IT DID not abate.
There was a constant call and he tried to ignore it.
There was blackness in his heart and restlessness in his soul.
His tie choked every morning.
The city streets were crowded, the rain was filthy, but home could be here.
He had listened to his brothers, to the king, but he did not agree with them. He had listened to his mother too as she urged him not to close that door to his heart.
That he did have choices.
And he would exercise them, Ibrahim had finally decided. Home would be here and he could still help the people of Zaraq.
He climbed the stairs to Georgie’s small office in long, deliberate strides, his mind made up and nothing could change it.
‘I’ve got a client due any moment…’ She recognised his footsteps on the stairs and did not look up because she didn’t want to look at him—didn’t want to see his face, didn’t want another image added to what she must somehow one day erase.
‘I am your appointment. I had my PA make it in her name.’ The details did not matter. ‘I need to see you…’
‘It’s better if we don’t.’
‘Better for who?’ Ibrahim demanded. ‘Do you feel better, not seeing me?’ He saw her pale face, worried about her slender figure. ‘We need to talk.’
‘I’m not ready to talk.’ She wasn’t. The sight of him, the scent of him, to have him in her space, was overwhelming. She wanted to touch him, to fall in his arms, but she was scared to have to lose him all over again.
‘Then don’t talk, just listen.’ He swallowed. ‘I would be proud to have you as my wife.’
‘But?’ Georgie questioned.
‘There is no but.’
She was quite sure there was and she didn’t want to hear it, was scared to look at him and ask the question that she knew she must. So she forced her eyes upwards, saw the pain in his eyes and knew how badly she’d been missed. She made herself ask the question.
‘What about my work?’ She danced around the issue and yet subtly she broached it—so subtly, even Ibrahim did not realise it.
‘I’m not asking you to give anything up.’
‘You love that land, Ibrahim. You want to be there, I can see it, I can feel it, I know it…’
‘No.’
‘Yes.’
And it was true.
A curse that attached to him, that lived within him, but he could have both, of that he was sure.
‘We will live here. I can return for work, to see my family, but our home will be here.’
And she wanted to say yes, she wanted so much to say yes, to fall into his arms, to accept his offer, to be his wife. Every beat of her heart propelled her to say yes, to give in to the throb of her body, but she was less impulsive now than she had once been, stronger now, and would first take care of herself.
‘And I will return with you?’
He hesitated a moment before he shook his head. ‘When the news comes out about your past, there will be outrage—but you will be here, I will protect you from that.’
‘I don’t need your protection,’ Georgie said. ‘Because it’s not going to happen.’
‘I’m offering you—’
‘Half a princess, that’s what you’re offering me,’ Georgie sneered, surprising herself at the bitterness in her own voice, but it was there, right there beneath the surface, black and angry, just like the truth beneath his shiny offer. ‘Well, I’m worth more than that.’
‘I will give you everything you need here.’
‘But you cannot take me to your home. I cannot live there like my sister…’
‘So you want a palace?’ He too was bitter. ‘You want all the finery?’
‘Yes,’ Georgie said. ‘If I marry you, I want all of it.’
‘You’re not who I thought I knew,’ Ibrahim said, but she was ready for him.
‘I’m better than her,’ Georgie said. ‘And every day I get better. You know I’d have taken it a few months ago, hell, I’d have taken it last week. I’d have taken any crumb you offered just to be with you, but not now…’
‘Hardly crumbs.’ He was offering her everything he possibly could and then some—half his life spent in a plane just to be with her at night.
‘I don’t just want birthdays and Christmas and a husband at weekends. I don’t want access arrangements with a family that hates me. I won’t be an army wife to a country that won’t even acknowledge me.’ And she met his eyes with another demand. ‘And don’t ever describe me as fragile again.’
‘I never have.’
But she didn’t believe him.
‘You don’t have to protect me, or hide me from my past. I’m glad for every last mistake I’ve ever made because six months ago, six days ago, had you come and offered me this, I’d have taken it.
‘I would have been your bride without question but not any more.
‘I want you in my bed each night.
‘I want the palace and the desert and sometimes I want to come back home to London,’ she told him, each sentence delivered more strongly than the last.
‘I want it all and I deserve it, and if you can’t give it to me, if you can’t share all of you, then I won’t take the half that you’re offering. I’m better off single, better off being able to go freely to Zaraq and see my sister and niece, better off being my own person than an exiled wife.’
‘You’re saying no?’
‘Absolutely,’ Georgie said.
‘All that I can give you…’
‘Save it for the wife your father picks for you, Ibrahim,’ Georgie said. ‘Save it for your virgin.’ She almost spat at the thought of it, but she contained herself with words. ‘No matter how well you teach her, she’ll never be as good as me.’