When Oliver and Sullivan walk through the door, Banks and I have just finished putting dinner together. The whole time we’ve been waiting, my emotions have been all over the place. I try not to interpret the scene I witnessed earlier wrongly; I want to talk to Sullivan before I give it any more thought.
“Hey, guys,” I greet them, forcing a smile on my face.
“Hey, beautiful,” Oliver says with a grin, walking up to me and kissing my cheek.
“Hey,” Sullivan mutters, walking up to me next. He places a chaste kiss on my other cheek. I expect him to say something more, anything more, to explain himself, maybe even apologize. But he does none of those things. Instead, he grabs a soda from the fridge and turns his back to me. Literally and figuratively. Part of me is screaming inside, telling me that I should say something, anything.
“I’m going to head to bed,” Sullivan says, out of thin air, and my hands clench into tight fists. Of course, you are.
“You’re not gonna eat?” Oliver questions.
Sullivan shakes his head. He can’t even lift his head to look at his brother as he speaks.
“Nah, I don’t feel good. I’ll see you all in the morning.”
“No fucking way,” Banks yells, causing everyone to look his way. Anger spills out of him as he lifts a closed fist, slamming it down on to the marble island. “You’re going to explain to us, but more importantly, to Harlow, what the hell you were doing with Tiffany earlier?”
“What?” Oliver’s eyes widen in shock. My throat tightens as I await Sullivan’s answer. He still loves me, right? He still wants this? Us? All these questions hang on the edge of my tongue, but I just don’t have the courage to ask them.
“I wasn’t doing anything,” Sullivan answers defensively. His eyes swing around the room before coming to a stop on mine. In his blue depths, I see despair and anger, “Just talking. Am I not allowed to talk to anyone anymore?”
“Jesus, what the fuck, dude?” Oliver yells, his carefree, happy mood changing with every second that ticks by.
“Just calm down, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. You’re blowing this whole thing up!” He growls, waving us off before walking out of the room. I listen to his footsteps as they recede into the other room and then up the stairs. My mind is blown, my heart shattered. What is going on, and how in the world am I going to fix it? Is Sullivan really befriending the one person who hates me most?
Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them away. Crying isn’t going to do me any good right now. Banks curses under his breath and follows behind him, only to return minutes later.
Banks stomps into the kitchen, “He locked his door and is refusing to open it.” I don’t understand. How did we get here? I thought everything was good. I thought we were all happy. I must be wearing my emotions on my face because a moment later, Banks is at my side, his arm wrapping around me, “If you want me to, I can go back up there and kick the door in, but I don’t think it’s going to do any good.”
I shake my head, “No. If he wants to talk, he’ll talk. We can’t make him do something he doesn’t want to do, and if what he says is true, then there isn’t anything more for him to say.”
“Would someone tell me what the hell happened?” Oliver’s gravelly voice pierces my ears, and I look over at him, nearly having forgotten he was in the room.
“It’s nothing,” I answer because honestly, the last thing I want to do is rip the brothers apart. They’re brothers. They should be there for each other, not be at one another’s necks.
“It’s not nothing,” Banks objects, “it’s a big fucking deal, especially because it involves Tiffany.”
Oliver looks between us, bewilderedly, “What did he do?”
Before I can shut him up, Banks is talking again. “We saw Sullivan, Tiffany, and her friends standing outside the library earlier. He was just standing there talking to them, and though it seems harmless, it’s wrong. After everything she did to Harlow, after all the things she said, and continues to say.”
I can practically feel the steam rolling off of Banks.
Oliver just stares at both of us, drinking up every word that his brother gives him.
“I’ll talk to him. I’ll figure out what the hell is going on.” The gusto in his voice gives me hope. If anyone could talk some sense into Sullivan, it would be his oldest brother, but even if he does, it doesn’t really change anything. Sullivan still made the choice to converse with Tiffany, and I can feel him pulling away from me. Putting distance between us.
Oliver dishes up the meal, and the boys dig in, but all I do is stare down at my plate.
We’re all supposed to be sitting down to eat, but instead of being together, it feels like we’re falling apart, and there isn’t any way I can stomach a meal with the way I’m feeling right now. Not with the amount of distance and tension between us all tonight.
“I think I’m just gonna head to bed,” I say, shoving the food on my plate around with a fork.
“You sure? You haven’t eaten anything,” Banks says, placing his hand on my arm.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just want to go to sleep and let this day be over with.” Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better one.
“Why don’t you two go on to bed. I’ll clean this up and join you in a few,” Oliver suggests with a smile, and I’m all for that. Banks nods and gets up with me. Together we climb the stairs and enter his bedroom.
He sets me on the bed and helps me undress before undressing himself. I’m so upset I can’t even fully enjoy the little striptease he’s giving me. When we are both mostly naked, he climbs on the bed and pulls me down next to him. Spreading the blanket over us, he tucks me into his side, and I bury my face into his chest. He smells like soap and man. Slowly his body heat seeps into mine, and I relax deeper into the mattress.
I’m almost asleep when the door creaks open, and light from the hallway spills over into the room. I glance up, hoping it might be Sullivan after all, he’s never gone to bed without saying goodnight to me first. When I see that it’s Oliver instead, a slight wave of disappointment washes over me, and my heart stills in my chest.
Why is he doing this?
I try to push it away, the pain, the anger. I try to be happy that Oliver is here, as he climbs into the bed and lies down next to me. As he wraps his arm around me and cuddles me. I know I’m being ridiculous and spoiled.
Here I am with two guys, two men that love me, but still, I can’t be happy about it because I’m missing a third. Sullivan is meant to be here, and without him, it feels like there is a huge piece of who I am, who we are, missing.
I just can’t help it… no matter how much Oliver and Banks mean to me, I don’t feel complete unless I have Sullivan too. Having him pull away from me… away from us, it hurts. It hurts more than anything else I’ve been through thus far.
The next two days aren’t any better, unfortunately. Sullivan seems isolated and cut off from his brothers, and I. Annoyance slowly turns to jealousy as I try and figure out why he’s changed so suddenly. One minute everything was fine, and the next, he’s avoiding me at every turn. He doesn’t even look at me anymore, and if I try and speak to him, he pretends as if he hasn’t heard me. It’s like he is actively trying to distance himself from me.
All morning, I was looking forward to our afternoon class together, hoping that maybe then he would talk to me, but as I sit in the classroom waiting for him, the seat next to me remains empty. Of course, he would ditch me.
Chewing on the end of my pencil, I look around the class absentmindedly, because let’s face it, I won’t be able to concentrate on anything written on the whiteboard anyway. When nothing inside the classroom holds my interest, I let my gaze wander to the windows.
For the next few minutes, I let mother nature calm my mind a little as I watch how the wind makes the leaves dance in the trees. I’m finally starting to breathe a little better, the ache in my chest easing a bit when my gaze catches on something in the distance.
For a moment, I just stare, my mood souring as I watch Tiffany walk out of the building across the street and down across the lawn. When I spot Sullivan walk up and greet her, that sour mood turns to red hot anger.
Leisurely, he strolls beside her, as if they’re the best of friends. Of course, I can’t hear what she is saying, but from her body language, I can tell that they are having a friendly conversation… too friendly when it comes to her. Maybe I wouldn’t react this strongly if it was somebody else… anybody else. But Tiffany? It feels like a thousand tiny knives are stabbing at my heart right now.
He skipped class with me to meet up with her?
Jealousy burns through me, rushing to the surface, leaving a bitter taste on the tip of my tongue. Unshed tears sting my eyes as I gather up all my stuff and shove everything inside my bag. I can’t do this right now. Not ever actually. The professor briefly glances up at me but doesn’t say anything as I get up and start descending the steps. I can feel eyes on me as I reach the doors and escape the confines of the room.
By the time I make it down the hall, the tears have started to fall, each one leaving a stain against my cheek. My vision goes blurry, either from all the tears or something else. Before I can grasp what is happening, my head is spinning, or maybe it’s the world around me. I can’t really tell. It feels like I’m on a roller coaster, my body going up and down, up and down.
On autopilot, I reach into my back pocket and fish out my phone. Unlocking it, I scroll to Oliver’s number. With my eyes closed, I hold the phone to my ear and wait for Oliver’s voice to fill my ear. The sound of his voice instantly calms me, grounds me, reminds me that everything is going to be okay.
“Can you come and get me,” I ask, breathlessly. “Building eleven.”
“Is everything okay?” I can hear the concern etched into his vocal cords.
“Yeah, can you please just come get me.” The floor sways beneath my feet, and I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on.
“Of course, I’ll be right there.” He hangs up before I can say anything else, and all I can do is hope that I’ll be okay, that everything will be okay. Because if it isn’t, I’m not sure what I’ll do.