Widowed, I came north with three small girls.

A nail was all it took – a gash that swelled

and he with it, three days. He died in pain.

Despair was my bitter secret, married again

for need, not love, to a Gospel-harsh

and mortgaged farmer. I bore him a boy.

Owen Vincent Freeman – how his names glow

on the bronze plaque, as if we had foreseen

death and glory. ‘He died for Freedom and Honour.’

I see his little legs running to school

over frosty paddocks. I can forgive so much

but never this. The blast took off his head.

These green hills of Kamo – see how the sun

shines on them after rain. Two of my girls

are buried in the churchyard, Owen in France.

I listen to the tui, smell cut grass,

read and remember. If I believe in God

there’s no love lost. Here, we are out of touch.