’d reciprocated by destroying her.
Pressing her hand to her stomach, she turned away from Jake. A sob tore from her throat as the pain broke free. Pain she’d kept secret and tucked away in a place deep inside her.
“I can’t talk about this,” she whispered.
“We all make mistakes, Abby. We fall down. We get back up. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Not you, Jake. You don’t make mistakes. Not like me.”
He laughed then. Not cruelly, but with an honesty that caught her and wouldn’t let her go. “You’re kidding, right? You really believe that about me?”
She nodded. “You’re not gullible.”
Jake couldn’t believe she had so much faith in him, and so little in herself. “I wrote the book on gullible.”
“Did not.”
It surprised him that he could smile about it now. At the time it had felt as if he were having his heart ripped out. “I asked a woman to marry me three years ago,” he began. “There was a forest fire up on Elk Ridge. Took out half a dozen homes. The RMSAR team and I worked in conjunction with the smoke jumpers. A woman and her boy were left homeless.” Jake could still see Richie’s face on occasion. Still thought about him. Still loved him when it didn’t hurt too much to acknowledge it.
“Her husband had deserted her a few months earlier. I couldn’t see a mother and her son homeless, so I invited them to stay at my cabin with me until they could find a place to live and get on their feet again.” Remembering how naive he’d been, Jake sighed. “I…ended up getting involved with this woman, Elaine. I was crazy about her. Crazy about her kid, Richie.”
“What happened?”
He looked over at Abby, saw the solemn look in her face. He hadn’t wanted to open up to her, hadn’t wanted to reopen these old wounds, but he needed her to trust him and figured if he shared some of his own past mistakes with her, she would be more likely to do so with him.
“I asked her to marry me after knowing her only a month. By then we were sleeping together. It didn’t even cross my mind that she wasn’t what she appeared.” Humiliation scraped at him, but he shoved it back. “The day after I asked her to marry me, I came home from work and she was gone.”
“Oh, Jake…I’m sorry.”
He raised his hand. “She didn’t just walk away, Abby. She took everything I had that wasn’t nailed down. Cleaned out my bank account.” He cut Abby a hard look. “I’m a cop. You think I checked up on her?” He shook his head. “I had so much faith in my ability to read people, it didn’t even cross my mind.”
“Did the authorities catch her? I mean, did she get away with taking your money?”
“I figured the money was my own damn stupid fault, so I didn’t pursue it. My main concern at the time was for Richie. I had a hell of a time trying to decide how to handle it.” He looked over at her, felt the kinship between them grow even as he questioned his own judgment for the second time in his life. “I called Child Protective Services, filled them in on what happened and left it in the hands of someone who knew what the hell they were doing.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“So, you see, Abby, you’re not the only one who’s made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Even me, and I’m a cop.”
She looked down at the water swirling around her, looking as lost as anyone Jake had ever seen.
“Are you going to talk to me?” he asked.
She didn’t answer, didn’t even look at him.
“Abby, did you know what Reed had done?”
“Not at first.”
“How did you find out? What did you see?”
“I saw him inject a patient once. I knew he’d been alone with the other patient, too. I knew he’d performed a late-night surgery in the old wing of the hospital. A wing that was no longer used for surgery.”
“You confronted him about that?”
“I asked him about it later, but he said he’d only given the man a B-12 shot. That the surgery was actually an autopsy observed by some interns and that I’d misunderstood what I’d seen.” She risked a look at him. “I believed him.”
“Did he ask you not to tell the police?”
“Yes.”
“So you didn’t?”
She nodded. “I didn’t say anything about it until after Reed took the stand in court and testified against me.”
“Oh, Abby.” Jake ran a hand over his face. “Were you sleeping with him?”
The question went through her like a bayonet. Shame and humiliation bled freely from the wound deep inside her. “Yes.”
“That’s why you covered for him, isn’t it? That’s why you lied to the police…to protect him, isn’t it?”
“He asked me not to tell them.”
“Weren’t you worried about yourself?”
“I was innocent. I had nothing to hide.” She looked across the water, at the snow and the trees through the steam. “It never crossed my mind that he’d done something improper. Or that he would frame me for it.”
“He turned on you, though, didn’t he?”
“Yes.” She was crying openly now, her sobs echoing hollowly within the frozen branches and the rising steam. She knew she was losing it, her emotions, her dignity. But Jake had pushed her too far and she couldn’t stop the long-denied emotions from pouring out.
“He came to me when I was out on bail. Came to me with roses and promises. He said it would all be over the next day. That my case would be dismissed. He had a dozen lawyers working on it around the clock. High-dollar lawyers who would see to it that I was exonerated.” A bitter laugh choked out of her. “He seduced me that night. With his lies. His promises. He used me. I was stupid enough to—”
“No.”
The angry tone of Jake’s voice jerked her head up. “No,” he repeated. “You weren’t stupid, Abby. Don’t ever let me hear you say that again.”
“I slept with him that night, Jake. My fate had already been sealed and he used me one last time. He told me he loved me. And I loved him back. How stupid is that? How do you think that makes me feel?”
“Used. Betrayed. Hurt.” His jaw worked angrily. “But not stupid. Not ever.”
“I let him do that to me.”
“He lied to you, Abby. You loved him. You trusted him. It wasn’t your fault.”
* * *
Jake couldn’t stand to see her shaking, couldn’t stand to see the tears on her cheeks and the ravaged look in her eyes. He knew better than to go to her, knew that would only be asking for trouble. But he wasn’t a strong enough man to resist.
Before he realized he was going to move, he was touching her, pulling her to him. He saw the startled look in her eyes, but that didn’t stop him. She resisted for an instant, her hands pressing against his shoulders, then she relaxed and her body came full-length against his.
Pleasure zinged through his brain like a high-speed jet. The knowledge that he was about to make a fatal mistake collided with logic, exploded. Jake crashed and burned. He fought the need rampaging through him, but the feel of her against him vanquished the last of his resistance.
And he realized his feelings for Abby Nichols weren’t just physical anymore.
The knowledge sent a spark of terror to his brain. He knew caring for her was a mistake, knew fully what it could cost him, both personally and professionally. But he couldn’t bear to see her hurting like this.
Jake wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him. He soothed her pain with his hands, stroking the back of her head, her neck and shoulders. He spoke quietly to her, telling her he would make things right. He would get to the bottom of this. He would look into her case.
He made dangerous promises he wasn’t sure he could keep.
His thoughts fizzled when she shifted closer. His brain went into a stall when the hardened tips of her breasts brushed against his chest. The slick flesh of her belly was taut against his. The swift rush of blood to his groin made him groan. He knew she could feel the hard shaft of his arousal against her, but she didn’t pull away and neither did he.
She sobbed quietly in his arms, her arms around his neck.
Jake stroked her, telling her everything would work out, that he would make things work out. Slowly, her sobs quieted. He knew he should let her go and step back. He knew they were playing with fire. Knew they were both going to get badly burned. She was an escaped convict; he was an officer sworn to uphold the law. It was worse than unethical for him to hold her this way. To touch her like this. To want her, tomorrow be damned. As a cop, his career was on the line. As a man, his personal code of honor.
Neither of those things mattered when she pulled back and he saw his destiny reflected in the violet depths of her gaze.
“I’m sorry he hurt you,” Jake said, his voice rough.
“I’m okay now. I’ve been okay for a long time.”
“It still hurts you.”
“I’m in prison because of him.”
Fury rushed through him, but he stomped it down. Barely. “Not for long.”
She stiffened in his arms, but Jake caressed her shoulders, her cheek, forcing her to relax against him. He wanted her against him. Wanted that more than his next breath.
“Don’t promise something you can’t deliver,” she said.
“When I find him, before I ruin his life, I’m going to deck him.”
“You’re a cop, you can’t—”
“I’m also a man and I damn well can.”
His chest constricted when she smiled. The sight of it did something to him. Something that made his heart pound, made it hard to take a breath. He wondered if she had any idea what she did to him. That with only a look or a sigh or a smile she could turn him inside out. He hurt for her. Emotionally because of the terrible injustice that had been inflicted upon her. Physically because he wanted her so badly the need was an ache that went all the way to his bones.
“This is a dangerous game we’re playing, Abby.”
“I know. I’ve never been much good at it.”
“You’re better than you know.”
“Yeah, well, so are you.”
Bringing his hands out of the water, he skimmed the sides of her face with the backs of his fingers. “Maybe we’re both a little crazy to even be considering it.”
“Definitely crazy. Maybe even a little insane.”
“I’m going to make things right for you,” he whispered. “I promise.”
“Jake, you’re a cop. This…what we’re doing could—”
Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against hers, quieting her. He knew she was right. But right had gone out the window along with his common sense the moment he’d felt her against him.
Jake knew he’d stepped over the line, knew if he let this go any further there was no turning back. But with the swirl of hot water on his skin, the Colorado sky full of stars around them, and the feel of Abby’s soft body against his, the barriers between them melted away.
“I’m going to help you, Abby,” he whispered. “Tell me you know that.”
“I know.”
Her eyes devastated him when she looked at him. The need to protect her, to possess her, overwhelmed him. Somewhere in the back of his head a tiny voice of reason cried out he was crazy for getting involved. But he silenced the voice with ruthless accuracy.
Jake no longer cared about the rules. Right or wrong had melded into a shade of gray and he could no longer distinguish one from the other. He didn’t want to think about his career or how this would affect it. All he knew was that he wanted this woman in his arms. Wanted her more than his next breath. Wanted her so badly he was shaking.
“I know you’re innocent,” he said hoarsely. “I know you didn’t kill anyone. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll get you out of prison.”
When she pulled back to look at him, the tears in her eyes devastated him. “Why are you crying?” he asked.
“Because you’ve given me hope.”
Lowering his head, he kissed the tears from her cheeks, first the left side then the right. “I want you,” he whispered to her. “I know I shouldn’t. I know there are a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t have you. I’ve been fighting it, Abby. But you’re so close I’m touching you, and I’ve never felt so alive. Things have never felt so right for me. Not with a woman. Not ever.”
He kissed her temple, the lobe of her ear, skimmed his mouth down her neck. She shivered, and he felt her nipples harden against his chest.
“I want you. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you,” he said, emotion raw in his voice.
The tears in her eyes glittered like faceted stones. “Wanting like that could cause us some problems, Jake.”
Holding her lovely face between his hands, he kissed her. “Stop making so much sense,” he said.
The taste of her mouth heated his blood. The restraint coiled inside him sprang free, a shackle snapping, releasing the beast. He felt out of control, the threat of an irrevocable mistake taunting him, but Jake didn’t care. All he cared about was the woman in his arms. The woman who’d been hurt and betrayed.
The woman he wanted to make love to.
Silently, he vowed to see her through this. He vowed to make things right for her. And if it was the last thing he did, he vowed to see justice served.
She sighed, and the last of his control fled. Urgency burned him. He deepened the kiss and she opened to him. He reveled in the velvety interior of her mouth. He fed on her like a starving man, devouring the sweetness of her lips. The feel of her body against his maddened him. He’d wanted to take this slow, give himself a chance to cool off and to think about what he was about to do. Jake wasn’t used to tumbling headlong into disaster. But that’s exactly what he did. Whispering her name, he skimmed his hands down her shoulders to her breasts. Utter perfection met his palms. He heard her gasp, but he didn’t stop touching her. He couldn’t even if he’d wanted to. The madness had him firmly in its grip, and he’d given up on trying to fight it.
He stroked the tips of her breasts, her tiny nipples beading beneath his touch. He was aware of her labored breaths in his ears. The bubbling of the water swirling around them. The warmth of the rising steam caressing exposed flesh.
“Stand up,” he whispered.
She looked at him, her eyes wide and uncertain. “Jake—”
He smiled. “I love it that you’re shy.”
“I’m not. It’s just…cold.”
“I’ll keep you warm.”
Taking her hands in his, he eased her to her feet. The cold shocked his skin as he rose up out of the water. Her beauty shocked his senses. The moment didn’t seem real. He stared at her, awed and reeling and a little overwhelmed as the moisture from their bodies evaporated into the frigid air.
“You take my breath away,” he whispered.
She smiled. “That’s just the cold.”
He laughed. “I know the difference, Blondie. Believe me, what you do to me has nothing to do with the temperature.”
Cupping his hands, he captured a handful of water, then let it cascade over her shoulders and breasts. She shivered, and he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the mouth. The taste of her intoxicated him like a powerful narcotic. He skimmed kisses down her throat, running his tongue over her flesh, tasting her, licking the water from her skin. A tremor went through her when he reached her breasts. Leaning forward, he took her nipple into his mouth.
Vaguely, he was aware of her hands going to the back of his head, pulling him closer to her. He suckled her. Crying out, she threw her head back, trusting him, and Jake swore he would never betray that trust.
Not wanting her to get chilled, he kissed her neck, then slowly made his way back to her mouth. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he lowered her into the warmth of the water. Pleasure sang through him. The warmth and swirl of the water. The taste of Abby on his tongue. The mystical beauty of the spring. The magic of the mountains. He kissed her, shutting out the rest of the world. The cold and snow faded into the background. Her being a convict, his being a cop, no longer mattered. He couldn’t think of those things and make love to her.
He tore down the barriers keeping them apart. He feasted on her mouth. The sweetness of her kiss destroyed him, shaking him to his core. Need cut him and went deep, leaving a fresh wound on his heart. When her arms went around his neck and she whispered his name in his ear, Jake knew he’d passed the point of no return.
* * *
Abby knew opening herself up to Jake was a mistake. There were a hundred reasons why she shouldn’t make love to him. She knew he would ultimately hurt her. There was no way any of this was going to work out for either of them. Giving him her heart was a losing proposition no matter how she cut it.
I know you’re innocent.
His words played over and over in her mind like an old-fashioned record with a skip. She could never tell him how much those words meant to her. How much it meant knowing a man like Jake believed in her.
She had every intention of putting a stop to the madness. But Jake’s mouth worked magic against hers, the taste of him filling her with desperate needs that refused to be ignored. It had been an eternity since anyone had touched her this way. Since a man had touched her intimately.
But it wasn’t the physical sensations assaulting her senses that scared her. The emotional connection that had formed between them terrified her. Never in a thousand years would she imagine herself falling for a cop, certainly not a cop who was determined to take her back to prison.
There was no future for them. The realization broke her heart and filled her with a lover’s desperation. All they would ever have, she realized, was this moment. No matter what happened, no one could ever take that away from her. Even if she went back to prison for the rest of her life, she would always have the memory of this night. This magical place. It was going to have to be enough.
Tears gathered behind her lids, but she rode with the emotion, let it guide her. The sensations carried her adrift. A tiny boat in a raging sea. Every nerve ending in her body hummed when his hands skimmed up her sides to cup her breasts. Abby had always been sensitive there, and heard herself gasp when an undulating wave of pleasure swamped her. Heat spiked low in her body and she felt her own wetness meet with the warm water surrounding her.
With gentle fingertips, he touched her face, her throat, and shoulders and belly. All the while his mouth made love to hers. Vaguely, she was aware of the rush of his breath against her cheek. The hard length of his body just a few dangerous inches from hers. He whispered something in her ear, but she didn’t understand the words. She’d moved beyond understanding, her senses overloaded with emotion and physical sensation.
Gliding his hands down her flat belly, he caressed the curve of her hips, the smooth line of her thigh. Arousal flared hot and deep inside her when his fingers whispered across her vee. She uttered his name. He answered with a kiss that devastated her with its sweetness, and she opened to him. A single, earth-shattering stroke and she saw stars. The pleasure jolted her. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t form a single coherent thought.
“Easy,” he whispered. “Let me touch you.”
“This is…too much,” she said.
“Honey, I hate to lay this on you right now, but the best is yet to come.”
She nearly came up out of the water when he began stroking her. Long, sure strokes that set her on fire. She clung to him, dazed by the sensations coursing through her. Abby had never considered herself a sexual person. What few past relationships she’d had, had been luke warm at best. The strike of a match that burned down quickly.
Jake Madigan set her ablaze.
Control fluttered away as his fingers worked their magic. He held her close, speaking softly to her. Words that shook her mind and fed the flames devouring her body. Abby arched in his arms, her senses exploding. Wave after wave of pleasure assaulted her, overloaded her brain. Her cries echoed off the tree branches and surrounding rock. Her body shook uncontrollably while the flames licked at her, burning her. She writhed in his arm, feeling wanton and out of control. As completion rolled over her, she cried out his name. Emotions besieged her, shaking her, frightening her with their awesome power.
Afterward, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly until the tremors stopped. She lay against him with her head on his shoulder, her mind reeling, her body humming with a thousand sensations and the knowledge that she would never be the same. This had changed her. Jake had changed her. Somehow, everything had changed and Abby knew they would never be the same.
Next to her, Jake stirred. She felt him brush a kiss across her forehead. “That was incredible,” he said after a moment.
“Ah…well…” Embarrassment washed over her, and she wasn’t quite sure how to tell him he’d just given her the most erotic sexual experience of her life and they hadn’t even made love yet.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he whispered.
Feeling the blush creep into her cheeks, she turned her face up to his and gazed into his eyes. “It’s never been that way for me before,” she said.
“Me, too.” He pulled her closer and kissed her temple. “This is going to sound corny, but it was like…magic.”
Locked within his embrace, Abby had never felt so safe, so secure, so…cherished. She knew this moment was fleeting, knew once it was gone she could never get it back, so she nestled deeper into his arms and let him hold her. She put the moment to memory. Every detail. The sensation of being in his arms. The way he looked at her. The feel of his mouth against hers. The taste of him….
The next thing she knew she was being swept into his arms and lifted out of the water. Frigid air nipped at her wet flesh, but Jake’s body was warm against hers. Snagging their clothes from the juniper branch, he carried her to where he’d set up camp.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m going to make love to you,” he said.
“In the snow?”
He chuckled. “I thought we might try the tent.”
Setting her down, he set to work unzipping the tent he’d set up. Abby watched him, anticipation and a new nervousness rising inside her. The cold stung her wet flesh, but at the same time it invigorated her. A new warmth seemed to emanate from somewhere deep inside her.
“I wish I could give you more.” Lifting the flap, he ushered her inside. “You deserve more.”
“Roses and champagne?” she said.
“A pretty room at a bed-and-breakfast.”
She grinned at him. “An electric blanket?”
He grinned back. “Let’s see about getting you warmed up.”
Shivers claimed her as she slipped into the tent. She was seriously cold now. She watched, shivering, as Jake quickly zipped their bags together, then motioned for her to get inside.
Abby slid between the soft layers of cotton. Jake got in beside her and they lay on their sides, looking out at the rising steam just beyond the flap.
“I think we have everything we need right here,” she said after a moment. “Look around us. The spring. The ice on the branches. The steam. This is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been.”
It was true. As many problems as the snow and rough terrain had caused them in the last days, the hot spring they’d stumbled upon was one of the most magnificent places she’d ever seen.
“Are you warm enough?” he asked.
She gazed at him, felt the coil of need low in her belly. “Plenty,” she said.
His jaw tightened, and she knew he was thinking of their situation. That in a few short hours he would be handing her over to corrections officials. She knew that would tear him up inside. But she also knew he would do whatever was in his power to help her.
“Don’t think about it,” she whispered.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he growled.
“I know. I don’t want that to get between us right now.”
“Abby, if there was any other way—”
Unable to bear the words, she leaned forward and kissed him hard on the mouth. “Don’t say it,” she whispered, her lips against his cheek. “Please, just…don’t say it.”
His eyes were tortured when he turned to her. “Come here,” he said, but reached for her before she could move. His arms enveloped her. Abby closed her eyes against the rush of emotion, the hot flash of desire. She sensed something different about him now. When he kissed her, she tasted urgency and the bitter tang of desperation. She saw that same desperation in his eyes, felt it echo through her heart. Whereas earlier he’d been gentle, solely focused on her pleasure, she now sensed he wanted to possess her, mark her, make her his.
Before it was too late.
He kissed her intimately, exploring the deepest reaches of her mouth. She opened to him, felt the sharp pang of desire in her belly.
“I swear I won’t let anything happen to you,” he said.
“I know.”
“I’m going to nail Reed to the wall.”
Abby closed her eyes against the rush of pain. He was making her hope. Making her believe it could really happen. That he would clear her name and she would be free to live her life as she pleased. She wondered if she were free, if her life would include Jake….
“Don’t bring him into this,” she whispered. “I don’t want him here.” Only then did she realize she was crying.
“Abby…aw, honey. I’m sorry….”
“Make love to me, Jake.”
“You’re crying. I did that—”
“No.” She closed her eyes against the need pounding through her, the grief clenching her chest, the arousal coursing through her body like hot mercury. “Please…”
Kissing the tears from her cheeks, he moved over her. Abby opened her body to him, and kissed him back, pouring her heart into the kiss.
“Look at me,” he said.
She opened her eyes. He put his hands on either side of her face, brushed the hair back from her temples. Passion shone bright in the depths of his gaze. She could feel his heart raging against hers. The intensity of the moment made her dizzy, as if the earth were swirling crazily beneath her.
“Everything’s going to be all right,” he said. “I promise.”
“I believe you.”
She cried out when he entered her. The slow penetration destroyed the last of her control. Her body commandeered her mind. She heard his name on her lips. Her own echoing among the bare-branched trees and ice-slicked rock. She rose up to meet him, taking him deep within her. It was too much. It wasn’t enough. Her breath rushed from her lungs in a sigh. Her lids fluttered, a kaleidoscope of light exploding in the darkness.
When she opened her eyes and looked up at him, the raw emotion in his eyes devastated her, made her want to laugh, to cry, to take him in all the way to her heart and make them one. She tried to think as he loved her, tried to put the sensations and emotions into perspective. But the overload of pleasure was too much. Her body, her heart, her mind couldn’t take it all in. But he didn’t stop, and she accepted him until she thought she would die of ecstasy.
The first wave of her climax rocked her violently. Closing her eyes against the power of it, she bucked beneath him, absorbing him, loving him as she’d never loved another.
Abby hadn’t expected to be swept away. Not like this. She’d never expected to have her control stripped away, her soul laid bare for this man to see. She never expected him to take her to heaven.
Another wave crashed over her, and she slipped beneath the surface. The force of it tumbled her. Shook her. Her senses overloaded, an electrical circuit hit by a devastating surge. Vaguely, she was aware of her ragged breathing. The sweet ache of her body accepting his. Of Jake filling her, kissing her, whispering her name. She tried to speak to him, but the pleasure stole her ability, and she could do nothing but feel.
He didn’t stop, didn’t wait for her, and the sensations pounded her like a relentless sea. Abby wasn’t sure how long she could hang on. The waves kept coming in quick succession, each more devastating than the first. She felt like a wave-battered beach in the throes of a storm. The pleasure seemed to be drowning her.
Her only thought as another wave rolled over her was that she’d lost her mind and fallen in love with a man who couldn’t ever love her back.